Starting Chemo February 2009?

Hi ladies, just wanted to pop in & say hello. I have TCH # SIX (and FINAL) this coming Friday. I've been dealing with Taxotere tears for over a month & it's driving me crazy. It's by far been my worst SE. My Onc sent me to an Opthamologist who tried to dilate the little drainage canals (in the corners of your eyes) & it didn't work, now they say I have to see an Occular Plastic Surgeon but I can't even get in until June 10th. Not sure it's worth it.

Anyway, I think of you all often just haven't been around much. I hope everyone is doing well & on the road to feeling better!

Is anyone else losing their eyebrows/lashes but still shaving their legs?? I know a couple of you mentioned this on facebook but not all of you are on it. So unfair!!! lol

OMG!!  Burning thighs??  This does not sound good.  And I have such a large surface area (Thunder Thighs), too.  I never even thought about burning thighs...geesh. 

I've given up on drawing in eyebrows...the woman at the LGFB class showed us how to use pencil and/or shadow to do it; I bought stencils; I've measured how to figure where they should be---does not work for me.  First, after I lost all my hair, I discovered that the entire left side of my face is lower than the right side; my left ear is bigger than my right; and apparently, my left eyebrow is not shaped like my right one.  No matter how hard I try, I can't get it to look "real," so no eyebrows until they grow back!!

Apple--Your eyes are beautiful!  Are you black Irish? 

Webbie!!  Glad to hear from you! 

Hope everyone has a good week ahead...I'm headed for Taxol #3 on Friday--am almost looking forward to it--the steroids are making my poor worn-out knee much better...Take care.  Helen

Forgot to mention that when I was in Brooklyn last weekend I went commando, wore no head cover at all. Since I wasn't at home and had no risk of anyone knowing me I thought I'd give it a try and see how it felt. Actually I didn't feel at all different. I went into Petco or one of those pet places and didn't notice people staring or acting differently. I walked around other places as well. It did feel liberating. I think I have about 750 hairs. I went boating yesterday on the Hudson River. There is this organization call Hope in the Boat where cancer survivors compete in races. It was pretty cool to be with all these cancer survivors. I felt like I was cheating being 4 days out from my last chemo. I was the only baldy there. FOX News was there and I actually was on TV for my 2 seconds of fame. I really relate to you guys talking about how hard we work and how the family just feels like we can do everything as we did before. This weekend I really worked hard in my garden and yard and in the house ( I have a guy coming in to do some construction work so there was lots of preparation for that.) I can't believe I get to the point of panting because I get out of breath so easily once I get my heartbeat up. It doesn't stop me but I sure have to take a lot more breaks. Tingling toes are an issue but I did walk about 4 miles today with my DD. I kept asking if we were there yet but I did manage to complete the walk. Well, back to work tomorrow after a lovely long break. So glad winter is well behind, I love May with it's long warm days. I don't know about you all but since I'm connected to this discussion board I find myself surprised that there aren't lots more people walking around with BC. Somehow the stats seems so high but when I think about it how come there aren't more people at work with it or just people I know. I guess that sounds bad and it's really a good thing there aren't more people dealing with this shit. I guess since it's such a big part of my life right now I'd expect it to be more pervasive. OK, done ranting. Hope all have a nice post-Memorial Day work week.

Suzanne - I think the same thing, that everyone in the world is dealing with BC too!! Guess we get immersed in the world of cancer.

I am getting sick of the wig too. Especially now chemo is done with. Cannot wait until I have enough hair to go topless. I am actually starting to wear a scarf around the house now, but still a wig when I am out and about. I wish I was brave enough to just walk around bald.... Mine is growing, it is just frustratingly slow. I still have leg hairs though, and some really really long eyebrow hairs that look so funny in an otherwise bald forehead....I won't pluck them though. Hair is hair! 

"Significant Thinning" - I love that!!

Michelle - my Onc said the Steroids were quite mood altering. You are also having them every week, I would say it could easily be the cause. And - I worry all the time too, I just try not to.

Judy -  my dad won't even mention the "C" word, or ask about treatment, anything. Even after I was diagnosed he refused to acknowledge it. He kept saying "we don't know for sure" when we did. He actually rang last night - the first time since my last Chemo. Didn't even really ask how things were, just a perfunctory "how are you" when I answered the phone, then talked for 10 minutes about his job and the weather. I think it is too much for him, he can't handle it. His dad died of cancer (lung) when he was a teenager so maybe that is why it is so hard for him. I don't know, quite frankly it pisses me off - I just know it isn't at all helpful, and I do feel let down. Sorry, anti-father rant there.

Anyhow, hope everyone has a good day. 

Sue - i saw some photos of you on the Hair forum - I can't believe how much you have already! Glad you are getting your life back. Just in time for summer.....

Susan don't you wish you could pick what hair stayed around ?? 

