March 2009 Rads Group?

ROFL mfgibby!!!!!!

Hello ladies!  Sorry for the long delay in answering, I haven't been on! Just really pooped out after completion of Rads. 

bluedasher: Boy, I am glad I am done with Rads!  Those Kaiser ad's took on new meaning for me after my diagnosis!  "When I grow up I want to be an old woman...." is my mantra these days!!!!  Just keep putting my future out, you know what I mean! 

ReneeS: I know what you mean now about how people respond to radiation!  I look like I have 3rd degree burns, raw, blistered and oozing flesh.  Putting that Silver Sulfadiazine on it twice a day, which is yucky sticky!  Nothing like waking up to a wet sticky shirt to start one's day!  Ahhh, the joys, HA!

It REALLY is good to be done with Radiation, started exercising again.  I decided I want to start working at creating my life again, albeit a new different one!  Weightloss and exercise are on my horizon!

Hugs to all! 

 

May 6, 2009 08:32 am nelia48 wrote: Hi Nelia! For your friend who said "get over it!" I say in advance this must be the AI's (aromasin to be precise) talking mind you!  She should also have a good swift "boot kick", I cannot believe anyone would be that thoughtless and callous!  One of the Chemo nurses where I go was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, when I found out I gave her a big hug knowing what lay ahead for her.  Do you know what she said: "I had no idea what horrible things you guys go thu, .........This is the heardest thing I have EVER experienced!  I had no idea!" She sees this every day but there is a completely different reality when you go thru this, fatigue means something different, nausea - different, rad burns -different..... New understanding!

Nelia, don't listen to people like this friend, they are clueless (and in her case thoughtless!)  Hugs to you!

This is the night of my hair saving party.  Randy is our bald friend.  Many tears that night." mce_src="" alt="" border="" hspace="" vspace="" width="" height="" align="" />

No eye lashes but I can see a few eyebrows coming in.

Susie- sure is nice to see you again!  Yeah, I got back on the elliptical trainer, and trying to lose weight... I should be on there now actually ... that's wild about the chemo nurse. And sad.

Martha- I can't tell if my tiredness is some usual thing or radiation-related.  Its high allergy season and I am not having bad allergies, the weather is a bit warm but lovely, my sleep is a bit screwy but more in the usual way it always was screwy... and the kicker is that my kid is just as sleepy.  Today he slept until like 1030, and just chilled out in his crib.  I gave him uh.. brunch... and he went back to sleep for a nap until like 630!  Then I gave him dinner and sent him to bed at 9ish.  The kid is only 15 months old!  I think seeing your ex like that is emotionally draining- on any day.  But I can't even tell for myself so...?

nelia- i hadn't noticed but yes, my radiated boob is hotter especially on the boost area!  oh that is weird! 

catherine- i am trying to imagine what the deal is with dosing your cat... and how it could be worse than chemo?  yes... the weird insomnia...

renee- woohoo on the pics!!!! and I keep thinking... wow... she's a natural blonde... no roots!  

mary- yeah! same here on not knowing what the tiredness is about.  OK, getting on the trainer now... 

Does anyone here know if it is ok to get a tattoo on the radiated boob, or should I wait for the first mammogram? I did not go to my rads 2 week check up, so I could not ask my rads onc.

Hey Catherine, I think I got the link from you because I lost it too!

 

Jeanne D--I think the skin discoloration is normal and takes a while for it to go completely away.  I  think my rad nurse mentioned several months.  I equate the time it would take for a really strong summer tan line to fade.  Also consider you skin tone.  If you're normally pale, then it might take longer than someone whose skin in the area has previously been exposed to the sun.  And even though your last tx was 3 weeks ago, the affects of the radiation continue for 7-10 days afterwards.  As long as you are starting to see an improvement in the skin itself, then you're doing fine.  How have your energy levels been since your last tx?  I had my last of 5 boosts this last Friday, and the weekend has had me pooped. The rad nurse says that the 7-10 day rule also applies to energy levels as well.  Also, I was counseled to continue moisterizing 2ce a day for the next month.

Rachel...I'm pretty sure I got my link fom you.  

I had posted a link previously about a potential bill legislation and hosptial stays.  But your link was for a site that had other causes linked as well, like animal rescue.  In short, your link was much more useful and varied.

Okay, feeeling the ambien start to kick in and gardeners are coming early tomorrow to start tree clearance for our upcoming termite tenting.  Oh this year has afforded so many opportunites for glamorous living...yeah...right...

I hope everyone can find a momemt, public or private to pay some homage to our armed forces tomorrow, esecially the little guys who don't set the policy, but carry it out because of their faith in our nation.  Now more than ever, they need to be returned home, treated with the best medical care available and reassimilated back into society.  Just my 2 cents.

