Starting Chemo May 2008

Cris:  I am hormone positive. I've got the gene mutation. And I think I might hang onto my one remaining functional ovary for as long as I can. (Originally, I had intended to have the ovaries out.)  I will never have ZERO risk of getting cancer again.  Beyond that, I don't know how to think about risk. This is not to say "do/don't have your ovaries out."  It's just to say "the right decision is the one you can live with".  Which I know you already know because you were probably the person who taught me that!

I'm kind of in this phase of "I want to keep my body as much the same as possible for as long as possible..."  Well, kind of.  I am exercising and eating healthier and I swear, I might actually have some muscle tone showing in my arms for the first time since 1993.

I have Herceptin today.. oops! ran away for a sec... I have a new habit of burning oatmeal on the stove. Twice this week and almost a third...

I read everyday to keep up.... I am still sick, but incrementally better each day. 

The store is still very slow, but somehow I keep the mortgage paid and food on the table. 

Have a busy day, gotta run! 

 xoN

Hi Kristi:

I find out tomorrow 4/21 if I will be starting Chemo.  My oncologist had me get several tests including an 'onco-type'.  He has all the results and will go over them with me tomorrow.  He indicated on our first visit that I would be getting taxotere in combination with another drug that starts with a 'C'.  He also said to expect 4 treatments that were 3 weeks apart.  Sounds similar to you.

I have cut my hair short, but wonder if it is 'for sure' that I will loose my hair?  Any thoughts?  

Ready or not, here we come!

God bless you - Gina

Hi, Gina,

You've discovered the May 2008 chemo thread.  Most of us have already finished chemo.  So, I hope you won't be offended or upset if most of us decline your invitation to go along with you. 

We will be there with you in spirit, though, as we were with each other last year.

In the meantime, scout around on the Chemotherapy forum and I'm sure you'll find a thread dated May 2009 that includes women at the same stage as you are.

Hugs...

otter 

[P.S.:  You can tell from the avatars that most of us did lose all our hair.  Except for me, of course,  Mine is still soft, brown otter fur.  Heh heh.  Yeah, right.] 

Hi Gina,

Hang in there, it's scary when you first start with all the unknowns. . You'll find you have some bad days but you find a way to get through it.  Sorry to say you will more than likely loose the hair.  Mine started coming out around day fourteen, had a really sore scalp which was the indication of what was to come.  After you get through the first visit it's not so bad.

Kristy congrats on the last Herceptin. I know what you mean by the fatige in the arm and shoulder, I can feel it when i'm raking or using that side for something.

Rock any more crushing news ?

Gracie , Randie , Sue how you all feeling. Sue when you are up too it and ready to show off, maybe a little picture of the twins would be in order ? (edited to say with clothes on of course! I'm just not that kinda girl )

Noelle I hope you are feeling better.

I had my 1 year follow up with the surgeon yesterday. Everything went fine, i showed him a little bump of concern but he seemed to think it was nothing to worry about. But said for me to come back in 3 months instead of 6 so he can check it again. He such a nice guy, he says he takes anything a women that has had bc seriously and won't take any chances. Also said for me to check it every 3 weeks or so (not everyday like I have been ) and if there is any change to let him know.

I am on a road trip on Thursday to Victoria for our daughters jump rope provincials. A weekend filled with early mornings , no sleep and non stop action. I'm not sure if I'm ready for this. Keep looking in the mailbox hoping for some road trip music !

Cheers

What a great pic!

Gina, find your May 2009 girls and feel free to go back through our first few pages to see how we all fared in spring and summer of 08.You'll get through it, we all did!

This sicky is off to bed.

xoN 

Gina, my heart goes out to you. These first days/weeks are really TOUGH. But you will find your way, I know you will.

Love to all of you guys. I think I'm seeing this guy again tonight! (Fingers crossed.)

Hi, my name is Anji.  I, hopefully, (I can't believe I just said that) am starting Chemo in May.  I have my first appointment with an oncologist on May 6th.  I have a Muga scan that day too.  I found a lump in January, had a biopsy in February and right Mastectomy in March.  I looked for a May 2009 group and couldn't find one.  Can anyone help? Thank you.

Hi anji111,

I can understand you wanting to get started, I remember feeling that way too,  And once you get past the first chemo , it does get easier.

There is a site called " Any May 2009 chemo starters " in the Chemo thread. right now it's about half way down the page.   It's a great thing to have others at the same point you are to have as a sounding board and for support. I don't think any of us May o8 could of done it without each other.

Good luck with your journey and feel free to pick our brains if you need help , were here for you !

You can do this !

