Starting Chemo May 2008

Jean~ I think the very last song to add to the cd should be "what a wonderful world" by louis armstrong. Not matter what mood I am in that one makes me sit back, breathe in slow and enjoy the world around me no matter where I am. But you don't have to add it if you don't want to :O)

Went out for dinner tonight for my monthly dose of chinese food. Things just didn't taste right without the extra soy sauce. I'll learn to live without it though.

Roxi~ glad you had a great time. It sounds wonderful! At the end of may we are doing a road trip to virginia for a wedding. It will be my son's first long trip... I'm hoping he is able to handle it. (He's rather wiggly) If nothing else I'm taking headphones and my ipod LOL

The only time I had immediate results was when I had suspicious areas, like last month. I think all future mammos will freak me out.

Blah, blah, blah...love, love, love my butterfly card, Robin. Thanks. My friend, Glenda's mom was very into butterflies for practically her whole life. After she died (at a ripe old age and NOT from cancer) they creamated her and took her ashes way out in the Gulf to drop as she lived in New Orleans. As they were dropping the ashes, a butterfly flew about on the boat. How cool is that? They swear it was her spirit as no butterflies usually fly about boats way out in the gulf. Pretty cool, eh?

Kerry and other fine Femara women, I am taking L-Glutamine and I wonder if glucosamine with chondroitan would be better. I have been working our religiously for 40-60 a day and that does seem to be helping. I am taking all of your advice and will let you know what happens. It does seem to be settling some and I have lots of other options (split the pill in half and take half twice a day) try taking the whole thing in the morning instead of at night...am open to other ideas such as purple juice, etc.

Noelle, so sorry about the fricking recession. Hang in there. Hang in there. Hang in there.

Dana --so glad you are back. Ditto what Rock said (by the way, I always want to ditto what Rock said as she is so wise). We love you. We want to walk with you and support you and we are thrilled you are back.

Rand and Rock -- my family lived through and died in the holocaust so no obsession with genocide around here. My uncle willb e 102 in May. He saved my dad's life. My dad is 88. All the rest of that family (grandfather, uncles, aunts) were killed in the holocaust EXCEPT for my grandma who died from "woman problems". Breast cancer? VERY LIKELY but we don't know.

Jen, Okay herceptin sister. It's a deal. I'll swap you your sweat for my joint pain. My hot flashes are often but mellow and am willing to sweat more to alleviate joint crap. Name your time and for how long you want to swap. I'm there. Be careful what we wish for, huh? By the way, by my count I have one herceptin tomorrow, one in April, two in May, one in June, two in July and maybe one last one in August. I am down to counting on my two hands. Woo hoo.

Seattle Swedish gives all bc patients the results of mams immediately for at least five years after. Anyone who doesn't should be hit on the head with our shovels immediately.

I love you all and have to get back to work right now or there will be trouble in river city. So...glucosamine and L-glutamine....difference? Weigh in.

Tex~ ultasound went uneventful... that's my new word to use for everything now.... uneventful lol. There was a small spot that showed up but it is right where the cyst was they scanned for the last time. It looked smaller to me on the screen and the second one did not show so I think it is gone. I'm not gonna fret over it, I'm tired of fretting about myself at the moment.

Jean~ How'd the scan go?

My gf I posted about is going to have to have surgery. The ulrasound doc said it looked like stage 3 endometriosis and the gyn said it looked like something else. So they are doing an exploratory surgery and if it can be cut out then they will do that but if it is more then another surgery to follow. She has been saying for months she would like to have a hysterectomy just so she wouldn't have to deal with her period anymore. I can't make her understand that there is a shitload more than "just" going without your monthly.

Tried some moose (yes that says moose) in my hair this morning. I still have NO FRICKIN CLUE as to how to style it. I kinda skritch it around with my fingertips when it is wet and hope it looks ok later. I did learn one thing.... the hair that I have now only takes MAYBE a dime size, if that, of mousse. That hair I used to have... at least 2 handfuls and that still wasn't enough most days. If nothing else I am saving a ton of money in hair products.

Eddie~ bring it on babe! lol

 My Song for the CD:

ABBA  "I have a dream"

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

As a woman with a strong faith in Jesus Christ I would have to say first and foremost that it was the strength and peace given me in Christ that permitted me go through the cancer journey and emerge a better person.  Any number of praise and worship songs, or comforting hymns would fit nicely into the compilation but for now that is not my choice.  I don't know if any of you remember about my DD spending her hard earned money from her 2008 summer job to fly my sister out to be with me.  During my sister's visit we saw "Mama Mia", dragging DD with, much to her dismay.  Respectfully DD sat there trying not to puke or roll her eyes while Sister and I laughed throughout the movie and sang with many of the songs. Clearly DD didn't care much for the movie.  Well, along comes Christmas 2008 and what should DD give her mother as a gift but the DVD "Mama Mia". Anxious to watch it with me this time around she too laughed and later I learned got the sound track from itunes. Over her Christmas break from college she watched that movie numberous times to the point of memorizing songs and lines.

