Starting Chemo May 2008

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  • rock
    rock Member Posts: 1,486
    edited January 2009

    RanD -- It is so incredibly good to hear from you again, even though (like the others), I am gob-smacked by the bucket of crappiness you have had dumped over your head. Though I am really impressed with the way you persisted, and refused to take the doctors' word as the final answer and checking yourself into the hospital.  GO, YOU.

    You know what? I'm not sure that it is worth the time to re-read 40 pages of old posts.  Feel free to skip my posts, as most of them were just me whining about crap that sorted itself out in the end. I did NOT have liters of fluid drained out of my lung, for instance.  A colonoscopy? Yes. A 3 am CT? Spots where spots should not be? No.

    Okay, I'm babbling over here.  Basically, RanD, I am just so da*ned happy to hear from you.  (I posted a "thinking about RanD" comment less than 24 hours ago on another thread. How weird is that?!) xoxoxox

     P.S. Karin! Such hair! It's lovely!  And I want to go on record saying "I envy your good bone structure."

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  • ellenoire
    ellenoire Member Posts: 674
    edited January 2009

    yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck! RanD we love you! No apologies!

    xoN

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  • drcrisc
    drcrisc Member Posts: 836
    edited January 2009

    RanD - Oh, man.  Shite, shite, shite.  Had to read your post several times for it all to sink in.  What an utterly crappy, sucky way to begin a new year.  I am still dumbfounded at the ineptness of the rad onc.  HELLLLOOOO???  (Maybe we should tell Oprah about that!)  Prayers are flying your way and I, for one, would bug the hell out of whoever was holding my test results.  Most large medical centers do not shut their labs down because of a "holiday" - I think they tell us that crap to keep us from bugging them.  Bug away!  Wednesday, indeed - I think NOT.

    Rock - Really glad that you are safe (and hopefully warmer!) in Cape Town.

    Eddie - Why am I not surprised that you wrote to Oprah?!  Love it!  And Kristy, I love that you wrote another one!!  I think we should all write in - maybe that will get their attention.

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  • KristyAnn
    KristyAnn Member Posts: 793
    edited January 2009

    I wrote my letter on Oprah.com under the heading of Makeovers- I thought why not? Explained about hair loss, mastectomies, lumpectomies etc and said our whole group would jump at the opportunity!

    RanD - if you are not opposed, PM your snail mail to Jen a nd let her know whether she can send it out to us- I would love to send you cards during your upcoming days. I have loved the cards and little notes etc during my surgery - sometimes its the only bright spot or laugh on some tough days!

    Kristy

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  • Roxi65229
    Roxi65229 Member Posts: 462
    edited January 2009

    RanD,

    I echo everyone's comments. I read your return early this morning before work and didn't have time to respond. I can't imagine the doctors talking to you in front of your son. I'm so sorry to hear about the non compassionate SOB. Life is full of difficulties and there is a time and a place that the doc should have discussed this with you. So wrong. Please know I think and pray for you often, all my booby buddies. We are strong...together.

    Yes, please send your address to Jen. I would love to write.

    Mary 

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  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 6,099
    edited January 2009

    RanD, I just read your post about an hour ago.  I can't come up with the right words.  I've written this reply 3 times already, and erased it each time.  So I figured I should just tell you what I'm thinking.

    I want to tell you how worried we've all been.  You can see that concern if you ever decide to wade back through 3 months worth of posts.  Please don't feel like you need to "catch up" by reading all those pages, though.  Friends don't need to spend time catching up--if they want to, they can just plug in wherever they happen to be, and it will feel like they've never been away.

    Of course, we were all hoping things were going smoothly, and the reason we hadn't heard from you was because you were too busy and/or having too much fun.  (The "fun" part is too much to hope for during rads, of course.)

    I want to say how glad I am (we all are) that you've let us know what's going on.  The news is not what we were wanting to hear, so if you listen closely, you will hear a lot of cursing (using creative euphemisms, thanks to Kerry) and more than a little crying from your May "chemo buddies" (that's what my husband calls everyone here).  But, as you know, we try to stick together when the news is not good, so we can lean on each other and help each other across the river.

