Any May 2009 Chemo Starters?

Hi ladies

I think we are all getting very tired of all of the crap we are going through.  We should look back and be so proud that we've made it this far with a vestige of sanity left!!!

I just had my rads appointment.  Tatoos hurt-- got 4 of them, 1 between boobs, 1 between boobs and belly button, 1 on each side parallel to one lower on the stomach. Quick prick then a bunch of sting-- breathe out when they stick you, it does help.  Had a CT scan which was easy comapred to MRI--no IV-- very quick.  I've got sharpie ink all over my chest--lovely.I go back next Wed for simulation and to set up my schedule.  My Rad Onc said he would give me a prescription for a special camisole to wear-- so be sure to ask if that's an option when you guys go.  I was told no bras and freaked as I am a college Prof who teaches 18-21 year old adolescents-- cannot go without a bra / padding. -- not that they will find me attractive in my current bald and yellow skninned stage:) That's when he mentioned the cami...I too have the bras with eyes up the front from walmart-- I used them post lumectomy and I do use them to exercise, butI wear 2 as I need the extra support. They are cheap and work great.

I'll get the skinny of the lotions and potions next week I guess.

Lots of hugs to Titch on her surgery,. Susie-- good luck with rads, I'm sorry it's so far for you to go. All of you on taxol/taxotere--hand in there, you will make it through.

big hugs to each and every one of you

Helen

I hope everyone is doing well!  I just got home from my Look Good, Feel Better class!  It was great! We got lots of make up  and great information. Our volunteer is a professional make up artist that gave us great tips! If you have not done the class, I highly recommend it and the best thing is it does not cost anything. If you can't attend they will send you the bag and a dvd home. Lots of HUGs for everyone!  Diana

I had a so so weekend.  Had taxol # 3 on Friday and friday night, could not sleep at all.  The steroids had my mind racing and I go so much done in my mind as I lie in bed.  Too bad it didn't get done in reality.  Saturday morning, I got up and scrubbed my kitchen from top to bottom.  I was sweeping my screened in porch and suddenly realized that I was doing too much without resting.  How do I know I was doing too much?  I passed out.  I felt myself going and just sat down on the porch so I wouldn't hit my head.  Hubby was cutting the grass and saw me go down and he, being a paramedic, didn't panic but took good care of me.  He made me come inside and lie down on the bed with a fan going on me so that I could rest and cool off.  I slept for about an hour and then felt alot better.  We went out to dinner and a movie that night.

Yesterday, I ran a low grade fever and today I have felt like crap.  I was only able to work 4 hours today before coming home and going to bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Titch - when you are able to check in, just know that I am thinking about you and praying  for you.

echo - you were posting at the same time I was, so I edited to say that I am so sorry, I will be praying for you and your hubby. 

Echo, I just signed in and found your post.  I'm so sorry that you and your family have to go through this.  My heart goes out to you.  Keep us updated on his surgery and of course your progress.

Deb, take it easy and don't try to be superwoman!

Hope all of you are having a good day wherever you are with treatment. 

Hemen, I too got my tatoos and they hurt!  Got one right between my breasts and the other one under my arm.  They look like blackheads to me.  I feel like I need to squeeze them to get the black out!  I went for my treatment planning session last week.  Now I just wait to hear when they want me to come in for my trial run.  I guess the first day is the trial and the next day is the real thing.  I can't wait for this all to be over.

BTW, my hair is actually starting to grow.  I have a five o'clock shadow on top!  I'm four weeks out from my last chemo treatment.  I knew it would grow back fast as I'm all Armenian and we tend to be hairy people!  I just hope I don't find it growing in places that I don't want it to grow!

Thinking of all of you EVERYDAY!!!

Echo:  I'm so sorry.  Things are unbelievably tough for you right now.  We all have to have confidence that we'll get through this.  Just know that we're all here for you.

Mary:  So you joined the club of the near-passer-outers.  Thankfully your dh is a paramedic.  The paramedics who came to my aid last Friday (the store where I was shopping had a policy of calling, which is good) insisted that I go to the hospital. I felt fine within an hour, but stayed there for five hours getting a saline drip and plain old hanging around the ER.  I'm grateful that they attended to me, grateful that it wasn't a heart attack, and grateful that all is well now.  I guess we all have to learn that our minds like us more active than our bodies do!

Jo Anne 

Echo- I am so sorry you and your husband had to get that news. You are both in my prayers.

Titch- You are in my prayers as well. Hope your surgery goes well.

Deb- Sorry you are feeling poorly. Slow down girl! I know what you mean about doing stuff though- I started painting my craft room this week. Probably don't need to be doing that, but I felt good so I did it.

Sorry for all of you who are having painful tattoos right now. I hope rads goes well for you.

Benisse- I asked the clinical trial nurse today about nadir. She said I need to be careful all through chemo. My WBC were a little down today. They expect that but of course no Neulasta shot so she said I still need to avoid crowds and take precautions to avoid germs. I guess even though I feel great, I still have to live like a hermit. I hate that.

Sukiann- Yay on the hair!

My labs were okay and I am getting Taxol #3 out of 12 tomorrow. So far so good. I feel great. Only minor bone pain and a little tired. And my nose is a little bloody. Not bleeding, just dried blood inside. At least it has stopped running. I am loving feeling like a human being again on Taxol, but I also keep waiting for the bottom to fall out. Hopefully it won't. I hate, hate, hate going up there and I cannot wait until this is over. I am so sick of getting chemo! But I better get over it because I have a long way to go. Getting it once a week really makes it fly by though. Seems like I was just up there and it's time again.

Hugs to everybody!  

