Starting chemo January 2009?

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  • misty123
    misty123 Member Posts: 242
    edited April 2009

    Hi ladies,

    Just the mention of (people) wanting everything to go back to normal nearly brought on tears, my SO has been so supportive and I know that has been a blessing because some of us don't get that but I cringe every time I hear "you should be fine now that chemo is over" I still have drains hanging out of my armpits and stitches in both boobs that have yet to be removed but I should be fine since chemo is over. Even my son whom I love dearly(transplant boy) is crying because I cannot come and sit with him in the hospital everyday just to keep him company because he is bored of course, I am not physically or healthily enough to do such things but he dosen't seem to understand, as soon as I get there he wants to know how long I am staying and when I am there he wants to know when I am coming again, forget the fact that I don't need to pick up the hospital germs as my body is still open. I am also not allowed to drive yet, bad range of motions of arms and still on around the clock pain medications. I should be able to be mom of the year and sit in the hospital among all those germs and entertain my son then come home and entertain my SO because everyone has been so understanding about my BC. Did I mention I had emergency hemmroidectomy surgery 1 week after my last mastectomy on 4/9 because I had neglected my health so much because I was always at the doctors office or hospital with my son since he was so sick. I am just tired of feeling sick, yes I still feel sick after chemo and the additional surgeries and people not understanding that you don't just bounce back to being your old normal self, there is a new me who know I need to take care of myself in order to be around for awhile. I hate the guilt that I feel when I cannot do something others want or expect me to do but I am learning to say NO that dosen't work for me right now. Since I am triple neg, they don't know how you get it but stress seems to be in all the information I have received about this dx, being everyones caregiver and superwoman is a very stressful lifestyle, one I plan on giving up and taking better care of myself. I have noticed during my down time most of the people I am always there for have suddenly disappeared but my true friends have been a staying force. Thanks for listening to my rant.

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  • kt57
    kt57 Member Posts: 425
    edited April 2009

    Jess:  Know what you mean about transitioning - i have my initial radiation appt.  I'm sure they will be great, but it will be different from the crew that got me through chemo at the infusion center..  

    Renrel:  Hope you are better.

    Patti:  I admire your strength to travel again.  Squeeze that little one for all us Jewels. 

    Remember a while back I talked about fluid retention.  My weight was up at the time of my last chemo - I suspected in was fluid and sure enough, I went over to the infusion center on Friday and I was down 7 lbs in 8 days.  And now, at Day 13 after TC, I am puffying up again.  Might ask for a diuretic if it gets too bad....

    Hope you are all doing well today. 

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  • Renrel
    Renrel Member Posts: 497
    edited April 2009

    I am doing much better today. I spent most of the day shopping at Marshals.  All this weight gain had my pants feeling tight and I have not bought dress shoes or shorts in a couple of years, so there were things I needed and I just went a bit crazy. I spent over $600 on various things.  I need to sort through and return some of it.  But the fact that I was able to shop for a couple of hours and not feel like I was literally going to drop was amazing concidering how I felt on Saturday and early Sunday.  I even took DS to the park in the evening and managed to get a simple dinner put together. I am tired now  but it is more a normal tired from a long day,  more tired than I should be after what I did, but not a worn out, how am I going to go on tired and while if I look for it I can find that saddness somewhere inside me it is not ruling my thoughts and outlook.  The fact that I skipped lunch (after a good solid breakfast) makes this even more amazing.  But I need to get a snack before bed and get some sleep.  I need to get somethings done in the house before my parents come on Wednsday. 

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  • YearoftheHat
    YearoftheHat Member Posts: 243
    edited April 2009

    Wow ladies.  We have quite the interesting conversation going.  I just want to check in quickly before I head out to work.  I am definitely also feeling the pressure to get back to normal.  People around me don't want to expend any more time or energy on this.  Neither do I but I have to.  At work I really can do only one thing at a time and it takes a while to form thoughts and words even.  I feel especially mentally challenged....a far contrast from some of the healthy, young, energetic women who are helping us out right now.  I can't help but feel I am being compared, but I have been hard-working and so loyal in this place for a long time.  I know I deserve the same loyalty in return.   

    Just as soon as I ranted about baldness, I noticed a few longer hairs!!!!  And I noticed that the fuzz is growing a little!  It looks so weird but I am SOOOOO happy!  I'm so excited to know I'll have hair again!