I worship the creator of the Angels.  He blessed me with many angels that ministered to me throughout this past year and there is not enough room in this posting to name them all.  DD and Beloved Sister are only two. DH has been the man I needed time and again, however if you would have asked me prior to this if I thought he'd be strong enough I probably would have said no.

 The 19 of you May Chemo Sister's provided comfort, support and understanding that most others were unable to because you all understood something they had not experienced. I am truly sorry that each of us had to go through this but remain firmly convinced that we all somehow better, changed persons...Dear Angels thank you for crossing my path

RK

P.S. Still working on a Michigan visit in the next few weeks. Linda, Mary and Jen.. get me your not available dates so I can start making a plan. Looks like the weekend of the 5th is complicated... but we'll see.

 N

Noelle~ the moose was all I had at the moment. I figured when I got more hair I would get the gel and try it then. This stuff was only a buck.

April 5th is out for me now. That is when my family is getting together for easter. Hopefully the next time!

Evening ladies,

Dana - sorry to hear about the pneumonia on top of everything else.  I'm glad you feel comfortable sharing with us.  It is what it is, but we can get through whatever it is.  We'll take our shovels and put that light out on your thyroid node!

Karin - how is your new morning gig working out?

Jen - you are clever with your words this evening- your "moose" was only a "buck" ha ha ha - or maybe it just hit me as funny.  I haven't felt good today so it may not take much to amuse me.

Mary - are you all back to normal after your vacation?  Your pictures on FB were so nice.  I want to be somewhere warm.  It sounds like everyone is having crazy weather this week.  We might get snow again this weekend.

Otter - are you hunkered down on your boat safe and sound - looks like you had nasty weather in the south today.

Noelle - hang in there!  If anyone can weather this economic mess, you can.  You are passionate about everything you are involved in and I admire that.

Robin - did your daughter make it home for spring break?  How far away is she?

My dad was admitted to the hospital today with pneumonia.  He fell on some ice right before Christmas and just hasn't felt great since.  He cracked 3 ribs then and already had bronchitis.  I think this is just a contiuation of feeling like crap for the last 3 months.  They don't want us to come out there because we don't want to catch anything.  My Riley said this gives us one more reason not to like March.  I guess she is keeping tabs. 

Hope everyone else is ready to coast into Friday and the weekend.

Julie

Hey all - checkin' in (I almost wrote "chick" instead of "check" but that would have worked too...lol)

Dana - Yup, Xanax it is.  I don't think our docs always know and/or even remember what they say to us and they certainly don't know how we carry their words with us.  Well crap.  How's that for some prose?  I'm gonna echo Randie and just send some mega-prayers your way. 

Robin - Loved the "Mama Mia" story.  We just watched it a couple of weeks ago and I LOVED it - Katie and I had to watch all the "extra" scenes afterwards - my favorite is "Dancing Queen"!!!

Julie - Also sending good thoughts and prayers about your dad. 

Okay, I have written stuff (weird stuff, you don't wanna know) and erased it multiple times because I am D.A.T.  I have been fighting off some cold or flu all week and am taking a page from the "get thyself to bed early, Noelle" campaign. 

Hugs to everyone...

P.S. Randie - It always makes me giggle when you say Mafia wars...maybe it's the Sicilian in me...

a new topic:  will one of you explain to me how my winter gear (goggles, mittens, hand warmers) seem to diasppear after our children have left our home? Those items would come in handy this morning as DH and I need to use the snow thrower to clear out effects of our spring blizzard. He's working on the dog yard 1st so they will have a place (instead of my house) to relieve themselves.  Problem is it's 8 degrees and they don't want to go out.

0950 update: 13 degress, sun looks like its trying to come out, the driveway is clear for DD to come home today (had to stay with roomie in Denver last night due to hazardous road conditions).  The delemnia may be her Toyota Corolla getting high centered on our un plowed dirt road.  DH will run the truck a few times to make her a path.

No complaints here about the snow!

I am D.A.T.

Happy 25th Anniversary, Angels! That is definitely one that you celebrate all year long, right?!

Adrienne: a belated, Non-immediate reads of mamms SUCK.  As do docs who change their story.  (Cris, I read your post without being able to see your name -- I turn off all graphics to attempt to conserve mbs -- and realized immediately, "Oh, this must be Cris!" I like your spirit, woman.)

I got nothing of value to report here except that today is Pam's birthday.  Oh, and I have a little crush on someone. 

Did I mention I am D.A.T.?  D.A.   . . . T.

No complaints about the snow??? Robin, you're a stronger woman than I am.

