Starting Chemo April 2009
Comments
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Feel good this morning after my first chemo yestersday--it sounds like many of us had our chemo starting at 11:00am. I felt great immediately after the treatment which ended about 2:30pm and then I started feeling sick about 5:30pm so I took one compazine which worked okay. My nurse said to go ahead and take one lorazepam before bed which worked like a charm. I pretty much slept on and off yesterday after returning from treatment. I am taking advantage of my attitude and health right now. I will self-administer my nuelasta shot between 2:00 and 2:30pm--this will be a big accomplishment for me--however, I do have several nurses who live in my neigborhood if I chicken out. There is a thread on neulasta on this site and many folks recommend taking tylenol or aleve before and after the shot. In fact one person mentioned a clinical trail using advil. Check it out. We we get throught this ladies. Love ya.
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Today is my first day back at work.....and what a surprise walking in with the shaved head. I have actually gotten nothing but positive remarks. It was not as awkward as I thought it was going to be and it was super easy getting ready this morning! I highly recommend doing it. My husband and my two kids got together and they all took turns taking some off. It was a night I will always remember. Just sharing it with them made the whole thing so nice. I have bought a lot of scarves and hats, but as it has not really all fallen out yet, I figured I will rock the GI Jane thing for awhile. We wanted to do it together as my daughter will be out of town for two weeks. She did not want to come home and be shocked by it, so we just picked the night and did it. I really have to say it was the most empowering thing I have done and felt since this whole thing started. I hope others get to have the same wonderful family experience I had last night. My second tx is on April 22nd.
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So happy everyone is doing well so far, because my tx is tomorrow and I am not! I was in bed last night at 8:30pm ( and I am a night person ) because I felt so tired, sad and frightened. I dont want this to take anymore of my life, but I cant help it, its there. I am wondering if I am becoming depressed? I feel like I dont have the joy I once had. I am so SCARED of it all, that all I want to do is sleep and do nothing. My port was put in on Tuesday and today is Thursday and it is still sore. I know one of you said it takes a few days, but I am so tired of being in pain. First the mast with reconstruction which has been 7 wks, and I just started to feel back in the game so to speak, and now the port. I am now back to washing my hair in the sink and sleeping flat on my back ( which I hate ) because it hurts to bad to move in any other position. Boy, as I am typing this I really do sound like a Debbie Downer. I am sorry you guys, I know all of you are in the same boat, Iike I said I am just feeling so sad and scared. I know we are all going through this to have a LONG, HEALTHY AND HAPPY LIFE.
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Believe 1...I totally understand... I got my port on March 24, one month after my lymphectomy, and lumpectomy. (Plus the all the testing in between, scans, x-rays etc.,etc.) I remember the Sunday before I was to have my port installed I called my best friend and said, "If this was you would you do it?" I cried most of that day. You've already been through pain, still experiencing pain and now to do it all over again? I felt the same way as you...I was just starting to feel some comfort agin... Now I'm two weeks past port...still don't like the way it feels but it's not as painful. Had my first chemo a week ago. WE HAVE TO KEEP TELLING OURSELVES THIS IS ONLY FOR A TIME... it's so tough, but doable. I'll be praying for you, dear sister...I hope the tide soon changes for you.
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Well ladies, I am home! Had the first treatment this morning (finished in about 3 1/2 hrs, which was nice because it's a beautiful day). Took my Emend and the steroids this morning, put on my emla cream for the port (numbs the skin), and off I went. Lots of volunteers to go with me, but I am rather pig-headed and said I need to do this myself, and it was fine. I felt nothing during the infusions and am planning on a little sun on the deck and then a nap - my biggest responsibility is to take care of me!
Believe, just know that you are in the same place so many of us are - if you need to be sad for a day or two...do it! We are all sad, who ever wanted to go through this, but be gentle with yourself, and be a Debbie Downer...but only for a day or two, and then kick Debbie to the curb and fight - don't struggle (and there is a difference!)
