Starting Chemo in June 2005

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  • snufflesmom
    snufflesmom Member Posts: 177
    edited June 2005
    HI Ladies,

    I start chemo this Wednesday the 8th. I hope we all do good. I have 4 A/C's every 3 weeks, then 12 weeks, 1x a week herceptin and taxol. Then 30 rads, then more chemo.
    The fun never ends.

    I just pray if this cancer is going to take a year of my life and my hair and make me sick. IT DAMN WELL BETTER TAKE SOME WEIGHT OFF AS WELL.

    Randi

    dx 5/05
    2.8 tumor, grade 3 of 3.
    er/pr+
    her2/neu +
    no lymph node involvement.
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  • JoMac
    JoMac Member Posts: 192
    edited June 2005
    I keep hearing about losing weight on chemo therapy.
    I have been suprised that my weight has only declined by about ten pounds. From diagnosis, surgery and now my first chemotherapy treatment. I would like to stay at this weight if possible.
    Food tastes better to me now than it has in months. I think that is because I have just finished four days of feeling lousy and because I now have the diagnosis and treatment plan and no longer am in constant fear of waiting for the next shoe to drop.
    I had a healthy life style, good eating habits and no family history so ........( insert a teenage "what ever" here).
    The woman who fitted me for a wig said "cancer has no face" . That made a lot of sense to me.
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  • sjstrader
    sjstrader Member Posts: 12
    edited June 2005

    Howdy, Looks like you and I are on the same schedule. I worked 1/2 a day today, took a nap then felt much, much better. I'm not looking forward to the next chemo but I will know how to handle it better. Sorry you will miss your daughter's graduation. But, it could be so much worse.

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  • JoMac
    JoMac Member Posts: 192
    edited June 2005
    Hi Beta,
    Nice to meet you. Yup, we have the same schedule. You are absolutely right about my daughters graduation.
    Now if it was her wedding I might be having more trouble with the whole idea of not participating.
    I plan on getting through this and being at her wedding some day. She is a strong independent girl who plans to not marry until she is at least thrity.
    I say.."that sounds like a good plan for both of us"
    I hope tomorrow goes well for you too.
    I plan to enjoy everyday I have this week. I have to compartmentalize. As far as I am concerned the week of the 15th doesn't even exist.
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  • LizFL
    LizFL Member Posts: 377
    edited June 2005
    Hi another June 2005 here. First I have to have a PET scan and a MUGA scan and a port put in and hope to start chemo 6/21. Going to have dense dose A/C - 4 treatments 2 weeks apart followed by Taxotere - 4 treatments 3 weeks apart then three week break before 7 weeks of rads 5x a week. Whew...seems like a lot right now, but the sooner I get started the sooner it will be over! Picked up two wigs to be prepared for hair loss. Had mastectomy May 1st. Met with oncologist for first time today. Feel like I am in good hands. I am stage 3 with an aggressive cancer...but onc was very positive and made me feel good. Glad to find this thread...feels like I will be in good company while doing this.

    Hugs,
    Liz
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  • danahollis
    danahollis Member Posts: 161
    edited June 2005
    Hi Junies!

    Randi - Looks like you and I are on the same schedule. I start June 8 as well, 4 AC dose dense followed by 4 Taxol. I'm nervous, but anxious to get going so I can be DONE!

    My port is feeling better today... still notice it...but it's not too annoying. I'm trying to get my house all cleaned up, laundry done, etc. so I don't have to sit around and look at a mess. That would make me feel even more miserable!

    I like reading about your experiences... it makes this all seem not quite so scary to know you are all doing so well.

    Take care ladies! Sending some more cyber hugs!
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  • kimBe
    kimBe Member Posts: 101
    edited June 2005

