Suddenly I have psychics in the family!

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  • Eldub
    Eldub Member Posts: 276
    edited April 2009

    You didn't have chemo?  So what you had wasn't really cancer...

    Yeah, I spent the last 5 months in doctor's offices and getting tests and second opinions and then having surgery and then recovering from surgery and then doing 33 radiation treatments and will be having my ovaries out and having quarterly followup tests on my breasts all to treat my "not really cancer!"

    Was I this clueless prior to dx???

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  • cherneski
    cherneski Member Posts: 726
    edited April 2009

    I have to say, if one more person tells me to just chop them off I just might end up in jail!  And why the heck would anyone suggest bc is the one to have? 

    People truely amaze me.

    Gotta keep laughing as the other option will end us in jail.  lol

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2009

    Robyn,

    I can totally relate!! to the disbelief which happens after hearing some of the dumbest comments possible. I have not told my sisters nor my mother and am not planning to because I know their responses would be just that. It's all about them! I would like to tell my one sis I am close with,but noone in my family can keep their mouth shut and it would inevitably leak out. I don't want to deal with their issues right now. I'm trying to take care of myself ;)

    I have told my daughter and her husband as well as an old boyfriend who is still a bestfriend to me. They have all been supportive.

    I'm glad you got through it and still have a sense of humor-it's very encouraging :)

    I'm not religious. But, if I were I'd say God Bless You. Oh heck, I'll say it anyway

    God Bless You!

    Cindy

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  • reen
    reen Member Posts: 164
    edited April 2009

    I had a doctor once tell me to go with the mastectomy.  He said, "It's not like you're Dolly Parton."  Needless to say he's no longer my doctor.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2009

    You little hooker you LOL Said in jest of course. My boyfriend you to say that to me. It made me laugh. Only he could get away with such a comment. I was diagnosed the day before you were. How are you holdin up?

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  • reen
    reen Member Posts: 164
    edited April 2009

    Cindy, I'm good.  Did you have chemo?  That was tough.  Radiation, not so bad.  I'm so opposite Dolly Parton, especially now having cancer twice, once in each breast.  Lumpectomies on both.

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  • lisa-e
    lisa-e Member Posts: 819
    edited April 2009

    All of the comebacks are funny, but the Onion piece had me ROFLMAO.  Ineia, thanks for posting the link to it!

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  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 6,099
    edited April 2009

    I read the essay in the Onion, and it was funny.  I get it.  All my relatives were like that.  (My friends were actually much better--a former student from one of my classes sent me a huge, gorgeous boquet once I was home.)  But the article also made me sad.

    Because the only gift I received while I was in the hospital for my mast/SNB was a mylar balloon.

    Okay, so I was only in the hospital for 30 hours, which didn't leave much opportunity for "gifting".  And I wasn't comfortable having everyone on this side of the planet knowing I had cancer, so I had asked my mom not to go around telling everybody until I knew what was ahead of me.  (She recently yelled at me, a whole year later:  "Don't you realize how that made me feel, when you said I couldn't tell anyone???")  She took me at my word. 

    That meant it was just my husband to help me through all this.  Bless his heart, he took one look around that spartan hospital room, realized the decor wasn't going to improve anytime soon, and headed for the nearest florist shop.  It was closed.  All he could find was a vendor selling mylar balloons, so he bought me one.  It was colorful and cheery, and it held air for almost 10 months before it finally caved in. 

    He was my rock--he stayed by my side; fixed all the meals; made midnight runs to the pharmacy; brought home all sorts of soft, cool treats to help during chemo.  He constantly told me, once chemo was over, "Your hair is growing like crazy!".  I love him.

    And there was that mylar balloon.

    otter 

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  • cherneski
    cherneski Member Posts: 726
    edited April 2009

    Otter, you just brought tears to my eyes (not hard to do lately).  I love what you said.  Thanks for the hope.  That balloon sounds like the best balloon on the planet. 

    Debi

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  • lisa-e
    lisa-e Member Posts: 819
    edited April 2009

    Otter, your husband sounds like a sweetheart!

