Chemo Starting Sep 09

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  • jadams1264
    jadams1264 Member Posts: 417
    edited October 2009

    Hello SOSisters - you are so beautiful to me!  WOW.  I will join you sometime tomorrow, ugly head and all.  You are all gorgeous and I love that everyone is going for it! 

    I am working on our reunion.  I have a list of the 100 richest people in America and I am going to pick and choose the ones I think might actually consider a request.  This is a challenge and I do love a challenge and I want us to have a wonderful time in a really, really nice resort.  Then Vickilynn will have plenty to put in her book and have published and maybe we can get a TV program and/or magazine to pick up our reunion.  Who would have thought that so many talented ladies would be brought together by such a terrible disease.

    I worked all day today, was having some of that decadron energy this morning, which was good.  This evening is a whole different story.  Got my shot at lunchtime and have been slowing down ever since.  I am now out of work for a week.  Don't really like that at all, seems like I was getting just getting caught back up.  We're now over $300.00 for Breast Cancer Awareness month and still going strong.  Our associates are great, did bake sale today, everything looked really good and I didn't want any of it!

    I'm not going to try to do individuals this evening, have chemo brain already and know I'll miss somebody.  Can't tell you how much I love all of you and look forward to your posts.  I have never had a sister (brother either for that matter) and I feel like all of a sudden I have this wonderful group of sisters to turn too.  It's a great feeling for me!

    Take care, know I'm thinking of all of you.  I love all the ideas you are coming up with for this family of ours.  Thoughts & prayers are with you.

    Jane

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  • vickilynn
    vickilynn Member Posts: 422
    edited October 2009

    Neece - those quolls are mean looking little critters!!!  Just looked them up online.

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  • flacracker
    flacracker Member Posts: 78
    edited October 2009

    Hello SOS Sisters!!

    Well I went for my secound t/c treatment on thursday. I was an all day afair. My sis and i got there at 9:00am and didn't get finish until 5;00PM. Blood work was late then the droctoe offfice was 1hour late theni have to wait for the juice to get made. Finally in the chair everything was going fine then my back started paining. The nurse came in and ajusted the flow and put some benidryl . That eas it up quite a bit. Today I feel like I want to do something but I am too tied to do anything. I haven't been sleeping good hot and cold.Even with the bald head I still sweat!Cool

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  • Pamelajo
    Pamelajo Member Posts: 346
    edited October 2009

    Dennis and I went out for breakfast this morning after I rudely woke him up to tell him the DTV guy was here on time to install a receiver in our family room.  I was so obnoxious, like I was still on the steriod high, but I don't know how I could be 8 days after treatment.  I had mopped, done dishes, cleaned my bathroom, did laundry.  Woke up at 3:30 rarin to go.  I swear, I have never done meth or crank, but I've known people who have and do......I got all the symptoms of an addict without the teeth grinding. 

    So anyway, we went to breakfast at Lakeview, a restaurant on a lake, imagine that.  I was happily plopping myself down with a plate full of biscuits/gravy/bacon/sausage/hashbrowns covered in more gravy and a big cup of joe when I noticed the guy across the room staring at me.  It bothered me.  It bothered me for two seconds.  I stared back.  Screw him and his inability to let a woman with a scarf eat a man sized breakfast in peace.  I kept staring.  I stared until he couldn't stare back and started squirming.  I stared until Dennis scooted over to block MY view LOL

    This Lakeview is owned by Amish.  Food is terrific.  Well, after the staredown, I'm shoveling it in and out walks one of the waitresses.  She has a bandana on her head.  Couldn't have been more than 25.  She stares at me I stare at her.  I go up to get my second plate and she comes out and says "we have something in common looks like". 

    Ladies, she is 22 and has Hodgkins........same stuff I had 22 yrs ago which is why I am here now.  She told me all about her treatment.  Things sure have changed.  Her chemo didn't make her sick and her radiation hasn't even burned the new hair growth off her head.  Mine did.  I liked to never got hair back in spots.  She was so happy ......so happy that she beat it or is beating it.  I was happy for her and hugged her right there on the spot.  We laughed about people who stare and some of the crappy stuff cancer does to you........and it was good.  It was good.

    When D and I left I felt so down  though.  I wasn't angry or jealous, but its hard to explain.  Because of my treatment and the bad things that are happening to me now, this little girl has got a chance to survive cancer without all the lasting lousy side effects I will live with forever.  I'm happy for that, but sad that I was a guinea pig.  I'm sad, is that ok?  Is it ok to be sad that I had to go first in a new line of treatment and that someone now benefits from what they learned from me and others treated that same year?  I feel like a heel.  It's bothered me all day.

    boy I've been a downer the last few days.  Anyone got a spare hole I can crawl in?  Rock?

