How to cope with the loss of hair ?

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mandyholden
mandyholden Member Posts: 5
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

My moms 14th day after her 1st Chemo is tomorrow Undecided which w all know is the enfamous day for your hair to fall out. It started coming out by the strands yesterday but today it is coming out alot more (handfuls). I dont know how this is going to affect her but I am scared for her. How will it be easier for her and I to deal with, she has always had such beautiful hair. Surprised Please help! Thanks so much,

mandy

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2009

    Mandy,

    I lost my hair in April and it is now coming back so the experience is very fresh for me.  everyone reacts differently to the hair loss.  i was not too bothered by it because I just thought of it as something that would have to happen in order to get better.  Somethings that might help:

    1) Shave it when it starts to look really bad.  For me, that was about 10 days after the loss started.

    2) Leave some of the hair around the hair line as this makes it look better with a hat and with a wig

    3) Learn how to tie scarves and use them

    4) Buy great hats and lots of them so it is fun to wear

    5) Many people find a wig a neccesity.  I did not and never wore mine

    6) make sure she has a hat to sleep in as it gets really cold without hair

    7) Remember it is temporary

    8) Go to a Look Good Feel Better session.  It is fabulous

    9) Tell her she looks beautiful daily

    10) Make her feel proud of the strength it takes to go through this and to wear her baldness with pride.

    I hope this helps.  How is she feeling about it?

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  • jancie
    jancie Member Posts: 2,631
    edited August 2009

    For me losing my hair was traumatic and I am not the typical vain person.  However, during chemo I felt so bad I could have cared less that I was bald.  Once chemo was over I became obsessed about it growing back.

    I do agree - a nice soft sleep cap is a necessity for when your head gets cold.

    I went overboard on the wigs and ended up buying 7 of them - 3 different colors - all different styles and I loved wearing my wigs until it got HOT!  It took me a long time to just go out in public with a hat on instead of a wig.  

    I shaved my head with doggie clippers when it first started to fall out.  I didn't want to walk around with bald patches and I in a way wanted to take back control of what was happening with my body.  

    Your mom might experience a whole range of emotions - just be there for her.  Let her know that you love her no matter what.  I was too embarrassed to even let my husband see my bald head and the only time he would see it was late at night when we went to bed and I was going through hot flashes - I would have to take my sleep cap off.

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  • Garciamx
    Garciamx Member Posts: 31
    edited August 2009
    Hello, I never considered myself to be vain either..but of course when it happened I cried. But something a DR said during one of my support group sessions changed my point of view ..he said that we should celebrate that our hair falls out..it is a sign that the chemo is getting to every part of our body..isn't that we want? We want to heal and if that is what it takes, I will take bald any day. Maria
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  • Dragonfly1976
    Dragonfly1976 Member Posts: 1,637
    edited August 2009

    Very good way of looking at it Garciamx. I totally agree, but still am not able to leave the house with nothing on my head 95% of the time it's a wig, the rest it's a scarf. 1 time I wore a hat. I just can't do it! I know about 14 days into my treatment my shoulder length hair was coming out a few strands at a time. That started driving me nuts, so 4 generations of women in my family all shaved my head. It is a hard process to go through, but like Garcia said it's totally worth it for what it's doing!!

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  • Garciamx
    Garciamx Member Posts: 31
    edited August 2009
    Don't get me wrong..I always wore a wig!! But thankfully you sort of get used to being bald and thankfully deep down you know that it is only temporary..I think you end up embracing the "new" you..thinking back ..Wow, I have come a long way!!  Maria
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  • LeftyofAZ
    LeftyofAZ Member Posts: 23
    edited August 2009

    Mandy

    Remember this is only temporay and she'll have new hair one day. My hair started falling out right before christmas, my family made a party out of shaving my head. After it was done, I felt alot better. I felt I had taken control of this and it WASN'T controlling me! 

    I did purchase two wigs, but found out I really didn't like wearing them, they were too hot. I did buy a bunch of different scarves and just matched them to my outfits. I probably have around 20 different designs (little pigs, camo, skull & crossbones, zebra stripes, puppy paws, clovers, stars & stripes, etc) I decided if I have to lose my hair I might as well have fun with it. In June I was able to stop wearing my scarves and just go with my 1 inch hair.

    Wishing you and your mom the best with this journey.

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