Starting Chemo May 2008

Otter~ you could have always said that the light was orange and not quite red yet. Its a running joke in our house on what shade of orange the light was when my husband cruises thru it.

Snowy cold day here in ohio. Supposed to get up to 3 inches of snow, which is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Highs in the lower teens BRR!

Debating on which is more important right now.... pay our mortgage bill or buy groceries. I am due a paycheck from work at the moment but the company does not have the money to pay me. It's happened once or twice and other times I get pay checks before I put in the time. I have a few more days to decide  and I'm hoping work comes thru for me with some money. On the brighter side I will be doing taxes tonight, I believe, and doing those electronically. Those usually get deposited within a week after I file them.

Burned up my new computer at work the other day. I've only had the darn thing for about 3 weeks. We had it sitting on the floor under the desk in an area made for the comp case. With me sitting right next to the door, I have a small space heater behind me. Boss turns it on before I get there so I don't get cold and I flip it off when I leave. Saturday nite we went over to network the comps together and play games, and my computer kept shutting off. Turns out boss had turned on the heater and bumped it to where it faced directly at my computer box. With it being a hopped up computer to run high end graphics programs it puts out alot of heat anyway, then you add the heater into the mix. Thankfully it only zapped my power supply. I didn't realize just how much heat it put out until the computer was gone to the shop. It probably dropped 10 degrees in my corner easily.

Tomorrow is herceptin 5 I think it is.. starting to lose count at this point. Just keeping my eyes on september for when it is all done. I need to figure out if I can get bc.org on my cellphone so I can keep up with you ladies during the day at work. Hubby got me the new samsung behold for cmas, its all touch screen like the iphone. Had to get internet service on it for a month to get my rebate. Personally I'd much rather look at the net on the computer, its like using dialup its so slow on the phone.

Ok enough rambling, just felt like I haven't contributed much lately cause I haven't had anything exciting going on. I do check in multiple times a day cause I am addicted to you ladies! lol

hugs and slobbers

Kristy~ did you get your snail mail from me?

Noelle, so did I.  One year ago today, I had the digital mammo + ultrasound + US-guided biopsy that started this whole thing.

Hey, we're still here, right?  That's a good thing.

Locally, a whiskey 'n 7 (or, "Seven and seven") is whiskey with 7-up.  So it is light and fizzy, just like you said.  I liked whiskey sours when I was young, so maybe the fizzy lemonade would work both ways.  I normally don't drink the "hard stuff"--haven't for decades; but yesterday it just seemed like a good plan. 

Jen/Sable, sorry to hear you fried your 'puter.  Sounds like you gals in the north country are needing more than a space heater.  That cold is coming our way Friday and Saturday mornings:  14 degrees (F) in the Deep South is pretty extreme.  But, it's nothing, compared to that hyphenated stuff that's up north right now.  Brrrrrrr!

Hi, rock!  Another great, new avatar for you!  I just realized, it will be summer where you're going.  That will be nice, compared to the NYC weather this week.  You and Kerry can gloat for the next few months.

And, Jen/Sable borrowed the hair I had last October/November.  That's okay--I was through with it. 

Hugs and slobbers from here, too (or, to borrow a phrase from AlaskaDeb, "Bugs and Fishes")...

otter 

yup still here!

yay! 

 It is 
-11 degrees Celsius here which= 12.2 degrees Fahrenheit

No big deal if you bundle up. 

Otter. Lemonade in Britain is exactly like 7up.  

 this is from the American guide to speaking British... 

 Lemonade - Lemonade in England is a clear, sparkling, lemon flavoured drink that is either drunk as it is or added to lager to make shandy. Seven-up and sprite would both qualify as lemonade in England.

 http://www.effingpot.com/food.shtml

 Gotta run!

N

Noelle, I cannot bring myself to say "happy cancerversary". So instead I will say "Cancer.  It is. And may it not be anymore."

Kristy -- Staples? OW. Heal as fast as you can. Has anyone made you some mashed potatoes and gravy? Because I think that would help you heal.

I am cold and hungry. Basically, I am a character in a Dickens novel. I have not taken off my hat since I got here -- indoors or out.  It's not that it's all THAT cold. It is just ENGLAND.  I am looking forward to my 118 hour flight because the plane should be warmer than I am right now.  Brrrrrrrrrrr.  I feel so bad for women in England who are bald right now.  

Oh girls, more laughs. What amusing feckers we all are. Rock, you look like a mysterious movie star 'of Middle Eastern appearance' (as police reports say here in Australia). Or a traditional singer from Moldovia, or something like that. Def NOT Dickensian, although it must feel like it in those temperatures! It is picture-perfect warm and lovely here. The boys got away camping all right..even though the 15yo sooked and whinged and stayed in his room while Drew and the 2 x 12 yos packed all the gear. I'm glad they're gone..I need a rest..sigh. Not as much as our Kristy, but. Kristy! Hope you're taking it easy and HAVE WE MOVED OUR BOWELS TODAY, M'AM? Just keeping the hospital theme going there for you, Kristy. Happy C-Day, girls! We live to laughhahha at cancer.XXX Got to go and buy some milk..not for my cat Christina (who is sitting on the arm of the couch and resembling a hovercraft) but for my friend Robyn who is coming for a cuppa and some girl-talk. And don't we all love that!

