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I am also sorry you have to join this crappy club that no one wants to belong to. 

I would also recommend asking your doctor for an anti-anxiety scrip just to get you through the difficult days of waiting and worrying.  I was never a pill taker--just vitamins and the occasional tylenol.  However, I must say, taking the occasional Xanax has been a lifesaver.  It really helped me sleep and banish the horrible "what ifs" that tend to creep up late at night when you are lying awake worrying.

You will get through this, and we will all be here to support you.

Peace, love & healing.

Dear Kat,

Try to have someone go with you to all your doctor appointments. Believe me, you will not hear everything the doctors tell you; someone with you will & can take notes for you. I can remember seeing my surgeon standing in front of me, but I can only tell you half or less of what he said. I do remember me telling him I wanted surgery right away & crying....

Ask anything of the gals here at any time; there will ALWAYS be someone here to help you.

Sending you a hug,

Val 

God, your story sounds just like what I went through when my mom was diagnosed until we got the test and the plan of fight in place. I actually think that somebody should write a book ( if it has not been written yet) on the emotional and mental process that takes place when you are diagnosed ( partially, as the full diagnosis comes in steps, which brings me to my next argument)... What you are going through is what I believe all in this club went through in the beginning. You can't sleep, wake up in the middle of the night thinking worst case scenarios, etc. I was close to getting xanax or prescription sleep aids from my doc, as I thought I was not going to be able to function longer like this. Then you hook up with this crowd on this website, and they have advice, information, hopes and hugs for you, as some of them " graduated" from the step you are still on.They will comfort you in many ways.

 I can not say it loud enough, you have to try to take one step at a time, it all passes, you get results back, and once you know the plan of action, you feel different, you are active, you are doing something to get this disease out of your body and mind.But the full diagnosis does not come right away after one test. Give yourself and your doctor a time to do what is necessary to get the full picture, before you do anything. I was petrified that we waited too long, asking what is reasonable time to wait from one thing to another is helpful. 

The reason why you can not sleep is because you are probably scared, lonely in the diagnosis( I felt I was the only one affected by this disease, nobody else in the world including my husband could share the anxiety), and overwhelmed by it.

I do not know what will work for you, but what worked for me, was support from others, (that is why this site is amazing), my friends, my family, refusing to think worst case scenarios, refusing to think too far ahead, etc. For example now, we are in a stage of waiting for the surgery, I do not read, think, or talk about chemo or radiation. Once we are done with surgery we will move to that. And I have planned our vacations once this is over ( something great to look forward).

I hope this helps. 

Renia