Suddenly I have psychics in the family!

Robyn66

Hi all,



Now that I am done with chemo and the future looks fairly rosy, not only are my beloved friends and family so glad its over and I can forget the whole "cancer thing" ever happened. Apparently they all KNEW I was going to be perfectly FINE RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING!!!



It is REALLY getting difficult not to BURST out LAUGHING (becuase the other choice will get me put in jail! )at these people who look at me with a straight face and bring forth priceless little gems like:



I always knew there was nothing to worry about.



Don't you feel silly about being so worried, I knew this was no big deal.



I knew that if it was anything it would be the easy to CURE kind of cancer.



Boy am I glad THAT's over. (a relative talking to ME!)



Anyway, I know we are all used to hearing people with stupid stuff to say. But just when you think you have heard the most stupid things- someone can always SURPRISE you!!!



Love to all! :x

Robyn

Estepp

ROBYN... were you reading my mind sister?

HANG TIGHT!

webwriter

Amen. I'm not even through the last CRASH from chemo yet and already it's begun. What, rads are no big deal? Hysterectomy/Ooph is no big deal? AI's for five years is no big deal? A bazillion scans for the rest of my life are no big deal?

Apparently not. I'm such a fighter, and kept such a positive attitude (HA! If they could only read here!), and if anybody was going to beat this it's me and NOW I HAVE!

CONGRATULATIONS, here's your life back. WE LOVE YOU! We KNEW you could beat this thing!

Wha?!?!?

Beats the funeral whine trying to drown it out from the other side of my family...but sheesh people!

Yeah. Ya gotta laugh. Who wants to sit in jail waiting for a PET scan result?

navygirl

OMG...Web...I almost spit my coffee on the computer screen! Sit in jail, HAHAHAHA...

People are just idiots, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

PT63

I agree with Web - the psychics beat the funeral whiners every day in my book.  But don't you just want to say some off the wall thing to them to jump-start their brains?

PT63

Robyn

If you want to get some giggles over some of the worst things people say.... Go to the Help me Get Through Treatment Forum.  There is a thread there about this topic.

ktym

I have a hard time deciding if the funeral whiners are worse.  I can ignore them because I think they're wrong, whereas these type of comments are like fingers down a chalk board to me.  I stick by the fact that "keep a positive attitude" and "its doable" are phrases that need to be outlawed.  That includes a stay behind bars for the Onc that told one woman here that the side effects from chemo are due to people's attitudes (some cortisol level baloney). 

That being said I may need to make more coffee this morning after losing some of the first cup laughing so hard while reading this thread. 

Jaimieh

testing

nelia48

I'm laughing, too!!!!!  What a great way to start my day!!!!  Isn't it funny that when this all started, they are ready to make funeral arrangements, have long, sad faces, talk to each other but not to me, etc.  Then, when it's over, it's exactly what you said.  I do have to be honest, though, and tell you that my sister walked with me through this whole thing, went to every chemo and dr. appointment with me, etc.  And she has said that she could never go through it all, knowing what I've been through.  At least she was honest about it!

cherneski

OMG you ladies make me laugh.  I spent the day yesterday with my sister Julie (wack job Julie is her new name) telling me she can help cure me.  My sister in law telling me why not just chop them off what do you care they are too big anyway.  I have to laugh because like you said the other choice will end me in jail. 

REKoz

I am just grateful that my ex has given me ample opportunities to learn how to avoid spending the rest of my life behind bars! Believe it or not, we get along so his words are not designed to hit a nerve. Just prime examples of how his cluelessness led to the demise of our 25 year marriage.

In an email he wrote responding to mine describing the rigors of chemotherapy and my declaration that should I have a reoccurance, I don't know that I could do it again he wrote:

"You seem to be worried about a reoccurance. Has the Dr. said anything different? I thought that they had gotten all the cancer and the chemotherapy is more precautionary then anything else."

And the KICKER....."I do recognize that this cancer has been a life-changing event, that you will need to be watched/tested for any symptoms of a relapse, and you will always have lingering worries about your health (don't we all), but I hope when the chemo is done your outlook for the future will brighten."

I would say that our "lingering worries" are exactly like any normal healthy person's wouldn't you all agree? Oh, what a long strange trip it's been!!!

