Starting chemo Dec 2007

Hello my Friends,

Thank you so much for your caring concern! Im feeling better, less anxious and much more capable of dealing with whatever I have to deal with. Ive had a really nice weekend.... Friends took me out for a belated b day dinner then dh and I went shopping on Saturday and bought a monster snow blower for the business and a new (almost new) car for me. Lol its the first time in my life that Ive picked out and bought a car for just me...... All the trucks dont count  they are nice, but they are all work trucks. So I insured it today and will be scooting around town tomorrow just for fun after work in MY first car.

I'm supposed to alternate from MRI to Mammogram every 6 months but this mammo is almost 4 months from all the last tests (MRI, Mammo & Ultrasound) but whatever, Hopefully the results will be normal and I'll carry on. I really am ok, I had a low moment and came back from it as it does noone good. Im a pretty tough cookie and crumble just a bit once in a while. Thanks for all the love and support, Love and Hugs Suz  

Hello ladies,

It has been a very long time, I have been extremely busy with working day and night  and life in general (when I can squeeze it in, lol).

Suz, big hugs to you, I am sorry you are in this waiting mode with these issues.  It is SO unnerving......I hope and pray everything will turn out to be nothing to worry about!  You mentioned a belated b day dinner - did you have your b-day?  If so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!!!!  Enjoy the new wheels!

I'm sorry I can't be around much these days, I hardly ever even look at facebook too....I am just TOO busy.

Hugs to all

Laura

geez I really MUST change that photo - I actually do have hair now, lol!  When I have time.....

Thanks my dears, Yes the car was a moment to remember as my whole life has been purchasing vehicles (trucks/equipment) for the business. Ive never bought something for me. It was odd as I had no input from anyone, it was all about me and I think that was a first EVER. Lol I love the car and it was a very good distraction from "stuff" you all know what I mean. I have a few more weeks till I get the results, but am not worried...... why worry right. It will be what it will be. I love you all and Laura I would be really happy to see the new you in your pic. Geeze I bet you have a beautiful crop of hair by now. So will wait for your updated avitar.... It really sucks that your too busy for anything, but your living life and really it doesnt get any better than that right! Sooo Love and Hugs to Everyone.... I couldnt have done it without you all, Suz

I don't know why, but its in my head you will get the results today, Suz?  If so, best wishes and prayes for that B9 report on that.  Please let us know how you are doing.  Been gone a while but still thinking about you and keeping up a prayer dear lady!

SUZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so releived to read your posts, and feel horrible thinking about how you felt while waiting for results....Lord knows we all know how much the waiting game sucks! Drive on my fellow BC warrior!

Dec 207 friends,sending love and cyber hugs to all of you wonderful ladies.........I check your posts often, and feel so connected when I read them.

 Had yet another bump in the road....surgery to remove some necrotic tissue  in my belly as a result of my hysterectomy in Nov 08, which also triggered appendicitis! All done laproscopically, so piece of cake recovery, thank goodness.I am running out of body parts to lop out!

Praying for our continued health in 2009 and beyond! Bring on SPRING !!! xoxox cindy

Suz,

So relieved to hear things turned out ok in the end. I'm glad they explained everything to you (finally!). Hopefully this will make someone think twice next time they keep information from someone... like you said before, it's info about your body, why shouldn't you hear it. Anyway, so very glad it turned out ok for you, buddy.

Cindy,

 Sorry to hear about your problem. You sound like you plowed ahead and took care of it, in typical Strong Cindy fashion. Am laughing at your comment about running out of body parts to lop off:-) Glad you're doing well.

Hugs to you all,

Sal

Just saying hi

OK my first post here in ages. Im just trying to find a place to be comfortable to talk again on this board. So far Ive tried posting on a few threads but deleted them, Im just not that comfortable here yet. After all its been a while and I didnt plan on coming back . Life doesnt work the way we plan. So Im gonna just talk here for this post and see where it takes me.