    Hi Ladies! Had my first treatment on Thursday-and yesterday was by far the worst day....I used to teach medical terminology and "nausea" is a difficult word to comprehend---now I know what it is, but from everything I read I tried to act like my husband and avoid vomiting at all costs...well I finally vomited one time and felt at least 97% better and did great today. Am thinking-what a wonderful thought to share, but if knowing it may be possible to only vomit once helps anyone it will be well worth sharing. I worked today and did fine until I bumped my port and it hurt---I didn't feel like a cute little "blow-up" doll for sure. Too bad about graduation JoMac...am trying to think of something special you could do at home....will keep thinking about it. My oldest son is getting married in Seattle in July and think that I finally convinced them that I would be there-on Sunday I said "I will be there-probably bald, only one boob and a funky port, but I'll be there". and that seemed to finally put them at ease. Better go. Take care and have a great Tuesday.
    KimB
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  • sjstrader
    sjstrader Member Posts: 12
    edited June 2005
    It really seems to help to read these posts and realize that there are so many of us. My youngest daughter is due to have her first baby July 15. I have 2 other daughters, and the tradition has become that I sew a super blanket for each grandchild. Well, I got hit with the bc diagnosis right in the middle of that project, and now I've nearly finished her blanket. So many emotions crowd through my head..depresssing ones and uplifting ones too. To be a woman....what a huge job.
    So, I am not thinking about the 15th either...thanks for the suggestion. I'm wishing you good thoughts and happiness. Keep the faith....baby.
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  • JoMac
    JoMac Member Posts: 192
    edited June 2005
    Now I have to just come up with a really great graduation gift. I will make sure her Dad has flowers to give her. I don't feel like that is enough. I don't want to give her money. she would put it to good use but I want something that will let her remember her graduation day for many years to come with the emphasis on her being there and me being "there" in a conceptual way.
    Is anyone on this thread using sleep aides at night. I have been using ativan at .05 strength. It is not working as well this week.
    Maybe I should ge a larger dose or try something else. I notice when I sleep well, I do better overall so I want to make sure I don't get fatigued beyond what the treatment demands.
    I hope I can nap today. BETA I see you are up before 6 am too.
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  • LizFL
    LizFL Member Posts: 377
    edited June 2005
    JoMac..when my husband's daughter graduated from law school I made up a really cute basket like an Easter basket with a little teddy bear in a cap and gown. Put all sorts of goodies in it...gift certificates in envelopes with cute sayings. You might get her a locket or some other type of sentimental jewlery that she will always have. You could wrap that and put it in the basket with some inexpensive cute stuff. My stepdaughter just loved the basket idea and had fun opening all the different things. You could make a list of things you could put in it and ask your husband or a friend to shop for them if you are not up to it. It sounds like you are doing a great job being open with her.

    Liz
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  • JoMac
    JoMac Member Posts: 192
    edited June 2005
    I think my daughter would enjoy opening up a variety of things. I don't know if I can manage that logistically . I have lots of helpers but I would need to get much more organized to make this happen in the next day or two.
    I did go to Amazon.com and purchase books on film making.
    She spent the year making a film on her own and clearly has a passion for the activity. I can't buy her a great camera but I can contribute to her professional library.
    It doesn't feel quite "girly" enough yet but maybe with the flowers from Dad she will be pleased.
    Last night just for fun I asked what her expectations were. I said "Are you expecting a car." her eyes got wide and then reality crept in and she said "of course not."
    Whew!
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  • LizFL
    LizFL Member Posts: 377
    edited June 2005
    JoMac...I'm sure whatever you do to help her celebrate the occasion will be fine. The film making books sound great and the flowers will make her feel extra special. You sound like a very special mother and that's a gift in itself!

    Liz
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  • kimBe
    kimBe Member Posts: 101
    edited June 2005
    JoMac-since graduation=commencement=beginning, could each one of us email you some "words of wisdom", "things you gotta do", "take on the world" type of stuff and have someone there put it in a scrapbook for your daughter. I can't believe how close I already feel to the members in this group! Anyone else have any input on this (provided JoMac agrees)?
    KimB
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  • JoMac
    JoMac Member Posts: 192
    edited June 2005
    That would be lovely. I thought about giving her Anna Quindlens book ...A short guide to a happy life but it doesn't feel personal enough and also a bit adult ....more for college graduates.
    My daughter and I are very close and the last few months have been very hard for her.
    I want to hit the right note on this graduation thing.
    At first when I told her about how I couldn't be there she was upset and then she quickly recovered and said she understood.
    I have a friend who is going to video tape it for me.
    I have one more week until chemo number two so I have time to make some kind of basket presentation and maybe even a pop-up card or two.
    I am always happiest when my hands are busy and I have a task to do.
    I don't feel very inventive however.
    sigh.....
    But the ideas here have really helped "kick start" my ehthusiasm for the project.
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  • Analemma
    Analemma Member Posts: 1,622
    edited June 2005
    Got my appointments set up. I start on Monday, the 13th. 4 AC + 4 Taxol, dose dense. I've already got them scheduled out on my Outlook calendar, so if I stay on schedule, I'll do the lst Tx on 9/19. Tomorrow I've got bone scans and CAT scans, which I'm really anxious about. This cancer is so much more advanced than anyone thought, I fully expect them to find problems. Hopefully that's just my anxiety talking and they will both be negative.