Ellen

webwriter

 Just call me jailbait.

This gem from the long suffering DH last night:

I found a couple of old kleenex (runny eyes, thanx Taxotere!) in my sweater pocket. Laughingly, I recounted all the kleenex I used to find in the wash with my Gram and my Mom over the years. So I said, "Don't let me die with a wad of damp kleenex in my pocket, okay?

He says, "Die? What are you talking about? We were over the dangerous part of this when you had your last TX on Wednesday!"

Do ya'll think I'll look good in stripes?

otter

Oh, webbie, he's just overly sensitized.  You shocked him when you used that word, "die".

As for the contest between the funeral-whiners and the psychics...I say the funeral whiners are waaaay worse.  That horrible, syrupy, minor-key tone in their voices, that pitiful look they give us... It just turns my stomach.  I want to hit 'em upside the head.  (Webbie, is that a dual-occupancy jail cell?)

And in my situation, the funeral behavior comes from those closest to me (my dh excepted).  Those-who-shall-not-be-named seem to think pity is the only acceptable and appropriate response to a plight as dire as ours.  Anything less would mean they don't care.  That assumption gets reaffirmed every time I try to be strong and helpful when one of them has a problem.  Nope:  Gotta wail and moan and wring my hands and get all weepy for them instead.  "Yes, I agree--this is hopeless.  There is no way out of it.  None of it is under your control.  You have been victimized."  

Ahhhhh.  It feels good to get that out.

Those who urge me to "be positive" (which I usually am, in public), or who say something that implies I am cured now, despite the next 4 years of Arimidex, at least are thinking happy thoughts and assuming I'll get through this.  If I feel close enough to them, I'll admit my doubts and reveal my fears about a recurrence.  I might even cite some numbers.  (Gotta print one of those 15-year mortality curves for ER+ tumors, and have it handy for times like that.)  Sometimes my not-so-upbeat response brings silence or a dropped jaw.  Sometimes they'll argue with me before they decide to give up and concede the point.  But, even though those responses bother me, I don't find them nearly as discomforting as the funeral-parlor attitude.

Psychics?  They all think they're psychic.

otter 

aja1967

Hi Robyn, I'm relatively new to this just having been diagnosed with IDC, 2.3 and 1.9 on April 3 but the best comment I heard so far came from the owner of a wig shop.  I am going to need chemo after surgery and thought I would start looking for a nice wig right away.  After I told the store owner my situation with tears in my eyes as the diagnosis was pretty brand new at that point, she looked at me and said, "Oh you poor thing, you're going to lose all that beautiful blonde hair!"  She then proceeded to put every wig on me in the store that made me look like a hooker.  Me and my girlfriend never laughed so hard!  Humor is truly the best medicine! 

Amy 

Robyn66

Something else I find annoying is my "healthily endowed" friends telling me that "you can have some of mine" Like that's an option, I swear I feel like calling one of them up and saying

"Hey they just made this breakthrough doing breast transplants. you know how you offered me some of yours?  WELL OUR APPOINTMENT IS NEXT WEDNESDAY!"

I bet I would hear crickets on the other side of that phone call!!! LOL!!!!

Robyn

PT63

My mom offered to be a "fat donor".  She figured that she would be my closest donor match and offered to pull up a OR table next to mine so that she could get rid of her extra and get a tummy tuck and I could use natural tissue and not implants......truthfully it cracked me up but maybe it is just because it was my mom.

Gez052

You girls are so funny. But I have to agree, forced positivity is a scourge. It makes me want to hit people in the head when they say 'You have to keep positive'. Why is that I ask myself....particularly so when I was actually hoping for a little sympathy.  I reckon it is based on this terrible fear that it could be you next. How best to ward off 'evil', just jolly it along. This is my second bout of cancer and my father devastated me the first time round by saying 'oh well, we all have to die sometime'. Thanks Dad. Hmmm, maybe psychic reassurance is the go after all.

geraldine

cherneski

While over my gfs house the other day her husband came into the room and studdered a bit and said "sorry about your thing, your cancer", I said thank you yeah it sucks, he said "no it doesnt not yet", I asked why not, "because you haven't changed yet".  Ummm ok I told him yes I have my mind is Fu#ked and I will NEVER be the same, he told me "just wait".  What the hell does that mean?  Just wait?  Wait for what? 

