March 2009 Rads Group?

Sorry for the split.  I seem to hit the wrong key and delete everything.

I suppose only those that suffer from depression will understand why I'm concerned but I would rather have chemo than go through depression. 

I also found out that 10% of people don't tolerate Tamoxifen, meaning your body doesn't respond to it.  There is a test I can take but insurance doesn't cover it.

Just venting.

Prozac is a CYP2D6 inhibitor, as is Paxil, Wellbutrin and Cardioquin.

Rachel......Very true about the writing thing.  My girl friends love it when I share gory details but DH is afraid I'm embarrassing myself.  He about died when I wrote a story about a dry vagina until everyone at the office told him it was the funniest thing they had heard in a long time.

You're also right about moving on to a Tamoxifen thread.  I just love this group and don't want us all to move on.  Let me know which one you're going to.

I feel better already regarding the anidepressants.  I'm already taking Effexor.

Jeanne.....My onco said the hormonal treatment is equally as important as chemo.  Let us know what you find out about not taking it.

I must have gone to bed early last night and missed all the activity here!!!!!  Shucks!   I think writing is a great idea.  In fact, that's why I started my blog.  I started it quite a while before the cancer diagnosis, but when that hit, I thought I would at least keep a record of my journey through this just in case I ever wanted to write a detailed book about it all.  I know that the whole thing is so long and drawn out and I wanted everything as accurate as it could be.  Now, I can just scroll back and read exactly what happened.  I think the success of a book depends on what angle you are coming from.  For instance, some of you who have all the mommie issues --- is there a book out there about breast cancer written from the mother's standpoint????  How about the marriage standpoint????  Then, there are all the emotional, spiritual issues, etc.  Then, I read a blog about how a breast cancer survivor was asked to speak at a medical school where a bunch of future doctors would be present.  She was to talk about what made a good dr. and a bad dr.  It was amazing how she described her feelings about that.

There is a website called www.lulu.com.  You can actually write a book, choose the type of cover and binding you want, etc., etc., the type of paper, add pictures, photos, etc.  It is all done digitally.  They give you a price for publishing 1 book.  Then, it's up to you to promote your book, and people order and pay for it through the lulu website and they are printed and sent out one at a time.  You set the price by how much you want to make over and above what this publisher wants.  Since I write a lot of poetry, people have been bugging me to publish a book. 

I haven't had to take anything for depression or emotions . . . . yet!!!!!  I was fine all the way through this, until the last few weeks.  I don't know if it is end thing with all its issues, or the tiredness from the radiation, but I seem to be in a funk.  I remember 6 weeks ago my oncologist told me with this HUGE smile on his fact that I was ok and to get on with my life!  I wanted to say, "What Life????"  LIFE seemed so long ago ------ last May.  Since then, most of my life either went on without me or changed or is nonexistant anymore.  I need to find a whole new life.  Since I'm single and don't have a husband or kids, those constants aren't there for me.  Friends either moved on, distanced themselves, or are awkward around me and I hate that.  So right now, I feel more lost than anything else.

The only thing I'm worrying about most is the ribs.  I'm glad I'm seeing the oncologist on Monday.  It seems to be getting worse and I'm wondering if I've broken some ribs.  It seems a little swollen and a little black and blue.  Anyone else having rib problems with radiation?

Purple Carol "Wouldn't it be nice if they would tell you friggin' everything upfront and provide handout material because you know we won't remember everything???"

Can I get an "amen" sister? 

Purple Carol " Now when they were doing the set up for my boosts, I did ask them if they were going to have to mark around the entire scar area and my preference would be for them not to do this.  Yippee...they listened and only did the two small marks.  I mean gee it's not like you can't see the darn scar from across the friggin' room to begin with, why would you need to draw a huge bulls eye on it???"

Genius.  We're doing all this crazy stuff with purple ink all over my shirts- wearing black every day now...  Eh, I got my surgical pen, I give up fighting.

Nelia- you remain the star out in front leading the way.  AND you didn't use any mood kind of drugs?  Holy Cow. I met and got closer to some people fighting cancer, and that's surely going to take up more of my time in the future.  My attitude is that cancer really pissed me off and you know by now how I fight back 

What i learned today (and hell yes, why don't they just have a handout and tell you this stuff up front, like even to get some bras you are willing to sacrifice....

the xylocaine has alcohol in it, so it will burn an open wound and it will dry it out so it will take longer to heal

anti inflammatories like ibuprophen should help because they reduce swelling and pain

I have these big vaselined antibiotic patches- they said to use them underboob, leave 'em on for like 12 hours to aid healing.  these kinds of burns actually heal better when they dont have air.

they really dislike the silver sulfadine for all the same reasons everyone here listed.  bottom line is always this game is about letting the skin under the burned skin mature enough so that when it's revealed it isn't still pink and young and raw and sensitive.

