Any May 2009 Chemo Starters?

Hello May Marvels,  I finally brought the camper home after 2 weeks!  I did get alot of rest and relaxed most of the time.  Now I have to get my house back in order!  I did come home occasionally and kept up with everyone's posts.  It seems like everyone is in such a different place.  I pray all is going well for everyone and we are closer to putting all of this behind us sooner or later! 

 I find that half way thru the day I get pooped out!  I need more energy!!  I hate feeling like I don't want to do anything.  Could it be depression?  I did hear that it takes a year for all of the chemo to get out of your system.  Has anyone else heard that?   Iam dealing with an infection in my foob.  Which will delay getting my exchange surgery.   These TE are really getting on my nerves.  They are so uncomfortable.  It seems like it will be a while before they can come out!! 

Titch-sorry you have to do more chemo.  I know your a strong woman and you won't let it get you down.  At least not for long!  You can do it but Iam sorry that you have to.  ((hugs))

Iam to far behind to address everyone but just know you's are always in my thoughts and prayers! Geri

HI MAY MARVELS, I am so excited, I just finished my last chemo treatment today!!! Yippee ya !! You all  know how it felt, I had a smile the whole time I was in treatment. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and it is so beautiful. I thank each one of you for sharing all your knowledge to us and just being here when we needed you the most. I know that it was much easier with having the support of all of you, the funny comments and the good attitudes of you all. I see my rad Dr. Sept. 10th  to find out when I start my treatment with him. Oh , I do get blurry vision also but I did not have Taxol, I had Taxotere.  Well, now I wait for the se which will probably start tomorrow. Starting to get chemo brain, I keep spelling words wrong  and have to keep going back and fix my spelling. Take care all.. (((( HUGS)))    Julie

Me too! I had my last treatment today. And I did ask the oncologist about the vision - he said yes, it is one of the side effects and I shouldn't call the eye guy just yet about changing my glasses. It was a great joy to have my PICC line removed. And I still get to go see the nice people at the clinic as I continue with Herceptin there. That won't be nearly the same deal. Will also start Femara in three weeks - and radiation in October.  It's not over, but the worst part is over. Hoorray!!!

Hey May Marvels!

Not even going to try and catch up. We took our camper out for a week of peace and quiet. I did read posts on my iPhone but didn't write any. Congrats to all those who have finished!! Someday soon I will too!!

Tomorrow is #6 of 12. They have gone by very fast since I switched to the weekly. So far my side effects have been few. Still only minor bone pain easily controlled with a Tylenol. I do still have the bloody nose. I stopped taking the daily Claritin like Benisse suggested. Makes sense to me. I don't need to be taking anything else that dries my nose or mouth out!! My nose doesn't actually bleed. It's just full of blood when I blow it. The most irritating side effect that I have is coughing. I didn't get the sore throat this time, but I get these coughing fits and I cannot stop. Usually when I'm eating or drinking something. No mouth sores. Just coughing. It's very annoying.

My taste buds are gone. In the first treatments, I would get my taste back around Saturday. This last treatment, I never got it back. And my eyebrows are pretty much gone. Head hair is still coming in but slowed down some. My eyelashes are thinner but still there. I just pencil in eyebrows now. My watery eyes stopped after AC, but I do have some blurred vision.

I was getting out of the pool Saturday when I kicked my toe on the step. I thought I broke it. I might have. It's very purple. Looking a little better now. I just had to laugh. With every else I have faced this year, a broken (or not) toe is the least of my worries, but dang it hurt!!

Finally heard from the boob store and the bra she wants me to try has finally come in. So Wednesday I am going for another fitting and hopefully will finally have a foob and some bras. It might boost my spirits to finally be able to wear all my clothes instead of about four things that don't emphasis my one-boobedness too badly.

I'm getting to that point where I have to talk myself into going to the hospital. Good thing my sister comes and takes me to chemo or else I might head for the hills instead!!

I hope everybody is well. You are all in my thoughts and prayers always. I can't believe how far we have come!

Hugs, Mary

Julie and LassieII -- Congrats on finishing chemo girls!!!  I had my last one Friday.  We did it. 

Peggy

Tom

it is my opinion that depression is most definately a side effect regardless if it is officially listed as one or not.  I have and I am sure others have had days were you just want to throw in the towel - they are fleeting thoughts.  There is just so much to deal with and we JUST want our life back they way it use to be.  Then there is the realization that life will never be what it used to be - it will be different.  We figure if it is different that it will be bad- we just need to be reminded that different can be good and that all of this is worth it.  I am not sure if other cancers are like BC.  I certainly don't mean to minimize other cancers and if given the choices of others we certainly have better outlooks but with BC there is far more outward "disfigurement" than there may be with other types.  So on top of the hair loss and all the SE and the hormone changes and emotions in general we also have the "pink elephant" to deal with as well.  good luck

Hi ladies

Good to see that you are all hanging tough with what must seem like never ending chemo.  I still have more residual chemo SEs than radiation effects!  My onc also said the chemo SEs would be around for a while (the aching bones etc) .  My legs still ache like crazy and yes I have the peeling feet from the taxotere too-- in fact, I got wierd little blisters on my toes during T/C # 2 from the taxotere.  I was told to leave the blisters alone and they would go away, which they did. Taste buds are coming back--although I was at work today and had to go into the college's cafeteria with some students and had to leave-- I thought I was going to vomit from all the different food smells coming right at me:( 

So far so good on the rads--done 10 now.  Scar aches a bit but I am diligent with the lotions and whip of my bra as soon as I get home from work.