I figured once I had my tubes and ovaries removed last Sept I was done, went on an incredible vacation with dh in Nov. Life was finally returning to normal!

Had my routine mammo & ultrasound in Feb. 09. they called me back for a MRI core biopsy,on my right (good) side. They never did it as as soon as I was in the mri machine they said not cancer just a very small cyst. My next set of appointments were set for  August 28 MRI and  Sept 10, 09 with my Oncologist. Great.. I was free and clear for 6 more months. Well the beginning of May I found a noticible lump on my right breast. At first I though naw its just that cyst and maybe it has more fluid in it. made a routine call to the Cancer Agency got voice mail... stated my concern and asked to have my oncologist call me or set up an appointment. Called again that same day. No response! About a week later it seemed bigger... Made a call again ( f-----g voice mail) with all the details and stated I was extremely concerned and I needed to speak with someone about it. no response again. I got busy and had to set my worries aside for a while. It was the beginning of july and I made another call stating it was urgent I get a sooner appointment with my Oncologist. No response!!!!! So around the 1st week of August I ranted on the phone and FINALLY got someone to call me back only to say they couldnt fit me in earlier and my best bet was to wait till my Aug 28 MRI... at this point its no longer a lump but a mass and in my heart I know its cancer. Had the MRI and as my Oncologist was on vacation they wouldnt give me the results. Now in the meantime I have found out my mom is being tested for an Ovarian mass and they were 90 % possitive (maybe more like 100% but couldnt say) that it was cancer. They even booked her chemo date before the results were in. I told her I would be there for her for her first chemo (she's a 3 hr flight away) and I was hoping my would end up being nothing..... So I got on the phone and harrassed every person I could to push the mri results through and have ANY doctor give me the results on the phone. I finally got to the right person (my oncologists personal secretary) and had her working on it. They pushed for the results and then I got the call. A Dr at the Cancer Agency called me late in the afternoon of Sept 2 They were sure it was cancer and they wanted to do a whole ton of tests immediately.

 Sept 3rd I kept my appointment with my hairdresser as this was my first real hairstyle cut I had since my last Chemo A really cute layered bob that got ris of all the scraggy chemo curls. It made ME feel better & thats all that mattered. I would have nice hair for a month (maybe)

Sept 4th Ultrasound guided core biopsy on the large tumor

Sept 9th Full body CT scan

Sept 10 Bloodwork saw my Oncologist,went over treatment (chemo, rads, then maybe surgery) went back to cancer agency to have a needle biopsy on a node or lump in my neck then straight to have my heart rythm tested.

Sept 11 The needle biopsy the day before is cancer. I go for a full body bone scan. I phone over to my Oncs receptionist and asked if they had faxed in my port request yet (umm no) but chemo is tenatively booked for monday. I asked her to get it faxed immediately as I was going over to the pre op area for ports and was gonna get one come hell or high water. Went over there and explained my situation. The receptionist said no the earliest they could get me in was the END OF OCTOBER..... Ummm no, I need it today and I can wait all day if needed. She thought for a sec sat me in a chair and said wait right here Im making some calls. 5 minutes later she came running out asking if I had eaten today (no as I had the bone scan really early) She had found a vascular surgeon, 4 nurses and an operating room for right this minute. So I was signing the paperwork as I was stripping down for a lovely hospital gown and was rushed by wheelchair to the operating room for the port.. there was a few minor complications, I think they had to reset the tube/wire 3 times also I dont think they really gave the freezing time to set in as I could feel a lot of what they were doing (nothing like the last port I had) but whatever, Im thinking it might have been more difficult cause that side was radiated in 08. Had my son come to the hospital to drive me & my car home. My Oncologist calls me in the evening to tell me she had changed her mind on my chemo cocktail after consulting with many other Oncs online

Sept 13, I start my Dexamethasone (2 pills 8am & 2 pills 8pm) So am now hopped up on steroids and will go for my first chemo 9am tomorrow.

