Please help

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling that way.  I think most of us have felt insecure about our future at one time or another.  I am three and a half years out and do not think of occurrance every minute of every day.  In fact, I hardly worry about it at all.  It no longer keeps me up at night.  I just go through stages every once in awhile where I wonder about an ache or pain.  I have found this only happens when I am really tired, sick, or stressed, but not very often.  No one in life is certain of their time on earth and I think we have to realize that we can't choose our time, just accept it when it arrives and don't be afraid.  I am just saying that because I wasted a lot of months after diagnosis worrying and had to find a way to rationalize it.  Your body has been through a lot and it will take a while longer to adjust to the mental and physical stress you have been through.  You will feel better after your body refreshes itself from all of the trauma.  When that happens, you will have a better outlook on things.  One thing that also helped me was celexa.  Once I began taking that, I didn't have so many physical and mental complaints.

Boy, do I relate to this! End of treatment anxiety isn't unusual.Although not everyone experiences this, many of us have. Welcome to the world of post traumatic stress!

Up until now, you've been concentrating on just getting through the treatment process. Once it's over, you have time to think and there's an adjustment to be made. You were seeing docs regularly during treatment then suddenly it's "see you in 3 or 6 months" and the jitters begin.

 The good news is that this won't last forever. You're still raw and on top of that your hormones are being whacked by Tamoxifen. This is when a kindred, supportive community is so helpful.

 I strongly encourage you to talk to your doc about the lack of sleep because I had this issue and being able to sleep is absolutely key to your sense of well being, not to mention your immune system .Once I had that issue tackled things began to improve.

 Are you in a walking group or any kind of exercise group?  The data is massive on how beneficial this is to recovery and regaining a sense of health. I really encourage you to try walking with a friend or a supportive group.You don't have to train for a triathelon, just try to get a routine going  for walking, swimming, biking or whatever works for you. It's counter intuitive but you'll actually gain more energy and increased activity can help with the hot flashes and sleep issues.

 There's a great book by Musa Mayer titled "After Breast Cancer" that's well worth reading. It covers lots of the issues we face when first out of treatment. It's not a large book and very easily read. You'll relate to many of the comments and scenarios in the book.

 Sweet dreams!