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2009

    Oh Pamela Love, it is okay to have sad cancer days.  I just limit it to three in a row, and then I have to move on, cowgirl up, and get back on my horse.  I cradle you from afar, and let you cry.  I cry with you.  I know I am a Guinea pig too.  I'm doing chemo because I was randomly assigned to it as part of the TAILORx trial.  Sometimes that can bother me, but at the same time my oncotype was a 24, so I would have had to decide for myself without the trial.  So in some way that stress was taken away from me.  We each have to do what we have to do to survive.  That doesn't mean you don't get to cry when your emotions flow over the side of your cute little cup.  I cried last night because I tried to go to the high school homecoming game, and got so cold,(even with blankets and two coats, etc.) that I actually got scared.  I felt so mortal, it just made me sad.  I'm with you cowgirl, we will be okay, and I'll bake you whatever kind of cookies you would like.

    Jane,Melinda and Vickilynn, I know we can make this work!  I am so excited, it is the one thing that cut through my sadness.  Vickilynn, I am sure we can make an article/book work.  I am so excited that you have the writing talent.  I have some great ideas too, and I know we could collaborate into something great.  Jane, you go girl, raising funds on treatment!  I love the 100 richest people idea.  One thing that I think my be unique about this group, because I am sure that there are lots of special threads on these boards, is that many of us don't have real sisters.  I also think that it is interesting that there are 2 threads for Sept, and that this one is smaller but thriving.  And finally, I think it is significant that when Vickilynn started this thread, it was with just a posting of a couple of sentences and it still took off so well.  Let's face it something bigger than all of us is at work here, and we have to figure out how to make it come together.

    I love you all my SOSisters!

    Hugs,

    Susan

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  • unklezwifeonty
    unklezwifeonty Member Posts: 1,710
    edited October 2009

    Dear Pamela,

    Sorry to hear  that you had a bad day. I liked the way you handled the guy staring at you. Today is another day and I sure hope it is a good for one for you.

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  • BarbAnne41
    BarbAnne41 Member Posts: 380
    edited October 2009

    Pamela you are a brave girl, cry when you want. I'll be a sholder too.

    Susan I couldn't agree more-I think it was meant to be.

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  • vickilynn
    vickilynn Member Posts: 422
    edited October 2009

    Pamela - When you started your story about the staring, I thought you were going to tell us you forgot to put on a headcovering, which in an Amish restaurant could cause a scene... So I was chuckling, until I read the ending.  I am so sorry. 

    I kind of feel that way having Triple Negative cancer right now  (they don't know what chemo works for us - All TNs are experiments) --- that tied with BC Awareness and stores asking if we want to contribute to "research".  My husband said to one clerk:  "we're contributing right now". 

    Anyway.  SAD is my husband's and my big word.  There are days I can just say to him, "This is a SAD day" and he doesn't require any more explanation.  Cancer certainly brings an overwhelming sadness.

    Don't know if I shared this with you all before, but I thought this summed it up.  Years ago, a friend called to tell me her husband had just been diagnosed with Stage IV cancer.   She said something that stuck with me all these years, "I feel like I'll never laugh again."   Of course, she did laugh again, eventually, but it helped me first understand her huge sadness.

    By the way,  your description of breakfast made me reallly hungry!  Love and hugs to you.

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  • Pamelajo
    Pamelajo Member Posts: 346
    edited October 2009

    (wraps virtual arms around all my girlies)  thanks everyone.  I guess I am human afterall.  All this time my family has sworn I was an animal (haven't had a belly button since I was 7 months old cuz of a hernia, always told I was hatched). 

    I still don't feel too hot, but I do feel ...............better.  Things are not as bleak today as they have been the last week.  Ugh, my funny bone has been broken and I think I may have busted my give a dern.   I've been a total blitch countless times to my DH.  He says it's ok cause he's been a blitch right back.  Everything gets all better when we kiss eachothers bald heads and say "sorry". 

    This cancer stuff sucks now.  Seriously.  Ok, the cancer doesn't necessarily suck, it's the cure LOL  I didn't know I had cancer therefore it never bothered me, but I sure do know I am getting the cure.  Yes ma'am.  Fully A ware. 

    So guess what, in honor of our bald and beautiful pictures (and the fact that Vickilynn is hungry) and since I'm feeling.................better, but not great, I'm going to rifle through my recipe box and get out a cookie recipe to post here.  Persimmons are in season here, and persimmon cookies are the BOMB!!!!  They make your house smell yummy while they bake too!

    2 cups persimmon pulp

    1 tsp baking soda

    2 cups all purpose flour

    1/2 tsp each cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg and salt

    1 egg

    1 cup white sugar

    1/2 cup butter

    1 cup raisins

    1 cup chopped walnuts

    preheat oven to 350, put baking soda in persimmon pulp and stir, set aside.  mix dry ingredients together and set aside.  Cream butter and sugar till fluffy, then add egg and mix well.  Add persimmon pulp and mix up well.  Stir in dry ingredients.  Stir in nuts and raisins.  Drop by spoonfulls (I like big spoonfulls) onto a greased cookie sheet.  Bake at 350 till fluffy and cakelike.........bout 12 to 15 minutes.

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  • jadams1264
    jadams1264 Member Posts: 417
    edited October 2009

    Hello SOSisters...