I've got about 2 mm of hair on my head!!!  I am so happy about that-- I cannot tell what color it is, but it is coming in at the same speed all over my head, no bald spots. My eyebrows are almost all gone and my upper eye lashes are very few and far between.  But those good ole leg hairs keep on coming:)

The chemo brain is not good-- doesn't seem to be getting better.  I have such a hard time concentrating at work when people are talking to me-- I hope I'll be able to teach without sounding like an idiot.  Can't wait for my kids to go back to school either:)

Big hugs to everyone especially you ladies still on the chemo-- I think of you often.

Helen

Hi all,

  I'm back from two weeks at family camp in Santa Barbara.  I had a great time.  I went "incognito" by wearing my wig every day, as the whether was actually pretty cold.  It was nice to feel normal.  Though I'm happy that I have so my peope who care about me, it was also nice to just feel good, take in the ocean air, and forget about docs and cancer for two weeks.

   Mad rush begins again.  My daughter started high school (9th grade) yesterday, and the crush of fall activities and homework supervision begins.  I had my 5th of 6 chemos today, and felt pretty tired right away.  I seem to get the same symptoms with each chemo, but they seem to start earlier and become more intense than I remember from the earlier ones. 

   I'd like to do something for the infusion room workers for my last chemo--thinking of a fruit and nut platter or homemade muffins that they can also share with the patients.  Has anyone done anything like this?  I haven't seen it done at my doc's office, but I really like the ladies that do such good work in the infusion room.

  So--my next chemo is September 15.  I wanted to put it off a week.  Sept. 16 is my daughter's bday, and the following weekend is the Jewish high holiday of Rosh Hashana.  I'm an officer at my temple, so I was to be quite involved over that weekend.  My daughter is also doing a torah reading.

  The doc really didn't want me to wait a month (again) for my next chemo, so I may have to shirk my duties for the holidays this year and just stay home and rest.  I normally get pretty fatigued around the weekend after chemo.  I'm disappointed, but I guess this is just one big holiday of many future ones that I'll have to scale down substantially or miss entirely.  I certainly have a good reason to do so!

  Nice to read everyone's emails and to see that so many have "graduated!"

Jo Anne 

Giving up Tom. My theory is that our bodies are stressed to the max by all the drama, treatment and truama associated with this disease. As a result our adrenalin levels and cortisol levels are far too high and the fight or flight syndrome comes into play. I am a fighter by nature but this has been one tough ride and I too have thought I want to give up, I want it all to be over, I want control of my life back. Give her time to calm down and rethink the situation, but do remember it is her choice and not yours!!!! Sorry to be so blunt but I think sometimes our loved ones try to take over the decision making process for us, but it only causes more stress for us. Di's needs and wants must come first and I do understand that you love her and don't want to lose her but it is her call not yours to make.

As for me onc told me that chemo is flushed out in 48 hours but it will take as long as the chemo treatment took to reagin the energy levels. I too crash early in the evenings. I had a meltdown morning in Hamilton today as I suddenly realised I had no support network around me. I have had to leave my home, dogs and friends to come to the city for radiotherapy and I am home sick!!! Didn't count on that either!!! Soo a friend of a friend came round to give me big hugs, girls are wonderful to each other. Meeting Titch later today soooo looking forward to it.

Have a wonderful day all. That light at the end of the tunnel is glowing stronger every day for all of us. Stay strong and brave.

Pink hugs Susie

TomnDi--Chiming in on the depression discussion.  I have experienced this during tx and I have always had a very sunny nature, never understood depression. Now I do.  After a couple of tx I told the onc, through sobs, I just wanted to sleep through it all and wake up when chemo was over.  I've had days of crying jags.  The onc recommended I get therapy to cope with the anger and grief that the diagnosis brought.  My dr. said depression is very common among BC patients and that everyone has to deal with it at some point.  Reading this thread has helped me incredibly -- it's a support group.  Maybe if Di read some of this it would help her.  And for me, everything at home is as good as it can be -- supportive husband, like you are, supportive kids, like yours.  So it's no reflection on the family, it's just the drugs and physical beating we're taking.  Also I was on steroids and when you come down off those, it's a major downer, in my experience -- and I believe depression is listed as a side effect.

Big hugs to Di.

