Starting chemo January 2009?

YearoftheHat

Patti & Kim - We are getting there.  Yes, I am nearly done - just three more Fridays.  Chemo really isn't any fun, oh no.  It does feel like it has been going on forever and we are almost there!  I can't wait for my first weekend after no treatment!  It has to be better the last 8 I've had.  Everyone is planting here now.  I can't wait to work on my garden. 

Yeah!!!!!!  Hang in there!!

YearoftheHat

It's chemo brain I swear.

shocked - I wanted to say that I'm sorry your rads prep isn't going smoothly.  It sounds frustrating.  I hope they are able to keep it all under control and you'll be able to move forward without any more problems. 

eadsla

Lisa--I would be psyched to share a room with ya.  There are also some great gals on the march Rads group who might go as well.  One is briging her daughter, so we could do a four-share or or if you want to do the two per room thing, I'm good with that.  (ahem...let's just say that's it's been awhile since I had to share a bed with someone.  Also I'd probably be flying out of Burbank, while it's probably better for you from LAX, no?  We've got time to coordinate, yes?

Shocked--G-Dammit!  I'm so sorry to hear about this glitch.  But it's get taken care of...but still, UGH!  How frustrating.  You're in my thoughts!  You know, when I think of the things that used to frustrate me just a year ago, I feel like such the idiot.  I'm sure that once this last bit get resolved, this will be the last "test" you have to manage.  Hope so.

 Holt--Good luck with the new suit quest.  And you know, I wish all things were as easy as flip flop shopping.  Also, I think you could just do a search for Ta Ta and the forum should pop up.

Nancy--"Hot Box"?  Okay, I'm sort of laughing and rolling my eyes at that one.  There must be some other term for it...jeez, I'm almost grateful google didn't have it, but it doesn't help your research, does it?  Hopefully you'll only have it three more times at most.  Wow, you're almost done!  Also, just got the cleverness of your online name.  In my chemobrain, I kept thinking it was Year of the Cat, like the song.  Then I had that 3-way lightbulb moment.  You know it sucks when your mind won't allow you to appreciate the wit of others.

Have a great weekend, Jewels!!!!!

Catherine

ddlatt

had my last chemo today (taxol) and will have my last neulasta tomorrow. i had two reactions to the taxol today and they had to slow the drip to 25. took forever. i got out of there after almost 7 hours. i was very happy to take the 50mg orally, since the last time i had 50mg in the drip i had the worse burning in the vein and a horrible rash on my arm. i'm so happy my veins could support 8 IVs and what feels like hundreds of lab blood tests in the back of my hand over the last four months and i didn't need a port, which i had been really worried about. i wrote a long entry on my blog about why i'm glad cancer got me. i hated chemo, but i learned so much about myself and my friends and my family because of it. it really has shaken up my entire life and my perspective on life in a way that i'm so happy about. i don't think about the past or the future, don't worry about cancer recurrence, i am able to actually live in the moment, something i never did before. now i need to lose the 16 pounds i gained during chemo and get back down to 102, my ideal weight without breasts!

i have radiation mapping on monday, then will start radiation at the end of may, 36 treatments.

i am so grateful for our group and our interaction all these months. you have been a great source of comfort, support, and humor. i'm so glad  we have had each other.

for all the others who are nearing the finish line - congrats!!!! 

eadsla

ddlatt--Yay!  Congrats on your last chemo!!!!!!  You really made the most of that last infusion though, huh?  7 hours?  Yipes!  But why dwell on the past, right?  In the past!  Isn't that great?  I hoping your next few weeks are calm as far as SE's.  And you're right, there are some things you know would never have dawned on you had it not been for the cancer.

 Wow, you're a tiny one, aren't you?  I dont think I've been 102 since I was...gosh can't even remember when.

Catherine 

BerkeleyKim

Crud--just lost the longest post I've ever written (thank you steroid high). There must be  a reason..

Ddlatt--HOORAY. No more nasty reactions, no more tx delays. You've been through so much. And I love your attitude! It's definitely time to stop and smell the roses, which to me smell better than ever.

So, my long post was about how they tried to give me the placebo chemo after I already found out that I was getting placebo and not Avastin. Couldn't believe it. The research folks finally agreed it was my decision to not get sugar water or whaterever in my veins. My trial coord. was out of town, which is why she unblinded me before my last tx. I had a friend with me and we wanted to go to lunch---so of course I didn't want to sit an extra 45 min. for no good reason!