    Surely there is a non-oncological explanation for what's going on in your lungs.  It sounds weird to hope for a dx of pneumonia, but if that's what it takes, that's what we'll do.  If the dx does turn out to be bad, at least you know there is support on the Mets/recurrence board, and of course we'll all be here for you.

    I'm sending hugs and warm wishes your way.  Please consider sending Sable/Jen your snail mail address, so you'll be on the May chemo list.

    Big hugs from the Gulf Coast....and "hi" to everybody else!

    otter 

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  • Jeano77
    Jeano77 Member Posts: 237
    edited January 2009

    RanD - I was so happy to see your avatar and so sad to read your post.  You have been truly missed by all.  I have been praying for you and your family and I will continue to do so.  I am sorry to hear of the incompetence of the rad onc . . . .that was so wrong for that doc to talk in front of your son.  We are sending strength your way!

    The May chemo ladies are known to my family as my "breast buddies".  They love you as much as I do because they understand the support and energy that I get from all of you.

    Lots of love, Jean

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  • ranD
    ranD Member Posts: 373
    edited January 2009

    Hey, stop it, you will make me start crying again!!!!!

    Thanks for all the shout outs and prayers...love you all back...

    I did call today, but the onc office was closed.  But, ready for this?  I had 2 messages on my cell from the rad onc 's nurse asking how I was doing?? WTF?? DId I calll back, nope, don;t think she wanted to hear from me just now...but they will.  My chemo doc called and left them a total WTF and how negligent can you be message.  I am now seriously thinking about filing a lawsuit just to get them to wake the freak up, can you imagine all the other people that they pulled this crap on???? My 17 yo ds asked if this means he will get a new car out of the deal...gotta love his optimism!

    BTW, the ONE really good thing just happened today.  My dh's 28 yo daughter who stopped talking to him over 5 years ago, stopped by and after tears and hugs, he now has 2 more grandchildren to spoil and my 6 yo has a new playmate!! WHO HOOOOOOO

    back to my TIVO, still catching up from the hospital weekend.

    Will check in as soon as I know the  results! rand

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  • Jeano77
    Jeano77 Member Posts: 237
    edited January 2009

    Just a few pages to catch up on there!  That would be awesome to finally meet on Oprah!  Actually, it would be awesome to meet with all of you anywhere!

    When I got the call . . . .

    A good friend was dx in December of 2007 and I thought "shite", I think it has been more than a year since my last mammo.  Granted, I am flat as a pancake and had fibrous/ bumpy tissue in the left breast . . .  but told that it was nothing to worry about.  Got the mammo in February and got the famous call back (my first one ever).  They found suspicious calcification.  They showed me the calcification at the call back and I told them how relieved I was that there was not a big lump in the image.  Yes, I am the total dumba$$ did not know you could get cancer in the breast without a lump. 

    Mammo(s), ultrasound(s), MRI followed by the biopsy, having the same 80/20 percentages applied.  The day prior to the call, I truly believed that I did not have bc, what lesson was I to learn from all of this?  On March 26th, I stepped out of a customer meeting to take the call.  The nurse on the other end asked if I was driving . . . . and I immediately knew that the news was not good. 

    My sister and I met with the surgeon that afternoon.  My boob looked like a snow globe - filled with calcification - I immediately knew that the entire breast had to go.  Told the surgeon about a bump that the rad onc(s) had dismissed, one more biopsy and a week later I was told I also had invasive cancer in the same breast.  I was too numb that day to cry, just collecting facts and processing information. 

    Roxi - I love my beer as well, my fav being Newcastle.  I love those brown ale beers.  Yum!  Nurse told me 3 drinks per week max and I am sticking with that. 

    Jean

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  • ranD
    ranD Member Posts: 373
    edited January 2009

    Also, will post the new hairpicture.  It came in pin straight and grey....looks like NOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    So much for the curly hair after chemo, I am so very tired of people commenting about "Where's the curly hair from chemo?"  "Dunno, want to see how striaght my pubes came in as well?????????"

    ran

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  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited January 2009

    ROFL @ RanD!!! too funny. My hair also came in straight and I'm a curly girl! I thought maybe it was from the herceptin but I'm not so sure. Hubs pointed out that my son's hair.... the longer it gets the curlier. Mine has always been long. Eh what the heck... its hair.