    Okay Pamelajo send me a persimmon cookie, I have joined the group of bald heads.  Just wasn't quite ready to post in color though but I'm there!  I'm sorry you have had such a time the last few days, it took me 10 days to get through txt #1.  So far, day 2 of txt 2 is going okay, tired but okay.  You just hang in there girl and keep that attitude of yours - to heck with stupid people, and lord knows there are a lot of them around!  I loved your story about the waitress, you will look back at this someday when you are feeling better and think about how wonderful it was that you contributed to her successful treatment.

     Flacracker - sorry #2 was so long.    I was there 9:30 to 2:00 and thought that was quite long enough.  However my onc nurse makes me come in the day before for lab work so that we don"t have that long wait and they mix our stuff up right there in the center.  How are you feeling today?  Did you get the shot?  I think I feel better today on day 2 than I did the 1st treatment, not full of energy but not completely chemo brain stupid yet.

    Susan - I think we are on to something too.  I have spent those restless nights I can't sleep and made a plan.  I'm going for resorts first so we can have a wonderful place to meet, followed by television, entertainment, publishing, pharmacutical.  I am out of work for a week, going to try to get out at least 40 requests (which if I can get brain in gear isn't so hard).  I'm going to do snail mail direct to heads of each company.  I figure this just feels right and someone is going to respond.  Wanted to do resorts first, I'm envisioning air travel, limos, luxury rooms, spas, makeovers, maybe even a new outfit, shows...good food, good fun.... and then if we could get someone to pick up our story who knows.....  We all certainly deserve this and I think we would make a great group to talk about all the ups and downs of bc.

    I cannot believe how many of you are so talented!  Please keep all your ideas coming, the more you put out there the better our reunion, book, made for TV movie, song album, jewelry business, cards,comedy routine, whatever will become.  

    Did I mention how beautiful I think all of you bald headed ladies are?  We should all have some hair by time we have our reunion, maybe not a lot, but some!

    To all that I didn't mention, know that we are thinking of you.  Hope you aren't posting because you are feeling good and having a great weekend.  If you are down and out hope it is minor and you feel better soon.

    Thoughts and prayers are with you!

    Jane

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  • barbt0323
    barbt0323 Member Posts: 99
    edited October 2009

    Hello my bald and beautiful friends...

    Have been kind of moping around all day.  Had #2 chemo Thursday.  Just kind of feel achy.  Just made my husband go out and get me an Arby's beef and cheddar and a chocolate shake.

    I like the idea of our cooperative story/book. 

    Have a good weekend!

    Barb Cool

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  • Pamelajo
    Pamelajo Member Posts: 346
    edited October 2009

    One fluffy moist persimmon cookie for the lovely Jane and her new shiny top!  Lookin most sexy Jane!  I'm prayin your number 2 goes far smoother than my number 2.  You are such a dynamo with all these plans.  It's prolly just my sick sense of humor, but I wish we could all get an above angle group pic of our bald heads with boobs painted on top.......  That would just be the bee's knee's for Breast Cancer Awareness Month LOL

    Barb, beef and cheddar good.  Making hubby go get it.......very good.  I ADORE those potato pancake thingies from Arby's.  Oh oh, and the horsiesauce on curly fries.  Mmmmmm, and the mocha milkshakes. 

    I'm hungry.  My svelt figure is gone, gone I say.....  I've went from a size 5 junior to a size 9 but I have a butt now, and hips......and I'm sure if I had boobs, they'd be bigger, maybe even voluptuous.  Ahhhh, someday.  I gotta keep these pounds on so I can get boobs like I want.  Cut to fit, paint to match says DH. ;)

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  • DomeGal
    DomeGal Member Posts: 58
    edited October 2009

    Hi All...I am about 3 weeks ahead of you in the treatment department.  Just had tx 3 on Wed. and have had incredible heartburn/indigestion with this one even though on the same drugs...AC.  I went ahead and shaved my head after the second treatment and have been wearing scarves, bandanas and hats to work even though I bought a wig...just can't find the courage to wear it.  I did yard work today...I find that the second through third day of treatment is my "second-wind" time and then I pretty much drop.  So dropping Saturday night and all day Sunday makes me okay for Monday work.  One thing that I noticed after this last treatment as I was driving home, I started crying and had to close myself off in my room and just sob for 45 minutes.  All because I saw a 10-year-old girl eating an ice cream with her grandpa and I wanted to be 10 again and not have cancer....first time that I have been that emotional since awaiting results and then getting the results and seeing myself undressed for the first time after bi-lat in July...oh yeah, and the hair coming out in clumps while I was washing it....My thing is I just want it to be done and over with....3 down and 5 to go and then radiation.  I have been referring to myself as the "chemo freak" because I really haven't experience any really bad symptoms (except for hair loss, tiredness and indigestion)...still eating like a pig and drinking nightly wine to help with sleep.  Have a good rest of the weekend....

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  • vickilynn
    vickilynn Member Posts: 422
    edited October 2009

    Pamela - I can almost smell those persimmon cookies baking all the way in California!  But this time-zone thing kind of messes with that.  You all are already for bed by the time I sit down to read!!  So the cookies have likely cooled off a bit by now.

    Jane - Welcome to the B & B's.  You look great!!  And you posted your pic right away.  Took me a long time to get bold enough to even have a photo taken!