Anji,

If you looked for a May 2009 group and couldn't find one, you may need to start it!  You are of course welcome here, but most of us are done with chemo.  I hope everything goes well for you, and if you don't find a group, you are welcome to stay here--it just really helps if you are all going through it at the same time, the support and encouragement of this group literally got me through some of the toughest days of my life.   Chemo is doable, but it's definitely not fun.

Otter, Jean-great pic.  Haven't had the energy to post, just resting, healing, managing these four blasted drains....for the first time this morning I didn't have to wake dh to help me out of bed.  Noelle, rest. Jean, loving the cd, thanks.  Cris, I miss you.  Rock, good luck tonight!  ;O)  Sable, Jen, daulink, glad the hunny still has regularish work--it's going to get better.

Love all you guys.

Sue

Thank you all so much for responding.  Just reading through this website the last few weeks has been so helpful.  I hate to admit it but I really think I'm going to need the support when I'm going through it.  A lot of my 'best friends' are really not here for me at all.  I don't understand why and am too scared to ask.  Seems silly.  I'm starting to cry now so I think I'll stop.  Thanks again everyone, and I hope you all continue to do well.  It's nice seeing pictures of you.  Putting a face to a name.  I'm illiterate in that dept maybe I can get one of my kids to help me....

I keep forgetting to post this....a good bra to check out... Amoena "greta 2124" it has front AND back hooks so you can put it on either way. The front closure makes it oh so much easier to put on with a foob.

I'm about 1 1/2 hr from columbus. Think you might have a bit of time to spare to meet up??

I, EyesOTex, do solemnly swear with my right hand on this shovel, that I will not wait so long that I am 12 pages (that take me 3 days) behind, to get back to this site.

Noelle, I'm worried about you.  It seems like you have been sick a long time.  Is it because you're working and worrying too much?  I know you probably take a trillion (I know how much that is now) vitamins and such.

Anji and Gina, the others have said it all.  Many hugs and good wishes and prayers for you as you begin your journey.  The support of people who are in your shoes and truly understand your feelings is invaluable.

ROCK!  SPILL IT!

And everyone who has blogs, FB, websites, etc...How in the heck do I find you?  How do I get your snail mail addresses?

Randie, I was reading on another site about someone who'd had the pleurodiesis done who thought it wasn't bad.  I hope it will be that way for you.  Do you know when you will have it?  I don't remember what chemo your dr had suggested.  And I hope you are feeling ok today?  While having your own room in the ER is an honor and all...  (Oh, and your grandbaby is gorgeous; how many do you have?)

Jackie, I am so thankful everything turned out well for you; what a scare.  I hope your lilacs are still blooming.  I have never heard that at all about ports.  My first one was in for almost 2 years; it looks like this one will be in forever, and no one has ever mentioned coumadin, though I do get it flushed every 6-8 weeks when I'm not on chemo.  hmmmmm...  And Adrienne, you're on coumadin, too?

And Sue!!!  I can't believe I missed that you were having your recon!  Do I need to bring you some Blue Bell? (I don't cook much anymore)  Did they make you spend 3 days under a 102 degree blanket?  That was sooooooooooo sucky.  And coming in every hour to unwrap you and check the pulse in the new girls...thanks, I'd just gotten to sleep.  If I had been on the ball...there's a lady in Austin who makes hospital gowns for mastectomy pts that are great for that and recon.  They snap across the shoulders (good for IV) and have pockets inside to hold your drains (I had six drains and they held them all).  If anyone wants info on them I can look her up (she sells online) or go down to People's Pharmacy and get you one.  They are pretty pricey and I loaned mine to someone who didn't give them back, but they're good.  But I digress.  I'm so sorry you had such an emotional time before the surgery.  More on the feelings about scans and stuff later, but not on retirement, babies who grow up, or cousins who leave us too soon.  And you can't possibly know (really!) how impressed I am that your daughter-in-law Melissa loves you.

Otter (and Jean) what a great photo of two beautiful women who I love.  By the way, Otter, my hair, as it was after my first course of chemo, is thin, fine, AND STRAIGHT AND I AM MAD.  If anyone would like to trade their curls I'll buy your plane ticket.  I never figured out if or how you and DH got it together after the out-of-gas incident, but I hope you are ok now.  And with apologies to Rock

Otter

Got 'er

Hair cut.

See 'er strut.

Burma Shave

Kristy, you are so busy it makes me tired to read your posts!  And you got a haircut, too.  Hope your son's toes are ok (ouch!) and that you'll have an 8th grader...and that you'll be Herceptin free the next time we hear from you.  Big sigh of relief.

Cris, if I could get on FB I'd like to see the pics.  Sadly, my daughter's first haircut came not from herself, but when we found she had LICE from my son, who was in a play where everyone traded hats....yuck.  Next road trip should be us for real.  We could rent one of those buses....

