Has anyone started a forum for Chemo in Dec 2008?
Comments
-
Hey Cebula...the movie was very good! But I was sitting between my husband and 18 year old daughter...and they were both crying at the end! ROFL Normally I'm the one crying...but I think I'm too dehydrated from chemo! LOL It was worth seeing!
As far as fills, I'm getting my last expansion this week. Then I just have to wait to finish chemo and then I can finally have my exchange surgery. My PS says I have to wait a full month before he will do the surgery...so I'm looking at the middle or end of March! I'll be happy when that is done! Although I was finally able to lie on my stomach the other day....my body is finally used to the turtle shells! LOL
Well I've been taking Christmas decorations down all night...time to get some sleep. Last night I woke up drenched in sweat...AGAIN!
Hugs to all!
Lisa
-
This is a little embarrassing. I have been real OK with everything that has happened. Then all of the sudden I had like a phycotic break down. I could not pull my self up. I swear it was not me. I have been through many hard situations in my life. But this was different. I wanted my DH to take me to the ER. I could not control myself. I was so negative and destructive. Never have I ever felt anything like that. He was so shocked he did not know what to do or say. The zen master crashes and burns.
I worked 13 hours straight cleaning the house sobbing and bitching under my breath. I am not a victim. I really felt that I had failed at everything in my life. Not one friend called too see how I am doing. And although well intended what up with get well quick cards. Is that a bad joke or what. I have had one treatment and I will be doing this for 18 weeks then rads then more adjuvant herceptin then probably a hundred years of other junk.... Get well quick indeed. I am a flipping greeting card designer for the 4th largest company and I am appalled at the sentiments. I am grateful to have gotten any at all mind you.
I still have chest pains from the sheer exhaustion of the day. I was wondering could this be a side effect of the meds or have I just lost it. just so out of character.
Tomorrow is yet another day. Maybe I am just scared really scared. I decided to do this with grace. But I guess it to late for that too. Well at least my DH was the only one who saw me.
I have not even lost my hair yet. I have ten more days till that freak show. Sorry my friends really I am the last thing you need weakness. The last thing I need is weakness too.
I would erase this but maybe it is cathodic, Maybe I tied of always being the Strong one blah blah blah.
-
Bold, sorry you had a rough day. We're all allowed to have our meltdowns, I think most of us have and they usually come out of the blue to surprise you. As strong as we all like to be through all this, we're all also scared.
On another note, a friend of mine that is helping with scheduling meals for our family emailed us yesterday to ask if we any any requests or desires on any food items. I replied to her that no, since I still can't really enjoy or taste food but that I still eat what's on my plate. Here's her reply back, it really touched me and I thought it might touch some of you Divas as well
"I enjoy your phrase..."I still eat what's on my plate though...". As a busy mom, that seems to be a motto of life at times - just eat what's on your plate. On stronger days I thank God that he knows the exact size plate and food I need..but we do wrinkle our noses at it often don't we? Nothing like what you're going through...and my heart goes out to you. What a "good girl" you're being - eating all thats on your plate. I will continue to pray that one of those bites -very soon- will taste good to you--even delicious! Until then just press on and know that you are loved and cared for as you go through this. Any non-food thing that might bring you pleasure or ease your burden? I'd love to help you with whatever you need - you are an encouragement to me as you go through this."
I thought it was a great note, a lot better than those "you look great!"
-
Hi Bold Honey, Don't feel bad about breaking down. We have all done it. If you read back to some of our past posts, you'll find we have all been as messed up as you were. It too passes and grace makes a come back. Funny that you used the words "freak show".. I used the exact same words a week or so ago.
Cancer is one of the most frightening diagnosis anyone can get. Then all we have to go thru from the diagnostics and surgery and chemo, to rads and HT. I don't think anyone can get thru it with grace every day. But yes, most of the time we can do it with grace. Please don't be embarrassed and don't feel like you failed with that.
I'm sorry that no one has checked on you since your chemo. I think that cancer is such a long treatment process, people get too busy with their own lives to remember how long we are not well. Too often, people make the wrong choice in what they say and in what kind of cards they send. Too often once the surgery is done, we are forgotten by many. Maybe you can design a line of chemo cards.?
I don't remember that anyone has had chest pains from the chemo. I think you most likely really over did it with the cleaning and all the emotional stuff you suffered thru. If you aren't feeling better after a bit today, maybe go see your doc about the chest pains and about getting an anti depressant. That certainly isn't a sign of weakness.
I'm glad you didn't erase. Coming here to Biotch is cathartic. Where else can you go where everyone will understand and know what you're going thru? It's just too damn hard to be strong ALL the time.
-
Caroline, that is the best note ever. What a great friend!
