Any May 2009 Chemo Starters?

Thanks everyone for the kind words when I had my meltdown.

I am in a much better head space now.  Having a week of treatment has definitely helped. I am still getting rid of the flu I had.... but at least I am able to breathe again.  I get to See my new oncologist tomorrow.  And rad oncologist next week.

I had the pleasure of attending Zuzee "It's all over party" where she had 70 friends celebrate her completing her treatments, we all wore something pink, and we partied hard.  Zuzee danced most of the night and this gal can boogie.......... It was so cool to be part of it.  We met here and have developed an amazing friendship...

I definitely think we should all celebrate "its all over" and parties are great.

I now have an about an inch of hair on my head, and at the party I got so hot, I took my wig off, first time in a public place, being amongst people who didn't know me helped.  ....it was initially strange, but I was quite comfy doing it.... so as we go into our summer, I think the short headed Titch may appear......

Titch -- Like Lassie11, I am jealous.  A whole inch of hair!  You go girl.  I'm not there yet and my previously blonde hair (okay bottle blonde) is now salt and pepper, so it's very different for me.  I'm about 6 weeks out from my last chemo and I'm starting to go without the wig.  I'm going into Seattle today and I think I may go without it.  I wore it all summer (out and about only) so I understand your not wanting to wear it now that summer is coming for you.  Glad the party was fun. My little family went to the rain forest (4 hrs. drive) and stayed at a lodge, hiked, etc., to celebrate end of chemo for me.  I think it's good to do something to mark the event.  It just indicates it's time to move on and you've jumped one huge hurdle.

Becky, I also felt a new lump in my effected breast and told my oncologist and radiologist about it .They both believe that it is scar tissue. It scared the crap out of me when I felt it.I was still doing chemo and couldn't believe that the cancer could be back while I was being treated. It is so scarey to find anything different while checking for lumps. I found it very hard to check my effected breast for fear of finding something. But I now check more often . Radiation is going good for me.I just completed 15 out of 30 treatments . Hows everyone else doing with there rads? Take care everone. Julie

I saw my oncologist today, and she was shocked I had hair, she said it is not very common for hair to grow whilst still doing chemo...... My colour is salt and pepper too......   I have been told it is initially that colour then changes.... when it initially grew back it was all white....... so I am thankful that changed.....  being only 36 having white hair was not gonna be a long term thing heheh

Today they reported my lymphodema is in my arm...... big damn, it is quite sore, and I am doing everything to try and prevent it..... thankfully it not swollen too much....... 

2 more sessions of chemo... one on thursday and one next week - as long as bloods are ok.... and then I have a 4 week break... before I start Rads.... but abit anxious as that will be around christmas.......

Hello May marvels.  I haven't posted in a while but I do check in regularly.  I am so glad to see everyone is at or near the end of chemo.  I look back on it and often wonder if I had to go thru it again if I would???  Hopefully I will NEVER have to face that question!   

I finished radiation one week ago. I am almost all healed up from the burns - just a little tan still.  Compared to chemo I thought it was not bad at all.  The biggest deal for me was just the hassle of having to go everyday.   Mary, I too am celebrating with a cruise.  We are headed to Bermuda at the end of October and can not wait.  I feel like all I have done for the last 8 months is work and "fight" cancer.  Now it is time to celebrate! 

Take care everyone! 

Just wondering how everyone else is feeling during "breast cancer awareness month"  My thoughts - don't remind me by selling a pink bag of potato chips!  I feel like everyone is looking at me all month and whispering "oh she is one of them" UGH! 