Okay, you wild women....I am going to begin taking femara tonight .... for only five years. Anyone got any advice? Good wishes? Goo to check in with you all. Rock, you look great. Can't write right now, but I will take all femara advice...I don't think any of you are on this, right? Are most of you tamoxafining?

To all of you in the "not fit for human life" temperatures...I send you warm thoughts.  Really really warm thoughts.

Kristy - Staples on your mast??? wow!  I had them on all 3 of my c-sections but couldn't imagine having had them on my chest. 

Noelle - I'm with Rock...kind of hard to be wishing a "happy" anniversary but then....we ARE here thankfully!

Eddie - I've been on Arimidex for several months now.  I'm not sure how Femara compares but for me on the Arimidex...early morning stiffness is my biggest complaint.  I also take Caltrate (supposed to be 2 X day but I only remember one) and Tums with Calcium.  I take the Tums because the Caltrate causes ...ahem...gas.

I had my follow up with my surgeon today.  He says I look great and everything is looking healthy.  I asked for the name of a plastic surgeon.  I'm seriously considering the reconstruction.  Hubby is against it only because it isn't important to him and he doesn't want to see me suffer any more.  I keep thinking...I'm only 44.  Women in my family live a very long time.  I can't see living the rest of my life lopsided.  My prosthetic is uncomforable and rubs on my incision and is harder than my remaining breast.  I just always know its there.  So...I don't wear it ever. So, I will pursue this option...reluctantly.

Hello and warm hugs to everyone!

Wow - lots to catch up on.  Dh was home last night and monopolized the computer. 

It pains me to read about how the economy is hurting everyone.  Dh and I both work for the state of California, which is not doing too well by any means.  We will either get a 10% pay cut for 18 months or "IOU"s instead of paychecks next month.  Great.

Rock - Love the avatar and hope you warmed up!

Noelle and Otter - I, for one, am particularly glad you are both still here.  I think all of us are.  There is a local commercial for a cancer center that has people saying the phrase "I found out on the [insert day of choice, i.e., first day of school, day I returned from my honeymoon, day of our family reunion]" and it makes me think of us at that time.  So, not to be morbid, but I would like to hear what it was like/we were doing when we got "the news".  I will post mine soon, but the arm is starting to hurt again.  Probably should do something about that...

Renee - Lurk all you want.  And I like the Oprah idea!

I'm in for the TV reunion, but prefer Dr. Phil to Oprah.....you are right, Renee, we are very lucky here to have each other.

I found a lump, went to my gyno, got scheduled for a mammo.  At my mammo center they read it right then. They told me they wanted another mammo of the left breast.  They told me they wanted to do an ultrasound.  In the ultrasound room was a female technician and a female trainee, and we were joking around while the gel was placed on my breast.  When she placed the wand on my breast, they both immediately got profoundly quiet.  Although I wasn't officially given the news for five more days, that is when I knew.  I was at work when I got the official news. I told my husband on the phone. I went downstairs and found a woman, any woman, and told her and cried.  On a very deep level I still have trouble believing it.

Off to Georgia for a few days, and I'll be offline.  Love you guys and I will miss you.  Back on Sunday (that's Monday for you, Kerry)

Sue

Noelle thanks so much for the package that just arrived...it was like christmas all over again. I won't mention whats in it for those who haven't recieved theirs yet,,,,but one of those things I will be using right away as my arm has been achy lately and it looks like this is just what i need. Thanks sweetie!

Hmmmm...let me think back,  found the lump in the shower at the end of January, obsessed over it for a couple weeks thinking that tomorrow it wouldn't be there...finally went to doc in beginning of Feb. , mammo & ultrasound on Feb. 14 ( I could clearly see a mass on the ultrasound so had an inkling of how this might play out)...Feb 28 had needle biopsy......March 4 while driving my daughter to an appt. got the call on the cell phone told them i would call back.(can't talk and drive and it's a good thing cause that info would of sent me into the curb or another car!) Got dd into appt. returned the surgeons call and got the info that would change my life forever and i was to see him in 2 days to discuss our options.....It was a beautiful day and i was down by the water so just went for a walk and pondered what was ahead. I remember that phone call like it was yesterday.

On a tastier note...beverage of choice...an ice cold beer on the beach or with popcorn watching a thunderstorm.  Also i must admit i love my ceasars...vodka, clam juice , tobasco , worsteschire and lemon...and in my more refined moments a glass of white wine.