Jen, the bugs were good protein, but I remain (as a professional klutz) profoundly impressed that you can do stilts...  It's going to be 80??? In Ohio?????

Mary, congrats again and I know you deserve it.  I remain in awe of all of you who manage to work through this h**l.  Maybe your daughter (I've forgotten her name) will be able to charge so much she'll make up (was that a pun?) her tuition.  How did your MUGA turn out, or did I just miss it?

Eddie, Adam's precious.  Can you send photos/links for the style show and makeover?  Glad to see you posting.

KERRY!  It's not the same without you.  But...I understand what you're feeling.  It's all ok.  And there was a brief little thing about "flatness"?  You may need to change your antidepressant, if you're on one.  I never knew what your actual job was, and I'm so profoundly pleased that your kids obviously love you more than your chooks do...way, way more.  You're such a...a...wonder.

Jean, how much longer will you be on the Prednisone and how is it affecting you?  Is it as bad as the Decadron?  I don't know about y'all, but nobody said anything about these types of SEs from radiation to me...  Oh, and if you found Rainbow Connection with Kermit or Over the Rainbow by IZ or probably any of the other sistahs' songs you've got me covered.

Julie, glad your dad is home and you're doing such an awesome job with the Girl Scouts.  That is such a worthwhile commitment, believe me.

Robin, are you finally digging out?  Missing your wonderful daughter?  I hope your stepdad is doing ok; that kind of attack is almost as appalling as Kerry's Callum with the brain tumor.  Increasingly, things do not make sense to me.

Karin...Karin.  What a beautiful post from a beautiful soul and beautiful person.  I'm sending you some hummers; they're already trying to eat me out of house and sugar.  Jeremy is so lucky.  I, for one, thank you for being the person who makes a difference in one person's life...and one other person's....and one other's...

Angels, have you gotten any warm weather yet?

Linda and Adrienne, hope all is well with you.

Wish I hadn't missed our Threadaverasary.  Had a metaversary Apr 17, my grandson's 2nd birthday...whoopdedoo.

On the subject that Kerry and Otter and others have mentioned about running out of resilience, having no reserves of emotional energy, and the uncertainty of tests and scans that batter us around emotionally, I'm going to try to cut and paste something written by BeachBabe on the Advanced Breast Cancer site and now on her own website.  I think that it applies not only to stage IV but to all of us who are now dealing with an uncertainty that we never expected to be dealing with, and the anxiety that accompanies it.  Only someone who has, or is, going through this will understand...

Hello My Loves~

As mentioned before, the statistics on Stage 4 metastasized breast cancer are grim-very grim. Still, I have reached a milestone which I think is a cause for celebration. The "average" patient diagnosed with what I've got lives for 18 months. Last week marked 18 months for me...which means with each day that goes by I am above average!!!!! 

I went to see my GP a few days ago (I check in every couple of months to let her see how I'm doing) and as she so eloquently put it, "I've got news for you: you're not dying, you're living." No kidding? Spent some time at the SYC Friday night with my loyal sidekick Pam.  We ran into a woman down there whom I adore...a true LADY in every sense of the word...someone I aspire to be like when I "grow up". And this woman said to me, "The thing that amazes me is every time I see you, you are smiling-and genuinely smiling." That's because when everyone sees me, I'm not wrestling alligators...let me explain...

Eighteen months ago I received the mind boggling news that I had been chosen to wrestle alligators. I have no formal training in wrestling alligators, had never studied the technique, and--let's face it--was often chosen last in gym when picking teams. Still, the telegram came and wrestling alligators it was. My life continued on the same course, except for periodically I would have to excuse myself from the norm, leave the room, and wrestle alligators. My friends and family are not allowed to come watch my matches, and I try to tell them about them, but the words are often hard to come by. Going for monthly IVs which render me on the sick couch is difficult. Going for scans every three months to monitor the beast is excruciating... and getting harder and harder each time. I cannot even begin to describe the fear and anxiety that accompanies a late-stage cancer diagnosis... yet, I continue to try. People look at me funny when I try to explain that I wrestle on the side...surely I must be joking...I look too good (too healthy) to be serious. I don't APPEAR as though I've just returned from a death defying match. Still, if you look a little closer, I am somewhat disheveled, move a little slower, and the sparkle is sometimes a bit duller than it used to be.

I try to remember with everyone I encounter, that we all have our alligators to wrestle.  My hope is that one day I'll be standing with my fellow Hot Cancer Babes at a huge yard sale...a yard sale jampacked  with alligator shoes, belts, handbags, boots, etc. Until that day, we will all continue to hold hands and get back out there in the ring.

"The more grateful I am, the more reasons I find to be grateful."

Be well, I love you~

Colleen

And I, my dears, love you all.  With hugs all around (sorry, Rock, didn't mean to get between you two),

dana