Starting Chemo May 2008

ranD, I can't imagine why your blood pressure and heart rate might have been high, in that situation...  Glad to hear those ol' lungs are giving you a break this time.  Go platelets!  Go platelets!  GO PLATELETS!!!

If (when) we eventually do get together, wouldn't it be fun to have a pot-luck dinner and bring or make our favorite things?  Oh.  I guess it would be kind of hard for someone to keep a veggie casserole hot while balancing it on her lap on a cross-country flight.  Besides that, the TSA wouldn't even allow a veggie casserole through airport security, because it would violate the 3-ounce limit on "liquids" (which includes soft, mushy stuff).  But I think it would be fun anyway.

rock, are you asleep yet?  [Time out while otter tries to figure out what time it is in Capetown... oops:  Cape Town...]

http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/

http://www.what-time-is-it.com/

Okay, it's 6:05 a.m. where rock is, and she's probably getting up already.  It looks like it will be a nice day, with the temp in the mid-80's and maybe some rain this evening.

And, here, it's time for bed.

G'night, all.  Hugs and love...

otter

Ok, I'm pulling a Karin and having notebook open to the side so I get everyone LOL.

Julie~ Man I HATE to cook! Love to bake though. (looks to make sure adrienne isn't watching LOL). But I do try to set up a menu for 2 weeks at a time. I go thru what meats I have in the freezer and try to plan around that. I found that I actually save money and we eat a bit healthier that way.

Angels~ do you take stowaways??

Roxi~ hope your little one feels better soon!

RanD~ Glad you are doing better daulink! It's you and me on thursday. If you hold my hand I'll hold yours.

Otter~ put me down for something with chocolate in it LOL

Karin~ staples in my pantry usually are garlic, onions, some sort of hot sauce and tortillas. Oh and now fresh raw veggies.... somehow my son is 90% vegertarian in a house of carnivores. I've yet to figure that one out. And it can't be cooked veggies either... they have to be raw.

Rock~ send me some of that weather you are having. Aren't you glad you aren't in cold snowy NY right now??

Noelle~ how's the sticks? no bruises I hope.

Gracie~ YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY baby eyebrows!!!!!!!!!!! there are more on the way baby!

I see Eddie is home from her trip. Hopefully she will pop in soon, I miss her :O) Ya know its funny...... Never meeting ya'll in person you are in my mind alot as I go thru the day. "wonder what "XX" is doing, "hope "xx" is doing better today" <--- insert YOUR name in the "xx" spot. I can't wait for that one day where we can fall into each others arms and laugh and cry till we pass out. *sigh* :O)

GO PLATELETS!!! GO PLATELETS!!  (I was trying to write a poem but couldn't come up with a rhyme for platelets.

Another blood draw? Gotta hate it.

I'm just happy that Randie;Has enough platelets.

Burma Shave.

******

Julie:  "The glow faded..."  that would be a great name for a blog, I believe.  You have captured my approach to all things domestic perfectly. I am reassured by the fact that you are a home ec teacher. 

Hummus -- I am a big fan. Several months ago, I had this brief moment of horror when I thought hummus was made out of soybeans because basically, I have hummus flowing through my veins. 

Love the new cheer for RanD - GO PLATELETS GO PLATELETS.  At least we are able to find a way each time to cheer on someone who is having difficulties.

Rock - I am not a teacher.  I knew that going into school that I didn't have the patience to teach.  It should have been in my genes, though.  Everyone on my dad's side of the family (both grandparents, all aunts and uncles and my dad) was in education.  My degree was Home Ec with an emphasis on communications.  I took a little of all types of home ec classes and a little of all types of communication classes (news writing, editing, magazine, photography, etc.).  I wanted to work for a food company or something like that.

Back to the cooking - I don't mind doing it - I hate making something for me and the girls to eat early, but it has to stay warm nicely for dh to get home and usually what we like, the girls don't like.  Katie is my carbohydrate addict and Riley is trying to eat healthy.  They don't like much in the way of meat and only like a few veggies.

Gracie - I don't know if Hallmark has a card for baby eyebrows, but I would send you one if they did.  Maybe we should start our own line of chemo cards.