Renee good luck with your journey...the info and the friendships that have been made here is invaluable...there are good things that can come out of the bad! 

While i sit with my balmy 2 deg. celsius outside (around 35 F) i feel for all of you getting hit with the cold weather.. bundle up and stay warm! 

On to the laundry, dishes and all that other stuff i say i will do later...cheers! 

Much like Angels, I found mine in the shower in early February.  I was hoping it would go away after my menstrual cycle but no such luck.  I fretted over it for several weeks after my period.  I didn't say anything to anybody.  February is a bad month for my family.  My late husband died in February as did my grandmother, so I just couldn't handle even bringing it up in that month.  I couldn't do that to my kids who have already lost enough.  DH knew something was wrong so I finally told him.  March 14, I saw our GP.  March 31, lumpectomy.  April 3rd, I got the dreaded call telling me that I had breast cancer.  I was at home and for some reason my DH happened to be home that day, thank God.  I don't remember much about the call beyond that.  I balled for hours.  My family balled with me.  Even though my son didn't understand, he knew the family was in distress.  Doctor had told me they couldn't get any clear margins, so the next day made the decision, after consult with the doc, to do the mastectomy.  That happened on April 10.  And here we all are today.

Renee, we have formed such deep friendships here, welcome and I hope your group connects like we did. It really eased my pain throughout the entire cancer "interruption". 

I never found a lump. Had a suspicious cyst in 2007 and we watched it until my mammo in 2008. I reminded my doctor about the cyst and she wrote an open order for a mammo, ultrasound and biopsy if needed. Never expected anything. Had the ultrasound before and was even joined with the radiologist both times. This time seemed different though. The cyst was nothing, instead they saw microcalcifications which sent me for the biopsy. Mammo was February 15th, biopsy was March 18, got the call at work on Friday, the 21st. It was DCIS at that point. My trip to the cancer center March 27th got me the MRI that found the tumor. April 2, lumpectomy. After staging of lump and clear margins, opted for mastectomy April 23.  

Otter, thanks for FACE link. Kerry and Adrienne, keep me posted. I have take a total of ONE Femara so far. Will keep you all posted as well.

I fell 800 feet down a mountain last February. It was wild then I got up and skiied away. March 15 I was feeling around because I still had minor injuries and was checking to see what bruises were gone and what were not. I found the lump. I figured I had checked it out because I always had a lump of some sort. I asked my friend, an onc, if I should go in...she said, yah, but don't sweat it. I went in at the end of March. I moved all of my stuff from Federal Way, WA to Seattle (because they said it would take 10 days for a biopsy appt and Seattle could give me one a couple of days later). I woke up at 4:44 AM on 4/4 and knew it was cancer as 4 means death in China. I called my brother to tell him and he said that we were not Chinese, but more Native American where 4 is a lucky number. The call came in that morning at work from a nurse who knew NOT how to tell me. She, too, had a script and she was doing the best she could. Even though I already knew I had cancer in my heart of hearts (even the doc doing the biopsy was giving me a phone number for a surgeon) it was still a shocker. My cancer bully friend, Dottie, was nearby and I just remember walking into an office (not Dottie's) and shutting the door and crying. It was awful. That whole first night I kept weeping and saying I wanted to live and I wanted to see my grandkids someday. Each day got a little easier but the first days were darkest as well as the first days of chemo. Now I am convinced we are all going to live a long, long, long time.

Good evening brave women of May.  I still don't post much, but look in on you all every day.  I feel like I know everyone and amost felt like I could have been with Noelle and Rock last week.  You all write such sincere, heartfelt thoughts - just like a regular conversation.  I admire the feats of bravery that occurred during this last year and can't believe it's time to relive that year as the monumental dates arrive.  This week I made my annual gyn appointment which happens to fall on the same date as last year which lead to the mammogram that lead to the U/S which led to ...

Kind of like the story "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly".  I didn't feel my lump.  I went for a gyn appt because I was just few years behind on the check ups and my 93 yo grandmother found out she had bc.  No one else felt my lump, either. It showed on the mammogram. I found out the day before my grandma died that I needed to have a biopsy.  Her birthday was January 31 so there are reminders of her and of my ordeal just about month.

But, as you've all said, we are here to start this new year.  My hair is on its way back with a lot of gray and curls and could pass as an intended style.  I say it is the most expensive perm I've ever had (around $60,000 for chemo) and I have ONE tan boob that cost about the same.  I'm still trying to keep a sense of humor and enjoy the funny quips I've read here.

Weather in central Illinois today - high of 0 with wind chill of -15 to -30 and kids were home - just when I had gotten used to them being back on schedule.

I'll try to participate more in the group this year!

Thanks for listening,

Julie

Thanks, Otter!

I finished rads in early October and then made it through my first mammogram and follow up appointments. I still seem to have issues that my family doesn't get and I still just feel comfortable here.  This is just a great place to belong!

Julie