My guest onc once again asked if I could ask to be in the group who gets Avastin. I told him before no. And I'm really fine that I didn't get it in many ways, based on current reports. Then he asked if I'm tolerating the Taxotere. I'm doing Taxol x12 thank you. Of course it's hard to step in for my onc's patients. My friend who was with me is a disability lawyer and was pretty amazed by the confusions of today--usually less drama in the tx room. Onc did say that if I'm exposed to anyone who has swine flu that I should call and get anti-virals before I show symptoms. No side effects.

2 more txs-2 more weeks! I've been thinking about how to celebrate. Think I'll keep it low key in the chemo room. Today sat with the 7th woman who has had recurrence. Who knows who they'll put me with last tx, and these woman are in to the end. I have learned so much from them, especially to listen to your own body and don't take no for an answer. I think I'll wait to celebrate til the next day---there's a school dist party for special ed interns where I can invite some of my students, and I think I'd be up for that; then my Louisiana friend is having her annual crayfish feed. Too soon after tx for some wine and whiskey soaked bread pudding?  i think not...

So, I'm going to go back and read recent posts later. Hope all is well with my Jewels--thank you all so much for writing in and keeping me sane.

YearoftheHat

BerkelyKim - Please don't mind the late post.  I've just laid in bed for three hours or so and nothing happened.  I laid there, pet the cat and thought.  Not even a yawn.  I have only met one person with recurrence at chemo.  Hers is ovarian cancer.  I met her on my first visit and can't remember where it spread to. Anyway, I have felt for a long time that follow-up testing after treatment is critical.  I can see it will be a struggle with my current onc.  I have pretty much decided that once the chemo is done I am going to look for someone better.  This is not the time to be polite to a fault even if I do get some small town backlash. 

Who mentioned gamma knife?  jrgolomb, was that you?  I can only seem to find info about it relating to brain cancer.  As far as scans go, I just can't seem to buy the idea that there is no reliable way to test afterward.  DBF's mom has a spot on her colon and they have no clue what it is.  She has been battling her cancer for a few years now.  Many have looked at the images and all are baffled.  That's just nuts.  I don't know.  

At the same time, I don't want to be consumed by this.  I want to do my homework, and when it's done I want to put it away and live.  Just be as smart as I am able to about it then kind of let it go but letting go is scary!

jrgolomb

YUP---I am on the steroid fritz tonight.  It is 3:30 am here and I am wide awake. Sigh. 

Year of the Hat  Are you doing rads?  I am going in for a consult with a radiologist.  The oncologist and the nurses said the node showed just a trace of the cancer and so i am considered in the gray area for rads.  Studies have just come out leaning toward rads, hence convo with the radiologist.     THe gamma ray information was given to me by a friend, there is a new center in Ann Arbor ,Michigan which has indicated they can do chest wall rads or underarm rads-Of course the impeteus is behind the great progress the gamma ray has made on tx of lesions on the brain. The Bs and the oncologist both say I had clear margins, biggest mass was 1.5 and the node just a little bit......They are concerned I am asking for huge problems with lymphedema  and the benefits of the rads might not be as good as the other risks involved.  BUT they are hooking me up with the radiologist, because i want to talk about the benefits and the progress they've made with specifically targeting the spot and not damaging good tissue.

Next week I go to see the breast surgeon to press the issue of mast of the other "disease" free breast cause as I've been going on and on about before, I have  lcis and lobular cancer is notorious for showing up in the other breast as well.  I will still always have mris, because the mammo AND the ultrasound didn't pick up "shinikies".  (Can you tell I am around teens all day!!!??)

Berkeley Kim---Weee haaa!!!  Decadron high!  Whiskey soaked bread pudding. hmmmm...Just let me know what kind of tasty wine.  I do keep saying Michigan has some good stuff....We have a penninsula that has many wineries......If you go to VEGAS, I'll bring you a bottle!!!  Want to swap?????  

DDlatt--The last one has got to be a good feeling.  Sorry it took so long and I hope the SES aren't too bad.  I am going on two days out and already my nerve ends tingle and burn.  I of course had the neulasta shot and the aches are kicking in. 

What dates are the JJS starting rads?  If I do, I am guessing I will be in June?  I am not sure, I have been so focused on chemo I havent been able to consider that aspect of the tx and everyone on the C team poohpooed it till now. 

Okay, I am getting tired and so I will try to sleep again

later!