    I was reading the new US NEws yesterday and they had a blurb about Elizabeth Edwards and her cancer that was announced just after the election. I remember thinking then, in November, that I was glad that I had had my lump checked out and that it was negative. Too bad the Dr. didn't order diagnostics other than a mammo, maybe it could have been caught then. I can't get past this anger about that!
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  • Watson
    Watson Member Posts: 1,490
    edited June 2005
    Fellow June Bugs,
    I'll be starting chemo the week of the 20th. I have to have echocardiogram and a port next week. I'm getting a funky port. Very few other people have responded on these boards that they have even heard of it.
    It's called a pasport and it's surgically implanted in my ARM not my chest. It is not an external thingie. I can swim, etc.
    I had a lumpectomy 5/17 for a 2cm tumor. SNB had one pos node so they removed 13 more which were all fine. Nothing new on the treatment here. 4 A/c, 4 taxotere then six weeks of rads.
    I haven't dyed or styled my hair since diagnosis. I want to hate it so bad that i"m glad when it falls out. haha

    We'll be talking again soon!

    Watson
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  • LizFL
    LizFL Member Posts: 377
    edited June 2005
    Watson...you and I will be starting at the same time. I don't know yet what kind of port I will have..waiting for it to be scheduled. I know what you mean about the hair thing...I need a trim, but decided to ignore it so it will be annoying me when it starts falling out.

    Brenda..I too am a little worried over scans that I will be having Friday. Hard not to worry about bad results after what we've all been through. I feel it is all out of my hands now and just hope for the best. Thank God that we have this great board to share our worries and concerns ...and good things too!

    I just signed up for the American Cancer Society's "Look Good Feel Good" program. It's a 2 hour thing they run to give you hints about makeup, hair etc. while you are undergoing chemo. They are having one near me the day before I start chemo, so I'm looking forward to that.

    Liz
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  • NancyM
    NancyM Member Posts: 289
    edited June 2005
    Here is my contribution for JoMac's daughter's scrapbook:
    "Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from lousy judgement." I don't know who said that first, but it has helped me many times when I have felt I have make a huge error in judgement in my life. I hope you find it useful!

    Oh, I also love this from Rosanne Barr: "Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because the bigger we are the more space we take up and the more we have to be reckoned with."

    This is fun, I'll have to find some more quotes. Even if they are not what you are looking for, someone might like them!

    Nancy
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  • NancyM
    NancyM Member Posts: 289
    edited June 2005
    Hi Dana, I woke up thinking about you starting chemo today! I hope everything went well!!! Sending you warm fuzzies and hoping you get through without side effects.

    I see oncologist #2 tomorrow, so of course I had a dream I went in for my CBC (which I'm supposed to do today) and the nurse started the chemo instead of taking my blood. Nah, I'm not nervous!

    y'all be good today!
    Nancy
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  • Analemma
    Analemma Member Posts: 1,622
    edited June 2005
    JoMac, I have a prescription for Trazadone, which I have used for occasional sleeplessness for several year. Since dx I have taken it every night. Sometimes I wake up at 2:30 or 3 and take a second one. I would give a lot to be able to sleep without waking in the night thinking BC. I'm thinking of asking for something stronger, maybe an antidepressant too.
    Brenda
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  • Analemma
    Analemma Member Posts: 1,622
    edited June 2005
    JoMac, I went to your web site. Your watercolors are lovely. I miss the rural life so much, after spending the 70's and 80's homesteading in rural Virginia. Now we're in Cleveland - culture shock!

    I'm sending some quotes that my SIL from S.C. sent today, for your collection for your daughter. They are in the southern "vernacular."


    Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

    * Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

    * A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

    * Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

    * Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

    * Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

    * Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

    * It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

    * You cannot unsay a cruel word.

    * Every path has a few puddles.

    * When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

    * The best sermons are lived, not preached.

    * Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

    * Don't judge folks by their relatives.

    * Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

    * Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

    * Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

    * Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
    * If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
    * Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

    * The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

    * Always drink upstream from the herd.

    * Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

    * Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

    * If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

    * Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
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  • JoMac
    JoMac Member Posts: 192
    edited June 2005
    Oh thank you LizFL, KimBE, BRendaF and Nancy. There are some great quotes there. Lot's she hasn't heard come out of this mouth before.
    BrendaF....I do find the sleep issue so hard. You wake up at 3, I wake up at 4. It is the nighttime when I have the most doubts and my brain seems to know it.
    I can't remember who was talking about the bone scan and MRI. That was the hardest thing for me so far. I just lost it during the bone scan. They were very kind and took the scan in small parts so that I didn't loose my line of vision and feel trapped. My husband held my hand and I just cried and cried.
    I was so sure it would show I was not going to have a chance to live.
    So I got kind of primal .
    Oh well......
    The hospital called as soon as they got the results and it was fine.
    Since then I have had a big change in my ability to cope with everything.
    So just know that you are not alone and it is scary and although it doesn't feel like it things will be fine.
    The lymph nodes did the job they were supposed to do. You even have evidence of that. Right?
    hang in there....all of you gals make me think maybe I can do this thing. Not feeling alone makes a huge difference.
    As my best friend says....You don't want to be the one in the room with the rare never seen before cancer you want good old garden variety breast cancer..the kind where the doctor says "been there done that", "lets get busy".
    So she is always saying "your not special" ( she means that in a good way ).
    Oh thanks for looking at my paintings. I hope to return to it soon.
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  • danahollis
    danahollis Member Posts: 161
    edited June 2005
    Hi Junies!!!Yep, had my AC#1 today. My DH and SIL sat with me. I arrived at 10:30 and left about 2:30. It was a long process of seeing my oncologist and then getting the chemo started. My SIL and I went to eat afterwards. I feel pretty good at the moment.

    The one thing that did occur was when I started on the Cytoxin, I started to get a feeling of burning in my nasal passages and my eyes... I could kind of smell a stong odor also. I asked my chemo nurse and she said that was a side effect, doesn't happen all the time, but it was not abnormal. I can sort of feel it in my throat a little too. It's not by any means bad though. Just something not quite right... I can live with it.

    I am getting a bit of a headache right now though. I can sort of feel it coming on. Hhmmm.... maybe time to go rest for a while.

    Also, they gave me the Zofran and Dexamethason to take every 8 hours for the next few days and the Compazine to kick it up a notch if the first two don't seem to quite do the trick.

    FYI... the red pea (from the AC) started right away. I'm off to drink a bottle of water!

    Tomorrow, I go back for my Neulasta shot... I hope that goes as smoothly. AT least it'll only take about 30 secs!

    All in all... it went very well. I won't be scared to go next time. My port worked GREAT!!! I love it. So easy.

    Now, maybe I can start growing back all my fingernails that I bit off yesterday when I was in complete panic mode!!!

    I'll keep you posted of further developments.

    Hope you all are doing well... I'm thinking of you during each step of this knowing that we share this bond.

    Be well!!!!
    HUGS!
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  • LizFL
    LizFL Member Posts: 377
    edited June 2005
    Dana, thanks so much for the detail on the first treatment...sounds less scary when you hear first hand. And less scary when you have a good idea of what to expect. Hope you get rid of that headache. Did you have to take anything before the chemo?

    JoMac...at the bottom of this post is a link to a website that has tons of quotes..hope you find something good!

    Hugs to all the June ladies!

    Liz

    http://www.quotegarden.com/index.html
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  • danahollis
    danahollis Member Posts: 161
    edited June 2005
    Hi LIz,

    It was so much less scarier than I imagined!!!

    My Chemo nurse gave me Zofran and Ativan in pill form before chemo, then she gave me "decadron" (I think that's what is was called but I could be wrong) in the IV for nausea and then she started the chemo.

    I had two syringes of AC that she "pushed" herself which took about 15-20 mins or so and then she hooked up the Cytoxin which was IV pushed in 60 mins. Then she flushed the port with saline and Heparin and I was done.

    Altogether it was about 2 hours I guess. Not so bad. I was in a comfy recliner, warm blanket on my lap, cozy socks on my feet from home... TV on for background noise... I was feeling FINE!