Last night I had an awesome night's sleep.  I did take a Xanax to shake off the Da Vinci Code-like mystery of the pain killers from the day, and I did accidentally stay up too late.  But I slept until like 1030!  And either my kid did too or else I slept through him waking???  I had little problem with blisters last night, I actually put one of my towels underboob with some cream to let it air out.  (My towels are organic and are washed in eco skin friendly soap yada yada).

Today was....:::drumroll::: last whole boob!  Tomorrow they flip me like a pancake and do all that stuff with the tracing.

 renee- got a link to the dry vagina story?  

oh and nelia, I like your blog very much.  I dont know much about poetry, but I read your blog when I first joined the group and I was blown away.

jeanneD- yes I absolutely considered it, that's what i was doing on that thread.  A woman there posted that she had decided not to and she was doing a special diet instead.  I PMed her for it and she was kind enough to send but... by the time she had sent it I had finished the thread and decided to try tamox at least because:

doc said I could take one, one day, and see how i felt.  

80% of women tolerate it well- why shouldn't I be one of them?

the gals on that thread- who again by their own word only post when they are having a problem- some said if they had a problem, they stopped and then waited 5 weeks and started again and had no problem

at least one of them posted that she not only felt fine, she LOST weight

one woman posted , she is stage IV, she took tamoxifen and all her tumors shrank and went away, she is now considered "NEC".  I had to look it up, it means "No Evidence of Cancer".  She of course LOVES tamoxifen. 

so... why borrow trouble I don't already have?  oh and one more thing, my last period was 10 frikin days.  TEN.  If this stuff works, that shouldn't be a problem.  It might also shrink my fibroids- stands to reason although I couldn't find any research on that, only that in post-menopausal women it might grow fibroids.  That's the next distinction, pre or post menopausal, which essentially means tamoxifen or aromatase inhibitors.  There was some talk of splitting the thread too, because the SEs are not at all consistent between Tamox and AI, although some people would have a reason to change from one side to the other.

There's also shots that shut down your ovaries, and there's also new beneficial evidence about another shot that is usually meant to strengthen your bones, it can greatly reduce the chance of recurrence yet again- plus its good for your bones.  All that made me think gee, Tamox may not be so bad after all.

My onc hasn't told me his views on the metabolizing test yet, but his phone-answerer said he'd order the test if I want to get it.

Did I already say my onc gave me a choice, I can see him in a couple weeks or I can see him next week, and then when RADS ends no more doctors for a while.  I opted for #2.  I see my onc after my last RADS a week from tomorrow.  (I feel like Annie singing, Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I'll start my boosts tomorrow).

I am hoping he will say I can wait til after summer to start Tamox, and that aside from the Tamox and 6 month screenings for mammo and uterine (thanks to Tamox), I'm done.  I swear, if he says that, i really dont think I am going to feel at all depressed!  

One more thing about the Tamox... I thought it was insane that no one had done a study on which day of the cycle a woman begins Tamox.  I thought it would be smart to begind Tamox at the part of the cycle where the body already is expecting a reduction of estrogen.  Seems a couple gals on that thread had the same idea.  The ones who did start it on or near their menses had problems, the typical bad period symptoms which are the side effects i fear, the emotionality, weight gain etc.  So I can only guess ... the ones who had the easiest times unfortunately also said they just took it whenever.  So my guess is that maybe the ones who took it "any day" were less likely to have taken it on their period, because women have a tendency to remember that timing more.  My extrapolation is that by taking it on a day one feels good, it maybe sort of freezes your metabolism at the point where you take it.  Feeling good might mean you freeze it at feeling good, the part of my cycle where I feel lightest, have the most energy, like a few days after my period ends.  That's all just my weird brain extrapolating from a lack of actual data, just anecdotal as they say.  So I will give that a whirl, hopefully in the  colder weather b/c everyone says the hot flashes are easier to tolerate in cold weather plus hot weather is a trigger for hot flashes.

And then of course I have been researching how best to handle hot flash symptoms... 