I am thinking of making up a shirt of the top 10 things not to say to cancer patients.

Then on the back have the answers we want to give them.

Here are some of the things I found on this site so far to add to it.

#1 Oh you look so cute with short hair.

Back #1 next time a clump falls out I will put it in a zip lock bag for you.

#2 your wig looks so natural

back #2 Run before I take it off and throw it at you!

#3 Why dont you just chop them off?  They are so big anyway.

back #3 How bout we chop something off of you, lets start with a finger.

#4 You can have some of mine.

Back #4 Great there is a new donor program shall I make your appoinment for the same day as mine.  Hope you dont mind the scar.

Thats all I got so far anyone else care to add.

Sorry if I am offensive but the anger has taken control of me tonight.  I only mean good I swear.

ktym

Deborah:

#5: This will make you a better person

back #5: thanks, didn't realize I was such a lousy human being to begin with 

cherneski

I love it!  ok now we have #5!

We need #6

pickle

I love the top 5...

My SIL, who I love dearly, was at the hospital when I came out of my mastectomy surgery and she said "Isn't that amazing, a few hours ago you had cancer and now you don't" I know she meant well but......enuf said!

Someone else said (referring to a tram flap) "You mean you can get a tummy tuck at the same time you get new boobs....boy are you ever lucky"!...yeah we're real f'n lucky aren't we.

Looking forward to #6

ineia

Ladies, I am cracking up!!! I don;t know if you have seen this but here's a link to a very sarcastic piece at the onion:

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/i_was_going_to_succumb_to

Here's to more giggles!

Ineia

thegoodfight

Deborah,

Thanks for the laughs.......................it is amazing how people so close to us have no clue!  Okay, here's number 6 and I can't believe it isn't there yet:

#6  You have such a beautiful shaped head.

back #6  Yes, I keep it plump with all the info, appts, etc that I keep loading in.

Caren

REKoz

  

LOL infinity! I am LOVIN this list. Will spend the day laying in bed trying to come up with a good one! That will keep my head "plump" right?

Thanks for the laughs...I need em!

xoEllen

ktym

#7: What are you doing with all of your time off from work, do you plan on traveling?

back#7: yes, I've been traveling almost daily to doctor's visits and procedures, and the best trip was when I packed my suitcase for a stay in the hospital 

sushanna1

#8  Don't worry.  You caught it early.

back #8   No, I didn't.  Mammograms don't work for everyone. 

cherneski

I love it!  I have to say so far the one I hear the most is #8.  I want to scream at them!  FU.

thegoodfight

Oh can I relate to #8.  I will be 64 next month and have gone for mammos every year since age 40.   every year I heard the words I wanted to hear.................all clear, see ya next year.  Only problem is after a "normal" mammo in January '08 I found a very large mass on July 1st.  The BS said my cancer had been growing somewhere between 7 and 10 years..........WTF?   After an MRI two months later in August (had first lumpectomy July 22nd) followed by lumpectomy biopsy I as dx'd with a second cancer in another quandrant in the same breast.  BS said this one also probably there about 7 years.........................so what was this that everyone says about catching it early because I am stage 2A?  If the tumors were caught earlier by mammos then I guess I would be stage 0 and that sure sounds alot better!

Robyn66

How about this little cupcake! 

#9 When you get reconstruction do you have to stay the same size or can you "upgrade"?

Answer-Makes the whole cancer thing worth while doesn't it! 

Celtic_Spirit

If one more person says something like "You should be grateful you had breast cancer. You could be living in Darfur/have diabetes/have family members murdered/lose a leg in Iraq, etc.", I think I WILL end up in jail. Yes, I'm glad I don't have diabetes and none of my family members have been murdered. But I just finished up a solid year of grueling surgeries and treatments while being scared out of my mind. It was no walk in the park. Cancer is serious; it's not tennis elbow, for *&^% sake! And I get to spend the rest of my life wondering if it's going to come back. So, don't expect me to be "grateful" I had breast cancer. And just because someone else had a more tragic disease or experience, please don't minimize mine.

PT63

10:  If you are going to have cancer, breast cancer is the one to have...

Back 10: Yes this is exactly what I was praying for