BerkeleyKim

Nancy Yrofhat--Hope you're asleep by now pst is about 1 am! Getting lots of mindless work done on one of my jobs, plus forgot late night tv could be so fun. Figure I'll try to get to sleep by 2! I do think that having met so many recurred woman in chemo plus all those I know personally is sort of skewing my perspective on the future. But I also know a couple node positive long-term survivors who are my inspiration. I think as I near the end of chemo I'm thinking even more about future steps to live long and prosper (and no I'm not a trekie, really...) Small town--sure you don't know my Aunt Helen, Cousins Patty and Micky, Aunt Tina, and Uncle John (ha ha). Hot box--hm...what you had doesn't sound pleasant. Congrats to your niece, and I just ate half a chocolate cake my husband bought for my daughters and friends who were carbo loading for a swim meet tomorrow (sadly at an outdoor pool in the freezing rain that's falling now and supposed to be worse tomorrow).

Holtbolt--At least your hair is grey! Mine is so white!!! and frizzy! (but just about 1/4 inch) Maybe it'll be like baby hair and fall out before the real stuff comes in. NOt complaining, though. So glad to have something up there...now if only  my eyelashes/brows would keep pace. Your vacation sounds so nice. I too need to look for a bathing suit that I can stuff a fake boob in. There's a link on the prosthesis board on how to make fake ones out of Walmart scrubbies/poofies. Looks complicated for a chemo brain like me.

Shocked--so sorry to hear of the radiation/recons. problems. How frustrating! I haven't had recon, but my other boob seems to be hanging lower (haven't been perky since nursing 3 kiddos).

Plutz--Congrats to your daughter. How great, proud mama!!! Hope you feel good this wkend.

Lisa-thanks for advice on Sim. I upped my appt so I won't miss my meeting. I'm really kinda nervous about the sim. Arm taped up?? Ouch.

Patti/Ladyjane-Hope you feel better and enjoy the rest of your trip.

Catherine--forgot to thank you about the thoughtful post on our feelings. I can relate and I haven't even finished chemo

Well--back to late night tv

ddlatt

thank you for the congrats!

 

jrgolomb: are you taking atarax (hydroxyzine) for the neuropathy? that saved my life during taxol. it makes you super sleepy at first, but my body got used to it and i was able to work while i was on it. it took the itching and tingling away completely. for the neulasta pain, i'm now taking percocet becase it has no acetaminophen in it (unlike the lortab/vicodin i was taking before), which is better for the liver enzymes. 

 

i have radiation mapping in two days, then will start radiation around may 18th. 

ktym

Year of the Hat: Decadron push did that to me too, big time.  They kept saying they'd push it slower and it would help, and it never did.  Very strange feeling, was happy it is short lived.

ddlat: congrats

Berkley Kim: I wouldn't have been pleased about an extra 45 min of known sugar water either.  Taking IV's out doesn't look that hard, if they had pressed the issue and it had been me I might have had to try it.  

YearoftheHat

ddlatt - congratulations on finighing up!  I hope the neulasta pains pass quickly and are manageable. 

Plutz - Hope you are feeling a little better, or a lot better!  Congratulations too to your daughter.  She sounds like a good hearted and well-rounded young woman on her way!   

jrgolomb - I have three doctors, a plastic surgeon, an oncologist and a breast surgeon.  I was assured up front that they all work together very closely.  So far, all I can glean is they've made some cusory exchanges of data.  I may need to figure out a better strategy in my communication, but with all three it seems they shun being asked very many questions. My breast surgeon particularly is a non-answer type.  She even said to me once that pathologists often harp on irrelevancies and kind of pooh-poohed my path reports.  OK.  To me, questions should start a useful discussion but all three try to wrap it up as quickly as possible.  I go into more depth and do better follow-up in my support staff job making students' college housing arrangements.  It seems my Doctors want to call the shots without my input.  I just need to try again. 