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  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited January 2009

    Ok I sent out ranD addy to all that was on the list. :O)

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  • Roxi65229
    Roxi65229 Member Posts: 462
    edited January 2009

    3 a week? Now that's more like it!  

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  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited January 2009

    this forum really needs to have a "send to more than one at a time" pm thingy... whew!

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  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited January 2009

    Was watching part of the innauguration stuff this morning..... couldn't help but think of rock. Betting that is she was in the states she would be in the middle of all those people, grinning ear to ear, with that cute little grin she has. It's a day for the history books.

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  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    Wall coming together

    This morning it was too cold to do my morning ritual of sitting on the front porch and watching the birds as I drink my coffee. Instead I sat in my living room and enjoyed my first cup of the day with, Mary, Eddie, Heather, Jackie, Jen and Kerry.  I thought of the rest of you but you were missing from my wall. Hoping to get pics from the rest of you soon. It really does bring you here closer.

    If you all would like to do the same; if I don't have your email address already, PM me with it and I will compile a master list to PM to all. Just a thought. I know Kerry already has an idea of how she wants to display her collection of pics.

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  • KristyAnn
    KristyAnn Member Posts: 793
    edited January 2009

    Karin,

    My photo is in your inbox lol- its an old one with hair- I need to get some new ones with this short stuff on my head lol.

    Noelle, I just got a package- HOW WONDERFUL! Ive already busted out the shea for my chapped hands. Thank you so much!

    Im making turkey and dressing for dinner - now this is an all day ordeal with my surgery recuperation but so far I am on schedule. Its a turkey breast and it is in one of those cooking bags- hubby helped me get it into the bag and the bag into the pan before he left for work since I cant lift that 9 lb turkey breast yet- daughter is going to put it in the overn after school. I did get cornbread dressing made- took all morning- and I think the only other thing I will make is either green beans or broccoli. Oh how I would love to be a stay at home mom!

    Have a great day everyone- come on over for dinner if you want!

    Kristy

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  • ellenoire
    ellenoire Member Posts: 674
    edited January 2009

    Kristy! I will be there for dinner!

    Love to all. Today is a good day! 

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  • Roxi65229
    Roxi65229 Member Posts: 462
    edited January 2009

    Yum, what time is dinner? Those cooking bags are amazing. My 26 lb turkey was done at Christmas in 5 hours!

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  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited January 2009

    OMG! one of my lifelong dreams just came true! I have always wanted to drive a jaguar.... my boss bought one today! eeekkkkk! I got to drive it for a little bit. Man its nice. 6 years old and only paid $10,000 for it. That was a shocker. It looks brand new too. Now I only have to go to alaska to see northern lights, go to yellowstone park and maybe go overseas and I'm covered lol

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  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    Jen, In all your excitement about driving the jag you forgot to add our May Group get together to your list of "Now I only have to". Thats OK we'll let you slide this time, LOL

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  • sueper13
    sueper13 Member Posts: 1,224
    edited January 2009

    RanD--my hair came back straight as well, but now is starting to curl...but growing SOOOOO slowly.  Like you said, it's hair.

    Karin. sent you a pic. Jen, I can see you in a Jag, daulink.  Noelle, love you, miss you. ROCK.  You leave a big hole. girlfirend.  Check in when you can and don't worry about catching up, just tell us what you are doing!!!!!! Love you much. Eddie, please ramble, I miss it.  Cris, HI!  Need a shovel?

    Miss all you guys like mad.

    Saw a plastic surgeon today.  Liked him.  Then went home and told hubby I let another man take nekkid pictures of me.....

    Love you all!!

    Sue

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  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited January 2009

    Oopsie, ya I forgot the meeting... but in my defense I was blinded by a TON of buttons to push and real leather dashboard LOL

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  • ewesterman
    ewesterman Member Posts: 417
    edited January 2009

    Okay, Sue, you asked for it.