OncotypeDX 17, Lumpectomy 36D, Prone, 5 wks plus a week of boosts, BoIron Calendula + Organic Aloe Vera, swelling and redness

Dx 1/26/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

Rachel......The Dry Vagina part of the story......  

The one thing I know for sure is people with cancer don't want their loved ones to worry about them. So online discussion groups are a great place to learn and vent without overburdening anyone you're close to.

I now get a chuckle when people say to me "My grandma did chemo 3 years ago and she just breezed right through it." Of course she did, she was hairless, boobless and aerodynamic. She wouldn't even notice a 60 mile an hour breeze.

I know different. I chat with Grandmothers online. Do they really think that Grandma is going to burden them with a play by play of the lack of fluids in her body that cause her calluses to crack and bleed every time she walks across the room to manually change the channel or share with them how many little bottles of eye drops she had to use per week just to see through her bifocals. I can just see dear old Grandma telling her grandchildren all about her tear jerking constipation or the "I just couldn't make it to the bathroom" story and last but not least, all about the dry vagina."

I say, get your Granny on the phone I want to know how it really went.

"I'm here to tell you that there is no other pain like a crispy fried, radiated nipple on a cold day.  None."

 Renee--LOL and ouch at the same time.  Your blog is coming along well, and you demonstrate an innate ability to "set-up" with a surprise punch at the end.  That's no small feat comedically.

Rachel--that Presidential flyby...?  Man, did someone so screw the pooch on that one.  Even after a few days, my mind still reels with the thought of "What were they thinking?  A photo op?!?!?"  Jon Stewart said it best when he commented: "Hey guys, ever hear of Photoshop?"

Thank you so much for your comments on writing.  I feel a bit humbled by them and not nearly up to the task of verbalizing how great I think you and your words are.  Your husband?  Pardon my french, but QUEL GRAND PENIS!  No disrespect in the broader sense but seriously...what a douchebag.  Anyone who makes that sort of commentary to anyone about anything has got a lot of self-esteem issues of their own, if you ask me.  I've always been my own worst critic...but I've never been that hard on myself.  I hope that's no longer an influence around you.  It doesn't seem to be which is why I feel so comfortable calling this guy a douchebag.

Your thoughts will stay with me when I feel a bit more mentally engaged to think about writing.  I'm not even allowing myself to "go there" right now.  BTW, I think it's great that you write about autos.  Years ago, I was a "product specialist" for Infinity.  Well, that was the corporate euphemisn, but I was actually one of the people on the turntable at the autoshows...inundated with just enough product knowledge to understand the scripted material and know when to hand off questions to the local dealers.  I also enjoy Top Gear on BBC.  Do I get half of what they're talking about?  No.  And you certainly don't have to be an expert to make something interesting to others.  It's much more of a talent being an interesting person and being able to relate others.  And everyone here, especially you, is just that. 

Renee--didn't want to follow the first part of my post to you without a bit of a buffer between loving your nipple analogy and wanting to say that I was sad to hear about your not being able to continue with your prozac.  Jeez, really...when does this whole thing stop throwing these sucker punches at us? This is what is so hard to convey to friends and family who want us to tell them we're getting better.  Yeah, you get through chemo, your body rebounds...then there's radiation, which is physically less demanding and signals that you're beating the cancer...and everyone feels better knowing that on the big parts of cancer treatment, you're doing better.  But how do you possibly have someone understand when you hear that something that has been a staple of your life for so long is no longer available to you...and it's somethihg that helps you emotionally.  I hope that something else can be found to work as a successful substitute.

 I still haven't had the talk with my onc about tamoxifen.  Since I'm ER+, I'm assuming that I'll be on the 5 year protocol as well, but I don't know why my onc has never mentioned it to me.  So, if you all end up migrating to another board...lemme know.

Also, I signed up for the Vegas TaTa trip, and I'm hoping to be able to make it.  Right now I'm in a room with 3 other women that I don't know from any of the boards I've been on...and my sign-in name was really spelled badly, so I know the other women must be thinking  "Who in the hell is THAT?"  So if anyone here is thinking of going and needs a roomie...?  Just putting it out there.

Just another day of rads before the two day rest period this week.  Yay (clap clap)!