I managed to go out bike riding yesterday which was a blast but my legs where burning on the way home.  Yuck mouth is slowly leaving which I am grateful for but I started with an upset stomach this morning ,  It's always something these days.  I will be skipping exercise today because of the weather.  I hope it will clear up tomorrow.

Lisa, I've been thinking about going shrink-shopping too!  I've heard how difficult it is when chemo stops.  I know we all look forward to our LAST chemo.  But during chemo our lives are consumed with dr appts, caring nurses, chemo, side effects and their prevention.  It has taken over my life.  Then ieverything just stops after chemo.  I won't be having radiation, just Herceptin every 3 wks after my last chemo (next week). 

I read one therapist asked her client to draw 2 circles.  In the first circle she was to divide it up with what her life was like before chemo/diagnosis.  In the second circle she was to divide it up with what her life was like after she began chemo. 

When chemo is over we have to fill up those HUGE spaces cancer has consumed in our lives.  These days I find myself worrying more about recurrence.  Also, I feel like I'm so paranoid.  I think I notice one side of my stomach is bigger than the other side.  I imagine it's cancer, of course.  sigh.  Anyone else feeling like this??

Maybe I need a shrink.

Hey! Add me to the psych ward!!! Ya'll have heard how nuts I am about mets! Sheesh... the anxiety.

susan13 ~ This: >>Chemo-the gift that keeps on giving.>> made me literally LOL!

I still have no leg or underarm hair, so no shaving for me.  Yay!  That is one SE about which I will not complain.  The hair on my head is VERY slow-growing.  

I'll join y'all in the Scared Of Mets Psych Ward.  Today my onc said that he'd talk to my surgeon about taking out my port during the mastectomy if I wanted him to.  I laughed and said, "You're more optimistic than I am!"

Hugs to all,
Artemis

You guys make me feel soooooo good!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

We'll take over the ward, redecorate and have our families sneak in chocolates and margaritas!

Okay my day just went down hill.  They think my 2 kids have chicken poxes and my oncologist isn't calling me back fast enough so they are going to spend the night with a relative.   Grrrr....when they are gone my days are longer.......:(

The Ward:  Please, please save me a place.  I won't finish tx until the first of October, but I'll be ready to check in right after that.  I can just see us--chocolates, Denali tending bar, Nurse Ratchet dispensing Zoloft, Effexor, etc. 

Has anyone else had port problems?  Last month, mine flipped over--I already posted that event, but last Friday, the nurse couldn't flush mine prior to tx.  She could inject the saline, but couldn't get the return.  Two nurses later, and after lying flat, then on my left side, then right side, the last nurse said she thought that a flap of skin might have grown over the far end of my catheter (I'm sure there's a name for it) and that meant it couldn't be used for the tx.  Nurse injected something into the port to free the blockage and then said we could use a periphial vein for the procedure. However,  then she discovered the phlebotomist doing my lab work had used my arm (as usual), so it couldn't be used.  Decided to use a vein in my hand, which promptly "rolled" then "blew."  Finally she was able to insert into another hand vein and start the IVs.  Geesh.   About an hour later, the port was clear, but by then my tx was over half done, so just continued.   Can hardly wait to see if it happens again this Friday.  Anybody else have this??

Don't know about the rest of y'all, but I never could have imagined, just one short year ago, that I would be on such a bizarre adventure. 

Remember when "port" made you think of a wine or a cruise??????  Take care, Helen

I definately need a space in the mets psycho ward!  I try not to think of mets but I am such a realist that I know that this damm cancer can come back to haunt me years down the road.

Tomorrow is my last Taxol treatment.  Thankfully the morphine pills have eased the pain but that hasn't helped with the emotional pain.  I haven't seen a therapist yet but I am going to a local support group that meets twice a month.  We met tonight since yesterday was a holiday.  I love these women and they have so much information and support to offer each and every one of us.

I am on Zoloft but it hasn't been two weeks yet and I heard it takes at least 2 weeks for it to go into effect.  My sweet husband asked me to not take my steriods tonight until after the meeting at the church.  He knows that I am a totally different person on the steroids but that I really can't control myself as much as I would love to be able to.

Apple - you crack me up!  Love the "S" on the avatar pictures!  That was probably 3 pages back. 

I am so glad that I am not the only one here that worries about mets!

Whooo Jancie for getting to the last one.  I hope roid-rage isn't too bad this time. 

I didn't have to be seperated from my kids   My oncologist called me back and because I have already been exposed to the chicken pox virus I should be fine.  I also pinned him down while I had him on the phone and asked him about my echo and my pulse rate so it was another thing off my list.  What they are looking for is to make sure my ER doesn't further decline which is not expected.  Now I just need to make the darn appt. and find the slip for the appt. 

If there's margarita's in the ward, I'm comin!

Judy-I'm 10 wks out of chemo and my fingernails started to lift a few weeks ago. First they turned a funny color purple or something, now the purple has turned white.  I'm hoping the part that is still alive will grow and push out the dead part! OIE.

Jancie-Hip hip hoooray for you! That was a long road!!!!!

Sue