    DomeGal - Haven't met you before, have I?  Welcome.  I'm actually getting my #4 on Tues.  I'm more like Jane, though.  It takes me 7 or 8 days after tx to feel decent.

    To all my sisters:  Have a great night and a blessed Sunday. 

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  • Neece
    Neece Member Posts: 270
    edited October 2009

    Vickilynn, you gorgeous thing, I love your idea for a book with stories woven together.. and your Titanic reference made me chuckle for ages. And I really love the bridge image. I love to write too and I thought I would have wads of words pouring out of me this year, after the car accident and now bc. But something seems to have blocked them up. My beautiful boy turned 21 in Aug and I love to write a sepcial poem when friends and family reach a milestone birthday - but no words! Feels similar to the meds-induced constipation! Frown Anyway I think our stories are definitely worth writing and sharing and I will try real hard to see if I can get something to flow....All the other creative ideas mentioned (Pamela's tree for example) are just very special too.

    These beautiful bare heads make me cry each time I log on! I am so proud of you all.

    Chinablue I am happy you are getting into physical activity - it does help a lot doesn't it? I tackled a steep walk this morning 9 days out of treatment - much quicker than last time.

    Welcome to DomeGal (what a great nickname) Hope your treatment continues to  go OK, The heartburn can be awful though can't it? Just as my nausea abates and I am ready to et eveything in sight the heartburn sets in and really punishes my if I do.. plus the disappoinment of not being able to taste things properly any more.

    You know how we are meant to be rinsing our mouths with mouthwash after we eat? Do you all do this continually or for just some time after each tx? I have been doing it constantly then wondered if I needed to. Mind you I have not had mouth sores to date so maybe it has worked!

    The cookies keep appearing in posts and make me (and my many sweet teeth) very hungry!

    My husband and I were sharing a sad moment this morning and we decided that the night before my next treatment on 22nd, my pre-chemo treat will be to go to a hotel in Sydney for the night! So far we have just being going to see a movie which is fun too. This time though we are going to be staying at this amazing high rise hotel overlooking Sydney harbour, the Opera House and Harbour Bridge. We have stayed there before (every single room has a wonderful view) and just love it. We'll have a lovely breakfast the next morning at our favourite cafe nearby then head into the hospital for my tx. I can't wait!! Our sad moment turned happy. Smile

    love to you ll, I agree with everyone, this is a very special group of women.  I have an older sister (had two but lost one to brain cancer in 1994) but I can discuss so much more stuff with all ofyou. Thank you all.

    Neece

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  • nels032
    nels032 Member Posts: 2
    edited October 2009

    So, how are you doing?  I start Chemo October 21, 2009.  It looks like our cancers are similar.  A little anxious about feeling sick and not liking food.  Okay, I think with losing my hair.  Hope your doing well.

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  • Pamelajo
    Pamelajo Member Posts: 346
    edited October 2009

    Welcome nels032!  This is one of the best clubs you wished you never had to join!  And we don't have membership fee's.......AND, we have cookies.

    If you read back over the posts darlin, you will find just about every side effect (SE) you might have.  My third treatment (TX) is on Oct 22. 

    You will like food, it just won't taste so great for awhile.  I liken the taste in my mouth after TX to sucking on a dustcloth covered in Pledge.  I have no idea how that tastes or why I liken it to that, but it fits.  I'm weird, but not weird enough to suck on a dustrag.

    Hugs all her September's Outstanding Sisters (SOS)...coffee is done, gotta get a cup.  Heard L-Glutamine is the ticket to no more lump in my sternum and other pesky GI troubles, so I'm on a mission today girls!  Hope you all are feeling good and have a super swell day.

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  • BarbAnne41
    BarbAnne41 Member Posts: 380
    edited October 2009

    Welcome Domegal  (have you tried Prilosec or Pepcid, Melinda ad Vickilynn have had good luck with those) and nels 032, like Pamela and vickilynn said it is a great group for support and ideas.

    Vickilynn your tx is Tuesday, so is my first one, I am going to hold the thought of how strong you are in my head. My thoughts will be with you. Do you get  break before you start the 12 Taxol, if I remember right we have the same TX. 

    Pamela- Where oh where does one get Persimmon pulp? Can I get it in Michigan.

    Barb-before I became a vegetarian I use to love, love love beef and Cheddars. My mouth is actually watering thinking about it, but I think my body wold go into complete shock after 13+ years of no mat. I m  sorry about the achy-hope you feel better soon.

    Jane. you are lovely woman, so super proud of you. Good job fund raising.  I hope you are having a lovely weekend. And really have a cookie-what  a simply pleasure. Let me know how the letter writing goes and if you need any help. You never know when you write a letter what may come of it.

    Much love to all my September sisters. I don't seem to have any of that pre-chemo nausea some talk about, I am eating everything that isn't nailed down. But we'll see how I am Monday.

    Hugs

    Barbara

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  • jadams1264
    jadams1264 Member Posts: 417
    edited October 2009

    Good morning SOSisters... well it's a gloomy rainey day in NC and sort of fits my mood and day #3 after txt #2.  Got up sort of acky and blah and seems I'm going to stay that way for awhile.