    RanD, I cannot tell you how much I missed seeing your avatar and hearing from you. The hardest part of "dropping out" for a while is that I imagine everything from the best to the worst. We have all been praying and/or hoping and/or imagining your return and here you are. My dear friend...no one ought to be going through the EXTRA shit you are dealing with in addition to the health issues. It is a crying shame that you are dealing with it at all. I implore you to let us know how you are doing when you can and I beg you to PM someone just to say you're around if you don't have the time/energy/inclination to write. I missed you so. We all did. We are anxious to hear the results and we are all carrying shovels to smack the heads of those who (*&$ed you over. How DARE they say anything with a child in the room. How FUCKING CLUELESS. Sorry. I love you and will be thinking, praying and willing things to be better for you.

    Obama stuff -- sigh. I hope for better health care. I hope for better schools for all children. I hope for peace and an international reputation that is restored. My highlight was the music and the poetry. I dream of better days but I know it will take a long time. Just as we have to be patient with our healing bodies, we have to be patient with a healing world.

    Movies -- I have seen most of them. Still missing a few but check in with me if you're going to see one and I'll share my commentary. 

    Hair -- like some of you ahead of Jen and me in the hair department, my hair is beginning to be "unruly" and like some of you, it cracks me up. I don't want to cut it, but it looks so funny. Jen, it looks some like yours...

    Femara, so far okay. Also taking 2000 mg of D; 1000 mg of Calcium; Glutawhatever the hell it's called that we took during taxol to help with joints and fish oil just because I want to be smarter. I have gone from never taking anything in my life to one pill and six vitamins a day. Whatever it takes.

    Oprah, keep writin; keep dreaming; I doubt it's going to happen, but it was fun to write about us and I suggest an all-out campaign to get us on. :)

    I love you all and think of you often. Since Oprah probably won't come through, it might be time to consider a reunion of some sort in the late summer? Let's think on that. ranD....glad you are back.

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  • rock
    rock Member Posts: 1,486
    edited January 2009

    A quickie. Spent the night with ex-pats watching the inauguration. it was an All-American affair with burgers on the grill and mac and cheese and even Budweiser (though you can get a really good bottle of wine for $4!).

    Eddie, you just reminded me to take my vitamins. And I am having a horrible time every day keeping track of whether I took my Tamoxifen or not.  I need to get on it!

    Off to talk to brokers about apartments...

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  • drcrisc
    drcrisc Member Posts: 836
    edited January 2009

    Eddie - Love the rambling - keep it up.

    Sue - Glad to see you, too.  And I think RanD is the one who needs the shovels.  I have extra.  All is quiet on my shovel front.

    Rock - I thought of you all throughout the day today.  It was a good a day.

    Jen - How exciting!  A jag - cool!!

    RanD - I was so glad to hear some good news came you way.  That is the best present!  But please update us on the other stuff when you know.  They said tomorrow, right?

    Okay, I swear I'm writing to Oprah.  By the way, did you all know (as I did not) that the vice president's wife started a program in 1993 to educate high school girls about good breast health?  Apparently this was after four of her friends were diagnosed with bc.  Yes, leave it to me to find random facts! 

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  • ranD
    ranD Member Posts: 373
    edited January 2009

    Just a quick good night to all of you.  Havent heard anything at all, so I will call again in the morning.(after I write to Oprah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

    love y'all, randie

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  • Roxi65229
    Roxi65229 Member Posts: 462
    edited January 2009

    I'll write to Oprah too. I'm assuming you'll used our stage name "May Chemo Girls" or did you use something else to identify us with? Lord knows there's a bunch of stuff out there we could call ourselves...

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  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited January 2009

    mmmmmm aahhhhhh OH! mmmmmmm ahhhhhhhhh mmmmmmmmm I just got my box from noelle WOW! OMG it smells so frickin good! Thank you so much sweetie! mmmmmmm ahhhhhhh

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  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited January 2009

    Pill Yes/No???

    To help me because I too had that problem, bought one of those weekly pill boxes. I take it from there then I can see if I took it or not. Not sure whether to blame it on old age, chemo brain or CRAFTs disease. For those that don't know CRAFTs is Can't Remember A F------- Thing! Hope I didn't offend anyone.

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