My cancer was in one breast and was multi-focal.  The largest tumor was just under 2 cm but I believe they found about ten very small others starting in the right breast, none in the left.  I did have both breasts removed since recurrence in the other breast with ILC is the norm.  With the masts there were clean margins.  Initially my onc told me rads were controversial with mutlifocal cancer and we should look into it.  My breast surgeon was unequivocal in her opinion that they are completely unneccessary with clean margins which I believe is 1 mm, but that seems like an awfully narrow margin to me.  Then, no discussion with me and suddenly my onc is saying no rads.  Frustrating.  My PS has said get them if you need them but thinks it's overkill in my case and said it does a pretty good job of ruining plastic surgery, if I care about that kind of thing.  I think the breast surgeon and the PS have seen these scenarios so often and they know my cancer is low grade, lowish stage, with microscopic amounts in 2 nodes and I did have a total mast, not much was left behind.  They just seem to think rads is overkill but I want to know more of my onc's opinion.  He tends to go aggressive which I appreciate, and I want to explore that option more. 

I will have MRIs too because of the implants so I need to know if they can check for chest wall cancer then. That is my greatest concern.  Spreading to remote parts of my body does not seem terribly likely now and does not worry me as much.  I will take Tamoxifen and my diet, sleep and maybe even exercise should be top-notch.  I think I should be OK there.  My thinking is, it spread to the nodes only very little, I am on this extensive chemo, but because it was multi focal, who knows if it jumped into some surrounding tissue.      

Today I can write my list of questions since I did sleep last night finally (Thank you God and Lunesta) but am still on my steroid high.  I'd love to get the docs all in a room together at the same time. Ha! 

I will also have reconstruction touch-up at the end of June.  I'd say my PS has his work cut out for him there.  The fboobs look OK until you look closely.  There is extra skin on both ends of my very long scars, quite big puffs of skin under the armpit that look awful.  There seems to be fluid retention ther and itchiness.  The scars go from the armpit all the way across the breast.  Was that really necessary?  The IMF hasn't formed any ptosis on one side and that scar sits much higher than the other.  Anyway, I am worried he'll do a quick and sloppy job but have already shopped around for a good PS and he's the best I could come up with.  I did meet about it with him a few weeks ago and we will consult again before touch-ups.  I think his knowledge and experience are good but his aesthetic might not be like mine and he seems to have a high tolerance for imperfection.  Ever get the feeling these doctos are bored with what they do?  Sometimes I think it would be easier to enguage them if there wasn't always a bored assistant witnessing the whole thing and looking like he/she has better things to do.      

I did find out yesterday that I will visit the onc every three months while I take Tamoxifen.

So, I have some things to consider.  I should know more soon. I just want to find out what the best treatments are and see if thye are at all available to me.  That is something I think I would travel for.  

So, it' Saturday and the birds are signing.  It had to do a few double take on the day.  My brain just barely working.  I hope that SE doesn't hang around for more than a few months after my last chemo.

Have a fun day Jewels.

 

kt57

HI Jewels:  POrt is coming out on Monday if my counts are good.  I start "extreme tanning" on Thursday - 3 weeks from my last chemo. (Kim, My simulation took about 1 hour).  Also got the results of my DXA scan-- mild osteopenia.  So my onc is recommending an AI and biophosphonate - and I may be able to be part of the biophosphonate trial, which I am happy about.   Dental exam is scheduled -- will talk more with my onc next week.

I came up with an idea to get through rads and say thank you to a bunch of people that have helped me.  I ordered two sets of Indian glass bangles (38 total).  Beginning Thursday, I am going to wear (if I can stand it) as many bangles as rad treatments.  After each one, I will remove one and send it to a supporter with a note explaining what it is and my thanks for their help.  Kinda goofy, but so am I sometimes...... 

Have a great weekend everyone.... 

BerkeleyKim

Jess-Just saw you were up til the wee hours. I finally went to bed at 3 and probably asleep after the cat scratched at my door to be let out. Our power went out with the storm so I have no idea if I got 3 or 4 hours sleep. Doesn't really matter when I'm still on a buzz!

kmmd--funny--yes, I felt like just running...They even barely want to un-iv me before I see a doctor at chemo! I promise them I won't run away, but I hate waiting after i'm all done.

KT--hour sounds good. Bumped my morning appt up earlier so that I can get to a later meeting. Did they tie your arm down too? Do they do a CT scan, and if so do they use a contrast?

Like the bead idea. I've been trying to figure out how to thank all my co-teachers, friends, neighbors who have stood by me and my family and given so much of themselves. I feel so grateful.

Jess & Nancy-sounds like you're being great advocates for yourselves re the radiation. Hard decisions, and it sounds like you're both in the very low grey area if at all. My decision is a no-brainer--tumor size, vascular invasion. Although my rad onc doesn't want to do the axilla area or the supraclavcle area. One of my nodes was very involved--1.5 cm, but at least contained.