Gotta go - Rily hurt her foot dancing around last night and she can't walk so we have an early doctor's appointment.

It's always something ...

Julie

I have decided to call my onc and am preparing for the arguement.  I decided yesterday to call off this week's chemo.  I am looking at low counts and imagining how low they will be after this week's chemo.  The ER doc was the one who finally clinched it for me.  I am not pulling it off the table, but I think that my body is telling me that this crap put me in the hospital last time and even a lower dose is going to kick th e crap out of me.  It also gives my platelets time to replenish themselves.

I m completely at peace with the decision.  YOu know how we all overanalyze things. I got this strong feeling starting Sunday that chemo was not the way to go at this time.  I will be working on buiding my immune system, started the flax seed, vitamins and my frozen fruit protein shakes filled with yummy mango, raspbrries and blueberries (Fruits available in the freezer section of Trader Joe's... they are addictive, will be stocking up soon).

I even have a huge crappy (my word of the day obviously) mouth sore that I need to get the magic mouthwash for, so I just think my body is trying to get my attention and slap me butgood, lol.

What do you all think?

There you go...

Now for the notebook section:

Julie: love to cook, but this little tube in my nose means that I can;t get near the stove...chemo cards...there's an idea..they have cardsfor everythng else, wonder how the marketing genuises missed that opportunity...quick someone call Komen, they have another pink route openign up...lol

Angels:  will be there in spirit.

Roxi: my little 6 yo has a cough and sniffles.  I hate being immuno suppressed because all he wants to do is cuddle and I can't...so I let him get in bed and put his feet on me t hold

Otter: Carbo killed my chocolate taste buds...

Sable: all carnivores here, but they will eat their veggies!!

Karin: still sending prayers your way....

Rock: want to be by warm sunny beaches........eating hummus!!

Noelle: Sam loves the glow in the dark soap...he makes sure its in the light all day and then runs in to check on it til he goes to bed

Gracie: eyebrows who hooo you go girl

Kristy: have a great work day, one more reason to show you are beating the crap out of cancer...go go go!

Sorry if I missed anyone....

BTW, the kids are now including "mom's internet friends" in their daily prayers.  They said the list is too long to remember, so we call you the Internet 18!!!

Love you all, randie

Rand, I think if anyone knows their body the best, its you. Let your body catch up to your spirit. 

President is on tv, I'll write more later. Gotta run... 

No time right now. Just wanted to say good morning to all. Class trip is today and I have to leave early.

Karin - where are we going?  Of course, we will be up for anything.  Hope you have a fun day!

Good morning!

Julie

Hope every one is havong a good day today.  Unfortunately, the sun which came out yesterday, is now behind clouds again and the rain will be coming soon! 

Okay, this is getting weirder by the minute.  Yesterday, I got a call from a good friend who bought a boo for me called "Cancer:Outside the Box."  She said she was getting a really bad feeling about me doing chemo and that she thinks i need to break and heal. Then, dh's oldest daughter is on the phone saying the same thing! Just whenit couldn;t get any weirder, my dd's softball coach, who is a chiro, calls and starts asking about me and when I talk to him about alternates, he jumps on board and recommends juicing and for me to come in and get adjustments that he says will open up my lungs and lt me breathe easier.  Okay, is that too weird??????

I have to see my onc on Thursday and tell her what I a plannig...gulp...don't think shewill like it since she is a big promoter of chemo ASAP.  But, shouldn't we be able to tell if our bodies can take more chemo?  I still feel tired and achy, so why would I put myself at risk for another hospital stay? Sigh, this is such a pain trying to not second guess every decision.  I am not sorry that I did chemo in May, I just think that it obviusly didn't work for me, so I need to try other choices and use chemo as a lat reort, does that make sense?

Feeling better today, I am still using the oxygen, but am trying to walk around and move more, but a shower will wipe me out for a while.....so, that's my world.....lol

Hope all of us will have a better day!!

randie

I am still pulling myself together after a self-indulgent blubberfest (god, I love to cry!) but wanted to weigh in and say: you could call a trip to the meatpacking plant a "field trip" and I would be happy. I LOVE field trips.  Eyebrows are wonderful things.  Ditto for being appreciated and cut slack.