    Hugs!
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  • kimBe
    kimBe Member Posts: 101
    edited June 2005
    Hubby came in just as I cut and pasted this so will post more later---but this is an email I received from my younger brother...
    I don’t know if I ever told you this story. Shortly after Spring Break of my freshman year in college, I saw a young woman come into class and sit down, and I felt sorry for her because she obviously had just gone through chemo therapy. Her hair was no more than an inch long. Being rather shy as a college freshman, I just felt sorry for her and kept my thoughts to myself, which was probably a good thing. After all, I realized even back then that “Hey, sorry about your chemo therapy” would not be much of a pickup line. I learned about two years later, when I saw a picture of a particularly bad haircut, that I actually had gotten to know her somewhat. She had gone in for a hair styling and apparently got a beginner. The first try, it apparently looked like hell, so she told the stylist to try again. Second time was not quite as bad, but it was not good. So Kristine Foot, being the fashion plate and diplomat that she has always been, said “Screw it. Why don’t you just give me a buzz cut.” And that is what she got. “Inch nubs.” I didn’t realize that Kris and the poor girl who had ostensibly undergone chemo-therapy were one and the same until I had known her for about a year
    Kristine Foot has been my sister-in-law for 25 years in November!
    KimB
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  • magsandmattsmom
    magsandmattsmom Member Posts: 424
    edited June 2005

    Dana - great look at chemo. Just as I remembered it! One suggestion for you and other with the cytoxin burn or taste. I ate strong BBQ chips to cover the taste. Also if it's too strong they can sometimes slow down the drip and that helps some. They got mine going way to fast one time and the taste and burn was awful, so they just slowed it down and it went away (okay not away to to a level that was fine). Keep up with your meds!

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  • kimBe
    kimBe Member Posts: 101
    edited June 2005
    Hope the "email" I cut and pasted was clear-My SIL Kris has always been "braver" than I am. Anyway. Thanks for everyone who has contributed to JoMac's daughter's graduation gift....and feel free to contribute if you haven't. JoMac-do you have someone who can "pull this together" for you? If not let me know-I will delegate it to Savanna, my 16 year old. Haven't slept well either-left low rib pain, right port pain and then maybe not nightmares but vivid dreams....So I am tired and crabby today. Did go to the ACA "Look Good/Feel Better" beauty thing today...I asked when I called if they had a remedial class because I wear make-up about once every 5 years. I agreed to go only if Savanna went with me---I am picturing the presenter as an 87-year-old rougy cheeked lady or a cheerleader/lifeguard person like Savanna. It was WONDERFUL-if you have a chance GO! I passed steps 1-6 with flying colors....and I attempted "eyes and lips" but made S "correct" them-while I entertained with my abilities in those areas---it was hysterical and fun and actually I learned I can apply some makeup. Lots of no-hair tips.Back to work-fight with the computer-techie on the phone is "walking me through" and suddenly said "we may have to loose your cookies"---I just giggled and said I'm on chemo so that won't be a problem (actually felt sorry for the poor person and hope I convinced her that actually I was amused).
    Somethings don't change...have laundry to do so better go.
    KimB
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  • LizFL
    LizFL Member Posts: 377
    edited June 2005
    Kim...I know sometimes when I make a joke about my BC it scares people..but I feel keeping my sense of humor is an absolute necessity to get through this.

    Dana...you really have helped me relax over what to expect.

    Magsandmattsmom...dumb question...did you eat the chips while you were having the chemo?

    Liz
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  • Rene23
    Rene23 Member Posts: 314
    edited December 2007
    Dana - thanks for the report on your first chemo. I start next Thursday and the anticipation is making me nuts.

    JoMac - My mother recently gave me a framed reprint of an old black and white picture of her and myself from when I was about 5. I was so touched at the reminder of the longstanding and strong bond between us. Maybe you could give your daughter a locket with a picture of the two of you that she can wear for her graduation.

    kimBe - I just signed up for a local LookGood/FeelBetter session. I'm worried about something as stupid as my eyebrows! I hate the way drawn on eyebrows look and don't know what I'll do if (and when) they fall out. So, hopefully this will give me some ideas or at least some confidence.

    A word to everyone... I went to the local American Cancer Society office today because a co-worker told me that they offer free wigs to breast cancer patients. The woman was very nice there and with the help of a friend of mine we picked one out that is pretty decent. I still cried the first time she put one on me, the emotions just bubble out sometimes without any warning, but I got a handle on it then and it was fine.

    My port was put in 2 days ago and it's still a little uncomfortable, but certainly not unbearable. The expander is still a pain though!
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