    This is hard.  I'm not sure it is the hardest thing I've ever been through.  I suppose it is.  We do have to be easy on ourselves and give ourselves a big pat on the back for what we're doing and managing.  

    ddlatt - I am a podcast virgin.  Do I need an Ipod or just my computer? Will have to try later.

    Patti - I think it's hard to open our mouths sometimes or to know what to say.  I give you a lot of credit for trying to communicate with that person even if it didn't land where you would have liked.  I think it's OK to be open even if not everyone understands.  We are getting through the taxol!  Oh, another one down.  I hope you can take is easy in Texas and have a good time.    

    jrgolomb - Sorry you've been feeling the ups an downs.  I hope you can carve out that space for taking care of you.      

    BerkelyKim - glad to hear this round went a little better for you.  We are getting there!  I don't know about you but I am almost feeling desperate for the finish line.  That will be one very sweet moment.  I know we have more to face when chemo is done, but that doesn't make finishing any less jubilant!  I had the usual steroid rush Fri, stupor and drug induced sleep Saturday, more stupor Sunday and sort of functional on Monday.  I can't believe I am up on time for work today....no real aches yet but I can just tell something is going to make me cry today and I will bawl.

    Bye for now Jewels.  Happy Tuesday!

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  • Renrel
    Renrel Member Posts: 497
    edited April 2009

    I was just reading "Cancer has its Privileges" by Christine Clifford.  It has some very funny stories.  I just read one I loved.  I woman had just come home from her masactomy surgury.  Her dog found her prostethis in her bag, grabbed hold of it, and shook it till he was sure it was dead.  Her cat saw the drain dangling from her shirt and assumed she had and surgury to implant a permanent cat toy. 

     I also loved the story of the lady who put a post it on her breast with a note asking that before cutting her surgon take a moment to thank her breast.  It had after all sacraficed itself by containing the canser and saving the rest of her body.  What a wonderfully positive way to view things.  

    Just thought I would share a smile before I start my day. 

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  • PLUTZ
    PLUTZ Member Posts: 133
    edited April 2009

    Good morning  ladies. Had a lot of catching up to do on the blogs. The weekend was so nice, I didn't go on the computer. I've been feeling pretty good, except my legs bother me constantly. Did anyone else have that problem? They are very weak, so I have to take it slow when I go places.  My family wanted to go to the zoo on Sat., and all I could think of is I'm not going to be able to walk thru all that.I thought I would rent a wheelchair. When we got there,I managed to walk from the parking lot to the entrance, which is a good walk . My DH asked if I wanted a wheelchair and I said no, I'm going to try and walk. Well I did it! I was so proud of myself as was my family. We went out to lunch after and I'm actually able to taste some things. By the way, I wore a baseball cap all weekend. Didn't care, didn't notiice anyone looking at me either. I'm getting a little braver. I'm dreading Fri. for #2. Back to the decadron and neulasta. I hope its easier than #1.

    I'm sorry for all of you going thru some depression. I haven't been there yet. I'm sure I will when the time comes for my surgery which will be in June sometime.

    As for the hair and lashes, I seem to be growing a bit of hair and losing more lashes, especially the bottom ones. At least I can still wear eyeliner. My eyebrows have really thinned out too. Just hope I don't lose all of that. The good part is I'm glad to not shave for awhile.

    All of you ladies have a good week. I'll stay posted and let you know how #2 went.

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  • sweeeeetpam
    sweeeeetpam Member Posts: 115
    edited April 2009

    Hi Everyone

              just dropping by to say Hi!!! Some of you must be getting cloose to being done??? I am doing well except if I do to much the pain in my chest and arm hurts alot don't know if that is normal or not.

           Had my port out and that has been two weeks so that hurts still two............Maybe we just need to live with the pain for awhile??? any one else that is done still in pain escpically after I do something like vacuum!!!

            Need to run wish you all the best and lots of hugs to all of you who helped me get throught this!!  Love Sweeeeeet Pamela

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  • Renrel
    Renrel Member Posts: 497
    edited April 2009

    HI all.  I am doing so so today.  Energy level is good but I feel sort of depressed.  I think if I can get myself to clean the house a bit so there is less mess I will feel better.  I think just thinking about the things that need doing gets me down and makes it hard to do stuff.  If I just make myself do a bit I will feel better.  My parents are coming up tomorrow so I want to at least get the guest room vacumed and neat.  I also have all my wigs and hats in the  dresser in that room. Have to find someplace else for them for the week. 

