Starting Chemo May 2008

Just popping in to say Happy Memorial Day!  Hope that everyone has had a great 3 day weekend.  It marks the beginning of the tourist season here!  May venture out to WalMart later, but dread it because the traffic will be terrible.

Jean-Hope you have a great run!  I admire those of you who do this.

Rock--Love you and thinking of you. 

Kerry--AC/DC tickets?????????????  I am so jealous.  Hubby has his mp3 loaded with their music.   Will be thinking of you when you have your recon.  It's going to be a long time before I think about it, if ever.

Trying to stay sane here.  Not easy.  

Love you all!!!!!!!

Hello Friends/Sisiters/Fellow Soldiers

Today is Memorial Day - a time set aside for remembering the sacrifices made by members of the armed forces.  I salute each one - living or dead - from the Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines, Coast Guard - and I thank them.  I also thank the families and friends who have supported the service members.

Today I also think of us as soldiers in the fight against breast cancer - remembering that for some of us the battlefield is behind us and we are moving on, yet others are still fighting actively.  I remember each of you and commemorate the sacrifices made.  A heartfelt gratitude goes out to the friends and family members who have been our supporters!

Love to you all,

Robin K

Sounds like everyone was busy - us too! 

Thinking of Roxi and Kerry this week!  (And Randie, always, Randie.)

Eddie - I don't even know what Adam wrote and it made me tear up.

Rock - I still haven't mailed it. (Lame-o!)

Otter - There is no such thing as a "too long" post from you.

Glad to hear that everyone who was traveling is home safe and safe travels to all traveling this week (sorry for the generic version, I'm on a new page).

Kids loved being off and can't wait for school to be over, but we still have 2 and a half weeks left, along with 2 dance recitals, a tenth birthday party complete with sleepover and a Kingergarten graduation!  Whew.  I'm tired already.

Hugs all around...

I love reading all the normal-life stories.  It is hard to believe how much has changed since a year ago.

We spent the past 10 days in Oklahoma visiting my dh's family, including his mom, my stepson, our daughter-in-law, and granddaughter.  (I posted some pics on FB.)

One of our venues was the Tulsa Zoo.  I didn't take very many pics there, but two were irresitible.

rock, this one is for you.  This penguin-keeper is obviously lecturing to the penguins.  I don't know the subject of her lecture, but the penguins appear to be as attentive as first-year college students on the last day of class. The penguins happen to be African penguins, which, according to my most reliable source (wikipedia), are from your area (http://web.uct.ac.za/depts/stats/adu/species/sp003_00.htm):

And I couldn't resist this.  These two weren't playing in the water--instead, they were curled up together, napping:

Playing and napping.  Sounds like a great life, eh?

otter 

Love the photos and the stories - sounds like everyone had a great memorial weekend. 

I just arrived home from Denver.  It was the worst 10k that I have ever run, but I ran it about as hard as I could.  So although I wish that I was running stronger, I was proud that I finished. 

Linda & Noelle, curious if you legs feel like lead when you run.  It has been that way for a few months.  I just found out I will be placed on medication for an inactive thyroid in my neck (appears to taken a hit in radiation).  That will start after surgery, wondering if that is the issue. 

Kerry & Roxi - thinking and praying for you both!  My surgery is next Monday and I am getting nervous / excited as well.

RanD - thinking of you!

Goodnight!

Jean

Rock, I've had a couple of 'moments' in the post-chemo-now-the-recovery period. The first was at the end-of-year art exhibition where a big group of my final year former students were exhibiting/partying. I was anxious and felt really self conscious/not good enough. I left just when things started to rock. I went home blindly angry and depressed and HATING cancer for destroying my self-assuredness. I will never forget how I felt..ME!! Miss can-do.  The second moment, or more a constant realization now, is how weak I am physically; I can't rely on my body.  Even today I went to go under a handrail at school and felt 100 years old. I almost could not stand up properly. But, as always, and with all y'all support, I have a plan and I'm going to turn this shit around when I recover from this next cut & shut (tomorrow). Jeano & Roxi, it's fantastic that we are doing this at the same time..a bit like sharing the dex-fuelled chemo-nights 12 months ago. But Otter, those pics made me s-o-o-o-o happy about normal life. I want to BE one of those otters! Rock..I love your grit. I love it even more when it is disguised by a hair-do from Salon Ridiculousness (the one we all frequent rofl!!) and any other fear-shaped costume. This, too, shall pass.     XXXX

Dear Kerry and Roxi:

I hope the surgeries are uneventful and that you heal in record time.

I hope you feel strong and confident. I hope you feel loved and safe. 

I am not church-y, but I still like Psalm 139.

1 O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.
3 You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, O LORD, You know it all.
5 You have enclosed me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot attain to it.
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,"
12 Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are alike to You.
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother's womb.
14 I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
16 Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.
17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.
When I awake, I am still with You.  

Good luck strong women of May.  Once again your strength will be tested and you will prevail.  We will all be with all of you.  Today was my chemoversary and I went to the dentist yesterday for a crown.  Too bad it isn't the special kind.  I could use that on my vacation.