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  • Sydney6
    Sydney6 Member Posts: 172
    edited April 2009

    Celtic_Spirit - Your post reminded me that about a week and 1/2  into my radiation they asked if this young guy learning could hang around.  I said O.K. but wasn't thrilled.  At 3 weeks they let him move the table and he wasn't very good at it which totally stressed me out.  The next day I asked if he could just stay out as I was uncomfortable with him there - he was only a few years older than my son.  I then found myself trying to explain to the main radiation guy.  I told him I like to just come in and get out as quickly as possible and pretend I don't have cancer.  He responded by telling me how lucky I was compared to the children who had just died in a plane crash.  Of course  I felt terrible that those kids died, but I thought the same thing you did.  How dare you minimize what I'm going through.  I don't think I walk around saying poor me but I am entitled to feel what I feel! 

    Best of luck to all you wonderful, supportive women!

    Sue

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  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited April 2009

    Sydney, I agree.  I remind myself of plane crashes, people  with worse cancers etc. to keep perspective.  However, when its a tool you use for yourself to keep perspective and keep from wallowing in it it is one thing.  When someone else does it to you it is them being patronizing and making judegments about how you should be feeling about things.  The "main guy" would have better spent his time helping the young man in training out with a few extra minutes of one on one time and helping him improve his skills rather then making it your problem.

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  • desdemona222b
    desdemona222b Member Posts: 776
    edited April 2009

    It's healthy to be able to laugh about this stuff, gals.  The Onion link was just hysterically funny.  Good to know that someone else realizes how ridiculous it is to send "Get well soon" greetings to someone with a chronic illness.  A nice, handwritten note saying "I hope you feel better soon and you are in my prayers" or something to that effect would be the more sensitive thing to do.

    This business of people saying things like, "You should be grateful you don't live in Darfur" - my God, what are they thinking?  Makes you feel like saying, "And YOU should be grateful I am restraining myself instead of clawing your eyes out of your head right now."  It's really bad when it comes from a professional in the field - complaints should be filed against such people, I think.

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  • living4today
    living4today Member Posts: 215
    edited April 2009

    Ok gals, you all sure know how to brighten someones day...still giggling over some of your stuff.  I am in the midst of chemo and had bilat w/expanders on xmas eve.  Just had to share what my coworker just said to me this morning, "I am jealous of you as you will have nice perky ones when you are all done"...I couldn't help but spout back, "I was happy with my original girls, thank you very much!" (she's the same one that told me the day before my mast--I always wanted to know it was like to be flat again)--yup--she's clueless...thanks again for the giggles

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  • janine007
    janine007 Member Posts: 11
    edited April 2009

    Glad I read this post, I have a long road ahead of me and I do need encouragement, but I can almost hear it now from the KNOW IT ALLS.  

    If anything, it keeps my dialogue in check when someone else makes it over their MOUNTAIN..

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  • cherneski
    cherneski Member Posts: 726
    edited May 2009
    Bump~ thought we could all use a little humor.  Smile
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  • koshka1
    koshka1 Member Posts: 678
    edited May 2009

    oh my!

    this is all so funny!

    i am glad i have all of you to keep me sane thru all of this!!!

    ya know which one drives me nuts....when you tell someone you had cancer....had surgery etc...and then they say "did they get it all?".....

    i am like....."ummmm...noo...no they didn't...they thot they would leave me some to spare".....

    geez......

    :)

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  • nzkav
    nzkav Member Posts: 7
    edited May 2009

    I think this is the best site, I feel normal.  Why can't we sit on the pity pot, and ask why me.  I heard all about the why them, stuff.  Was so relieved to read your post.  I laughed...

    Thank You.Wink

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  • cherneski
    cherneski Member Posts: 726
    edited May 2009

    I went out to dinner this weekend with my family, and I decided I would try some of the things I learned on this site and be assertive. 

    So I was talking to my dad about my newest thing that stinks and my sister pulls me aside, because the tears in my eyes must have bothered her.  So we go outside where she proceeds to tell me not to worry that I WILL BE ABLE TO DO RECON!  SHE KNOWS IT!  She is also the one that told me not to worry about the lymph nodes "because they will all be fine SHE KNOWS IT!".  ummmmmm 7 positive nodes the largest one was 2.5cm.  But anyway I told her kindly "Dee this is not helpful, please dont tell me everything is going to be fine.  Before I could get anything else out of my mouth she was practically screaming at me "well what do you want me to do tell you it isnt going to work, everything sxcks!".  I told her yep, that would be more helpful, to just sit with me, listen, let me cry and realize it socks and we dont know what is going to happen.  She wasnt happy with my "poor" attitude.

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