    I wore my pink wig today (at the request of all the girls in DS's class, with my "Cancer Fears Me" baseball cap.  Would you believe only one person commented on it?  I did not even notice anyone looking at me.  I think one cashier was going to comment on the hair, then saw the cap, and said she loved my little shopping bag instead of my pink hair.  I could be wrong but there was nothing that special about my bag.  My eyes have been watering heavily all day.  I don't know if that is also making me feel sad or maybe the saddness is why my eyes are tearing.  Oh, my supermarket has this feature where your groceries go by conveyer belt to a place under the store where you drive through and pick them up (so you don't have to carry them down a set of stairs).  I drove off without my groceries and had to go back and get them.  Can you say "chemo brain." 

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  • BevR
    BevR Member Posts: 101
    edited April 2009

    Plutz,

    I have been bothered with weakness in my legs also. That is a symptom that hasn't gone away since my last (5th) TAC treatment. It has gone away after the others. I'm concerned about the next treatment (6th and LAST) on Thursday and how my SE will manifest themselves since I have been so weak from the last one.....I am having mixed feelings about being done with chemo. Isn't that strange? On the one hand it is great but the other feeling is the apprehension of dealing with the anxiety of moving into the next phase, which for me is Hormone therapy----then reconstruction later in the year.

    So far, the only person causing me anxiety about "moving on" is myself! I really want to enjoy my summer! At work, we go on 4 day work weeks for the summer so I'll have lots of three day weekends that I really want to enjoy.

    Don't know if I'll post again before the BIG DAY---Thursday, April 30---MY LAST TREATMENT!!!

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  • Renrel
    Renrel Member Posts: 497
    edited April 2009

    I also have weakness in my legs.  Mild exercise really seems to help. Strolling around my neigbhorhood, easy yoga stretchs, Gi Gong.  I may be tired right after but in general my body and energy level are better if I make myself do this kind of thing.

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  • YearoftheHat
    YearoftheHat Member Posts: 243
    edited April 2009

    BevR - Congratulations on your last treatment this week!  You'll have those nice three day weekends to get back to being your normal self! 

    Renrel - I hope you're able to enjoy your parents' visit.  I wish you were feeling better.  I definitely have my down days too.  On those days I always find it hard to answer that dreaded question, "How are you doing?"  That's a tough one for me to pull off unless I say simply that I am getting through it.  I loved the stories about the pets.  Both my cat and Chihuahua love to plant their front feet on my implants when I am lying down.  Haven't had much luck training them not to but I do gently move them down to my tummy when it happens.  

    PLUTZ - Glad you got out and enjoyed the zoo, on both feet!  My legs are functioning fine but feel quite tight and tough.  I am wearing compression hose at night which helps a lot.     

    Hi Pam!  I am still having chemo and still have my port in, but I have had chest tightness and pain since my mastectomies.  It happens after cleaning or vaccuuming or almost any long day of activity.  Even using a keyboard does it.  I drive a standard and also have pain after running around town, changing gears.   

    There is a lull at the office today.  You can tell how much I love my job when I am happy to leave on Fridays to have chemo!  LOL 

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  • Renrel
    Renrel Member Posts: 497
    edited April 2009

    A little earlier today, my head was playing a pity party song and I found myself yelling at myself in my head and I never yell at anyone. This second voice in my head was going off about how sick it was a listening to this pity party song.  I decided I needed to eat lunch had drink something and then clean up the mess in the kitchen. That would make me feel better.  Then I went to find some light reading while at ate.  I started reading a short story in a magazine about a mom who was not very good at many things but hugged and kissed her kids a hundred times a day and how this woman now realizes that those kisses got her through all the hard times in her life, letting her know she was loved and belonged.  I suddenly started crying.  I have not cryed since before I had surgury, to the best of my memory.  I only cryed for a minute or less, but it was a full out sobbing cry.  I feel a little bit better now.  I have a hard time owning any negative feelings, as you all may have noticed. Sometimes it is good, because seeing the positive side of things does help alot with life.  But I also know it is important to allow ourselves to feel everything.  I thought maybe canser would finally break down some of the walls my feelings hide behind.  Maybe it finally is. Both voices in my head were pretty negative ones and crying is not something that comes easily to me. So maybe today is a good day after all, even if I am feeling bad.  And there I go again, putting the positive swing on things.  Some habits are hard to break. 

    Love to all you wonderful Jewels.  So good to know that I can unload these feeling with some woman who "get it."  

