Starting Chemo May 2008
Comments
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Welcome Julie from the WI/IL border....hope to see more of you here.
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Hi Everyone,
I had mashed potatoes and gravy my first night home (thanks Mom and Chicken Express)!
I had a routine mammogram end of Feb 08, got called back but didnt really worry since that had happened before when I lolst weight. Went for the followup and ultrasound and the doc wanted a biopsy the next day (I started worrying here). He ended up doing two biopsies since he located another suspicious spot during the ultrasound. I had to call them the next week since my own ob.gyn did not call me with the results when the radiologist reported to them. That was on Tuesday March 18 - saw a surgeon the next Monday - Day after Easter for the church pianist(that was a rough service) and had surgery on Thursday March 27.
I have my first post mammogram on Feb 12!
We need to email Oprah about a reunion show- that would be a hoot!
Kristy
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I am D.A.T. I willl tell my tale on the morrow my lovely ladies. I just spent the night learning about a new health product that will hopefully help me past the financial hump of these crappy sales days at the store.
Hi Julie!
N
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Here is my story......
Last february I started having severe pain at the top of my left breast and kinda felt a hard spot. I did some research and found out that caffiene will cause this to happen. I had been drinking that new pepsi max daily for a bit and chaulked it up to that. I stopped with the caffiene and the pain went away and the bump went down in size. A month later it swelled a bit more and was hurting again so I made an appt with the gyn. Had my exam and she said it was most likely nothing and was probably the caffiene as well. She sent me for a mammo, who said it looked like a cyst and should probably get it out. They sent me to a surgeon who also said it was most likely a cyst but he wanted to get a biopsy on it "Would I like to have one done right then and there?". Nothing like a surprise biopsy. He called me back 3 days later with the bad news and highly suggested a mastectomy but it was my choice. Turns out it was a good choice. I had 2 large lumps and a smaller one that had not been detected. My cancerversary is march 11th.
Today.... Had my herceptin. Normally I get stuck by 1 of 2 ladies and that is it because of all the problems with my port. Today while waiting to see the doc, they took my blood pressure etc and the lady says I'll send somebody in to access your port. I didn't think anything of it and expected to see my nurse lisa come thru the door. They sent in a totally different lady I've not worked with before. The scared me a bit and told her she had one poke chance and if she missed she had to send in lisa. Hubby said I was mean sounding when I said it so I had to apologize later, I had guilt lol. She got me set up in one poke YAY! and away I went to the infusion room. Lisa looks up and sees me and starts to head over, then sees I am hooked up. We talk for a few minutes and she goes back to work. Once I was all done for the day she catches us and was quite upset she didn't get me today. I guess she got onto the other lady and said that I belong to her. It made me feel good. She is like my guardian angel throughout this whole ordeal. Gonna have to get her something special on my last day, maybe I'll take her in flowers that day.
Also got a new script for a different anti-depress today. This one is only $9 a month. Why they didn't give me that one to start with I'll never know. I pray that it cuts these hot flashes to a minimum and I might start to feel normal again.
OH! something else..... got my results from my tumour marker test from last visit ... I am well within the "normal" range. WOOOHOOO! I can't remember the exact number, all I can recall is hearing "according to your blood you are cancer free". That's all I need :O)
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Hey noelle~ do you make those bath bombs in pedicure size? I told my gf about them and she was asking.
edit: nevermind I found them :O)
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Uh Jen? Anything that reads "Cancer Free" is a huge WOOHOOHOOdamnHOO!
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Hey, I know it sounds weird, but I'm really enjoying reading everyone's story - thanks for indulging me. I have written my story before on the Triple Neg thread (where we have eerily similar stories!), so here's mine...