Sept 14 will be chemo 9am

Sept 15 Mammo & ultrasound for markers (also my mums first chemo)

Sept 18 Mugga scan

So Now Ive vented

DX so far is not all in yet.. so this is tenative

Stage 3 ER weakly possitive (10%) PR negative and her2 equivical (all need retesting)

Dont know tumor size yet, but mass in breast is about 1/3 of my breast (im a D) definately one node under arm and one above the colar bone in my neck

So here I am again! Im also posting this on the main chemo board.

Love & Hugs Suz

I know how angry I am, having read all that you went thru... I can't imagine how angry (completely weak word) you must be.

But in typical Suz fashion, you are moving onwards and upwards. Taking it one step at a time and doing what needs to be done to get this thing going.

 Love ya, buddy.

-Sal

Kept my wig too (just in case I ever...). Great idea, Amy... could you use a spare wig or two? You could have your own fashion show of wigs to choose from. No clue what size it is, but if the fashion was something you liked, it's yours!

Hope today went as well as could be expected. Looking forward to hearing from you once you get "settled in" and feel better.

Hugs, Sal

Oh I forgot about the wigs... So far I have the really good natural looking real hair one that I bought last time. Also picked up a new darker longer real hair wig for free from the cancer agency. Needs a good style and some bangs but will make a nice outdoor with a funky cap duo. Lol dh & ds laughed at me and called me a hippy chick. It does kinda look like that with the tam on, but its fun. Im donating any others that I didnt wear to the cancer agency. And maybe will find a funky shoulder length wavey synetic one.

Hats well I know how to gets tons of hats. Have about 15-20 new ones already But plan on sendind most to my mum. I already know what I liked to wear that was comfortable daytime & nightime. So am picking those out for myself. But most to send to her.

For now I think I have things under control. Being in that area of town so often these last few weeks gave me a chance to dig though a few boxes and find some nice stuff. We also now have a bin of new knitted & donated hats in every chemo room (lol for people with numb hands), snack rooms and family counceling room as well as across the street at the cancer lodge. This has expanded incredibly from my last round.

Time to run as I need to do a ton of chores & shopping today as this might be my last "good one" before" I crash (hopefully not) Love ya all, Hugs Sue

My Dearest Bestest Buddies & Friends,

What would I have done without you all!

I was restless last night and since I've started posting here again on the stage IV forum, I thought I would read a few of our early posts. Well.. once I started I couldn't stop, I read the whole thing... my gosh, I spent the whole night here and laughed, cried, giggled, smiled & cried again like my heart was breaking when I got close to the end. Our Dec Angel Joy. 

I cant believe its been 4 years since we started this ride and I couldn't be happier that most of us have continued to stay in touch on facebook and are able to keep in touch with whats going on in real life as well as life's bookmarks. You gals will always be so very special to me. I continue to pray that you will all have blessed lives as you so much deserve it.

This was probably one of the most difficult, emotional and rewarding things Ive done in a long time. To actually go there mentally & emotionally and live out that first year. I'm so very glad I did it. This is where I learned to truly trust.. and to lean on a safe shoulder as well as be embraced in the most heartfelt hugs. Finding that this was that soft place to land when things became to much. Vent our hearts out knowing we would not be criticized for it, as well as laugh & laugh & laugh as we got to really know each other, without ever meeting! That's pretty darn incredible if you ask me.

Being December I just want to say thank you, with all my heart! I could never have come this far without your support, love strength & laughter. Lol, My Dec 07 Sisters. I believe you made me a  better, stronger & kinder person. I'm sending you all my love, wishing you all incredible health, strength and laughter. And of course it wouldn't be from me if I didn't send you the warmest heart felt hugs... because I believe in hugs.

Love & Hugs Suz

(aka, Susie, Suzy Q and formally Susan Holm)

Edited to say 4 years not 3  oops chemo brain says I cant do the math