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  • jrgolomb
    jrgolomb Member Posts: 1,236
    edited April 2009

    48 hours until my last chemo treatment!!!!!!  I am excited, nervous and wondering what is going to happen next.  I am scheduled to see the oncologist an hour and a half before treatment, so I am putting together my list of questions.  I want to be done, but I also what to weigh ALL my options-still from having the other breast gone to have rads.  There is a new gamma knife  option for chest wall-perhaps that is the route I shoudl go given I have one positive node.  I have decided to go as aggressively as possible. 

    I talked to my friend who has been with me throughout my chemo treatments and for some reason she had to tell me about women who were dying from breast cancer.  I was so surprised.  I asked her to stop after a while.  Perhaps it was her anxiety coming out about this horrible disease and she had to talk about it as a way to make it go away, but I just didn't want to hear about it. I am not stupid, or blind, or delusional;I just want to focus on living, on fighting, on searching for ways to find a cure for ALL of us.  My lord, YOU ALL KNow the fear , To me you are the only ones who understand what I mean. 

    BEVR---my last treatment day is Thursday!!!  Wooohoooooooo!!!!!! I start at 11am eastern time! 

     Renrel, Plutz and all ....my legs were really sore today and I just walked up and down stairs at work...Didn't run today cause of it.  Now I am three days out from exercise and I regret it.  Went home and ate instead.  Groan!

    HEY!?  Anyone considering going to Las Vegas in September??????There is a group gathering there . I believe Sept 25th.....IS that option for the January Jewels?????Gosh, we'd probably have hair!!!!!

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  • lisalisa
    lisalisa Member Posts: 824
    edited April 2009

    Hi Jewels,

    I'm here to ask you all a favor!  Can you please VOTE FOR ME?  I've entered a contest to be the L.A. Dodger's Honorary Bat Girl on Mother's day.  They are looking for a breast cancer survivor to do this!

    Can you please click on the link and vote for me?  You can only vote once per computer and votes close on May 1st.

     http://www.mlb.com/enterworkflow.do?flowId=contest.gallery&FORM_CODE=mlb_2009_komen_bgc&pageNo=4&action=currentWeek&sortOrder=NICKNAME2

    Click on the link, scroll down to find me, TRUE BLUE Lisa. 

    thank you so much!!!!

    Lisa

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  • lisalisa
    lisalisa Member Posts: 824
    edited April 2009

    Hi Jewels,

    I am here to ask a favor!  I entered a contest to be the LA Dodgers honorary bat girl on Mother's Day.  They are looking for a breast cancer survivor to be the bat girl.  So, I wrote a short essay and now I need votes!

    Can you please click on the link and vote for me?  you'll need to scroll down to find me, True Blue Lisa.  Thanks so much!

    DARN!  they won't allow the link.  You can go to my caring bridge and link from there if you have a second!  http://caringbridge.org/visit/lisamittleman

    You can only vote once per computer and voting ends on May 1st...so vote soon!

    Thanks!
    Lisa

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  • BerkeleyKim
    BerkeleyKim Member Posts: 390
    edited April 2009

    Lisa-You got my vote! My family in S.P are true blue Dodger fan(atics). Good luck!

    Jess and Bev-Your last treatments just around the corner!!! Hooray! Of course, keep us posted on how life gets better!

    Jess-We can say those things, but friends shouldn't. Geesh...

    Plutz-Glad you had a great day with family, and made it around on your own! Funny how the head hair starts to grow back as the eyelashes/brows keep falling out. I just want to keep a few for my mascara to hang onto! Hope your Friday treatment goes well, and hope for no SEs!

    SweetPam-Thanks for checking in--you sound great. I have some tenderness under my mastectomy area. Hope it's just part of the healing. Glad the port removal went well. I have no idea when mine is coming out, but I"m nervous!

    YearoftheHat-I'll be happy too when chemo is done, but I'm also alittle nervous! I'm just trying to have faith that the chemo has done it's job.Stupor is the right word for my Sundays!

    Well, getting kicked off computer. Hugs to all you beautiful Jewels!

