Mother diagnosed - Need some advice please.

Hi J,

When I had chemo, I had also gone out and already gotten my wigs. I actually went a little overboard and got several. My nieces and a couple of borthers offered to shave their heads, but I laughingly said heck no, then I will have hair and you won't - meaning the wigs. My hair loss did not bother as much after the first day. The first day that my hair finally fell out it was like a slap in the face. No matter how ell youa re prepared for it, it was really the realization finally sinking in that I had cancer. I had my chemo before my surgery. 

Since youa re so far away, my first suggestion is to keep in contact. Just knowing that family was concerned adn thinking of me and willing to listen to me whine meant a lot. I live alone far from any of my family.

Good luck and big hugs to both of you.

C

Hi J, So sorry your mom and you are going through this. But know , she can , and will get through this. First , you are such a good daughter , just being there for your mom , means soooo much. I am two yrs out from diagnosis. I did chemo. Lost my hair. I didn't like wigs though. It was to hot , and scratchy. So I was a "scarf" person. I have heard alot of ladies here , who have had a "shaving of the head" party. And some of there friends or relatives shaved their heads too. I think that this is a good thing to do. Not only does it show love and support for her , it helps to make her feel like she is not alone. And believe me , the hair does grow back in no time. I have a son , that cut his hair sooooo short , that him shaving his head wouldn't have matter!lol But just him being there for me. Just letting me be his mom , and he my son , met sooooo much. He always calmed me , just by being with me. So just tried , as much as you can , to be with your mom. Be it in person , or on the phone , or on the computer. Not feeling alone , or someone to talk to means alot. Good luck to you and your mom. Melody

J

I had a niece, that lives about 4 hrs from me, that  was able to come over and spend weekends with me after I had a treatment.  Mostly we just sat and watched movies and waited for the nausea to hit.  We tried a lot of different meals to see which ones tasted right and which ones didn't. Depending on the type of chemo that your mom has, she might experience a metallic taste to her foods. Tell her to stock up on drinking straws and plastic utensils. They make the food taste more normal. ALSO, less dishes to wash.LOL!

She will be tired a lot and may feel like doing a lot less than she did before. I was unable to work my regular job throughout my treatment. My family got me interested in crocheting again and accepted my practically useless hats, mufflers, and afghans with sincere appreciation. I live in the south so we rarely need these things. LOL! I have spent many hours working on these useless things to take my mind off of the treatments. They were alos nice to keep me busy during the long infusions in teh hospital. If she likes to read, get her lots of books to read. Help her find a small hobby that is portable and mindless. LOL

Hi J , That sounds like an excellent idea about the movie baskets. She will really appreciate it. And it will keep her mind on something else besides bc. And she'll think of her very caring son everytime she watches one. And then yes , you will have something to discuss with her later.

And if you think she would , you could share this web site if you haven't yet. We would love to have her here. You're a good son J. Hugs to you and your mom. Melody