It's about 3 AM on February 28 (or March 1?). I wake up to pee and somehow brush up against my right breast to feel this "thing" - right on the top, in the 12 o'clock position. Never felt anything like before and hope I never do again. It was at that moment that I knew, like Eddie said, in my heart of hearts. I had had a really stressful 6 months at work and thought "F**K! That place gave me cancer!" I called my PCP the next morning and saw him that day and got the "80%" story. You know, the one that goes something like "Eighty percent of all breast lumps are benign cysts" That was a Friday and I had a mammo (first one ever!) and a US scheduled for the following Tuesday. Apparently, the mammo didn't even pick up the lump we could all feel, but the US did. I got confirmation of my feeling when I saw the radiologist who read the US right after the test. She also gave me the 80% story but said "You need to have a biopsy" and again, I knew. Mind you, I wasn't being negative or a worry-wart (although I touched the damn thing every 15 minutes - "Is it gone? Is it smaller?"). I just knew. I noticed also that the lump didn't hurt until after it got squished during the mammo. Hmmmm... I had a core needle biopsy the following Friday, March 13. And I still remember this conversation with dh while waiting - "Well, if it's nothing, that's okay, We'll just leave it alone." I stared at him and said "Are you kidding me?! I was this thing OUT!"
I got the call from my PCP at work late the next Tuesday afternoon. I knew as soon as I heard him that it was not good and my first thought was "Pay attention, this is life changing information, don't get emotional or you won't remember a thing he says." I don't remember much anyway. Fortunately, it was late enough so there weren't many people at work (everyone can see in our offices for safety's sake) and 2 of my close friends were there. That was the good part. One of them drove me to my mom's house and I called my sister on the way. I called my mom before we got out of the car and made her come outside because I knew I would break down (again) and didn't want to scare the girls. My dh and I met with my surgeon the next day and he said the pathology was not fully conclusive and, like Jen's, offered another on-the-spot needle biopsy. We opted to wait 2 days (Friday again) and have the excisional one instead and I was really glad because that actually ended up being the lumpectomy. ("OUT! Take it OUT!") So, even though the surgeon said it wasn't clear, I still knew. That being said, I also was hopeful someone had been wrong. But when he called me at 6 PM the following Monday, I knew I had been right all along. Damn. Didn't want to be right. The following Monday I had an MRI and the week after that, had a re-excision to get clear margins. Whew. March was quite a month. I may month-long PTSD.
Thanks for listening, girls. I really felt the need to get that out - not sure why, I'm guessing because it's coming to that time of year again.
Jen - I just want to throw in a WOOOOOOHOOOOO for Cancer Free!!!
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Firstly, Jen: Cancer Free. Are there two sweeter words in the English language???I am getting misty for you XXXX Thank God. Cris & Otter, I had almost EXACTLY the same thought process as you..concentrate..take notes..ask questions...maintain control..this is important. I had the lump for 25 years (scar tissue on lumpectomy site) and had a mamm every two years. When I had the Big Drama last Feb, the docs started looking for reasons why I crashed and burned so swiftly. They biopsied the lump (it bent the needle) and it was negative. The breast surgeon was not satisfied, didn't like anything about it (even though the mamms had shown no change) etc etc etc and she wanted to take the lump out, which she did. My clearest memory (in the complete blur) is her coming to the waiting room to call me. Drew stood up as well and I said, "No need to come. Just wait here". She said, "You come too, Drew." That was when I knew and astonishingly I went completely numb. We sat down and she said,"The lump is cancer". I could see Drew out the corner of my eye and I watched his whole persona ripple and shudder and kind of collapse. I couldn't look at him because I would have just lost it. I don't remember any dates and I have no interest in marking The Occasion. In fact, almost every day I feel as though I dreamt this whole mess. I get so much strength and peace from you girls, and so much big love from my man. And my faith envelopes me as well. I don't know why, but I never think "It might come back". Blind optimism? Maybe. But like Eddie I truly feel that we are all going to be around for a long, long time. Eddie, I laughed out loud at the 44444 thing, and your brother telling you that you are not a Chinese family! That was hilarious. Nothing else was, mind you. I just hate it that any of you have to suffer one iota. Noelle, I want you to blow business out of the water. I want you to hit paydirt and to come up with something so exhiliaratingly fantastic that it gets mega press. I hope Oprah hears about it. Actually, have it ready for when we go on the show!!! Anyone happen to have her email address?? I'm going to bed early tonight. Last night at 8 o'clock I decided to have a cup of tea and hop into bed. Or get out some Nick Cave music dvds, drink a bottle of champagne and go to bed at 11.30. Hmmmm. How to choose...Let's just say I was hunting for the headache tablets at 4am!!! Love y'all. Have I told you?
