Hi June. Sorry to hear about your situation, it is very unpleasant to say the least - and it makes one feel "undesirable" and "useless" - I know.

Your letter sounds fine - and a very good way to turn things around. I have a couple of comments:

1. consider calling one of your doctors - preferably an onc who knows you well - and talking it out with him/her - mentioning how much the post chemo left you feeling tired, and how much you enjoy working part time. Ask her if she would write you a recommendation to work part time (in the form of friendly advice). You could then use the letter RIGHT AWAY with your work, showing why in good faith you prefer to remain part time. I don't remember if you are on Herceptin and/or Tamox, but if you are, those are both two excellent reasons to remain part time.

2. find a lawyer for a quick chat, and see if he has any suggestion on how to go ahead. Paying a couple of hours of a lawyer at this stage may help you to find the right words...

Remember that equal opportunities law stands also for cancer victims - they cannot discriminate. So if you have a collegue who is also part time and can remain part time - there you have your case.

Definitely, I would not accept. Because given the past, if you accept this, the VP will come up with more requests. You could even say to your administrator that you cannot see how this will be the last request, and that you all the more reluctant to accept as the last time you showed your good will to help out, you got bitten in the back and requested to work more than you currently feel able to given your health situation - and that if that is a problem, than you would consider it discrimination.

Hopefully, that should shut them up???

Hey all of you,

Thanks so much for the advice and thoughts.  lilith, I have an appt. tomorrow with a brand new oncologist because I'm one of the lucky ones who has had a clone from h---.  I don't know if she would be willing to give me anything in writing this soon in our relationship.  I have purposedly kept my original appt. later this month with the old oncologist but my feeling is she wouldn't give me anything if there's a way around it.  I am going to be "miss cool" until I get an answer from them.  Then I think I will proceed based on their answer. I have 180 days from the time of the discrimination to file a complaint with the ADA and will not hesitate to do so if necessary. Do you all agree with this approach?  I'm just so hoping that it doesn't come to that.  I have spent my entire career being the 'champion of the under dog' and advocating for any client I have had.........why can't people just do what's right? I don't expect an answer ladies for I truly am grounded in the reality of what our world is today...sigh.

I love you all

June

Hey All,

DH and I just got home from my appt. with the new oncologist.  Things went well and I am very very encouraged.  She walked into the exam room on the dot (am used to waiting 30-60 mins.) introduced herself, sat down and said 'let's talk.'  It was obvious that she had thoroughly reviewed my records and understood my history.  She explained that she would not be drawing labs or examining me today unless that was what I wanted (GOSH, didn't assume/realized that I had an option here....pinch me I think I'm dreaming).   I explained that occassionally I get a referral on one of her patients that is hospitalized and that I review the chart and read her history and physical report.   I wanted to make sure that she didn't have any ethical or conflict of interest concerns.  She did not!  Yea, things keep getting better and better. 

She asked me to talk about any pressing concerns I had, physical or otherwise.  So ladies I got the opportunity to tell her what's happening at work.  She almost immediately offered to write a letter for me if I wanted.  (This is almost too good to be happening!!!)   We talked for almost an hour and then I had labs drawn and changed into a gown tobe examined.  That completed I redressed and she returned for another 30 minutes explaining her plan for me.  One of the really nice things is that she feels seeing me every 6 months is adequate unless I need her in between.  She re-ordered the vitamin D level as I could never get that report from the original oncologist.  All in all I'm having difficulty containing my joy tonight so that I don't start expecting her to be a saint!  Thanks to all of you who have listened to me for 18 long months while I  complained  about my oncologist problems. 

Tomorrow I will be giving my letter to my administrator and waiting to see how that goes.  My expectation is that I will hear fairly quickly or they will drag it out as long as possible without answering. 

Nash, great news on the bone scan..phew is right...chalk up another for the good guys...er. girls.    Sorry your mammo hurt so much, this is routine for me and I spend days psyching myself up prior to them.  I know they are a necessary evil, but I still say that if MEN had boobs they would have found some other way of testing long ago! 

Hope everyone is well and will keep you all posted on my on-going saga at work.

Kaye, sorry to hear that you all are having to cut back on your business.  It's kind of a scary outlook for all of us right now.  I'm just trying really hard to be positive but at the same time making some plans for what ifs.

lilith, have you started your new job yet?  Did I just forget?

DeAnn, you must be traveling for we haven't heard from you for a while.  Hope all is well.

June

Yay, June! I'm so excited that the appointment went so well! I seriously got all teary eyed for you. I know how relieved I felt after meeting Dr. Ozzy, and I'm sure you feel the same way. I'm relieved for you. Your new onc sounds like Dr. Ozzy's twin, which is hilarious after our old crazy oncs sounded like twins. And my birthday is in June, so maybe we have some sort of cosmic intertwining or something.

I second Kaye....wooo hoo!!! Good news. 

 June, I'm so happy things are looking up.  I'm thinking of you today and your job.  Hope it all works out for you.

  Nash, so so happy about the bone scan.  Phew!!! Sorry about the rotten mammo. 

 Lilith, hope all goes well with the divorce, new job et cetera.  How is Mom doing?

  Kaye, sorry about things slowing down at your company.  It's all so scary.

  Hopefully next week will be a new beginning, I hope. 

 Harley, hey girl.  I'm among the unemployed right now also.  I have to say I am enjoying every minute of it.