Everyone- Thanks for the words of encouragement.....and ALL IS CLEAR.  I saw my surgeon today for my follow up appointment and apparently the scar tissue that I had felt before changed as a result of the radiation.  So, if you have rads, don't be surprised if your squishy moving scar tissue turns into more of a marble form!  SO, I AM GOOD!  Zuzee.....I wonder if I am going thru some of the same issues as you.  I am done with chemo and done with rads, had sign off from all 3 dr's to go back to work the end of Nov.  But, I feel more depressed now than when I was busy doing the work of Fighting this disease.  It feels like I just woke up a couple weeks ago and said "DAMN, I HAD CANCER!!!!"  Ever since I am super worried it is going to come back, I have ZERO concentration ability and my temper is about as short as it gets.  I get aggrivated and mad at next to nothing.  Titch so glad to hear you have some hair!  Me too.  Mine is coming in my regular color.  I am surprised, no white since the very begininng 'peach fuzz' stage.

Hugs to all!

Becky

luvtheocean-I am soooo there with you in just realizing what is really happening and beginning to get such a fear of it coming back. I am done with chemo but starting rads next week. I think we all start feeling this way and always will have that fear. Hopefully after time we can live to take life one day at a time. I know I seriously need to learn how to do that!

Goal post moved for me again....went to chemo yesterday and my bloods were so low again....... so no treatment, got to go back again next week.  I just want it over......  I can see my christmas as having radiation.....

I was so disappointed yesterday.... but then I went to work, and opened my email and I got a significant promotion.... so I was absolutely stoked........  all the hard work I have done, and still undergoing treatments have paid off in the end......  It is my job i was aspiring to be so I am stoked.

I had my last chemo treatment on Tuesday.  As with Texas Rose, the last was the worst and I'm in the middle of some bad side effects.  The worst is total numbness in all 10 toes and some bruised toenails which make shoes difficult.   I'm so excited to be finished and to move on though.  The nurses threw confetti and shouted hip hip hooray when I finished my last chemo and I took cupcakes to all of the different departments to thank them.  I am walking the Komen Dallas on Saturday and will begin Tamoxifen on Tuesday.  I'll have an exchange surgery in November or December.  I will have followups every 3 montsh with onc and bs.  I have a little hair that came in during Taxol but will be shopping for another wig to carry me through to when I feel comfy going wigless.  I am tired of my current wig and want a change.  I'm going to the book store now to get books about moving on from breast cancer.  Best wishes to you all!!

Benisse, CONGRATULATIONS!  It is a great feeling!

To anyone else almost done, keep your head up! You to will finish soon. Lots of HUGS! Diana

Benisse- Congrats!  I also did the Komen walk right with my final chemo.  I want to make you aware that it was VERY emotional for me and for my family.  Just thought I'd give you a heads up on that one.  It is truly inspiring to see all the survivors come together with those still in the battle.  Enjoy as you are a survivor!!!

Becky

ps, let me know if you see a Komen car magnet that is only the ribbon (really bright pink) I have been trying to find one online and have had no luck, my step daughter got one at our Race.

Hi Gals

 I a now 3 weeks out from my final rad treatment and my boob is still burnt and skin peeling, very fair skinned and I have now got hives!!!! All blood work back to normal so liver, kidneys all functioning as they should. RBC & WBC normal finally, but I am still very tired by the evenings. In counselling and have 3 sessions to go . Still aggro but calming down slowly!!!! very!!!!

TITCH you are a wonder - Congrats on your promo. Don't fret re rads just ask them to start it when you want to start it. They are great. I had Michael Tills as my rad onc and he is very obliging.

TO ALL WHO HAVE FINALLY FINISHED CONGRATULATIONS, but take it easy as our bodies and minds are exhausted !!!! I keep finding out the hard way by crashing around in the world and then collapsing in a heap upset with the world!!! I will learn one day.

Pink hugs to all Susie xx 

Hi everyone,

 I finished chemo about a month ago, and just started six weeks of rads.  It's odd, but starting rads brought up all the old emotions, almost to the same degree as when I was first diagnosed.  Anger at my #%#$ gynecologist who ignored my lump for over a year despite my please, anger at the mammo center that misread my lump as a "benign ductal calcification," anger at my hubby who is expecting a lot more out of me now that I'm done with chemo, and tons of fear.