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Not Oprah's but Richard Simmons. Ha! Believe me, a friend contacted him about her Mother and her weight problem. Unfortunately, never got the email back.
Cancer-free, ah! BTW, -20 this morning....warm spell moving in next week. May hit 30!
It pains me to read all our stories but makes me realize how much I really care for you all.
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Jen....Cancer Free...that's music to our ears! Now thats a date to remember!
Some how i can't see myself getting up on the Oprah stage..not one for getting in front of lots of people......sit in the audience maybe ?!
Have a great weekend girls!
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I'm trying not to get all excited over the "cancer free" part. Main doc told me he doesn't consider anyone cancer free until they hit 2 years past. I did have a big sigh of relief though when she said that. I'd hate to get all comfy in the fact and then have something crop up ya know. But on the other hand no matter what there is always that chance. <insert happy dance here> wooohoooo!
Kerry's Schmick/Shite Sliding Scale of good versus crappy things X........................schmick..................shite <- I think that makes it the schiznit lol.
Almost noon here and its a whopping -1.2 outside. When did I move to alaska? The only saving grace is that the more cold cold days there are the less bugs in the summer.
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I just about gave myself a heart attack today. I was reading rock's blog, trying to catch up on what she's been doing besides packing her life up and then freezing her butt off in England....
... and I came upon a post dated January 12 in which she confessed that she'd discovered an almond-sized lump in her breast. My heart sank. I thought, d*mn! Not rock! Not again! And, there she was, worrying about a recurrence while getting ready to head to her Fulbright destination.
(Stop reading ahead. It took me half an hour to figure this out.)
I fretted and stewed, and told my dh about it as I made myself a sandwich for lunch. I couldn't even go back to her blog page. It just made me sick to read that.
But then I realized she'd said something there about not having had an exam lately ... and I knew that couldn't be true. Heck, anyone who's gone through a lumpectomy and chemo and rads has been felt up by everybody 'cept the janitor. Multiple times.
So I looked at the date again ... and, of course, it was January 12, 2008. She had even labeled it a "re-post", but I overlooked that little detail in my trauma of seeing the information for the first time.
Rock, don't think we're not thinking about you. Have you landed yet?
Big hugs...
otter
[Edited to add: Jen, I didn't want to leave out a "congratulations!" for your latest report.]
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Here in Australia no onc worth his/her capacity for poisonings uses the term 'cancer free' or 'all clear', although 'all clear' is more common. I don't think we even get the 'NED' biz, which is actually my favorite. Here we are 'considered treated' and encouraged in all kinds of ways to be vigilant. Kind of takes the gloss off things a bit. But, I reiterate: for some strange reason I believe, (at a cellular level!, with every cell in my body), that all of us are going to ramp up and live until we are really old, really funny old bags (when we can't even remember what the 'shite' part of 'Cancer is Shite' means!) I'm getting cold just reading your temps there, girls. I have woken up to one of those perfectly still, crystal clear days with an expected top of 25C. That's why I love living in Tasmania..30 years of summer temperatures of 35-40C by day, then 25-28C by night (in the state of Victoria) was enough for me. We grew up in a very old, draughty relocated farmhouse and had no cooling, save a fan which was reserved for Dad (who worked his guts out in that heat, and needed to sleep at night.) When we had a heat-wave (eg 10 days of temps over 35C) the floorboards would be hot to walk on, and we would sleep outside on the verandah with wet sheets over us! Here in Tas we get some pretty warm days, and the sun stings here because of the thinner ozone layer, but it's mild really and goes on until the end of April. Last May (!) I was still wearing short sleeves! Has your collective imagination warmed your bones a little? I hope so. Like good health, spring is on its way! XXX ps Why does my cat, who is a black, white and orange tortishell (?) cat insist on shedding only her BLACK hairs on my pale bedding???