I'm on my way to my sister's house to go with her for her biopsy today .  Please pray for her.  I'm thinking very positive.  Also, grateful that I feel well enough to be taking care of someone else besides me.

Hugs to all,

Jackie

Jackie, I was wondering when the biopsy was. And yes, lunch would be a better deal. Let us know how it goes.

Hi girls - and Jackie, praying that the biopsy went well and results are b9....

Thank you for asking about my mom. Not much good to report I fear - although I keep trying to be positive, especially for her (as she always looks first at the dark side). The lung biopsy came out positive, and the spine as well. So it is a lung cancer with bone metastasis. Both are still v. small from what I understand... She is well at this point, no symptoms, but the treatment course is not decided yet - first rads, then an operation, or first chemo, or what?

She is also very scared, because she was treated for BC 35 years ago - and you can imagine how different rads and chemo were then. I keep trying to tell myself that this is NOT a recurrence of her BC (sounds unlikely), but cannot avoid egoistically to see myself in her shoes.

Anyway, I just referred to my onc - she didn't like the one she has been directed to - so they'll have a chat and at the very least it will work as a second opinion.

2009 does not appear to be all that, after all. It is getting hard to think happy thoughts sometimes.

Lilith...I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom.  I hope you can help her to keep positive..although we hate that phrase it really does help.  It's hard for "old-timers" (I hope I don't offend anyone) to understand the cancer and chemo of today as opposed to years ago.  My Dad comes over still at least 3-4 times a week and stares at me and asks me how I feel.  I don't think that they can understand how much better things are.  Although, in your Mom's case she is a survivor of many years.  Try to think of you as being totally different than your Mom.  Okay, let me shut up now.  I'll just be praying for all of you.  Hugs to you all.

Harley...I know what you mean about the extra money.  I go to a  research place where you sniff products or wash stuff to test out new products.  Sometimes you get paid $20.00 or test lipstick for a month and get $50 bucks...cash.  It's really funny but it's extra cash.  Maybe there's a place like that near you.  Just an idea.

My sister's biopsy went okay.  The doctor said about a week until results.  I will keep you all posted.  Thanks for your support.

Hugs to all,

Jackie

lilith, I don't have any words to express what I'm sure you're feeling.  The best I can do is say we are here for you and all of it 'sucks big time'.  Try as much as you can to be positive and miracles do happen.  Please give her all of our best wishes and a BIG HUG!

Jackie, the wait is the hardest for all of us.  We'll just keep everything crossed and hope for the best outcome ever.

Best to all...

June   P.S.  don't know what went 'wild' with this font ladies????   LOL

Hi All,

 Sorry I've been away awhile. I'll explain shortly. 

 First, yay to June on getting a decent oncologist! I am sooo glad for you. 

Jackie, I'm hoping for very good results for your sister! Positive thoughts coming your way!

Lilith - I'm so sorry about your mom. I kind of know what you are feeling because, well, I'm afraid I have some bad news as well in my family. We just found out today that my mother-in-law has inoperable lung cancer. We don't know her options yet for treatment, but the doc initially says she has about 1 to 3 years, but there is potential for a cure. Sigh. She is only 59. She was a smoker from about age 18 to 40, but she hasn't touched a cigarette for 19 years.

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm really glad that I went through cancer myself. It makes it easier for me to help her because I know what she is feeling and thinking. 

Sorry for the downer news. Everything else is cool with me, except for that. 

DeAnn

Lilith, DeAnn, and all,

I am SO sorry to hear the news about your Mom, Lilith, and your MIL, DeAnn.  This just saddens me beyond words.

Sending HUGS your way!

Jackie,

Still praying and keeping my fingers crossed for good news from you, about your sister.

Harley

DeAnn,

I'm so sorry about your mother-in-law.  I will pray for all of you.  This is terrible news.  Sometimes I feel like it never ends.

My sister's name is Ann.  She's the middle child and gets mad that I got such a long name...Jacqueline and she only got Ann (it's a big joke in our family).  I was hoping she would hear something today but so far nothing.  Anyway, she's sucking it up and going to Atlantic City with her girlfriends (one of whom happens to be my husband's sister).  We are all one big happy family.  I'm glad she's getting away...no kids, no husband....for the weekend.

Hugs to all and thanks for the prayers.

Jackie

P.S. Harley...you look beautiful.  Your hair is so long!!! You go girl.

Jackie, my middle name is Ann. That's kind of funny that your parents apparently got writer's cramp after they had you. I hope your sis is able to get her mind off of things with the weekend in Atlantic City. I hope she gets the results back from the biopsy soon. As we all know, the waiting part is horrible.

Harley, I am also absolutely impressed with your hair - did you get extension or WHAT!!! Kaye, I never cut mine - I keep wanting to, but I want it back to LONG... but it is no-where close to Harley's! Curly at the end, fresh growth more relaxed (maybe if I cut it, it will be wavy and not afro? hmmm tempting). Harley, I want to know what you are doing!!!

My mom has seen her onc (the first one, she'll see mine Tuesday), and he seems more serene than previous docs. Yes, it will not be cured, but he suggests 3 rounds of chemo, rads for the met on the spine (v. v. small, detectable only by biopsy), and then an op to get out a part of her lung. That should be it. That of course has its own anguish - as she will loose her hair, and feel sick for some time....

I told her you ladies were sending hugs, she was all *smiles*.