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  • jillyG
    jillyG Member Posts: 401
    edited April 2009

    Lisa - I just voted for you and I will also vote from my other computer!  Good luck, I hope you winLaughing

    Jewels - I just wanted to check back and say hi, I haven't been on here in a while.  I thought I was doing well and starting to get on with my life a little and then a few days ago it hit me.  I have a pain in one of my ribs and it's been there a few days, I'm sure it's just a strain or something, but the other night I had a complete meltdown and told my husband I was sure it was cancer and that I was sure I was going to die.  It was awful, I had a full on panic attack and was crying for about an hour.  I think once I calmed down I also felt horrible because it was so upsetting to know I would be going through this the rest of my life.  I'm just so scared that I won't live a long life and I am worrying all the time about getting it again.   I think it's because treatment is done (I'm on Tamoxifen though) and I feel like I am on my own now and not been looked after as much.   I think I am having my own little post traumatic stress.  Now that I am feeling better it seems my thoughts are off  "getting through chemo" and they went straight to "I'm going to get cancer again".  I know it's not rational, but the fear is really taking over, maybe I should see a counsellor and try to see if they have ideas to get over the fear and get past all the pain and hurt from this past year.  Sorry to be a downer, you're the only ones that know what I am truly going through. 

    On a happier note, congrats to everyone ending treatment and here's to getting our hair and lives back!   I am so happy for everyone that is finishing up chemo.  Smile

    Jill

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  • jrgolomb
    jrgolomb Member Posts: 1,236
    edited April 2009

    I voted!  It was very easy.  YOU GO LISALISA!!!!!!!

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  • Renrel
    Renrel Member Posts: 497
    edited April 2009

    LisaLisa - I voted for you.  Great story and good luck!

    Jilly - Sorry for your Post Tramatic Stress.  From what I have read it is normal and it does get better with time.  My low mood lately is probably a precurser of what you are going through.  Appoaching the end of all this I am getting scared of returning to what will be our new normal, which is not what we had before all this appeared in our lives.

    My DH has me a bit crazy about Swine flu.  DS was at the park wresting face to face with a kid he met there (all in fun after rolling down a hill). The kids caretakers invited DS and DH to share in a pizza and they accepted. After dinner the other boy or his twin (DH is not sure which) threw up.  The caretakers had darker skin, as if they might be from Mexico or south America.  So DH is worried that maybe, just maybe, they were all in Mexico last week, the kid had Swin Flu, my son now is carrying Swine Flu and I am going to get Swine Flu. He has asked me to wear a face mask around our son as much as possible and almost posted signs in the park trying to contact the family to find out what is wrong with their son.  I am trying to wear a mask to be a bit more cautious and make him feel better, but it feels a bit extreme.  It is also making me more scared of dying but making so in my face.  

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  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited April 2009

    JillyG: had my own meltdown this past weekend.  My poor DH couldn't do anything right--not even breath.  Happened after my exchange, the reality of this is my new body--what the heck is this and who does it belong to--and just wanted it all to be a dream and the last several months to not have really happened.  Don't like my new reality.   Doing a little better now, but wanted you to know you're not alone.  

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  • BevR
    BevR Member Posts: 101
    edited April 2009

    Lisa---just voted! Good luck--

    As if we don't have enough to worry about, 3 confirmed cases of swine flu in Texas are in my town! The schools, day care centers, churches are all shut down----restaurants are empty! I went in a Walgreens this morning and the clerks were wiping everything down with disinfectant---

    My last treatment is tomorrow and I've managed not to get colds or anything "stray" this whole time-----why, why, why!?

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  • shockedat39
    shockedat39 Member Posts: 252
    edited April 2009

    Hey Jewels,

    Nearly 2 weeks since last tx and seems like the SEs are pretty much gone..yipee!!!

    Jeez Louise, BevR and JillyG!!!  Take very good care of yourselves.  Get the masks if you can!  I'd feel silly in it but it might be worth it!  It seems like it might be more dangerous to someone with low resistance on chemo. 

    Speaking of colds/flu/illnesses I was actually coming to post about that.  I have an awful cold.  While I feel a little better today, I'm wondering if this is something I should contact my Onc about seeing as I don't have to go back for treatment.  Not sure at this point what I'm still supposed to be concerned about.  I blame my lack of nose hair.  Everything just shoots right up there.

    Put me on the list of gals who are breaking down due post-chemo.  Sunday night was horrible.  I just couldn't get a hold of myself.  What sucks the most is that it used to be (pre-cancer) that having a breakdown made me feel better.  Now it just makes me feel weak and tired.  I think what bothers me is that I can do everything possible...chemo, rads, tamox, surgery, trials, diet, exercise...and in the end I really don't have any control over recurrence.  It could happen in spite of all that. 

    Cancer sucks.

    I hope every can have a decent day today.  Take care of yourselves!