Hi Girls Forced myself around the golf course today, had to put in card to up my handiap as I can no longer play on current one!! Felt like shite all way round, new bf Ian kept saying eat something to give u energy and I said mate it is the chemo that is doing me in. !!! What is it with men???!!  Don't they know that chemo is poison and does no cell in the body any good!!! Survived and will play on a true handicap !! for the 4 day tournament on 17th August!!

Echo my heart goes out to you WTF??? Life is not fair . Lots of love to u and everyone out there.

Pink hugs Suzzi

There is so much going on on this page that I can't even figure out where to start!

Echo- I am so sorry to hear about your news!!!!!  You will be in my prayers

Everyone else, hang in there, A/C does suck, but I am finally feeling better 3 weeks after final a/c.

Suk- I am starting to grow some hair on top too! Peach fuzz but hey, its hair!!!!

I start Rads next week, I think it is Thursday, have to look at calendar to know for sure, the chemo brain part is still with me.

Hugs to All!

Becky

Lori-

OMG!!!  I would have been so fired up.  I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut, you were so much more diplomatic than I would have been.  What an a-hole!!  I right there with you, I would have much rather worked this summer than be in bed.  I am one of the ones that couldn't work and luckily the company I work for is HUGE and have been very supportive.  I have been very blessed that way.

Sorry that you had such a rotten day!  I would demand an apology!

Becky

Lori I would have punched him!!! I think today has been the toughest to date, feeling exhausted, stressed out by an internet provider that I have been arguing with for 5 days, finally gave me a voucher for $150!! but the stress it has caused has been huge. Spent the day in tears, screaming at people on the phone and swearing loudly, until I exhausted myself. Never made it to work but worked from home again!! Am upset that I have to leave my home for rad treatment. The nearest city is 2 hours drive away and my initial plan of commuting daily and working is not a feasible option, it would exhaust me so plan to stay in Hamiton on Monday, Tues, Wed & Thurs. I look after my folks so I don't know how they are going to manage but they will just have to!!! Going to miss my folks, dogs, friends aggg I want to scream again!!!!! The sooner this is over the better.

Becky glad to hear you are feeling good again. I think I need to go to sleep, it is nearly midnite feeling a lot calmer but still churning inside about life and all the custard it keeps throwing, sometimes it is too hard to deal with.

Pink Hugs all Susie 

I just posted a similar note to the June Chemo's but wanted to share a thought or two here, to see if any of you have noticed similar "changes."

We are on day 7 following tx#4 (A/C) and I've seen a noticeable change in this wonderful wife of mine, but it's not been a pleasant change.  She is ornery and occasionally lashes out; not like her at all.  She's struggling with chemo brain, what she calls "Buzz Brain."  She's having a difficult time concentrating, completing thoughts and conversations.  She feels agitated, restless, and "antsy," unable to just sit and rest.  Where she used to read 5 to 7 books a week, now she can't make it through one a week.  Reading is her life. (She works PT in the children's books section of our local university bookstore.) 

I've been doing some research on "chemo brain" and it's evidently a common s/e of chemo.  There are some who believe it's similar to post traumatic stress syndrome.  If you think about it (if you're able to think), it makes sense.  Your life has been disrupted in a major way, especially with the unknown; not knowing what the next treatment is going to be like; not knowing how you'll react to the chemo; not knowing if the cancer is gone for good; etc.  Add to that the disruption of your "normal" life and you begin to see where PTS makes sense. That's where forums such as this one can be so helpful and beneficial. I'm so grateful to each of you for sharing your thoughts, struggles, questions, and suggestions.

Not to sound overly self-serving but Diane's BC has been somewhat of a blessing as her children and her husband now have to care for her. She's had to allowus to care for her, something she's found extremely difficult.  As a family we've become closer.  We will survive.  And, I realize that this change in attitude is temporary; simply tx#4.  She'll be back to normal soon.  We just need to continue to support her, assist her, at times ignore her, and simply love her.  That's the easy part.

All the best to each of you as you journey together through this rather rough, unpaved, unchartered road.  Consider me an admirer of your strength and positive attitudes.

Tom

Hi Titch, Glad to hear you are still your wonderful powerful self, you keep going gal. TomnDi re books, I was an avid reader, 3 to 4 books a week for years, have not finished a book since this started. Just lack the power to concentrate for any peroid of time. Now read magazines instead.

Went to work today for 6 hours, survived, all vaguely back in control, I think!!??? Glad tomorrow is friday. Nite nite Susie

Titch - so glad you are doing well.  I have been thinking of you and praying for you through your surgery.

Tom- what Di is going through sounds like what I went through.  My hubby even asked my onc if she could give me some "anti-mean pills".  I am a total bookworm and could read a book a day.  Now, I am lucky to get through 1 every two weeks.  It is very frustrating, but this too shall pass.

{{{Hugs))) to everyone

Today continues to be difficult for Diane.  It's day 8 following tx#4 and it's everything you all said it would be.  She's got a fever that's not quite severe enough to start the antibiotic.  She had to leave her part-time job early today because she was, in her words, totally wiped out.  She came home and slept for a couple of hours, something she rarely does during the day. 

For all of you who are suffering through hell, you've earned heaven in my book.  Many, many, many years from now, I look forward to meeting you all there.  We can have a survivor party, those who went through this and those who sat on the sidelines and had to watch.

Echosalvaje, you made the right decision! Remember that what we feel during treatment will get better in a few days. However, wondering about the decision to stop treatment will linger on for a long time. I wish your Dr would not have put you in a position to make that choice.

Titch, I am glad everything went well.

TomnDi- It is very hard to concentrate on any task. Even something as simple as watching a movie. However, it will et better once the treatment ends.

To everyone else I hope you are feeling stronger by the day and getting lots of sleep! Lots of HUGS!  Diana