Catherine

Thanks for the reply Eadsla.  I will be 3 weeks done this Wednesday and I am still exhausted.  I can't seem to get my energy back yet.  I feel like I could sleep all day, but, when I lay down, I have trouble sleeping.  I see my radiation oncologist this Thursday...I will ask them when I can expect some energy to return.  I just am getting really down about this..tired of feeling tired. 

nelia, I have to get  you to come up to NYC so I can give you proper bitching lessons.  After all you went through already and already learned the lesson to stand up for yourself and BITCH... maybe you need to drive a taxi here for a shift to get used to the up-in-their-face stuff.

As much as I think the pains are probably nothing, I'd say call your onc or your GP, the GP that was so nice and said you should have called them before.

here's a tip: don't wait another 8 years, OK? 

repeat after me: I am not paranoid, my concerns are valid, I deserve attention

for crying out loud, it would be more strange if you DIDN'T feel like crap after all you have been through! 

Catherine, since I am on one of my UP days, even woke up early like I used to today, I have this probably resistable urge to pick on you, since you are just out of RADS and probably have the energy of say... a doorstop.  From the other thread where I was bitching at Jazzy to get in bed and stay there today, I said I'd sit on her, but then I saw your post and thought, probably better to put Catherine on Jazzy, like a paperweight.

Girl, you not only did chemo and have all that dental shit plus RADS (and not drinking water) you just gotta be a big old sandbag- and problems with your cat... the cat thing alone on a normal day for a normal person would be emotionally and physically draining.

Love how you say "make someone check it out".  That's right, that's exactly right. Nelia  MAKE SOMEONE CHECK IT OUT.  The part where we get used to the blood and pus makes us a bit dangerous.   

Jeez Nelia, you were the one who put that on the list for RADS patients.  Speak up!

Catherine, I like your onc.  Sounds like mine.  One thing at a time, let you sort out what's you and what's the drugs.  I have been a busy girl researching Tamoxifen, and also Zometa.  When you are ready, and if you want, lemme know and i will send.  It's all good news.

I can tell you are having the fatigue, I could tell from your posts.  Its a real challenge, and frustrating.  I thought it couldn't be radiation making me have like "radiation brain" because that's a chemo thing, but I have been reading more posts and yes, there is radiation brain.  Felt like I had to cut through thick cobwebs to remember anything, a word I wanted to use, someone's birthday, where I put my dinner... I wouldn't do a detox cleanse, then again I wouldn't do one anyway.  You gotta do what makes you comfy but my suggestion would be GOOF OFF!  Take a freakin break.  Curl up with the kitty (is the kitty with you?) and take back your TIME.  I'd be all peppy one day and the next day I couldn't move.  Yesterday I had all this great stuff planned and I just sat down on the bed for like 5 minutes... and 5 hours later I woke up.  Yesterday.  My last RADS were May 8.  You know already that the RADS delay is like 5 days, and we've done the scene where they killed off Spock every day for 6 weeks man... the changes in our boobs continue for months and years... not to mention the chemo ... hellooooooooo....

I'd say instead of cleansing your body and having to pee every other minute, I'd like to see you floating on a lotus leaf on a clear pond of warm water being showered with fragrant blossoms while shirtless buff men walk by the pond admiring you. Or a nap.  A nap is nice, you can dream about floating on a lotus leaf... you get the idea.

Oh for crying out loud, nelia thinks she's "paranoid" and you think you're "whining".  I'm going to poke you in your frikin booster spot if you don't snap out of it!  Sheesh.  Another thing I am feeling is the fog lifting, a fog of judgments, and misjudgments.  Just try to go easy on yourself, you are trying too hard to be better too soon too fast and beating yourself up for it.  I did the same.  You shoulda seen me at Da Silvano- you read Cancer Vixen, right?  The after RADS ended I dragged myself out for the bake sale, I only made it at like 3pm, it ended at 4pm, I thought I was going to be there from the beginning for set up... anyway, so I hustle to the fire station (she drew it int he book) across from Da Silvano and also to Da Silvano and its a humid day as well, plus of course I have the petrolum bandage and the bacitracin leeching out onto my dark t shirt, so I am sweaty and pale and sorta wild-eyed and have this dark blob of mystery goo coming out from my t shirt and I the first words out of my mouth to the elegant host are "I have breast cancer" and of course he thought I was a panhandler... so I was like... no, no, I dont want money I came to tell you abotu this bake sale, I am just a little out of it from the treatments, and he understood, because of her.  Remember how she was always trying to drag her ass out of bed to be there ... to be there.  A combination of not wanting to let cancer have one second more of your life than it already took plus mind fog and physical exhaustion and guilt because we think we haven't been keeping our commitments...