Catherine

Renee--I hear ya on wanting to keep things as close to the way they were before all of this.  Just as I thought I could wane myself off one thing, then something else had to be addressed...like having two teeth break(then go black) from chemo resulting in having two wisdom teeth pulled last week.  The I found out that the house I rent has to be tented for termites.  I'm able to put it off until after the rads, but sort of takes the joy of finishing rads when you know that you've got to clear out everything and displace yourself fro a couple of days.  Can we just get a break?  When the things that keep us grounded get yanked...it's too much to handle.  And it makes it all the easier to just tune it all out.  We already have that list of "it's bad enough  to have to "deal" with hair loss, chemicals flowing through you ALL the SEs, sleep issues chmopause, chemobrain, no energy pain of burned skin, LE, ports.  Yeah we all prepare for those "expected "SE...but then you get hit in the stomach with the prozac.  There's gotta be something else just as effective.  And hell yeah, if you and your daughter want to share a room, I'm all for it.  I have a niece who is also 25.  I would love to have her come out, but her life is crazy in Baltimore right now.  Let's look into it!

Goodness Gracious Great Boob of Fire... woke me again, but this time i don't care so much.  I know it's nearly over.  Took ibuprophen, re-slathered need to update my sig... Ha Catherine- like Pollo Loco... So I come here and start lauging...

 Oh and Catherine, that's not MY husband, I haven't one.  It was the husband of this couple I was visiting... another story there too... oh LOL I think I did the auto show route once when I was trying to be an actress... The thing and me car writing is more like the Idiots Guide to... I call it the "blonde version" and do installations that are Blonde-Proof and I organized car events, drives charity stuff, but the book was (and I hope still is at some point) about the cars of Frank Lloyd Wright.  

The presidential fly-by, well said, it makes me too angry to even speak about.  That and that they didn't adopt a shelter dog.

Renee, we already knew you were not a nut job.  Well, not more so than the rest of us 

On the Las Vegas Trip, I didn't follow the thread, in fact I haven't really found my way aroudn this board and only manage to find my way to this thread by keeping it open in a browser window all the time.  My browser finally crashed and I found my way back by recent posts I think...  So I haven't kept up with the thread plus I dont know if I can actually go with my then 20 month old kid...

Catherine, did you talk to your RAD onc before you did the dental work?  

Renee - that's really good - the aerodynamic grandma.

Rachel, the "shot" you heard about that strengthens your bones and may reduce cancer recurrence by about 30% is probably Zometa. It isn't really a shot. It is an IV infusion that they drip in over about 30 minutes. There are three bone strenghtening drugs in the same family - bisposphonates - that are being tested to see if they reduce breast cancer mets. That is the SWOG S0307 study that I'm in. The other two drugs are given in pill form - clodronate and ibandronate (Boniva). All the drugs are given at a higher frequency to prevent recurrence than they would be to just strengthen bones. The pills are taken daily for 3 years. The zometa infusion is once a month for 6 month and then once every 6 months for the rest of the 3 years. I'm in the clodronate arm. Women in the study are also suppose to take supplemental calcium and vitamin D so I'm taking 4 big pills (two Clodronate and two calcium/D) each day.

Clodronate has been shown in previous smaller studies to reduce recurrence so this study is now looking at all three drugs to see how their results in reducing recurrence and their side effects compare. To join the study, one has to be getting chemo or hormone therapy and be within 12 weeks of surgery or within 8 weeks of completing chemo so it is probably too late for most here to join.

Rachel, my rad nurse said that Aleve might be easier on the stomach than Ibuprophen and would still act as an anti-inflamatory.

When I was getting boosts, they told me not to worry about the marks wearing off over the weekend. Try not to let that bother you. 

I hear you about feeling bad about complaining when others have it worse. I feel that way too. But it hurts and interferes with sleep - it doesn't hurt as much as some other people's rads burns and I'm greatful for that, but it still hurts enough that I want to make it stop. Its not much of a problem for me during the day - but I want to be able to find a comfortable position to sleep in.

Stomach doesn't work - the radiated breast objects to the pressure.

Left side doesn't work - that puts pressure on the burned area under my arm and a bit on the breast too. 

Right side with a pillow between my left arm and body to keep pressure off the burn doesn't work - I've still got some soreness left shoulder from bursitis - the treatment of that was interuppted by discovering the breast cancer.  Maybe now I can get back to working on that.

Back almost works but I feel like I'm drowning from the Herceptin drippy nose and I've just never liked sleeping on my back. I think tonight I'll try the wedge pillow I used while recovering from the lumpectomy. 

I don't get any symptoms that I can identify as being due to the Clodronate or Calcium. Possibly a bit of a tendency toward diarrhea, though that might be normal fluctionation - my system sometimes runs that direction. My nose is a bit drippy but I haven't seen that on the list of side effects and I'm on Herceptin which can cause that so its probably due to the Herceptin.

