Finished treatments now what?

Hi cdean....I think you have been reading my journal!   While I am at a different stage of this disease, you and I (and MANY others I understand) are experiencing that walk through wonderland after treatment. We had felt some degree of control over this disease and now what?  We find a way to LIVE AND wait and see.  I finished chemo in December and started on Tamoxifen and have now entered the wonderful world of menopause...with hot flashes and bouts of sadness.  But I share your feelings and concern.  There are a number of things I am finding that work for me to stay in balance...firstly, I need to acknowledge my fears and I journal them.  No point in hiding them from myself, they just creep up when I am not looking!  I need to talk to others with similar situations...this is a great web site!  But I also need to talk to someone who knows about my cancer who can help me put things in perspective.  While I don't expect my oncologist to deal with the emotions of cancer, I do get as much factual information from her as I can.  And, I am lucky to have a social worker attached to my health file who can help me understand what the oncologist said and than can also help with my emotional needs.  I am on the hunt for a good psycologist cause I firmly believe that over 70% of health is in the head!  I try to stay focussed on my short short term goals, and sometimes those are the ones I have for today.  I do not let myself stay in bed or continue with behaviours that I know are depressing. I sometimes have to yell "stop" to myself when then thoughts are taking me down the "what if" roads that I have been on before.   And this isn't an easy thing to do on my own!  I have gathered a support network of friends and family and they were really IN my life at the beginning of the diagnosis but have now gone on to live their lives...SO I have to ASK them for what I need....I am the one who has to make the phone calls even when I would rather not talk to any one.  I keep a daily record of how my body is feeling and how I am emotionally.  I keep a daily journal of who I talked to and what thoughts are going through my head when I am not looking....these tend to be fears and agendas that need to be addressed.  I know journaling is not for everyone, but this kind of daily self care mostly keeps me aware of what's going on with myself...and if I am feeling sad I have some insight.  I've posted a similiar question as yours in another thread (the one that deals with metastatic bc) and hope for some insights from others.  I also need to start a bc support group in our local community...I don't want to faciliate it but I know a support group of bc survivors is a critical piece missing from my life.  And, like I inferred, even after doing each of these behaviours, I sometimes still end up scared and blue...and that's when I start asking about whether or not an anti-depressant med is warranted.  I am still trying to decide on that one, so will follow the responses to your question and mine, and hope to hear from others.  Knowing that others have road on this roller coaster and suvived helps me realize that "this too shall pass."  And for me personally, I need to be DOING ...doing for myself and others....sometimes the doing for me is related to bc research but sometimes it is about starting to do something new that interests me. Like you said, deciding what this "new normal" looks like on a day to day basis.  What a journey!  Please keep sharing... it can be really grounding.  Hugs, prayers and best wishes,

Debra M.

Cdean - does your onc plan on continued follow up visits?  My BS follows patients every 6 months till year 2, then goes to annual visits forever, but will stay at every 6 months if the patient requests.  Onc also follows patient every 3 months till year 3, then every 6 months and after 5 years annually.  I would talk to your BS and onc to see what their protocol is.