    Pamelajo - thank you so much for the cookie.  I'm saving it for later today when hopefully I will be feeling a little better.  Pledge dustcloth?  I just love the things you come up with, you keep us all laughing and looking forward to the next one....!  You know we need to save our bald photos, I think if we get someone to pick us up for our reunion they could probably to a photo shop of our heads, not sure about the boobs, but who knows! How did your tree turn out?

    Barbt0323 - we can be mopey all we want!  Wish your Arby's sounded good to me, I love Arby's most of the time.  I hope you are feeling better today!

    DomeGal - welcome to the SOS club.  Please feel free to moan, groan, have a pitty party, etc. with us.  All been there, going through it.  The great thing about us is that we aren't all down at the same time and we have a wonderful group of support to pull us all thorough.  It is the strangest things that set some of us off.  I think we'd all like to go back to simpler times, but we will get through this and better times are headed our way.

    Neece - oh how I have always wanted to see Sydney harbour!  Lucky you and what a wonderful treat for you before your treatment.  I suspect the words will start flowing shortly, we all will look forward to seeing what you come up with.  The nice thing is there is no rush, we have plenty of time.  I have found that rinsing after I eat everytime helps with the nasty taste, my taste is more salt than metal for some reason.  I haven't had but one mouth sore and it was on the outside, don't know if it was from the mouthwash or not, but something is working.  I agree that it seems we can talk to each other more freely.  It is a good feeling for me, I love that I can share.

    Vickilynn - how are you and hubby doing?  I wasn't brave about my photo, I told hubby this am we will have to do another one when I feel better and not quite so far away.  Are you getting excited about this book?  I am so wanting to find a place we can all get together and that is my major project for this week I am home.  Will have hubby & daughter both proofread and edit before I send anything off.  

    Nels032- welcome to the club.  We are all here for you and have all been through the anxious part. Chemo seems to effect all of us differently, some better, some worse.  Go with a positive attitude, that's half the battle.  We will be with you every step of the way.

    BarbAnne41 - you know we are with you in mind & spirit!  Remember to take all your meds and be sure to ask about any side effects you are having (if you have any) whether we have posted them or not.  Thanks for the offer to help with the letters, when I get the first one done, then it will be just a matter of changing a few words here and there.  And I absolutely agree that you never know, I just think we deserve to be able to meet each other and that our reunion will work out.  Granted I may be stretching a bit with limos, etc. but what the heck.  May as well go for it.

    Melinda - how is the pendant going?  I love that you are so talented and I'm sure your design will be beautiful.  Can't wait to see what you come up with!  Hope you are doing well and having a great weekend.

    To all I didn't mention, haven't forgotten just fizzling out.  Take care, hope you are having a wonderful weekend.  To my txt partners not feeling so hot, only a few more days to go..... Thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Jane

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  • Pamelajo
    Pamelajo Member Posts: 346
    edited October 2009

    Jane, I haven't worked on the tree yet.  Gonna pick up some pink jewels today when I'm out getting my L-Glut.  I hate it that you are feeling poorly.....:(  But you are right, we all go through cycles, and mine is apparently over.  Fainted at 5:30 a.m. this morning while holding a can of coffee and I've been right as rain since.  I must have a reset button somewhere that God hit. 

    It's my turn now to be cheerleader.  I'll puff up the pom poms and don my tights!  Gooooooooo TEAM!  You can do it, yes you can, if you can't do it, one of us will do it for you or something.  Yay!

    Take it easy and rest.....the cookies will either be here or I'll make more when you feel better.  Tight hugs and prayers

    BarbAnne my sweet sweet thing.......  I don't know where you get persimmon pulp other than at my house.  I pick em up and squarsh em myself.  I'd say if you can get it anywhere, now is the time to start looking.  You can buy big ole persimmons at the grocery here now, but since I stretch a gnats butt over a barrel, I pick em up from the ground for free.  I could freeze some for you and express mail it.

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  • Melinda-Tma3
    Melinda-Tma3 Member Posts: 168
    edited October 2009

    Hi My wonderfully wonderful SO Sisters....I have had a full weekend! Wore myself out getting everything in while I feel soooo good....Really like normal except for the Pain In My Butt headaches coming and going....then by 6pm...boom....time out for sofa and R & R....

    Welcome to the SOS  Nels and DomeGal.... you are among the finest of whiners, comedians, doctors, nurses, psychologists, listeners, advice givers, baldies and just plain wonderful women....please feel free to be yourself in our company...and we promise to do the same!

    Pamelajo...I'm a little behind here..but a couple things...I've been trying to picture your tree....Would you post a picture of it for me...I need a visual here... also... where are you and your persimmons...and what is that anyways? I'm with Barb, this just isn't in my world here...but I really want to make these!  Also...your story with the Amish restaurant.... Good for you for the stare down....what the heck was his point anyways....trying bully you or what!  Then after I read your post I got to thinking....It's so weird that that guy was in your face...and then out of nowhere...the bandanna angel waitress showed up and the two of you created an unbreakable sister bond....strength and warmth and understanding....and nothing else could even compete with that!  You left there with so much more than when you walked in!  I don't know it just struck me as a very special event.... It's ok to be bummed about being the guinea pig....They are the days you just can't get anything to make sense out of all this crap....It sounds like that day has passed and sorry I wasn't on to send a note....but in the end....we are all guinea pigs that are going through this and until the trigger/cause is figured out...we will all be treated for the cancer instead of an easy resolution to a recognized trigger in our bodies.... Once the cause is found then we as women can prevent this ever happening to us,friends or our children again.  I continue to beat myself up with what I've done differently than all the women I know that don't have BC.... It just makes no sense to me...so.....I think all of us feel the way you were feeling at one time or another!  It;s just ok...