    Diane

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  • lisalisa
    lisalisa Member Posts: 824
    edited April 2009

    Hi Jewels,

    I'm 2 weeks out from chemo and caught a cold.  I feel like its like school....you get sick after finals.  I get done with chemo and then have a runny nose and cough.  With no nose hairs, runny noses are runnier LOL!

    Tomorrow I go for my rads simulation and to get my teeth cleaned.  What was I thinking scheduling 2 awful things back to back!?!?!

    Jilly - sorry for your breakdown.  I'm still busy, moving on to rads, but I can see that happening to me too when I'm done being "busy". kwim?

    Renrel - the swine flu thing is scary!  especially when we now have a "condition" in our cancer that makes us more suseptible.  ugh!

    Bev - swine flu in your town!?!?! omg!  I'd stay home as much as possible after your last chemo!

    Shockedat39 - cold here too.  I contacted my oncologist and she thinks its viral. I don't have a fever.  do you?

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  • lisalisa
    lisalisa Member Posts: 824
    edited April 2009

    Meant to say THANKS to all who voted for me for the Dodger bat girl contest.  I've moved up to 4th place!!!!

    If anyone has a second, I'd LOVE your vote!  It's quick!  Go to http://caringbridge.org/visit/lisamittleman

    click on the link and vote for TRUE BLUE Lisa....NOT TRUE BLUE cancer girl.  Lots of people have accidentally voted for the other girl and she's in 2nd place.  ack!

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  • ddlatt
    ddlatt Member Posts: 448
    edited April 2009

    lisa - got my vote!

    my last friggin' chemo is this friday.  my local doc wanted to cancel it because the liver enzymes are up, but i called my UCSF doctor and he said he NEVER gives liver enzyme tests, that clinical trials have shown that chemo of course elevates the enzyme count, and told me to go ahead with my chemo. i'm furious because i've had to take six liver enzymes tests and went without chemo for three weeks because of the high counts, FOR NOTHING. 

    so, last chemo friday. last neulasta saturday. radiation mapping/simulation on monday, and then i want this show to get on the road and then END in early july!

    i've been feeling terrific, lots of energy, no problems except the horrible neuropathy from the taxol, but i take atarax twice a day and it helps tremendously. my hair is growing back really quickly, but eyelashes still gone, of course, and eyebrows thinning. 

    happy weekend to everyone!

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  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited April 2009

    Lisa, got my vote

    ddlatt:  uggh, can't believe you're getting tortured with the elevated liver enzymes again.  All my hopes and wishes are with you that you finish on Fri

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  • lisalisa
    lisalisa Member Posts: 824
    edited April 2009

    thanks for the votes Jewels!!!

    ddlatt - omg!   I'd be so mad!!!  glad you're back on track for your LAST chemo!!!!  let's hope its easier on you since you've had some recovery time. there must be some silver lining to all of this!!

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  • Alo123
    Alo123 Member Posts: 308
    edited April 2009

    I just cast my vote!!!  Go Lisa!!!

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  • Bev56
    Bev56 Member Posts: 33
    edited April 2009

      Lisa- I just read your story and cast my vote. You should win for the essay-It's great!

             GOOD LUCK!!

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  • jrgolomb
    jrgolomb Member Posts: 1,236
    edited April 2009

    Hello all.  Less than 24 hours from my LAST friggin CHEMO TX!!!!! 

    DDLATT! What a bummer.  I have had much longer last aches , especially when I exert energy-stairs or exercise.  I am going to ask about the atarax.  Your hair is growing back?  Yes!!!

    Good luck Lisalisa. 

    Hey Bev, how far is Hegins from Lancaster?  I go there every year for a family reunion.  This year I go July 18.....

    Jilly---I had a good cry last night , especially after we received a note about someone coming into Michigan with the H1N1 flue (swineFlue)  Now another one is a county away from where i work and I have been inundated with phone calls of concern about my exposure, especially in the next two or three weeks after my tx. 

    Renrel- Some of the people I work with are in  a bit of a frenzy with the flu problem. Some are mad and blame it on the media frenzy, I am at times concerned, but today I made all my students go wash their hands and told them to sing Happy Birthday Twice as they scrubbed.  They all look at me like I was nuts---they are high schoolers and consider themselves to be bullet proof and invincible.  Ah, I guess they are used to it, they've been disinfecting their hands the second they come in my room.  I will continue to do my best and keep everything really clean, but sometimes I just can't escape the "sitting duck" feeling-flu or no flu....Ya know what I mean?

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