Just think Catherine... tomorrow you do not have to go to RADS.  You can do anything you want with your day.  And the next one too.  And the one after that.  You can look at your calendar now and actually make some plans.  If  you can just cut yourself some slack, relax and enjoy the recuperation, give your body a chance to heal and repair.

On the commitments... I just opened my birthday cards... from May 14.  And this weekend was my family reunion in Vermont.  Hell, i didn't even make it out to meet friends yesterday, I didn't get OUTSIDE yesterday or today and it was totally gorgeous, I didn't take my son outside.  I slept all of yesterday and today I spent doing 2 months of bills.  Tomorrow I will  go outside.  I am always thinking about how I only did lumpectomy and RADS and i am this wiped out, that's not even chemo.  It wont take you 6 months to recover.  But it will take longer than a weekend! 

No, you don't sound even a little pathetic, and it makes perfect sense to me that today feels like another day.  My son's 1st birthday, Passover (my favorite holiday, lots of family), Easter (very important to my step mom and her family) Mother's Day, my niece, my birthday, I could not give a shit about any of them.   I got the mammo on the anniversary of my mother's death and the cancer confirmed on her birthday, I saw my surgeon first time on my brother's birthday, had surgery on my sister's birthday, found out my margins were clear and the sentinel node was clear on Valentines day, heard about my FISH test results on my son's birthday- and none of those days meant anything but cancer shit.  Next year, they can all go back to being holidays and birthdays and days of remembrance.  Its like I fell asleep on January 25, the last day before the mammo, and I just woke up.  The only thing I battled to stay aware of was my son's progress in life, and i missed his first steps.  I saw his second steps though, and I took good care of his Mom too, so every day forward I can celebrate. 

And I celebrated every day before cancer too. 

What's UP with that?  I will tell you, its the frikin RADS baby.  Friday may 8 was last RADS and I was 10 feet tall, my doorman said I looked like a rock star.  Saturday I couldn't get out of bed for the bake sale until 3pm, I was good for about 3 hours but it was hard.  Sunday I felt like my whole body was made of sand bags.  I couldn't even type.  I made it out to a mother's day meal in time for coffee, it was about 4 blocks from here, I got there about 7 and was home by 8.  Monday I was out and about and shopping and Little Miss Energy.  Tuesday I could not wake up, that's the day my idiot friend (who is still not speaking to me) called me every 45 minutes until I told him to stop in what was left of my voice.  Wednesday I dont remember, Thursday was my birthday and I slept through that too. I had an appointment for my son this wednesday, we didn't make that either.

So no dear, you are not whining, pathetic or tragic.  You're just recovering from RADS and we all know exactly how you feel.  You are a slug.  A doorstop.  A paperweight. A sand bag.  Do something self indulgent.  Oh this is a GREAT time to hang otu with your cat!  My cat and i did so much napping together!  Poor cat, I haven't had the energy or time to play with him for months- and dont even ask about the litter box!

Hang in there Catherine... you will soon be your normal peppy self.  And as much as I don't wish you any more trouble I think it will be a hoot to do the Tamoxifen thing with you.  But... later. 

Thank you, all of you, for your kind words and I will see the doc about how I feel.  It hasn't gone away.  I do wonder about the side affects of the Arimidex, though.  The list is so long.  I'm not used to having anything wrong with me and never saw doctors before the BC thing.  So aches and pains are all new to me.  The Arimidex causes so many things, and I'm already dealing with the bone pain from it and the high BP, the mood swings, etc.  Since all of that is controllable, I thought I would stick it out for a while, as my oncologist said that the Arimidex would be my lifeline to survival through this.  The way he put it, I'm paranoid about missing a day!!!!!

 About the Tamoxofin:   I would really sit down with your dr. and discuss that since you are ER+.  Not an easy decision to make there. 

I liked the comparison to feeling like a sandbag!!!!!!  Aint that the ever livin' truth!!!!!

I think gals with radiation fatigue make great paperweights or doorstops.  If you get us during radiation or soon after you could use us as irons.

Hi all! As I have written, I am about 3 weeks out of 37 rad treatments. But, I still have some bruising and redness on my breast. Is this normal? And, my areola is still so pale. It did peel, so, maybe it is just the new skin? And, it will tan when I tan possibly next year? I see the radiation oncologist tomorrow, so, I will ask him. But, you all know more than the doctors do, in my opinion. Thanks! p.s. oh, and does anyone else still have pain?  I had my lumpectomy Jan. 26, 2009.  But, I still have pain.