    I am loving all the ideas for our SOS Cause....I think it's amazing how far it's come in just a few posts...If you guys think you would like a blog for this, I can put it together where everyone can jot down ideas, pictures, concepts etc, It will be more focused in on the concept as opposed to our regular girl talk here.  Each of the SOS's will have access to post anything there (artwork, places to contact, articles to share, your writings and poems etc ) and it's really easy for you all to work with too.. So it's just a thought...let me know what you think...   

    I've been running the pendant through my mind for a week now and I have a concept forming...I want to see Pamelajo's tree though....then I'll draw it out for and post a rough draft.   I'm thinking maybe a blue bead (September birthstone is Sapphire) for each of us in a cluster or beaded onto the necklace part itself. Or maybe adding the colors of each of our birthstones in a cluster....IDK... just kinda thinking out loud.   Any thoughts? 

    I think Robin Roberts of Good Morning America is a good contact with all of this too...She is a Triple Neg.  She certainly get's it...she may be able to help or direct us to others willing to help this cause.  Just a thought... 

    Jane I love your picture! You are stunning!.... I went to my son's football game today...it was so windy and I had a hooded sweatshirt on with my wig....every time I moved my head my wig shifted..by the end of the game, my wig had twisted halfway up my face and  I couldn't figure out how to fix it. So as soon as the game was over, I skidaddled out to my car, took it off, found the tag and repositioned it...I then also realized it has some velcro adjusters that were not tightened....I was in a panic through the whole game.... the wig freaks me out sometimes....but if I squint my eyes in the mirror, I can almost see the old me..Innocent

    #3 A/C is tomorrow for me...another wonderful way to celebrate the holiday! So Wed-Sat will probably be my down days....I'll have plenty of time to post, so you'll be getting sick of me! I have a new plan with the steroids and new drugs to help deal with them....So everyone cross your fingers for me and pray this new plan/meds is a good one.... 

    Thinking of you all many times throughout the day.....I love to read everyone's post's so keep em coming....It make me smile inside and out! To the question is this a special board or what....Absolutely...there are none that come close! I have made a few special friendships on other boards, but this is such a dynamic bond....like nothing I have ever encountered....I have a sister...but we are not so close....I try so hard but she resists...and I don't know why.....Not even a call through any of this.   It's sad really, but in the end,  I am blessed each of you awesome women as my sisters. Each of you know how to share so unselfishly.....thank you!  

    Melinda 

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  • jadams1264
    jadams1264 Member Posts: 417
    edited October 2009

    Hey SOSisters...feeling somewhat more human here... sun came out, had a long nap.  So far so good with no nausea, same meds, don't know why but I'll take it!

    Pamelajo - are you ok?  How scary to pass out!  I hope you fell on something soft.  I still want a persimmon cookie when I up to it, never had one of those!  You make a great cheerleader, send us a pic w/pom poms and tights.  Hope you can find what you need to make your tree.

    Melinda, I love your idea of the blog.  I've been thinking I have been hogging up to much space talking about letters, trips, etc.  Plus then we can have one space just to bounce of our creative (or in my case not so creative thoughts). I am sending you a PM about some other ideas.  Hope everyone else will send in their thoughts.

    To everyone else, hope all is well.  To my other txt partners hope you are doing okay and your se's are few and far between if any.  And for those with txt this week, thoughts & prayers and hugs!

    Jane

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  • GmaToni
    GmaToni Member Posts: 175
    edited October 2009

    Hello my SOS Sisters,

    So sorry Ive been out of it after this last Tx (#2) Ive felt so disconnected and tired and pain in my strenum (like Pamela) Ive got relatives here too and its been hard to spend time w/ them so I feel like a heel.... They are from Wisconsin. Going to try and take my Aunt to get her hair done tomorrow and maybe go to lunch. I have been reading all day. Laughing, crying and loving each and every one of you.

    Melinda good luck w/ Tx and I will also help pay for stuff. Sorry if I missed anyone else w/ Tx tomorrow.

    Welcome new girls and all you sexy gorgeous OLD girls...you know who you are... I love you and am sending smooches and hugs and thoughts your way.

    Love,

    Toni

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  • Pamelajo
    Pamelajo Member Posts: 346
    edited October 2009

    Jane:  Apparently I bounce, so (jumps up with hands in the air) I'm OK.  I didn't wake anyone up on my way to the floor.  All I remember is putting coffee in the filter and then the world shifting.  Woke up crumpled on my knees with an empty can of Maxwell House in my hand and what I'm sure was a confused look on my face.  Got up, decided I hadn't indeed died, and finished making coffee.  Mom says my blood pressure is low.  Who knows......haven't had a tick since.  World is stable and other than bawling watching "Terms of Endearment" I've been little Miss Sunshine all day.  I do hope you are on the road to feeling better soon.  Chemo blows.