Ikat - was not nearly the drama I had expected. Infusions were nothing - now, I wait with optimism that I will be fortunate with side effects. I go back tomorrow for Neulasta, back again on Thursday the 16th for blood work (start of the nadir or low point of blood counts) and back to the doctor on Monday the 20th - check blood counts again to see if they are coming up, then see him again on Thursday the 23rd to see if counts are acceptable to have next treatment on day 21, which would be Thursday 4/30. So, only 3 more A/C to go! Gotta find a way to spin this
.Hope your scans all went well. I will keep posting and let you all know how I'm doing as your pioneer, blazing the trail so to speak! BTW, I'm 60 and have always been a barely B woman, so the change is not so dramatic...now if only I had known that when I was 16 and sure that I would never have a boyfriend 'cause I wasn't a 38C - ha..now I'm back to stuffing things in my bra (who knew!)
Blessings to us all
Geri
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Hi all.... never thought I'd be a part of this subject, but I start my 1st of 8 treatments tomorrow. Very scared & nervous, but trying to remain positive.
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Hi Geri
I glad it all went so well, you give me hope. I have to ask why so many dr. visits?
Have to ask did you cut your hair? Not really sure what to do about that yet.
Scans went so so they took some additional x rays of my knee. I am really going to glow in the dark when this is over.
Enjoy your day of sun on and napping on the deck.
Kathy
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Believe1 - don't think you are losing your mind - I had the exact same thoughts and feelings on Sunday - the worst day for the SEs for me, and I lost it too - crying, didn't want to do this anymore, would take my chances on it coming back, so what, etc. I think it's because we've gone through so much in such a short time - for me, I never really fell apart after finding the lump in late January - we rushed to docs, had tests, biopisies, surgeries, and now have to go through the worst possible treatments to make sure we're okay. The only other day I really really fell apart was the day we confirmed I needed chemo with the onc, and I cut all of my hair off. I cried all day. But, Sunday, I was very depressed and down and did not want to go through any of this any more. It's okay to feel that way - we will have very up and down days. Today was my bloodwork day, first one after my first treatment last Thursday. I wore my "Save The TaTas" t-shirt proudly and did some "me" time first - went to our quaint downtown area, had a delicious lunch that I could actually savor and taste at the health food store, went to the library and took out books and bought a very cute and sort of expensive sundress, just because. My bloodwork was done and my white count is very low, so had to get the Neulesta shot (when do the SE's kick in on this one?), and my onc examined my crotch itch once I told him about it. Guess what? It's not an allergic reaction to the chemo, it is because of the low low white count - it's fungal, like a yeast infection. He prescribed Ketoconazole 2% cream for it. Fun, huh?? But today was an "up" day for me, because I made it about me and took time for myself. I also stopped in at the breast health navigator nurse at our cancer center where my docs are, and talked to her, and she said that yes, we will have great days, and really sucky ones. Just know we are there with you, and I am sure I will need you to lean on after my next treatment on the 23rd, once I crash from the steroids.
Take care and have a great night.
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Sandlee79- welcome and good luck - you'll be fine! We're here for you!
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Thanks for all the wonderful boosts!! I am going to color Easter eggs with the kids and get some things done, and then TRY and get some sleep. My tx is at 1:30 and I am really hoping the sun will be shining tomorrow, that always helps. Thanks again to all my chemo sisters!!!!!!!
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Believe1 - Please hang in there and know that we are all pulling for you! I wish you the best tomorrow and will be interested in hearing how things go for you. I was diagnosed around the same time as you I think (2/2) and will be starting my tx on Monday so we are not too far apart there either. I can also attest to the feelings of lows and highs that others are mentioning - yesterday was one of my worst days to date and then today I woke up feeling really optimistic about everything. Because of how fast all of this is happening I really feel in a fog about it a good portion of the time - could this be real, when will I wake up from the dream...etc. Then I think about how far I've already come up to this point and that there truly is an end in sight...once we are in the midst of "taking care of things" we women can do amazing things, I really do believe that.