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Kerry, Love the avatar, you look amazing!
Noelle, got my gift in the mail...LOVE IT! Thanks so much.
Gotta run, going out with friends to see Cheap Trick, yes we're groupies. I've seen them over 100 times since 1977.
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Hey Julie,
Glad you are here and we look forward to hearing you more.
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Noelle,
Finally opened my box of goods from you. What an amazing wrapping job. All came safely and thanks a zillion for the other stuff. You women GROUND me. See you all on Oprah.
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Jen - congrats from me, too! That's great news. I received a letter after my follow up mammogram and was almost afraid to open it. All was good, but I'm still a little paranoid.
Kerry - love the new avatar and hearing about warmer climes. We got up to about 6 degrees today and the kids had another day off for bitter cold. At the rate we are going, we won't be done with school until the middle of June instead of the end of May.
Thanks for the welcomes and welcome backs. I will definitely write more now that the holidays are over and we are almost back on schedule (weather permitting). I know I can always come here for warmth and support.
Julie
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Okay...so I went on the Oprah site and told them our story. We'll see if they bite.
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You are joking right?
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Eddie-Maybe they will bite--It would be so great to see all of you!
My story-went for my annual exam (at DD & DH's insistence-in fact, DD used her first pre-natal visit as a levering tool--I could go with her and see the ultrasound of the baby, IF I made an appt for my check up). As soon as we walked in the office-she made sure I made the appt--what I didn't know at the time was that DH had felt a small lump, told DD and they ganged up on me. I had not felt anything and when I went on Jan. 30th for my exam, the doc didn't feel it either. Anyway, he gave me the order for my mammogram and it was up to me to make the appt. I kept putting it off and forgetting--work was super stressful at that time, big State investigation over a resident falling and corporate swarming all over the place.........But I finally got the mammo done on Mar.7. I was scheduled to have thermal ablation on my uterus Mar. 25 (wedding anniversary), to stop my heavy, painful periods. Then, on Mar. 11, I got the "call" from the nurse, telling me that I have a mass in my right breast and they were scheduling an ultrasound for the left one because of "suspicious" areas. All I could think of was "why the left if it's the right that has the mass?" And-"Am I still going to have the ablation surgery?" The nurse ended up having the doc call me back and explain further-no ablation surgery, this has to be taken care of first...the ultrasound was to check for some "shadow" areas, that he felt would be nothing. (Turned out to be cysts) What surgeon did I want to see??? DH came in the living room and asked me what the phone call was all about and I just broke down, told him that they had found a mass and I needed to see a surgeon. Then, we broke down together. I think we knew from that moment what we were facing. DH only knew my Mother during the last year of her life-I think that he was more afraid at first than I was. Had the biopsy on Apr. 1 and got the results on the 11th. (Did I say that I really wanted to knock DH out when he finally told me that he had felt the lump and that was why he & DD stayed on me so hard to get my mammo???? He didn't want to scare me-I still get livid when I think about it, sometimes.
Hope that everyone has a great weekend and stays warm. Love you all!
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I was hoping to plant the Oprah seed just to see what you guys thought of it. This would be the perfect group for a very interesting program. I think of all those women out there with no support system and Oprah's program would be great exposure to BC.org.
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How many are in your group?
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I think there are 16 of us give or take. Just asked hubs what he thought if oprah called and invited me to go to her show would he care.... he just rolled his eyes and said sure have fun. Wouldn't that be a hoot if it actually happened. I cannot imagine how wonderful it would be to meet all of you in person. I'd probably stand there and cry and blubber like an idiot.