I got my blood test because I've got a check-up with my medical onc Monday (because of the bisphosponate study and my Herceptin) and I'm disappointed to see that I'm anemic again - almost as low as my worst readings during chemo. The only lower red blood cell and hemoglobin results I had were the two times during chemo they decided I needed a transfusion. Rads can cause anemia and I was already slightly anemic when I started rads because of chemo.

Anemia is probably part of feeling tired during rads though I haven't been feeling tired. My body is so use to running with low red blood cells during the 4 months of chemo.

Rachel, oh hell, Rachel.  I am torn reading about what you're going through.  Torn becasue I feel for ya and wish you could have avoided all of it, but yet also so entertained and impressed at how effing LITERATE you are about it.  And don't you even think to censure or apologize for what you think is "whining."  You did that several times, and had I been in the room with you, I would have been tempted to smack you in the head (would have said boob, but that would have just been cruel).  Seriously, you're in pain and we have all seen pain.  We know where you're coming from and there is no threshold of experience that makes any of us here more or less deserving to vent what particular hell we're going through.

Truly, this is the one place where I almost get offended when one of us feels compelled to apologize for domething that is worth whining about.  I'm guilty there as well.  But it's also what makes this pace so great...the empathy.  In the "real world," it surprises me when I notice how often others bitch about things so inconsequential ad nauseum and yet feel entitled to do so.  Never a thought at how they must sound to others.  So...no more apologies, ya Great Boob of Fire! 

Your writing sounds great...but I'm not surprised by that.  You obviously have a great sensibility and POV.  The cars of Frank Lloyd Wright is also a great topic, and would already seem to be marketable to several audiences.  I could actually this as part of a series of books.  I'm glad you didn't lose your research.  Did you post a link to some of your articles?  Also, glad to hear that douchebag person wasn't your husband...but even more aghast that someone who wasn't even a relation had the gaul to say something like that to you.  Not that it's appropos either way, but somehow family usually is the source for such asinine inconsideration.  No doubt there's a story behind that couple!

LOL, there's so much I want to respond to that I have to keep scrolling up and down the page.  Rachel, have you tried using the "make this topic a favorite" function in the website?  I think at the top of each page, there is a box you can click to ame the forum one of "your favorites."  The  whenve you log onto the message boards from the sites mainpage, at the top you can access the forum and it throws you onto the last page you were on.  LOL when I think of you having to leave the browser open.  Listen to me, this is coming from the girl who couldn't figure out how to do a signature line or post an avatar on this site for about 5 months!

I'm not so sure I could handle not being able to sleep.  I've been on ambien cr for the past three months and it's the only way I can get at least 5 hours of sleep continuously.  Just last year, I could sleep for 11 hours and think nothing of...well, not nothing.  I love sleeping.  The next best thing to me is napping. (sigh)  Well, used to be...  Damn, I have to train myself to sleep on my back.  Right now, the only way I can fall asleep is on my side...yeah, the side being grilled, of course.  Usually I'll flip onto my back during the night for a bit, but usually end up back on the side.  Great, another fun project courtesy of bc.  I'll try to see it from the vanity angle as well: "How do I keep wrinkles at bay...?  Why, silly...  It's easy.  Sleeping on my back becasue the pain is too intense to sleep any other way because of having my breast radiated daily because of breast cancer!  (Ask your doctor, your resuts may vary...)"

Renee--I'd be happy to room with you and your daughter...I forgot if I had already posted that or not.  There are also some people from January Chemo group that are also just hearing of the trip as well.  We'll work something out.  My circumstances make the trip relatively easy for me.  If I had a child or lived across the country or was unable to get time off, or handle it financially, then this would have been one of those luxuries that I would have had to pass.  I'll probably spend most of the time planted in front of a slot machine or buffet.  Hmmm...That doesn't seem like the way to do Vegas, does it?   I'm sure I'll be more involving once we all get there as a group.

On the dental issues...yeah, I had both my onc and my rad onc clear me before having anything done.  My onc also made sure that I had bloodwork done and provided me with the lab results to give to my dentist before the teeth cleaning, and to the specialist who pulled my teeth.  Both entists were relieved and grateful to have the lab work since it saved them having to have it done, and also showed that I was good to go for the work itself.  I had my follow up with the specialist who looked at me where my wisdom teeth were on one side of my mouth and said that he gave it an "A."  Dental work was always the thing that I avoided if possible and feared.  Not anymore.  Having wisdom teeth pulled was such a walk in the park on every level compared to bc.  I sort of felt like Brenda Lee:  Is that all there is?

