My Mom

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  • SkipH
    SkipH Member Posts: 3
    edited September 2009

    Im feeling a bit on the helpless side right now.  She was diagnossed on 7-20-09, with IDC grade 2/3.  The size of tumor was 3mm.  She had a lumpectomy two days ago and the cancer has spread to 3 of her lymph nodes.  Shes scarred as everyone here is, and I just am having a hard time dealing with it.  She has an apt tomorrow with her doctor and I know she is going to get more bad news.  This lady has had a tough go of it over the last few years in her personal life, and now this. 

    I was ignorant to thise disease and never really thought about it until now.  Now in my free time, I find my self looking at all these boards, and there is so much information.  I do appreciate that.  Its awfully hard on the people (loved ones) watching them go through this process.  If I could take that on my self I defiantely would. 

    Im sure they are going to recommend Chemo and maybe another operation to remove the affected breast.  I was talking with her last night trying to keep her spirits up.  Any advice on what I could say to her to help would be greatly appreciated.  Its hard to color coat something like this, but I have to convince her that there is some hope.  She is 63.

    Thanks.

  • pj12
    pj12 Member Posts: 25,402
    edited September 2009

    First, it is so great that your mom has you in her corner.  If possible go with her or have a friend accompany her as there is so much to learn in the first several visits.  Ask for all her reports; lab, scans, and surgical.  There is so much information on them that you will want to reference as you research her condition.

    I am 62, close to your mom's age.  So many of the members here are younger women and their treatments tend to be much more aggressive as their cancers can be much more aggressive.  So wait to see what the doctor says before getting too scared.  3 positive nodes probably does mean chemo but it is not as tough as the drugs of 20 years ago.  And the hormonal drugs are taking treatment in a new direction.

    You don't have to bend the truth to convince your mom there is hope!   There is plenty of reason to expect her to do well and have many more years with her family.  The diagnosis and treatment is stressful but she can do it and you can help her.  Don't always be a cheerleader, sometimes we patients just need someone to understand we are having a hard time.  This sad time will bring you two closer together.

     Good luck and stay strong.

    Pam 

  • SkipH
    SkipH Member Posts: 3
    edited September 2009

    She had her post op apt today and they did not get a clear margin, so shes headed back on the 15th to undergo the same operation.  He said he would then have a clear margin.  The path report said 5 nodes were removed.  1 tested positive and the second was "suspicious" 

    The path report also says the node tested positive for "metastatic CA"  anyone know what that means?  Thats a scary word.  She was diagnosed with IDC but they found Lobular in situ as well.  Shes waiting for an apt with oncologist and will take if from there I guess.

  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited September 2009

    Metastatic means it's moved away from the original site, but axillary nodes are still considered local. Distant metastesis is to other organs such as the bone, liver, or lungs. The suspicious node will probably be counted as positive to be safe, so her count would be 2/5 nodes. Her post-surgical treatment will depend on other things that should have been in the path report such as her hormonal receptors (ER/PR positive or negative?) and her Her2 receptor presence (positive or negative)

    If she is ER+, she will most likely be prescribed an amarotase inhibitor for five years. I'm currently taking Arimidex, but ther are two others that are widely prescribed (Femara and Aromasin). They all do the same thing but the side effects can vary, so drs will shuffle them around if the s/e's are troublesome.

    If your mother's cancer has Her2 receptors (Her2+), she will likely be given Heceptin, an intravenous drug, monthly for 6- 12 months.

    And with a couple of positive nodes, it will be likely recommended that she receive radiation treatments for about 5-6 weeks.

    If they recommend chemo, the schedule can vary from every week to every three weeks. During my chemo, I really needed little help, except for two-four days after the infusion. Those were the really blah days and having someone around to fix my meals or get me a glass of water was the most I wanted. I continued to work and only took off two days each chemo dose (scheduled so my dose was Th and Fri). And I was no spring chicken, having turned 57 during my chemo.

    Even not knowing all the aspects of your Mom's case, I'd still say that with the treatments they have today, our lives have been spared and extended...and your mother's will be, too.

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