  Susie--you're right about feeling exhausted easily.  I thought I'd be smiling and happy and getting stronger day by day.  Not happening.  I'm happy that chemo is over, but the fatigue is still with me.

Jo Anne

LoriR- Congrats on finishing rads and enjoy your cruise!! Mine is not until December, so I have awhile to wait for it. But I need the time to get my strength back. I know what you mean about the pink. Everywhere I turn now, there it is. The stupidest of products are suddenly pink. I'm way more sensitive about it this year.

Susie- Congrats to you also on finishing rads!! I'm sorry for the grief that you have been feeling. It's hard enough to go through what you are going through without all the sad things that are happening to your friends. (((hugs)))

Becky- So glad about your good news!! I can totally relate to the depression. From the minute we are diagnosed, we go into fight mode. Now that is all over and I am left with the same feeling you described...like it has finally hit me that I had cancer. Didn't even let myself think about it when I was in treatment. I guess I thought I would finish chemo and go on with my life. I am floundering and trying to find my way back to who I was before. I suspect that person is gone forever. I just want to stop thinking about cancer all the time.

blondie45- Good luck with rads!!

Indomitable- I hope TAC is kind to you on your last treatments and that rads is easy for you too. I'm sorry you have been fighting infection but at least you feel great! Sorry for what you know is coming. (((hugs))) Hopefully it won't be too bad.

Titch- Congrats on the promotion!! Hang in there!! The chemo will be over soon!!

benisse- CONGRATS!!!! The last one sucks. I am still feeling the effects almost two weeks out. My toes are numb. My big toenails hurt and although my nails have done well throughout chemo, I am afraid that I might lose them now. The fatigue is still bad. And the nose is still bloody. But hey, we are DONE!!!! I guess I just wanted to be done and "normal" again and that isn't happening. Wouldn't it be great if our hair instantly came back?! And all the side effects instantly went away? Yeah...dream on, huh? Find any good books on moving on from cancer?

Waving "hi" to Leslie and Diana!!

ameron- Welcome. I miss the "safety net" of treatment too. I feel like I am out in the world now totally on my own and it's scary! I am starting another clinical trial though (bisphosphonates) and will be doing it for three years, so I will be back to being pretty closely monitored.

Jo Anne- Good to see you. Looks like we are all feeling the same feelings. I guess that must mean we are all "normal". My strongest emotion right now is definitely fear...and anxiety. I hope that rads is easy for you.

DH and I went to San Antonio to the Riverwalk this weekend. We had a great time and I did a lot of walking. I did go back to the hotel room for awhile in the afternoons and rested some. It was absolutely gorgeous weather. I needed it so badly.

My taste buds are slowly coming back, but not as fast as I had hoped for. I can taste more now, but things still just taste "off". How long did it take for those who are farther out of being finished than I am? My hair is coming back also, but still pretty sparse. What is there is dark like my old hair color. Some of on the top is light, but most of it is actually darker than my hair was before.

I enjoyed my week off from having any appts. Tomorrow I have a dental exam for the clinical trial. Tuesday, I have to have followup labs from chemo, an ECHO and EKG, a chest x-ray for the clinical trial and I am signing the trial papers. It is sad that feels like a more "normal" day in my world anymore- being at the hospital for most of the day than the last week where I didn't go at all. LOL  Next Monday my port is coming out!!  I cannot wait!!

Hugs to all!! Rest ladies. Our bodies have been through hell.

Mary

Hi Gals

I need a rant!! My mother has now falen over and damaged her knee, aged 81!!! I finally left the farm to move back to my house in town and now I have to move back to the farm to keep an eye on her again!!! My father who refuses to acknowledge that he is deaf!!! did not hear her scream and I as in Tauranga. She rang me but I thought my father would look after her until I got home. No I told hime 3 hours after the accident happened. I really need this all to stop as I have very little energy left at the end of the day and I can't and don't want to take on nursing her again. I gave her 2 years when she had major back surgery 5 years ago. Now it is my time!!!! to look after myself. Rant over!!!

Stay safe girls Pink hugs Susie xx