Coloring eggs with the kids sounds like fun...I will probably do that as well this weekend with my daughter (10) but sadly my boys (15, 13) are already too old for that....
I hope that you can get rest tonight....take care...
Julie
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Hi Kathy,
I'm not sure why I will be visiting the doctors office so often, but I think I feel good that they will be keeping a close eye on me.
My hair was short to start with, but I cut it like a pixie cut a few weeks ago, then went even shorter last week...probably not a hair lenger than1/2 inch on my head. I felt this would prepare me better for losing it. My hairdresser told me to come in at the end of a day once it starts to come out (about day 14 I'm told) and she will buzz it all off for me. I think that will be less traumatic than seeing it come out little by little. My 29 yr old daughter came with me last week for a wig...I had a place in Park Ridge, NJ recommended and I think the wig is a very close match to my hair color and style. I pick it up beginning of next week. My insurance paid for the wig as long as I had a doctors prescription. If you think you will wear a wig, go soon to get fitted, before you lose the hair. I also got a few turbans, and scarfs, and a "hat with hair" to just throw on in the summer when it's too hot for a wig. If you need any names/places for these things, let me know.
Do you have children? I have 2 daughters, divorced but have a wonderful "man friend" that I have been seeing for 9 years. I live alone and don't plan on changing that - oops! just got a dirty look from my Maltese mix dog, chyna...live with her!
I'm a little wired tonight, I guess from the steroids (12 mg...not a huge amount). I had a couple of queasy moments tonight, but not bad at all...managed to eat english muffin with cream cheese and jelly, a few handfuls of goldfish (crackers, not the real deal), and an ice cream sandwich. The only thing I wasn't prepared for was some achiness in my legs tonight - will have to ask about that tomorrow - writing all my questions down.
I got a call back after my bone scan that scared the s**t out of me - "hot spots" both knees, both shoulders (arthritis they told me), and also in my cervical spine - they wanted a c-spine x-ray. Fortunately, I had MRI's and x-rays of that area a few years age because of disc disease, so it was well documented these problems pre-dated the cancer.
Well, I would like to try sleeping...not too optomistic, but will try.
Geri
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Just an FYI for everyone--
I broke out in a rash this morning. It was just on my right shoulder. I didn't think it was anything since it was close to the steri-strips from my port insertion last week. My breast surgeon noted it when she was taking the stitches out and felt it probably was a reaction to the tape. When my husband came home from work I showed it to him and he noticed it had started some small blisters--shingles. It's itchy but not painful.
Called the onco and am now on Valtrex 3 times a day. This is common since we are immuno-compromised. When it's caught early, it can be managed and not get out of control. The onco said that he'd be more worried if it appeared on the facial area because that would affect more nerves.
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Giglgrl--I love how you had a shaving party with your family. I know I will shave my head the minute my hair starts to fall out. A neighbor of my went through chemo last year and she suggested early shaving. I am set to go. Thanks for sharing an upliflting story.
Believe--hang in there. Last week it hit me hard when I realized how long the process will take (chemo, rads, expansions, exhange, nipples) and the only thing I could do was to break it down, step by step. Once you have your first infusion, you will feel relief and know that you are on your way to wellness. You are allowed to have a bad day--things will get better. Let us know how things go at your first treatment. Sleep tight.