The girls have 1.5 hours of school left.  One of Katie's classmates is in Washington DC for the Scripps National Spelling Bee.  How exciting is that?  It is nice to think mostly about regular stuff and to still share it here.

Love to you all - Julie

Okay, Cris? I read your post as "one rectal down..." and was like "Oh my gosh, is Cris having a colorectal scare?"  Though the way some recitals go....

Julie: "Chemoversary", sister. Chemoversary.

Rooting for all of us. love, rock

Morning Ladies!

Kerry-Hope that you heal quickly and with very little pain or discomfort!  Braver than I am.

Rock--As usual, you have wrote "the right thing at the right time"!  The Psalms was something that I needed at this moment.  

DD still here-not looking very hard for a job, but has an appointment with the housing authority for an apartment.  Guess she isn't too concerned about transportation.  I am beginning to think that she thinks that it will all just magically appear.  She has been talking to her ex some and I politely informed her that if she goes back, Kelli won't be going with her, I will file for emergency custody if necessary.  My granddaughter will not be put back into that environment.  DD knows that I am serious and says that she is only talking to him so she can get the rest of her stuff.  It really upsets Kelli when she talks to him.   DD doesn't like it because DH runs her off of his computer (she would stay on it 24/7)--can't get on mine because I have it password protected.  Xanax is my good friend!  

Still picking strawberries!   A friend of ours has an acre of them and we go over to help him-I pick just for the fun of it-good exercise and fresh air.  

Hope that everyone has a great day!!!!!

Missing you all!

The store basement/ storage room got flooded so this past few days has been hell. 

More later. 

I will be in the states next week. If anyone is desparate to have any prods shipped to them I can likely do it from there cheaper. 

Love you all! 

 N

"Twins" for the twins!

otter   

YAY for fridays! Kidlet has one more week of school left then summer break.

Anyone heard from roxi or kerry yet? Only a few more days for Jean!! :O)

Noelle~ that really sux about the basement, hope not too much was ruint.

Rock~ good luck with the driving lessons! When is it that you are returning to the states?

Gracie~ hopefully she gets her head on straight and gets it figured out. Sometimes you have to learn your own lessons.

XXOO

Good morning Ladies,

Good luck and speedy recovery Roxi and Kerry & Jean, you are all so brave. I just wouldn't have it in me to go there.

I've been kinda a silent partner as of late, just haven't felt real talkative.. But I  have been comforted sittin in the big comfy chair in the corner being in your company.   

Well, it's a beautiful day here, the birds are chirping, it's Friday , my cold is leaving,I have a nice big cup of coffee.... what more could a girl ask for ?    The kids are in the wind down at school, and summer holidays will be here before we know it. Have been planning our summer camping trip, feels good to be able to do this as it was a no go last year.  We think we will head up to Barkerville, up quite a ways north from us in BC. It's a historical mining town where a big part of the gold rush here took place. We've been before but it's great country and some awesome provincial campsites along the way. We've been camping in a tent trailer for the last 25 years, and finally my hubbie this year said maybe it's time we move up notch to a hardsided trailer.  I'm so excited. (obviously doesn't take much)    Even though we love the openess of the tent trailer it is a lot of work setting up and down, and we wouldn't have the worry of bears joining us for a nightcap as we do in some of the campsites.  This way we could make our way to Yellowstone and places like that.  So we are on the lookout for a gently used lite trailer ,   Know of any ?

Kristy I get where your coming from, sometimes it's just nice to do your own thing, with your own family and not have to expend the extra energy it takes to be upbeat and sociable when other people are around !  So you can gripe all you want.

Here's hoping everyone has a great weekend,

Cheers

A quick bounce in to say hello (extra hello to Eddie and Angels! -- I was just looking at some camping photos from 2007 last night!  Man, I can feel the campfire now...)

KristyAnn:  I SO FEEL YOUR PAIN, SISTER.  Feel free to express whatever thoughts or feelings you might have about the extra vacationers here, and there is no need to be mature or "above it all" as far as I'm concerned. (Then again, I am the most petulant and immature of our group. And I DO NOT LIKE SURPRISES IN THE FORM OF EXTRA PEOPLE.) I read your post and moaned "Oh brother...."

Okay. Perhaps I am over-identifying with your situation.  It's just that when you are happily imagining ONE kind of vacation and then get sucked into another kind entirely...  

PS Kristy, if you find the wherewithall to say to your family members, "People, I love you but I am really looking forward to some serious down/alone time this vacation so please understand if I'm not as social as I've been in past years." I will try to find a way to say . . . . ummm.... "I am glad you like your roommate but her presence kind of harshes the friendly supportive buzz of our happy little group so maybe in the future..."

To clarify: I am all about inclusiveness. and all NOT about cliques. There is another woman who just started to show up every week even though she was never really invited. But she is a nice person, a warm person, someone who cares about others and it is no stress at all to stretch a bit to include her. We have all been in a position at one time or another where we needed a friend. But this other woman . . . Dios mio. "Anything you can do, I can do better!" wears real thin real quick.