Taking a break from the group

Deb...We'll miss you terribly, but it does sound like the right decision for the reasons you cited. You have a relatively young marriage and so many years ahead together, years that can be very happy and fulfilling. Allowing cancer room between you is probably not wise as long as you have the choice (and, thankfully, you do!).

So go on and love 'em up, your husband and son. And, of course, don't forget to get plenty of mojo! As we know, it can be such an effective cement that binds lovers so well!

I love ya, chica!

~Marin

Hey ladies,

I'm breaking my own oath just to beg for your prayers.  Please, oh please, oh PLEASE........

I just got back from from a 6 hour day of 3 doctors.  The first doc (PCP) says "whoa, that is big, you gotta get that polyp out ASAP"  He proceeds to call a surgeon in front of my face and talk about how  "she has to get in right away, she has a very large tumor."  I get scheduled to go to the surgeon right after the colonoscopy follow-up. 

Colonoscopy follow-up: doc who did it was just a total peach (not at all the demon I remember).  "This is okay!  No big deal at all, just get it out because these types of polyps can grow to cancer in 6-12 months."  Then he gave my son a tickle and left. 

Huh?! 

Then, I get to the surgeon.  By that time I am a freaked-out mess, and am thankful for my baby.  The surgeon seems to be directly related to my old rads oncologist.  He had an immediate calming presence.  I loved him immediately. 

He asked all sorts of questions about my bc, and I told him everything.  He asked about my reconstruction, and sounded very curious, so I told him what I tell every single person who is curious. 

"It's all right if you see them." 

He got embarrassed, and said it was because his daughter was about to have surgery for breast cancer.  He got teary. 

I loved him more. 

He then got serious.  This is where it got scary. 

"We treat this as though it is cancer.  It may have been benign for your biopsy, but it is a large-based growth, and has obvious potential to grow into cancer or already be cancer.   We will (ICK) cut out a large portion of the polyp and re-structure your colon. The polyp is where the colon bends, and that is why it was not able to be removed already.   We will check the lymph nodes to see if there is involvement there, and if there is, they will decide what kind of chemo to give you." 

I gagged.  "CHEMO?!" 

"You will have to go on a liquid diet immediately and do a colon cleanse.  Your surgery will be this Friday." 

I cried. "AGAIN?!   I HAVE TO CLEANSE AGAIN?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!?" 

I wailed.  I wept.  He hugged me, and opened up Daniel's chocolate milk. 

He hugged me and said, "remember, this is a major surgery.  You will be in the hospital 5-7 days.  You will have restrictions." 

I whispered, "Please make me okay. Promise me I'm okay." 

He whispered back, "I will do everything I can." 

So, I am breaking my vow to ask ANY and ALL of you to please submit my name to any and ALL prayer lists you know, please splash this post on every appropriate thread on our sisterhood site, and please, even if you don't believe in God, please just hope with all your might that I am okay. 

Thank you ladies.  Thank you for the notes of love and affirmation, too. 
Please, ask everyone to pray for whoopsiedoodles.  I don't care if you say my name, either! 

I love you, and have missed you so very much.  Please, spread the news to the other ladies that I am having a surgery where they are removing what they are pretty sure is cancer. 

Whoopsie, gentle hugs.  You are right on top of my prayer list, right next to Moody's Olivia.