    Melinda:  I had every great intention of going to get my supplies for my tree today, however, after what I will from now on refer to as the 5:30 incident, I didn't feel the safest to drive.  We are going out tomorrow (it's Columbus day and the government gives us the day off paid.  I love the army).  It'll take me awhile to make the tree, but I will post a pic as soon as I can.  I have one tree around here somewhere.  It's funny I can't find it.  I make little bitty fairies out of cernit clay and hide them inconspicuously around the house so you never know when you might spot one, and I can't find many of them either.  CRS is proving to be most entertaining....I find brand new old stuff all time.  Best way I can describe my trees is, they are about 8 inches tall, mounted on a wooden plate.  They look like real trees, but in place of leaves, I use gemstones.  Each little tree has a  face in the trunk.  I make the branches look like arms, some leaning into the wind, some with branches stretched up to the Heavens and the like.  The face is blended into the tree to look like bark..  I carve the bark into the clay and use dry paint to shade and color.  Good luck with your tx tomorrow.  I'll be thinking of you.

    I am in southern Indiana.  A persimmon is a round orange sweet yummy fruit that falls from the tree after the first frost.  We hilljacks can tell what kind of winter we will have by splitting the persimmon seed in half.  If the inside looks like a fork, it will be mild, a spoon, lots of snow, a knife, bitter cold.  There are persimmon tree's growing volunteer all along the roads in the country here.  If you're fast, you can get em before the deer and coons eat em.  I'm sure if you google it you can find a pic.

    Toni, dear Toni.....I guess if you can't get your hair done, getting Auntie's done is the next best thing.  I do miss having mine shampoo'd.  ahhhhhhhhhhhh, memories!  I wish I had some magic cure for the sternum pain.  Not really sure what it is that makes it hurt, but nothing I did or took made it better.  beano helped a little, however, you and I got the gas thing going on anyway, so we might have needed it all along.  Today is day 10 out from #2 and it's the first day that pain has been gone.  I feel for you darlin, I just can't reach you.  My mom seems to think it is reflux.  I don't know.  I DO know that I love ya though.  Hang in there and know I'm thinking of you.

    Everyone else, have an awesome night.  As always, you will be in my nightly conversation with the Big Guy........

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  • vickilynn
    vickilynn Member Posts: 422
    edited October 2009

    Melinda - a separate blog for creations might be a nice idea... as long as we keep this other one going too!  You sound "perky" today! 

    Neece - what a great idea to take a one night holiday.  Don't pack any quolls.

    Pamela - I actually know what persimmons are.  At one place we lived (here in northern California) we had a persimmon tree.  My MIL loves persimmons and couldn't wait until they ripened... but don't pick them unripe or they really make you pucker!!

    Jane - you're really going to town with this idea!  Are you proposing any certain time for this?

    Toni - So sorry you're not feeling your best.  I've been really tired lately too.  I have a good friend I haven't seen in 10 years who is in town and wants to visit tomorrow and frankly, I don't care if she comes.  That's terrible.  I'd rather spend time with all of you because you don't make me answer questions or talk unless I feel like it... and Pamela always offers cookies.

    Barbara - I do get a 3 week break, which will mean I'll have 2 weeks of feeling OK before I start the 12 week thing.  Even though this is #4 and final of the "big guns" I'm not looking forward to it.  I almost asked my dr. if I could stop after that --- feeling pretty weary (not strong at all) the other day ---  but then my husband talked sense and I said I would do it.   

    And to all of you - thanks for helping hold me and everyone else up.  Love you all!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2009

    Hello Sweet Ladies,

    I just read all of the posts since my last post, and you have all been up to so much.  I am really tired so I may not cover direct thoughts to all but I need to get a few things out.

    First I vote yes to a blog, and yes, yes, yes to our SOS thread keeping going.  The blog would just help us share all of our creativity a little more easily.

    Two, all you Arby's lovers are helping pay my bills, thank you!  My DH has been working for Arby's for 27 years (he's 46 years old).  He has done a variety of different things for them, but for the most part he has been the director of human resources for a franchise that owns 50 some stores.  Any way I think it is funny that of all fast food, Arby's popped up on our thread.  I can get you some discount coupons sometime.  If you go with me to get your Beef n' Cheddar, Potato Cakes, and Jamoca Shake I will get you a 50% discount. ; )

    Three, I want a Persimmon Cookie too!  Can you hear the whine in my voice?  I have never had a persimmon and I want one!!!!!