Peggy  

 Today has been great, I started my new chemo session (CMF) this time.  I was only there 1.5 hours for my tx.  3 drugs in such a short time.  No more there for hours.  I was playing games on my I-touch and beep beep it was over.... I was so happy.  I have changed my tx from next week on to late afternoons for my treatment, so I can work a half day(the morning), seems pointless taking a whole day of work (where I work 10 hour days x4 per week to have the privilege).

 I also got to meet fellow kiwi Zuzee who I met in this thread in person - wahoo, the climax of my day......

Zuzee it was great to meet you today, and just hang out. It was far to short and I think we could have chatted alot longer hehehe.   I really look forward to meeting again next week.  I do apologise for my blank moments..... can I blame chemo brain.... (hell yes......)

Our chat time went so quick as we both were juggling hospital appointments, but it was so nice to talk in person.... about our experiences, but also us in general, we know so much about people here and it is usually at their worst (SE) and we all have a a life before, during and after cancer.  So it was neat to see that side of Zuzee.

 deb, I have had changes down there, not sores.  But I was told by my oncologist, it was menopause which was a side effect of chemo.  I also have a friend who chemo drugs were burning her skin (literally) and she was getting very sore sores.  It was a bad SE and she got taken of her treatments.  Definitely contact your oncologist, even post chemo......  just to make sure everything is OK.  A phone call, may give you peace of mind.

Tom I can understand someone not wanting anymore treatments, it is alot to go thru physically, emotionally and mentally.  It is there choice if they chose to opt out, and I have seen other posts in other parts of this forum of people who refuse to take the treatments.  There is of course consequences of all decisions we have to make, whether that is having the treatments, and living with the side effects, or not having treatments and the consequence of that.  As long as the decision is fully informed about consequences and other options and the person is making an informed decision.  Those people around us should respect the decision we make as we are the ones who have to live with it.  You definitely need to let her know what your thoughts and feeelings are, as this is part of her making her informed decision.  But it is still her choice.  Cancer has changed my life, my whole outlook on life is different now.  I value things before I took for granted.  I now live a life I chose to live. 

I am sorry not responding to everyone.... I still can't believe I am still going..... On AC I was quite fatigued on my night of treatment.... Tonight I am on a high....... wide awake..... knowing I will crash eventually.

I hope it not tomorrow, my daughters birthday was on the 25th August, she turned 11.  She has 5 friends coming tomorrow night (friday) for a sleepover movie night..... kids will drive me insane and this is probably when I will crash.

I am so proud of you too Zuzee, it is not an easy road we all walk, but having an amazing attitude definitely helps the process and recovery. 

 Have  a drink on me gal tonight, I very seldom drink alcohol due to liver probs I had since I was 20.  But having lil people invade my house tonight, I will probably open up a bottle of wine I got lying here, to relieve stress, since I can't pull my hair out .

Have a wonderful weekend at home too.

To all other May Marvels.  I hope u are all doing ok.

Would love to hear if the chemo worked and if you are winning your battles..... I think of you all often.

I must simply tell each of you how much I am grateful for all of the support, suggestions, counsel, advice, prayers, thoughts and hugs!  It has been such a support to me, a support that I pass on to Diane.  As each of you know from personal experience, she is just so exhausted from the txs.  But, I am pleased to say that she is moving forward.  The few "down" days are fortunately, few.  She may be tired but she accepts this particular ugly hand she's been dealt and will learn from it.  She really is an amazing woman.  Thanks to each of you who either directly or indirectly have provided advice and support.  It just blows Diane away that all these "strangers" can share so much and be such a cohesive, supportive group. I told her it's the drugs!

Tomorrow is her 2nd Taxol tx.  (Only 2 more after that! Last one September 24). I think we're going to make it!

Tom

Finally, I had my last chemo yesterday.  Right now I'm feeing pretty good, which is why I decided to post really quickly, because unfortunately, I know the worst is yet to come,  But, hopefully, my aresenal of prescription and over the counter meds I have stacked up will help me cope with whatever comes my way .... this time .... isn't it crazy how every treatment is a little different? It's been going that way for me, anyway.  I guess that's the cumulative part of each treatment.  Anyway, I'm so glad to finally be able to be in the "I'm done with chemo" club.  I've been reading how so many of you have been done for a while, and it really is nice to finally join you.  I will be doing herceptin until next May, but at that point, that hardly seems to count!

 Take care everybody, and I hope you have a great weekend!

Mary - I agree - herceptin hardly seems like anything at this point.  I will start Femara and radiation too - and still they pale in comparison to chemo. I am annoyed that I am not feeling top notch yet (day 6) . My friends said "of course not, give yourself a chance". But wouldn't you think once the last one is in you'd feel better right away?!  Oh well. I am about to go to the grocery store for some essentials, then pick up my grandson (he who brings energy with him) and then enjoy a short visit from my brother and sister in law who will be passing through town. It's not soooo bad.