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Well, been a long week. Thought the effects wouldn't end and just as one ended another started. Saw the Onc on the 8th and he says the blood work is looking good....sure had me worried just in case. Had muscle cramps from hell and they finally passed. Sure felt like I was inside of a vise having all three of my children at one time. Never knew anything could hurt so darn bad. After a nice talk with the doc, we decided I am lacking in sleep something bad. I try to sleep but cat naps are not doing the trick. So last night I feel asleep on the couch and told hubby first of all if I am sleeping don't wake me...period. Well after many small cat naps I went on to bed. Hubby stays up late doing his own computer thing. I don't think he was in bed 5 minutes when the up and down started all night long again. The sleeping pills work but darn they need to work longer like a full nights sleep. OH and the fun part about everything is I ended up with mouth yuk, what ever in the world they call it. I have been doing everything to a "T" then that crap hits me. Coffee tastes like pond water right now. Just one cup would be so nice. I am going to turn into a fish with all of the fluids I think...well maybe not but I sure spend enough time in the bathroom anyway. So now with new sleep meds, heartburn meds, meds for near everything I think I am set. LETS HOPE! I did ask the doc about the so called honeymoon time, he told me it will come....my thinking is let it be all next week before I return for round #2 on the 22nd of April. So girls, the head started to tingle last night. I thought all day about could this be the time to shave it off. Yup by this afternoon several places on my head was driving me nuts....gee I thought I had already been there done that. Seriously, we shaved my head. I cried like a baby at first, took two anxiety meds first, closed my eyes and told hubby lets do it. So the hair is gone and he did a great job. Weird to shower without hair, and the towel wouldn't stay on my head...no hair. Overall I am doing pretty good. Hating water and so much fluids, but know its a must. And wishing and dreaming of when my hair grows back. They say it comes back thicker and more beautiful...works for me. They also say more curls, I'll pass on more curls for a while.
Hope everyone is keeping their chin up. We will get through this. When things seem really rough I tell myself it could be worse. How quickly I change my thinking into more positive thoughts like warm weather, flowers, grandchildren, riding my motorcycles and just living each day to the fullest.
Hugs to everyone!
Nadine
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Nadine -sorry to hear you had a lot of SE from the drugs -hope its all getting better
Julie And Believe-hope your 1st goes ok -try to see the drugs as friends helping you to zap the cancer
My infusion was ok -the neulasta shot gave me a meltdown and it was the first time Ihave cried since all this hit me BUT today Iwoke up feeling ok and am back at my desk and almost happy
The hair-I had the cold cap but I wont be carrying on with that -its too heavy and the results are only about 50% and its expensive. Ice cubes for the eyebrows would be good so I will take my own next time to see if I can save them.
Take care everyone and keep positive
Anna
Anna
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Geri,
Sorry about the leg achiness. I hope you were able to get some sleep. The hair cut is a great idea.
I would love the name and address of the wig shop in Park Ridge. Park Ridge is not far from me. I kinda figured that the hot spot on my knee was arthritis. Broke my leg got a rod inserted, had it removed. The leg has never been the same.
My DH is very supportive we have two children. 3 cats, turtles, carnelians and other aquatics. My son is 23 he has been a big help. My daughter is in college she is 20. (Jen has been coming home on the weekends when she can.).
Well I have to get ready to go to work
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Not that I want too!)Have a great day. Take care of yourself, sleep when you can.
Kathy
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Hi Sandlee
Good luck with the first treatment-let me know how you get on -remember you are not alone
xx anna
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Well, finally fell asleep about 1:30 this morning. When I woke up the "achiness" in my legs is still there, but not as bad. Have a slight headache, but was able to eat english muffun with my meds. Going to the onc for my Neulasta - annadou, I know what you mean...I'm not looking forward to this shot either, but it's good to know you are better today.
Nadine - hope all your meds have helped you and that your honeymoon stage comes quickly. How many cycles will you have>
Ikat- thanks, I did get some sleep. I will send you the name & tel# for the wig shop later today - I figured that Park Ridge was pretty close to you - about 50 min from me. I will also send you the web address for the other head wear sites I used in case you need them. Glad to hear you have good support - what type of work do you do?
Well, time to shower, get dressed and head out to GUESS WHERE....doctors office!
. At least the sun is out for the moment! Catch up with you girls later.Geri
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Good luck with the shot!
Let us know how it goes
xxAnna
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Hi everyone,
Just had my first of 4 CT treatments on 4/7 and I feel awful. Yesterday could not even move I felt so bad. I know it will get better.