Lisa, I've been having terrible hot flashes and night sweats after chemo. I've been having them for the past year but they are much worse now. I would sleep with a window open if I wouldn't freeze DH! I still can't lay on my stomach even tho my expanders have softened some. I guess I won't be able to have my exchange until sometime in May. Wow, that seems far away.
Mary, how goes it with the hair? Did you buzz it off yet?
-
teachgrade3 - Yes it sounds like we have a lot in common. I am an elementary school principal and we also return to school on Monday. I was kind of glad that I lost my hair over break since it gave me some time to deal with it before going back in the public eye. I figure most people will not notice so much of a change when I wear my wig because they have not seen me in a couple weeks.
I went to the Ladies Health Boutique to have my hair shaved. She shaved my hair and then styled my wig. It was all done in private with only my friend in the room with us. After that I went to a place and had a makeover and bought new make-up. Then two friends went to lunch with me so I could try to get over the "everyone is looking at me" stage. Don't think that it was easy. I cried when she shaved my hair. It was an emotionally draining day but one I felt I needed to get through before trying to go back to school.
-
teachgrade3 - Yes it sounds like we have a lot in common. I am an elementary school principal and we also return to school on Monday. I was kind of glad that I lost my hair over break since it gave me some time to deal with it before going back in the public eye. I figure most people will not notice so much of a change when I wear my wig because they have not seen me in a couple weeks.
I went to the Ladies Health Boutique to have my hair shaved. She shaved my hair and then styled my wig. It was all done in privet with only my friend in the room with us. After that I went to a place and had a makeover and bought new make-up. Then two friends went to lunch with me so I could try to get over the "everyone is looking at me" stage. Don't think that it was easy. I cried when she shaved my hair. It was an emotionally draining day but one I felt I needed to get through before trying to go back to school.
-
Bold...what you experience in NORMAL for us! I call it a new Normal!!!!! After my first treamtment I had a melt down...and my moods would swing from laughing to crying in an instant. My husband and daughter said it was like I was pregnant...guess I was going to have a chemo baby! Do NOT beat yourself up for it.
Like you, most people have forgotten what I'm going through. People are busy with their own lives and one thing that I think...because we are handling it with grace and because we are strong...people think they don't need to check on us. If that makes sense. Because I'm baking to teaching Zumba and going on with my life, because I refuse to let cancer define me; people think I don't need checked on.
It amazes me at all of you who are getting meals from people. We haven't gotten any of that during chemo. When I had surgery, I had a few people bring us meals...but after that...it was all done. Because people think I'm fine and I don't need help.
Anyway...give yourself time. This is a LOT to absorb and you will have more days like that....remember, it is your NEW NORMAL...at least for a while! Hang in there girlfriend, we are all there with you!
Hugs
Lisa
-
Cebula....what a wonderful friend you have! And what a beautiful note. Maybe she should help write greeting cards!
I'm right there with you Firni. I was starting pre-menopause prior to my diagnosis....now that darn night sweats are more like baths!!!!!
Mombos....this is all emotionally draining, but you are strong and you will get through and we are here to help!
Hugs
Lisa
-
Bold, I cried like a baby after my 2nd FEC treatment because I felt so darned miserable. I face my last one this coming week and the thought still makes me cry. So don't feel alone with your feelings. We all try to be brave and upbeat but there are times when it's overwhelming.
On a happier note, yesterday I saw my special needs granddaughter for the first time since losing my hair. She's a little tyke who has no "filters" on what she says. She leapt into my arms and exclaimed quite loudly: "Your hair is different!!! Who made it?"
Out of the mouths of babes. All I could do was laugh.
-
Bold, I have had several meltdowns since this whole thing began for me. Sometimes it just comes out of nowhere. I usually hold it in until my boyfriend comes home and then I let it all out. I feel bad for dumping on him but it happens. I am a very spiritual person and have put all my faith in God so when this happens I usually take some time to pray and it really helps pull me back up. The hair thing is hard sometimes but we are not freak shows sister! Read the other thread titled "Embracing the Bald". Those women gave me a lot of strength as well as all the brave divas right here!
Well, it's day 3 since A/C #3 and I'm still doing ok. I took my last Emend pill this morning and still no nausea. I'm able to drink my instant coffee and had a waffle. I have been napping alot and sleeping good at night. The Ativan helps so much. I am getting my Nuelasta shot tomorrow and then going back to work. Yuck, time to put the wig back on. I've been enjoying not wearing it.
Caroline, that was such a sweet note from your friend. I think it's wonderful that you have meals being prepared for you. When I had my surgeries people were really nice and sending us things but that has stopped now. It's just me and my BF so I guess they figure we can manage fine and we are. For you gals with families, I think it's just awesome. I wish more of you had "meals on wheels" coming to you.
I hope everyone has a good Sunday.
