Any May 2009 Chemo Starters?

Great to see how everybody is doing!

I have two more Taxol treatments and I am done!! October 6th will be the golden day. I am scheduled to be deported on 10/26. That was the soonest my BS could get me in. This round #10 that I had on Tuesday has been rough. I have been very, very tired and have had much more bone pain than during the previous treatments. After 9 weeks with no Avastin, my blood pressure is finally getting back to normal. My taste buds are gone and a couple of days after treatment, I have the slimy mouth. Yuck! No radiation for me either. I get so flushed the day after treatment from the steroids.

What kind of followups are most of you doing? I had my last chemo appt with my onc last Tuesday and I asked him what followup will be. He surprised me by saying that I would see him every six months. I thought it would be every three months. He said he could see me that often if it made me feel more comfortable, but he didn't feel it was necessary. I will have a mammogram (on my right breast), chest x-rays and labs every six months.  Of course I will probably do the bisphosphonates trial and that means I will see him often and be tested more often. I have an EKG and an ECHO scheduled and then that is it for cancer followup for six months. That makes me more than a little nervous. I guess I am starting to get scared about being out on my own. It's hard to go from being monitored so often (right now it's weekly) to nothing. I know a lot of you are finished. Was it hard to go back to your regular life?

I think of all of you often and hope that things are going well for you. We have come so far. Congrats to those who have finished chemo, rads and have welcomed grandbabies and taken trips and growing hair back. I guess life does go on.

Hi I see my radiologist in 6 weeks time and it was the last week of rads that was bad!! I was burnt but I am very fair skinned do that is par for the course. Mammmograms every 6 months. Yep it is scary being out of the medical world, but I am enjoying my freedom. In NZ we are offered counselling by the BC org so I am going to go as my brain is screwed up!! I can't decide if I want to get married and settle down or stay loose and fancy free. Causing chaos with the man!!! and my friends tell me I have become very aggressive, I know that as i am the one who deperately tries to remain calm and smiling whilst inside I am raging at the world!!! due to stress.

Love Susie. Stay talking Mary.

Titch and Susie are you ladies OK?  The news reported about the quake and possible Tsunami!

Hi all,

  I haven't posted in a really long time, but I read every day and keep up with everyone. 

MARY:  I am sorry that you're having some trouble, but hang in there, you're almost done!!!   You've done well for so long, just keep doing what you have to for just a little bit longer.

SUSIE:  I know what you mean about your head being messed up.  I know I'm going to come out of this tunnel a different person than when I started, but I just haven't figured out how that difference will manifest itself.  Like you, I think I'll be a little less tolerant of people who want to moan and groan or waste my time.  I also think I'll stop waiting for "someday"...some day to travel, or some day to try something new.  I've learned that TODAY is SOME DAY, so live, enjoy and love! 

As for me, next Tuesday is my bilateral mastectomy with immediate DIEP reconstruction.  I'm getting a little nervous.  It's that "unknown" element again, like when we all started chemo.  Can you believe that it's been five months?  Doctors tell me that recovery from surgery will be about six weeks so, when I think that I was on chemo for 17 weeks, six, sounds short (well, sort of!). 

Take care.

Janet

Hey all

We are definitely getting a battering here in NZ at the moment, we have had the most amazing electrical storms the last few days, and heavy rain.  I am lucky I reside inland, but I know people on beach fronts are taking many precautions........ sandbagging homes etc......

I have chemo tomorrow, but already know I probably won't be getting it, I am again full of the flu and feel absolutely YUK............  I just over it all now.... I want chemo to be over.......  I do only have 3 sessions left..... ONLY>........ then Rads......

My lympodema in my back was getting better but has now gone back to the way it was also, thankfully I see them tomorrow.... the pain is very annoying.... like a deep bruise that won't go away.........

It is really strange on CMF, as I have had No SE from the chemo....... and even the steroids are minimal now.    my hair is really growing fast also, but yet I know I don't feel as well as I did on the AC....  which is meant to be the worst of the worst......

Has anyone heard from princessofpower?

Nico

Hang in there Titch. I am now done with my chemo but am far from done with this adventure, still have to have 6 weeks of rads. We can get through this!