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How would you get Rock there?
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Hmmm, I would imagine that they set this stuff up in advance by many months. I think rock will be back in the states in 6 months I think. And October is the pink month, that would be the best time I think. Yup, I like to dream big LOL
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I would expect them to fly people in from Australia, Nelson, Toronto, East Texas, Alabama, Kentucky, California, Wisconsin, Ohio, Washington, Michigan, you get the idea...they won't bite, but you women would have loved my story. They only gave me 2000 characters, but of course I rambled on and on. Maybe if they don't bite someone should try again only shorter. Ciao and have a great three day weekend and into the inauguration. Renee, nice to see that avatar. So cute...I have a lot of bald family jokes running through my head -- you know, how two out of three of you will get more hair soon.
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Eddie - did you by chance link them to this thread? We are an amazing group...chin hairs, curly hairs, straight hairs, no hairs, hairs in the wrong places, was there a 2008?, who are you? who am I?, can we get through this?, my doctor doesn't get it, my spouse/partner doesn't get it, I have made great friends for life, why am I so sad?, why am I so happy?, has this been a dream? Feck it all.
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ROFL!!! Now I'm afraid. VERY afraid. What if we were on the Oprah show and she asked where shite, feck etc etc came from??? THE AUSTRALIAN CHAPLAIN???? WTF!!!!!! Oh my sisters..what a blast! Eddie! Good on you!! Well hell..why WOULDN"T she want to talk to us?? There is no squeaky-pink highly polished and coached shite going on here. Just the gritty reality of breast cancer and a group of very funny women who have pulled each other through it ( and continue to.) The ONLY reason she would not do it is because we make bc look like such a fecking laugh! I've laughed till I was dog.ass.tired.
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Here's the email I sent to my girlfriends when I found my lump. I was watching a PBS special at 3 am about stem cell research and it reminded me that I hadn't done a BSE in a while. The (truly cruel) details of what happened afterwards with the first medical contacts are on my blog.
I must say, sisters, it is breaking my heart to read your stories. There is no good way to find out, is there. None at all.
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Sent : Saturday, January 12, 2008 4:07 AM
Subject : Women, check those breasts!Nicola and Jeanne,
I just noticed something that is definitely a lump in my breast. I mean, there is no question. Other places I've paid attention to over the years, well, they did not feel like this. And it's quite large, the size of a small pecan. Oddly, I'm finding this reassuring because this had to come out of nowhere. No, I haven't been doing regular exams, but still, I would have noticed a lump THAT big if it had been around awhile, right?
I've checked webmd. I think it must be a cyst, not anything scarier. I'm going to see if my doctor can (I hate to use this word but . . . ) squeeze me in today.
1. I really am overdue for an exam. I'm supposed to have them every 6 months and well, it has probably been 2-3 years. [18 months, as it turns out]
2. Why haven't I been doing my breast exam like a good woman does?
3. Why do these things always happen at 3 in the morning?!http://women.webmd.com/tc/breast-lumps-topic-overview
Slightly freaked, but hopefully this is just an event designed to focus my attention, or god's punishment for me not being more supportive of hillary.
Whew. I feel much better now. I know it sounds a bit odd, but thank you for being there.
love-o,
jeanne -
I'm in Cape Town. I got here about 2-3 hours ago. Am going to take a nap and then go exploring. Right before I boarded the plane, I sat with my two allowed carry-on bags and just thought of you guys. I thought about you until I could feel you around me, esp my chemo-sister, Adrienne. It was kind of funny, Adrienne, it was so real that I turned to my left to look at you with this big smile on my face which led this shiny portly businessman to think I was flirting with him.
You guys are my secret power. You are what I turn to when I need to be brave.
P.S. Dear Ott, I'm so sorry to have worried you! I really am!
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