    Four, and this one is really proof that we are all connected on a different level.  Bear with me as I tell this story.  I used to do in home child care, and when I did a lot of neighborhood kids played at my house.  When my oldest daughter was in about 4th or 5th grade a girl named Melissa started hanging out a lot.  She is one of those kids that could really annoy adults, but for some reason we really hit it off.  She is just one of those smart, spunky, mouthy, kids (Pamela) who you either love, or want out of your house.  She became a part of the family for a few years, then her family moved out of the neighborhood, and we only saw her from time to time.  She has always called me "mom",  she says she just can't bring herself to call me anything else.  Any way, I haven't seen her much at all for the last 4 years, but one day a month or so ago she picked up my younger daughter at school and they came by my work to visit me.  It was great to see her, but I didn't think a lot of it.  Then out of the blue I got a text message from her yesterday asking if I was home.  I wasn't, so after a few texts back and forth she told me that she was leaving something for me on my porch.  I expected maybe a scarf or hat.  When I got home it was dusk, and as I walked up to the house I could see a framed picture on the porch.  At first I thought it was a woman dancing, but as I reached it I realized that it was a tree.  The trunk of the tree is a woman's body, with one leg stretched back like a dancer's and that forms a branch, and her arms are outstretched and they form the other branches,  her breasts are like a knot, it is hard to describe, but it is so beautiful.  Next to the tree Melissa wrote, "Even In The Darkness of Winter The Tree Stands STRONG, and if has the bc ribbon under the words.  It's just the most amazing sweet thing, from such an unexpected source.  I am losing it crying right now.  I have to find a way for you all to see it, maybe the blog.  The design that includes the woman's body, and the tree is just amazing, and it can not be an accident with all of the posts and artistic ideas that we have had that include trees.  I just had to share, and now I have to clam down so I can sleep.

    I just know that this group is meant to stay together, and to do something bigger for all of our bc sisters.  You are all amazing, I love you all, and I will talk to you all soon.

    Love and Hugs,

    Susan

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  • unklezwifeonty
    unklezwifeonty Member Posts: 1,710
    edited October 2009

    Dear Susan,

    What a beautiful story. Good night.....

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  • amyooo
    amyooo Member Posts: 77
    edited October 2009

    Susan, I am one of those people that always believes everything happens for a reason. All the happenings of the universe "fit." There are so many amazing, beautiful "circumstances" that take your breath away.... they can't be explained........they just ARE and THAT is why its so amazing.

    Pamelajo, I am so glad you bounce like Tigger!

    Vickilynn, How is Kemo? How are your allergies?

    Love everyone's pictures!!!!!!

    Love everybody!!!

    Amy

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  • jadams1264
    jadams1264 Member Posts: 417
    edited October 2009

    Good morning SOSisters.. here it is Monday am and I should be working but doctor was right to put me out this week, I don't think today would have been so good.  Feeling acky, Advil is helping with bone pain but seems I can feel it more this time.  Glad I am not having the sternum thing (ouch).

    Toni - sorry you have been feeling so poorly.  Just think we are on the rebound!  It is hard enough to struggle through these chemo days let alone entertain.  You hang in there girl, you are tough and your company should understand!  Did you take Claritin?

    Pamelajo - I agree with your mom, your blood pressure probably was low.  Need to get that checked if it happens again.  We all look forward to seeing your tree and I can certainly relate to the CRS.  Threw out rx bottle I should have saved and saved the one I should have thrown out.  

    Vickilynn - sorry you have been down.  I will send you a cookie only mine will be straight out of the package.  Any kind you want!  Some days we just don't want to talk or listen.  That was sort of my weekend and there was no company just a few short phone calls.  AND I agree that we need the blog but this website must must stay.  This feels like my lifeline to all of you!  I'm already worrying about will what will happen when some complete their txts before others and go on to radiation or other stuff.  Can we just keep this one going with whatever we are doing?  How is hubby feeling and how is Kemo doing?  Did you ever hear from the puppy contest?

    Melinda - I love Arby's.  For some reason since chemo started I like the Italian subs, guess there is just some taste or something.  Just another one of those threads pulling us all together.  Your story of the tree was just beautiful and made me cry which is okay cause we need to do that.  Isn't it amazing how all these things are just weaving together?  Good luck w/yr txt today!

    Onty - glad to see you posting.  You doing okay?

    Amy/Ame - so glad you posted.  Doing all right, at work?  We have been missing you.

    Okay - to all.... Would you please send me a PM if you are interested in having a reunion?  This would need to take place before next October (Breast Cancer Awareness Month) so we are probably talking August/Sept 2010.  I need to know so that WHEN we get our response, I will be able to say how many of us there are and where we reside.  If you posted your state on your profile I already have it.  Thanks!

    Hope everyone has a great Columbus Day.  If you are having se's hope they are very minor!  Thoughts & prayers are with you!

    Jane

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  • barbt0323
    barbt0323 Member Posts: 99
    edited October 2009

    Good morning ladies!

    Hope you are all feeling well today.  I was beginning to feel kind of down this weekend.  You ladies always seem to bring me up.  I feel for you when you are not feeling well and share your joy when things are good.

    Well, husband went out and got me Arby's on Saturday.  Yesterday it was chinese won-ton/egg drop soup.  Something about chicken soup!  Laughing  Made it back to work today and fortunately we are slow and I sit all day.

    Did not feel up to having my bald picture taken over the weekend.  I promise this week I will have hubby take a picture of me. 

    Love the idea of a blog, keeping this website up and a reunion.

    Love and hugs to you all!

    Barb Cool

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