Cris -- Are you getting some good gene counseling? I am like a rabid dog on the point of counseling. It scares the bejeezus out of me to think there are women who are being told they have the gene mutation without having had the benefit of good counseling before they are tested. I know sometimes counseling is just not the option but if it IS an option, please take it!!!! (I'm BRCA2+. My family's results -- mostly + for the mutation, so much for the 50/50 crap! -- continue to stream in. I thank God a couple times a week I had really top-flight counseling. Gene mutations: The gift that keeps on giving.)  

Randie: I struggled for awhile because I don't want to say "Yeah, Randie, listen to your body...hit pause on chemo..." and then later come to find out that that pause shortened your life in a significant way. But! I just couldn't imagine a scenario where I could see frogmarching you to a chemo that you feel like you are too D.A.T. to endure right now. UNLESS UNLESS UNLESS there is a reason that this break would be really lousy timing, i.e., a critical point in getting on top of the mets, even a short break would result in trillions more cancer cells. (I am making that scenario up, obviously. But you get my drift.)  You KNOW I support you in whatever you do. I really do respect that it is your body, your life, your decision. But if I"m really honest, I hope that you're thinking of a "pause" rather than a stop to chemo.  Or maybe considering consulting another oncologist to see what other options you might have. 

One more thing: I once had a friend who was very very ill with AIDS. He and his partner wanted me to support them in their decision to kill my friend (not help them with it, just support them in their decision). And I told them, "You know, there may come a time for that. And when that time comes, I'm there for you 100%. But right now? I don't feel like it's that bad yet, that we're 'there' yet. I think you're just really tired of being in the hospital and feeling like sh*t. So no, I can't get behind the suicide plans right now." (I have taken care of a lot of people who died of AIDS. So my objection wasn't coming completley out of nowhere.) That was 2002. Greg is alive and very healthy.  Of course, it could've turned out very differently. Maybe Greg would have gone on to have a lousy couple weeks before dying and my withholding of supportwould have made a hard situation even harder.

 ** * * * * * *
Okay, so this is a pretty obnoxious post. But I don't have the energy to re-word it into something less over-bearing.  I hope the concern comes through, though, and the unconditional love.  Because it's felt. It really is.

I am with y'all for my presription for RanD.

Dear Ran, you got my recc on FB. Give it hell, but ask for a break and maybe lower doses id that'll give u a quality of life while they work out if this chemo cocktail will work. Juice,  drink the purple stuff I am sending you, get Reiki, get hypnosis.. go as crunchy as all get out... but don't quit chemo just yet.

I'll fly to Cali and hold your puke bowl if that'll help, I bet we all will be there in whatever way we can!  Just stay alive so we can all meet dammit!

My RNA from Jan was re-read They reported it at 49 and changed it to 50 after re-reading it....and my Feb one (this Monday) was a 50 too! which means I dropped from my original 55 in August to 50 in Nov, Dec, Jan and Feb.... which.. hopefully means we can continue Herceptin normally now!!!  

Gotta run. Hosting a party for this new purple health juice I have started selling. One of the people from the Florida division is coming to do a talk. Apparently she is a little on the ummm.. not so smart side. So, it may just be a night of freakin' comedy!

 xoN

Okay,

You go away skiing for a week and it takes hours to catch up. So...I will catch up and post soon. Love you all. Sounds like huge decisions are being discussed. Will read soon and sign in. 

Okay, wrote to Bonnie about us....fingers crossed.....

Ladies -

Just checking in to say hello and I can see that a bunch is going on here.  I am catching up and posting more soon. 

RanD - Praying for you.  I am a big believer in signs, conventional medicine, prayer and healthy lifestyle.  I am hoping that you can trust in your onc enough to have a good conversation with them or do as Rock suggested and get a second opinion.  Hugs to you and glad your lungs are feeling better. 

Pooch was not feeling well on Sunday and I brought her to the vet Monday.  They took x-rays and apparently popped her knee while doing so.  She is on doggie pain pills, hopping around on 3 legs.  She should be just fine . . . 

I am sooooo DAT, not sleeping because of the prednisone.  6" of snow expected tomorrow, need another look at Otter's flowers.  Completely random, but wanted to say hi.

Hugs and love to all!

Jean