Today is the first day I can even go on the computer...I can't imagine anyone working! I am grateful for all the input and support here. It is harder than I expected. I have 5 teenagers (two sets of twins and a single) and a great husband who are helping me through. I live in Pasadena, CA and have a Breast Center I really like at Huntington Hospital - they have been great.
Happy Easter to everyone!
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Okay, I leave in a couple of hour for the first one....gosh, want so badly not to do this!!! I have a question, I am hearing alot about this shot, and so far noone has mentioned I will be getting one ( but I am sure I will, sounds like its part of it ) what is it for?? I read for neulasta, but I have four different pills already for that?? What does it do? Is it going to make me feel bad? Does it mess with your emotions ( which are already a mess ) ? Okay, going to continue to drink my water and give my kids some loven's. There dad will be taking them for the weekend, so its good, because I wont have any responsibility besides taking care of myself.
Wishing all my friends a wonderful day!
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Hi ladies,
My first dose of TAC was last Thurs. 4/2 and I am now just starting to feel better. The worst side effects that are bothering me now are insomnia. I tried benadryl which made my muscles jump all night (never had that effect from benadryl before) and tried over the counter sleep aid, that didn't help either. I am averaging 3 hrs sleep a night. Any suggestions. The nausea comes and goes even after taking zofran or compazine. The thought of curtain foods brings repulsive feeling and nausea. Have been living off of scambled eggs and toast and bananas.
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Hey Everyone! Happy Easter! I will be starting chemo for sure on Tuesday. Seeing the eggs today kinda reminded me of my soon to be bald head. It's probably also the last weekend I will have my full head of hair.
In many ways, I wish I wasn't left out....but on the other hand, hearing all of you who have already started post about your SEs is in a way reassuring. Thanks for sharing. We are gonna make it through somehow...together.
I did my egg retrieval thing yesterday....after almost 2 weeks of hormone injections and everything....they told me that out of my 11 eggs, only 1 has fused with my DH's sperm! I felt like crying. I've wasted so much time (and money) on this...when I could have done chemo earlier and be on the road to wellness!! Oh well.....I just seem to be always in the minority reports since this bc thing. Despite this....I told myself I'm not gonna be Debbie Downer today. I spent a great day with my DH and DS at the park.
Have a GREAT weekend all!! We owe it to ourselves
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Believe-The shot, I believe, is for folks on dose dense chemo (receiving a treatment every two weeks versus every three weeks). How often will you receive your treatments?
Ladies having trouble with the neulasta shot--ask to take the shot in the stomach--I read this on another thread so I self-administered my shot to my stomach and had no problems. It is worth a try.
Check in with you all later.
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Believe1, I had my first dose of AC on Wednesday, felt great Thursday. My husband gave me the Neulasta shot in the stomach, wasn't that much of a big deal. I am doing the dose dense regiment, AC every 2 weeks then 12 weeks of Taxol, then radiation. Today I am a little less lively, I am taking Emend for nausea and Compazine as needed. Fatigue is more of the problem today, didn't sleep very well last night, kept having nightmares about eating big plates of coleslaw, I used to love coleslaw, not sure I will ever eat it again. Strange what the mind will do to you! Going to take a nap and hopefully feel better later. Drinking lots of water so the naps are pretty short between the potty breaks. Sherri
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Hi everyone,
neulasta: I was told that I will get it after every treatment because I am on TAC (every 3 weeks) and the 'A' almost always causes low white blood count. I had neulasta 2nd April but didn't get the bad bone pain side effects (lower back and hips, and right knee which is arthritic) until this Wednesday. That was the day after they told me my wbc was really low. For treatment protocols without adriamycin they may wait to measure the wbc before giving you the shot. I found that the injection itself was not too painful, I had a little soreness of the injection site the next day.
Worst side effect so far for me has been the effect on taste - I finally felt up to having a glass of wine last night (I love wine and have a small wine cellar in my house) and it tasted like paint stripper! Well, looks like I'll have to cancel my wine club memberships for a while, and go back to drinking tea! I also got the same bad taste with Fresca (grapefruit soda) and almost as bad with beer. I wonder what they have in common?