Just wanted to send some hugs Titch. I think we get caught up in the battle and don't let ourselves feel the feelings. I know that facing my last chemo, I can already feel the emotions coming to the surface. I have put off feeling them since the diagnosis. My concentration has been on fighting the cancer. Let yourself feel whatever you are feeling. You have every right to the emotions. You have been through so much. And like Julie said, let us support you. We are here and we understand.

(((hugs))) 

Titch,

   Know that melt downs are part of this process, Just as healing is.  Who knows, perhaps the melt downs and the healing are linked!  Maybe you can't have one without the other. 

   It has been a long journey, so it's perfectly natural to feel weighted down at this point.  You have been so strong, for so long, for so many, and with your body drained by chemo, surgery and flu, it's natural that your mind would be consumed too.  Let it out, and move forward.  We've talked before that since we were never really sick, people never really viewed us as sick, maybe we never even viewed ourselves that way.  But, once in awhile, we're reminded that we're not Superwomen.  It's okay to feel like you feel.  You have every right to be sick and tired of being sick and tired. 

   I felt the same way last week,  One morning I just lost it!  After having my own melt down, (that lasted an entire morning!) Then I said to myself "enough is enough" and just made myself busy with "family stuff".  It's normal.  (we're just not used to feeling that way - we are so damn upbeat most of the time!)

Janet

I am DONE! DONE! DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Chemo is DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nap time, but I just had to share!!!!  

Yes, congrats Mary, hopefully you catch up on your sleep now.

Hi all!  I joined this club last May as well, although I am just finding you now.  

I finished chemo over a month ago and am wondering how others are dealing with being done.  I'm just taking Tamoxifen now and am sometimes a neurotic mess.  I seem to have sharp little head pains now and constipation and new skin lesions etc. and worry everything is the bloody BC coming back at me ...  How to cope?

 In a way I found chemo easier.  At least then I knew I was flooding the bloody thing with poison.  Sorry to whine.  I hear so many strong voices on here!  I need to borrow some strength I think.

Mary congratulations! I think for us during this long journey that is one of the best moments we will experience. Congratulations to anyone else you has finished.

I am on rads number 22 out 35 and even though it is easier than chemo I am ready to proclaim I am done.

Titch- I  feel like you. I could start screaming and do so for a long time. I have kept my composure and tried to be so strong for so long  that I am ready to release some of that pressure. I know it is normal to feel this way and that everyone deals with the disease in  a different way. So hang in there!

To everyone else I hope you are doing well! Lots of HUGS! Diana

Thanks everybody! Too bad the side effects don't end right away, huh? Wouldn't it be great if we finished and our hair was instantly back and all side effects were gone?! Tomorrow and Friday will be my bad days, but that's okay. They will be my last bad days!! We are planning on going to the Riverwalk in San Antonio next weekend. I hope my taste buds are a little more back by then. I know I will be feeling better. Might need a nap in the afternoon, but that is ok.

Benisse- I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday!! I wasn't prepared for it to be such an emotional day. I really teared up when I rang the bell and everyone hugged me. Such a great group of nurses at my cancer center. They are the best!! And my DH was there, my mom and my sister. We took a sandwich tray and cake to the nurses. It was a party! LOL

The best part though is that I don't have an appt at the hospital until my ECHO and EKG on the 20th. I don't know what to do with myself! LOL My port is coming out on the 26th and I cannot wait for that! I will see my onc again in a few weeks for followup. My hair is really coming in pretty good now. Still a long way to go until I have full coverage, but it's a start.

Things are definitely looking up!

Hugs to everybody. I hope the time flies by for those with chemo and rads left.

Hi everyone!  I haven't been on here in so long there was NO WAY to get through all the posts.  I hope everyone is making it thru and holding up as best as you can.  I gotta tell ya that being done with everything, chemo and rads and starting tamox was the beginning of a total meltdown!  I have been down for like the last week.  Looks like I am not alone in that area.  I have to see my breast surg on Tues becoz I feel something that doesn't feel the same in my 'affected' breast.  She is going to do an ultrasound.  Probably, hopefully, will say it is scar tissue from the surgery, but I am telling you now that if it isn't and the BC is back she's gonna take em both!!! I know that I could not do the chemo and rad again..........see, thus the meltdown.  I am getting so far ahead of myself in a negative way that it is ridiculous!  I hope I didn't bring you guys down.  I hope everyone is getting stronger everyday!