I can relate to discussion of how to talk with drs. I feel like I have 5-10 min at most at tx time when I'm looped on benadryl. I try to make a list but feel intimidated. I am going to call the sec on  Monday to see if I can email my questions/concerns ahead of time. My onc is out of town, and he is very kind and thoughtful but very busy (yawns alot, disheveled professor look). I really feel like I want to vent at how long the whole process took initially--lump found 9-5, surgery not til 11-12, chemo 12-30. I think it's because they first only saw and felt a very small lump, and were of the mindset that there was nothing more and as they told me "these things tend to grow slowly." I wish I could stop going back there.

Well, rainy rainy day, and off to outdoor swim meet for DD and friends. Have a great weekend, Jewels.

kt57

Kim: They didn't tie my arm down.  They created this form that my head,shoulders and arms rest in.  It's like a bean bag you nestle down in and then they suck out all the air so the mold is made such that you lie in the same position every time.  Your arms are above your head.  No contrast for the CT. 

ddlatt

thank you so much for that very informative update, kt57. my mapping/simulation is tomorrow. had my very last neulasta today, so chemo treatment really is all behind me now. i can hardly believe it. i walked out of that chemo room almost in shock. i hope i never go back.

PLUTZ

good morning ladies. had #2 Fri. Everything is looking good. Had a chat with my ong. about changing my breast surgeon. am not comfortable with her. she has no compassion. I'm getting set up with a male surgeon who is supposed to be really good. I mentioned to my onc about bilateral mastectomy and she doesn't recommend it and she also said the breast surgeon won't recommend it only cuz I have inflammatory bc the chances were slim of it spreading to the other breast, so I don't know what I'm going to do. right now I'm in a daze. the decodron really got me this time. had 2 hours of sleep. tried to lay down again this morning but no luck so I'm going to do some laundry and maybe try to lay down later. I'm in no pain yet from the neulasta. I usually am by now. I also got a lower dosage of the taxotere. Maybe i won't be in so much pain this time. Oh, and by the way, only 2 more chemos for me! yeah! May 22, and June 12th I  will be done!

ddlatt-congrats on your last chemo. hope everything else works out well for you with no more problems.

everyone have a good week. I'll stay in touch.

jillyG

I am getting a mastectomy on my healthy breast sometime after November (appt with the PS in Nov).  I had my mastectomy on the left side in November and they will take the other one off doing a 'skin-sparing matectomy' and reconstruct both at the same time.  I am choosing to have the healthy one off so that they look the same when the other is reconstructed.  I've had 2 kids, so my breast doesn't exactly look like it did when I was 21 (whose does) so I want both to be the same.....so although my risk of cancer is low in the other breast I am still having it done for peace of mind and cosmetic purposes.  I know I am much stronger for going through this, this year, but I really don't think I have it in me to do it again, so I want the other breast off.  I love that saying "of course their fake, my real ones tried to kill me".  That's how I feel....just take em'.   

kt57

ddlatt:  Welcome to the "other side"!!  I was close to euphoric on Day 5 after my last chemo -- great to have it in the rearview mirror!    Good luck tomorrow   I found the whole consultation/simulation fascinating in a science minded kind of way.   I start "extreme tanning" on Thursday  - exactly three weeks after my last chemo. 

PLUTZ ; Have you tried ativan -- it helps settle down the steroid mania.   

jillyG: decison made.. you have to do what is right for you, what gives you peace of mind.  

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend.  

BerkeleyKim

KT57-I like the image of nestling down in a bean bag--sounds relaxing! Thanks.

Plutz--Glad the neulasta didn't hurt this time, and hope that continues. When do you need to make a decision about the other surgery? I had a left mast., and I'm thinking of having the other off too. Partly for fear of another breast cancer, but mostly because I'm large and although I don't mind the prosthesis, it feels like it affects my slighly LE arm. My shoulder is very tired by the end of the work day. Anyhow, I am going to wait til after the chemo leaves my body to think more about it. I'm too emotional now.  Good luck finding a surgeon you like and with your decision.

Jilly--Sounds like a plan! Do you think the recovery time will be the same for the second breast. I'm thinking less because they don't have to do the node sampling./dissection.

Hope everyone had a good weekend. As usual, I was in my fog with some body aches on Sunday. Sat was so great to watch my daughter swim. She did well in all heats and got top speed in JV breaststroke.