Blue...keep posting about your clinical trial involvement.  Once again, this was never mentioned to me by my onc.  My lat chemo was on March 6, so I'd be really pushing it to try to get in on the study.  Is your insurance covering it?  Did you pursue it yourself or was it presented to you by your onc?  Since I probably wouldn't make the cut off, timewise, perhaps I shouldn't dwell on why I wasn't doing it...but I am really curious to hear of your experience with it.  My onc still hasn't mentioned tamox to me yet.  My next follow-up with him is at the end of May which coincides with the last of my rads, so maybe then...?

 Okay, it's only about 7:45 and I'm already feeling a bit drowsy.  Gonna go grab something to eat and then hit the sack.  I'm going to send out some energy for all of us to get some decent rest this weekend.

Catherine

"it surprises me when I notice how often others bitch about things so inconsequential ad nauseum and yet feel entitled to do so"

Amen sister.  That's part of the perspective problem, socially separating. As previously said better than me now, here is a place where we can speak about things that are too uncomfy for our family and friends, and not said yet is how much these people need us to acknowledge what they are going through without cancer.  But it does gnash my teeth.  My gal pal who came over and is sooo impressed by me and all I am going through but she's depressed because business is bad and her 14 year old is having to go to a bad public school and she's having no problem with her husband except I think she was saying she didn't have much sex drive.  And you know what I wanted to say, right?  But I didn't.  I just said "Take it from me, as long as you have your health all things are possible."  But I don't mean to be dismissive either.  Another friend it was more fun.  He messaged me that he was having a really sh*tty day.  And I said I can probably beat that.  He said, yeah you probably can, and it's not fair because sometimes I [he] should  get to "win" in that contest.  So we negotiated terms and agreed to take the cancer part of my sh*tty day out of the criteria for the purpose of comparison to even the field for the contest.  And OK I have one more real kicker, not sure if I already threw this log on the fire but... my dad and his wife are 80 miles away and have a place also here in the city.  They decided to celebrate mother's day there instead of here even when I told them there was no way we could make it that far.  It's right after my last RADS and 4 days before my birthday and 5 days before they leave the country, her son and daughter are in from the Phillipines and could easily do the driving... and her daughter lives here as well, and every year I have schlepped in to pay my respects for mothers day...  ok, so it's hard to balance sometimes hearing from friends who have already tired of hearing anything cancer -related but have a need to have their problems validated- and also sometimes its really good to get caught up in their problems.  It's kind of like training to get back into "normal" life once we get freed from treatments.  Or do we get freed from treatments.  More frikin mystery.  Hey, I know I am posting weird crap and I am using the hydrocodone as an excuse.  

"No doubt there's a story behind that couple! "

Yessssss. Well since I already have my excuse... here's the story... on my very first car event, it was a 500 mile drive or maybe longer.  20 cars on the highway and 30 minutes into the drive, guess who's car gets hit.  Me, in my brand new (3 months old) sports car.  So it was a fender bender and I continued to drive with the group, everyone thought I was a hero.  I didn't think I was much of a hero or anything but I was a little shaky, and this man's wife offered to ride with me as a passenger until the next rest stop.  I can't remember what I was going on about, but in an effort to create a calming connection she offered up a story of her own about how she caught her husband sleeping wth her best friend.  ! ! !

Can you imagine the silence after that in my car?  I am trying to act cool like oh yes this is comparative and its not at all weird that in some minutes I am going to pull over and greet your husband as you get back into his car.  Suuuure.   It's why I can't tell you what I was ranting about, because once she said that believe me I wasn't thinking about my fender bender or anything...

So its my own fault that I ended up visiting this couple- actually it was because they recommended their body shop to fix the dent, and i was stopping by when I picked up my car- and should be less of a surprise that this prize of a husband opened his mouth and spoke those disparaging words.  But I have learned since.   I hope.

 "have you tried using the "make this topic a favorite" function in the website? "

Yep, see I was putting the check mark in there but I guess that's not enough because I got no favorite topics   I guess I should "submit" then?  but without posting a reply?  I will try it now. 

"Brenda Lee:  Is that all there is? "

HA! Was that Brenda Lee?  One of my favorite songs... funny.