I'm in Oklahoma with my in-laws right now.  We tip-toed between thunderstorms yesterday and got here safely.  (Well, almost.  More about that in a minute...)  Anyway, my DH (yes in caps) promised it would be warm here--highs in the mid-60's--so there was no reason for me to take all those extra, just-in-case clothes I was packing.  Well, the forecast for today is a high of 45, and it's supposed to snow 4 to 6 inches here tomorrow. Good thing DH doesn't make a living forecasting the weather.

If that wasn't enough:  last night as we got on the Muskogee Turnpike, the low-fuel light came on.  My DH was driving, and he turned to me:  "Do we really need to fill up immediately, or can we drive some more?".  We've been through this same conversation oh, 10 or 12 times.  At Christmas we were driving that same stretch of road and the same thing happened, and DH refused to stop for gas until I thought the car was probably on fumes.  So this time I said, "Oh, it's supposed to have 3 gallons left when the light comes on; so it's okay to drive another 40 miles, probably. (Actually the car gets 25 mpg so we could go farther.)

Around 18 miles later, the car starts hiccupping and lurching and ... comes to a complete stop on the shoulder of the turnpike.  I see house lights, and I'm ready to start walking; but DH says "Oh, this is why we have Triple-A.  We can just call them and they'll come right out and help us!"  So he calls Triple-A and explains where we are, and that we just need some gas because of contaminated fuel, but maybe a tow if the car won't re-start.  They say a truck will be there in 30 or 45 minutes.

One hundred forty minutes and 3 phone calls later, the tow truck appears...without a gas can.  The driver had been told we were in a wreck and the car needed to be hauled away.  <sigh> 

Everything turned out okay for the car, but things between DH and I have been on edge ever since.  He thinks I'm pissed off about the car (I'm not--I thought we'd have plenty of gas), and he's expecting an argument at any moment today.  So, he asks a question, and I get confused and have trouble explaining the answer, and he gets pissed off and says "What are YOU mad at???" at me.  A scripted argument.  And then he goes storming off with his mom to go shopping without me.  <sigh>

But I have you guys. You understand how it is to not be able to explain something clearly, like you could before.  And to not have the patience you used to have--to get irritable easily some days, or maybe get all teary-eyed for no reason.

I love you guys.  Dana, we will come there to hang out with you, and ranD will tell you funny jokes (which she obviously is very good at) and rock and eddie will say inspiring things (rock will play the guitar) and I'll entertain you with back-flips in the pool like a good otter (you do have a pool, right?), and kerry will tell chook stories or maybe even smuggle some Banties with her, and, oh, who's going to cook?  But we have to send some strength and good wishes Julie's way for her dad, and angels needs some for that suspicious mammo she had (they squished your mastectomy side??? Say it ain't so!).

And I need to make up with DH so this visit will be fun instead of stressful.  Right now, it's way too stressful.

Hugs...

otter 

This is just another fly by. I have much too much to catch up on but I wanted to post Roxi's request. I was going to upload to FB but couldn't because I don't own the rights. With a bit of searching I found it on YouTube. Here is a link to Bear Pole Dancing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-Ug0-T4_78&feature=related   

Julie and Rock (she asked on FB), latchkey (SACC) is school aged child care before school starts. I'm technically just a glorified baby sitter at the school. I was hired as a 1 on 1 to work with a BD (behavior disability) student. My job is to work with him exclusively. Well wouldn't you know the week I start he had been suspended from latchkey so he wasn't there. I worked with all the kids this week. However I did get to meet him. He wasn't suspended from school just latchkey. As I was leaving I went through the cafeteria and saw my friend that told me about the position. She was standing there with him. She told him I was the friend she had been telling him about. He acted shy and bowed his head trying to hide. I told him there was no need to bow because I wasn't a princess or a queen. He thought that was funny and starting giggling. He then put out his hand to shake mine and said Hello, I'm Jeremy. Don't know why I said what I did but I think we hit it off on the right foot. After I formally introduced myself to him he did a formal bow so I replied with a curtsey.

Karin. Rock, Angels, Kerry : Be on the look out for something in the mail.

Everyone else: I'm glad it brought a smile to you

Except for you Tex (don't have your address)

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HUGS to you Otter. We do understand.

Happy 25th Angels.

Karin: a friend sent me an email with the bear pole dance.  Quite funny.

Kerry: is the new boy friend working out for you?

Cristine: I have that cold you've been fighting off.  Hope you've managed to keep it away.

Rock: you'll have to set aside several days to read/watch all the interesting forwards/emails  you couldn't pull up in South Africa, once you return to NYC.

Julie: glad things seem to be improving for your father.

Anyone: explain the shovels to me.

Everyone: Happy Weekend.

DD is home for her spring break, the snow from the blizzard is melting, we are going out to dinner, the wash machine is going nonstop as she plows through her mounds of laundry and I am happy.

Love,

RK