YearoftheHat

I write really long posts after steroids.  I'm glad to see people are still cheking in here. 

JillyG - Congratulations on your decision.  It is a hard one but I think it will give you peace.

PLutz - I hope you are feeling better.  I too am really out of it.  We are near the end but aren't there just yet and are still feeling it.  Isn't it great that the finish line is in sight?  Good luck in finding a surgen you like.  I hear you on that one.   

BerekylKim- That's great for your daughter and glad you enjoyed it so much.  I am excited for her.  I am in the fog as well.  I am sitting at home today trying to figure out how I will get out of bed tomorrow morning.       

ddlatt - You did it!  You make me really want to be done!  I see the image of you walking out of the chemo room and imagine it's me.  

ky57 - love the bead idea.  Congratulations on having your port out.  I hope you let us know what that's like.  I am thinking about those of you starting rads. 

jess - thanks for the info on the gamma knife.  I am glad they are starting to explore its usefulness.  It is an amazing technology.  I will do a little looking into it although I doubt I'm a candidate.

I have no energy and am really dizzy.  I am sitting here wondering what's wrong with me which is so silly, I'm having chemo for cryin' out loud.  

Have a great one Jewels.

ddlatt

had the radiation mapping/simulation today for tomotherapy radiation. it took less than half an hour. they gave me three tiny tattoos across my chest, put some plastic grids on my chest, ran me through the machine twice, and that was it. i start radiation on may 15 for 35 treatments. 

congrats to everyone finishing up chemo!!!!   

jrgolomb

Hi all.  I am having a slight fever right now and I ache, ache , ache.... Hope it will stop soon.  Thank goodness this is the last one.  Hugs and I 'll be back in touch when I feel better.

eadsla

Jess--Feel better...and just think, this is the last time you'll have to go through this!  Big hug to you as you get through it.

kt57

Jess, PLUTZ, Yearof theHat,   Hope you feel better soon .   Yes, the finish line is in sight!

ddlatt:  Did you see Lisa started a May Rads discussion board?

Well, my WBC was too low to get my port out today.  Kind of disappointing, but not surprizing as I am less than 3 weeks out from chemo.  Makes me a little nervous that it is at 2.6... can't imagine where I'd be if not for the neupogen --  probably hospitalized.   I am re-scheduled for May 22.  Guess I've lived with it this long, what's a few more weeks.   

YearoftheHat

It looks like May 22 is a big day for many of us.  It will be my LAST chemo!

BevR

Having a rough few days.....I've been flat of my back for two days in too much pain to move. I think it is better today. At least I feel like being out of bed. I'm so thankful to be done! Can't even think about doing this anymore......

PLUTZ

morning ladies. sorry some of you aren't feeling well today. I feel like crap. The bones hurt, my legs hurt, I have a headache. I'm dizzy. Got errands to run but I'll have to wait awhile. I really don't feel like passing out in the store. My onc. called yesterday, but I wasn't home. Left a message this morning. Hope she has some info for me about my surgery. I'll be waiting for her call sometime today.

yearofthehat-hope your feeling better. sounds like we we're going thru the same thing.

BevR-hope your feeling better too.

lisalisa

I'm so sorry so many of you are having hard times right now.    Just know that you're almost done.....my last 2 chemos were bad.  Today I'm 3 weeks out and feeling NORMAL.  yes!!!!

Normal enough to go out and do last minute stuff for my son's 10th b'day party.  Normal enough to plan to clean out/organize my closet today.  During chemo, I ended up just piling stuff up (so embarrassing) but I can't even walk in my walk-in-closet LOL!  Going to fix that TODAY!

Hope today is a good day for all the Jewels!

And, for those moving on to radiation, I started a May 2009 rads board!  Find us if you're doing rads!

Lisa

jillyG

Jewels, I need some positive thoughts......I am a wreck because about 2 weeks ago I noticed my ribs on the breast cancer side were hurting....well, it's kind of one rib in particular and it's sore.  It hasn't gone away.  I think about it all day long.  If a person had mets to the bone, what would that feel like?  Does it usually present with a "sore bone".  I'm sure it's nothing, maybe a pulled muscle, but of course I was 'sure it's nothing' when I got my biopsy and found out I had the big C.    I'm being way too paranoid so early on in this journey, but.......is this my new life?  Worried all the time?  I see my oncologist in 2 weeks for my first follow-up since starting Tamoxifen, so I'll make sure to tell him about it, if it still there.