It's now day 10 for me and I feel about 95% - it took longer than I was hoping but I should have 10 days of 'normal' before my next treatment - except for hair falling out which should happen next week. I have cut my hair short (for me) and will give it the 'buzz' once it starts to fall.
Keep strong, Lou.
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Believe1 - ask your doc for Ambien or some other sleep aid - they should prescribe it for you with no problems - I did! I've been on Ambien since I was diagnosed with bc, because I could not turn my brain "off", and then with the biopsy, lumpectomy, port and first treatment, I have not been able to get comfortable (I sleep on my side, and I'm just now being able to do that, sort of). I used to use Benadryl for occasional sleeplessness, and it always worked, but I took it the other night, just to see, and I was up all night too - it was very uncomfortable! Ambien works beautifully - you sleep great and don't wake up with a hangover (it's bad enough with the chemo brain fog).
My appetite for more flavorful, not bland food is returning, which is great. We had steak, baked potatoes and grilled onions last night, and nothing tasted better!!
I had the Neulasta shot yesterday and have not had too much pain in my hips and back, but have felt slightly achy at times. My onc also warned it could cause chest pain(?).
On a more lighthearted note, I definitely have CHEMO BRAIN. I turned the kitchen sink on to slowly fill to do my breakfast dishes this morning and came in to check email and stuff, and got involved with some things. About 30 minutes later, went into the kitchen and couldn't figure out what was wrong - the sink was overflowing and I flooded my kitchen!! Water was everywhere, counters, floors, spreading into the dining room and running out the french doors. I was going to do some yoga today to stretch, but definitely got my activity by grabbing every towel in the house, mopping and drying out my kitchen. I used to be the queen of multi-tasking, and now and going to focus on single-tasking from now on, especially when I go back to work next week.
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Hi all,
Had the Nelasta shot this morning in my non-mx arm - sub-q which is a very small needle right under the skin, not deep in the muscle. Slight stinging from the medication, but no real pain, and so far no bone pain, although I have pre-medicated with tylenol with the onc's permission. I am down to 8 mg of Decadron for the next 3 days, so hopefully I won't have as much trouble sleeping. My face had a nice "blush" to it today, which the onc said was from the steroid as well as the sleeplessness and mild headache - he just said I was sensitive to the effects of the steroids.
I stopped at my office after the shot today - I miss my staff and I know they miss me. Am starting to think about maybe 2-3 days in the office and a day from home. I really want to wait until I get through 2 full A??C cycles to decide though, because coming back and then maybe not being able to function would be much more disruptive for everyone - but at least I'm starting to think forward instead of only in the moment.
Appetite has been ok so far with just the tiniest bit of indigestion which onc suggested mylanta for if it is minor - he said other drugs are in the arsenal if needed, but the least amount of additional chemicals that keep me comfortable is the goal we both share right now - I really like him!
Ikat-the name of the wig place is Park Ridge Wig Center tel # 201-594-1123 - ask for William. There is also a web site if you google it...and by the way, it is not in Park Ridge - moved to next town over which I forgot the name of. William won't be in again until Tuesday (that is when I am picking up my wig). Tell him you got his name from me if you call, and remember to ask him about insurance coverage (he seems pretty knowledgable about that. I got the synthetic hair, which everyone, including William, recommended. You have to pay up front, but if insurance covers, you get most if not all back.) I didn't mind spending the extra money, since he fit the wig, gave me an hour consulatation, showed me how to take care of it, and shaped it the way I wear my hair.
Gonna try to eat a little something for dinner - haven't been so good remembering the fluids today, so need to catch up before it gets too late.
Geri
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Hi Everyone,
Quick question: Do you recommend being seen for a wig pre-chemo, pre-short haircut? Or to get the short haircut and then do the "wig thing"?
Thank you all for sharing your lives- - I feel like when the 20th comes, I have an arsenal of knowledge from you, and I hope that I will be able to pass that on to the next woman down the line. Hang in there.
Tammy
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