Suddenly I have psychics in the family!

Amen. I'm not even through the last CRASH from chemo yet and already it's begun. What, rads are no big deal? Hysterectomy/Ooph is no big deal? AI's for five years is no big deal? A bazillion scans for the rest of my life are no big deal?

Apparently not. I'm such a fighter, and kept such a positive attitude (HA! If they could only read here!), and if anybody was going to beat this it's me and NOW I HAVE!

CONGRATULATIONS, here's your life back. WE LOVE YOU! We KNEW you could beat this thing!

Wha?!?!?

Beats the funeral whine trying to drown it out from the other side of my family...but sheesh people!

Yeah. Ya gotta laugh. Who wants to sit in jail waiting for a PET scan result?

I agree with Web - the psychics beat the funeral whiners every day in my book.  But don't you just want to say some off the wall thing to them to jump-start their brains?

I have a hard time deciding if the funeral whiners are worse.  I can ignore them because I think they're wrong, whereas these type of comments are like fingers down a chalk board to me.  I stick by the fact that "keep a positive attitude" and "its doable" are phrases that need to be outlawed.  That includes a stay behind bars for the Onc that told one woman here that the side effects from chemo are due to people's attitudes (some cortisol level baloney). 

That being said I may need to make more coffee this morning after losing some of the first cup laughing so hard while reading this thread. 

I'm laughing, too!!!!!  What a great way to start my day!!!!  Isn't it funny that when this all started, they are ready to make funeral arrangements, have long, sad faces, talk to each other but not to me, etc.  Then, when it's over, it's exactly what you said.  I do have to be honest, though, and tell you that my sister walked with me through this whole thing, went to every chemo and dr. appointment with me, etc.  And she has said that she could never go through it all, knowing what I've been through.  At least she was honest about it!

I am just grateful that my ex has given me ample opportunities to learn how to avoid spending the rest of my life behind bars! Believe it or not, we get along so his words are not designed to hit a nerve. Just prime examples of how his cluelessness led to the demise of our 25 year marriage.

In an email he wrote responding to mine describing the rigors of chemotherapy and my declaration that should I have a reoccurance, I don't know that I could do it again he wrote:

"You seem to be worried about a reoccurance. Has the Dr. said anything different? I thought that they had gotten all the cancer and the chemotherapy is more precautionary then anything else."

And the KICKER....."I do recognize that this cancer has been a life-changing event, that you will need to be watched/tested for any symptoms of a relapse, and you will always have lingering worries about your health (don't we all), but I hope when the chemo is done your outlook for the future will brighten."

I would say that our "lingering worries" are exactly like any normal healthy person's wouldn't you all agree? Oh, what a long strange trip it's been!!!

Ellen

Oh, webbie, he's just overly sensitized.  You shocked him when you used that word, "die".

As for the contest between the funeral-whiners and the psychics...I say the funeral whiners are waaaay worse.  That horrible, syrupy, minor-key tone in their voices, that pitiful look they give us... It just turns my stomach.  I want to hit 'em upside the head.  (Webbie, is that a dual-occupancy jail cell?)

And in my situation, the funeral behavior comes from those closest to me (my dh excepted).  Those-who-shall-not-be-named seem to think pity is the only acceptable and appropriate response to a plight as dire as ours.  Anything less would mean they don't care.  That assumption gets reaffirmed every time I try to be strong and helpful when one of them has a problem.  Nope:  Gotta wail and moan and wring my hands and get all weepy for them instead.  "Yes, I agree--this is hopeless.  There is no way out of it.  None of it is under your control.  You have been victimized."  

Ahhhhh.  It feels good to get that out.

Those who urge me to "be positive" (which I usually am, in public), or who say something that implies I am cured now, despite the next 4 years of Arimidex, at least are thinking happy thoughts and assuming I'll get through this.  If I feel close enough to them, I'll admit my doubts and reveal my fears about a recurrence.  I might even cite some numbers.  (Gotta print one of those 15-year mortality curves for ER+ tumors, and have it handy for times like that.)  Sometimes my not-so-upbeat response brings silence or a dropped jaw.  Sometimes they'll argue with me before they decide to give up and concede the point.  But, even though those responses bother me, I don't find them nearly as discomforting as the funeral-parlor attitude.

Psychics?  They all think they're psychic.

otter 

You girls are so funny. But I have to agree, forced positivity is a scourge. It makes me want to hit people in the head when they say 'You have to keep positive'. Why is that I ask myself....particularly so when I was actually hoping for a little sympathy.  I reckon it is based on this terrible fear that it could be you next. How best to ward off 'evil', just jolly it along. This is my second bout of cancer and my father devastated me the first time round by saying 'oh well, we all have to die sometime'. Thanks Dad. Hmmm, maybe psychic reassurance is the go after all.

geraldine

Deborah:

#5: This will make you a better person

back #5: thanks, didn't realize I was such a lousy human being to begin with 

I love the top 5...

My SIL, who I love dearly, was at the hospital when I came out of my mastectomy surgery and she said "Isn't that amazing, a few hours ago you had cancer and now you don't" I know she meant well but......enuf said!

Someone else said (referring to a tram flap) "You mean you can get a tummy tuck at the same time you get new boobs....boy are you ever lucky"!...yeah we're real f'n lucky aren't we.

Looking forward to #6

Deborah,

Thanks for the laughs.......................it is amazing how people so close to us have no clue!  Okay, here's number 6 and I can't believe it isn't there yet:

#6  You have such a beautiful shaped head.

back #6  Yes, I keep it plump with all the info, appts, etc that I keep loading in.

Caren

#7: What are you doing with all of your time off from work, do you plan on traveling?

back#7: yes, I've been traveling almost daily to doctor's visits and procedures, and the best trip was when I packed my suitcase for a stay in the hospital 

I love it!  I have to say so far the one I hear the most is #8.  I want to scream at them!  FU.

10:  If you are going to have cancer, breast cancer is the one to have...

Back 10: Yes this is exactly what I was praying for