Hugs, Elaine
-
Day 6 Tx2 . I felt very tired for the first 4 days. I slept most of the time. Felt better yesterday, so-so today. This second tx was worst that the first one. I have heat waves, headaches everyday, and a sense of desperation that was not me. In the beginning, I thought that were just a few moments of sadness, I had those before but I would get over those, but this time it was different. My DH said this is not me, it must be the chemo. This was beyond depression or saddens. This was scary. I am feeling much better since yesterday and I hope to feel better tomorrow since I have to go back to work. I cannot drink water anymore, so I am on sparkling water, but I cannot drink as much as I used to drink regular water. I will enter nadir on Wednesday so I will be back to wearing my mask. I still have hair but it is coming off. My scalp hurts a little but no itching. My skin is getting dry, too. The hair that I shaved (armpit) is not coming back, but the one that I didn't shave (hands) is not coming off yet. Still have eyebrows and eyelashes. I am bad with make-up and my worst fear is loosing my eyebrows.
-
Bold - Trust me this happpens to us all. In my regular life I am very planned, organized and in control. In a crisis everyone comes to me. I thought I was dealing okay after my dx but then one night I just started falling apart. There was no stopping it. It just went on and on. My DH just sat on the couch with me as I cried and yelled and fussed. I think it is good to do this every once in a while. I think it actually helps.
-
Thanks Lisa - yes I am interested inthe detox soak - where do I order it from?
My brother buzzed my hair -s till have hair - about 1/4 inch all over my head. trying to decide wheter to do a wig tomorrow for work or come as I am!
-
Bold- been there. screaming in the car, crying in the bathtub...we can't be strong all the time.
After my brother buzzed me - he wanted to get a mirror to show me. I said I better do this alone first - I will go in the bathroom. My 14 year old daughter ran in before me and said Mom I'll do this with you and hugged me. I just want her life to be normal through all this.
-
simvog - so sorry you've been having a bad time, hope it keeps getting better
Bold - think we've all been there, don't be hard on yourself cause it is really scary & sometimes it's just too overwhelming
Elaine - glad you're doing good after tx
-
I want to tell everyone how greatful I am to have found this sight and how greatful I am for all of you and the advice I have received.
I have not had a breakdown myself but I attribute that to not having started my treatment, but today is my day. I cryed reading all the posts on what is going on with some of you and some of the experiances you all have been through, God must be building all of us up for something great.
I will pray that everyone has a great and blessed day filled with laughs and love, That seems to be the only thing getting me threw this at this point.
Treatment hear I come....finally! Take care
-
Alyssa - thinking of you today.
-
Alyssa.....sending prayers and good vibes your way today!
-
Well today is day11 since TX2 and I had another night of drenching sweats! I woke up at 2 am soaked...pj's, pillow, bed...everything. But then I get up and I'm cold....I was too tired to change the bed and didn't want to wake up hubby...so I put on my fuzzy robe and crawled back in bed! LOL
I was having pre-menopausal symptoms prior to my diagnosis...now they are just enhanced!
Okay...off to Zumba!
Here is to a day filled with few SE's for all you Divas!
-
hello all, I totally understand what you all are saying. The melt downs over nothing and the lethargy on other days. I am on day 8 Tx 2 and am finally feeling okay. I have been very out of it for the last week. emotionally and physically. Didnt care if I ate or if anyone else was doing okay and that is just not me. My stomach is still a little weird and my tongue feels thick but at least this morning I was more concerned about getting my son off to school than what was on tv. Oh well tomorrow is always better (unless its tx day) lol.
sue
-
Good morning ladies,
I hope everyone is having a good Monday morning, or as good as possible. I was just "checking in" on the site this morning. To all the ladies having a "rough go" right now, I hope things improve quickly. This site has helped me so much and I'm so grateful for all the support we have to offer each other.
Oh, I have to mention that I'm in the "spicy" food section. Spicy and sweet is what is working best for me.I actually had Mexican food Saturday and it tested wonderful. I've never really been a big "salt" person but it seems like I'm having problems tasting that right now. That can be a probem when I'm cooking. I made a big pot of chicken & dumplings yesterday and was afraid I was going to overseason everything. Fortunately they turned out as good as usual. I would have been pissed if I had messed them up!
Here's to the start of a good week for everyone.
Cat
-
I have a question for everyone. The tips of my fingers are starting to peel. Has anyone else had that happen? I use lotion on my hands but it does not seem to be improving. Yesterday it was two fingers and now it's four. I don't want to blame everything on chemo but I've never done this before.
-
Today is day 4 after A/C #3 and I feel terrible. Yesterday was a rough day and I slept for most of it but was hoping today would be better. I had to drag myself to the center for my Nuelasta shot and now I'm back home. I'm so disappointed because I was supposed to return to work today and I didn't.
Best wishes and thoughts to all those having TX's today.
-
Yes Mombos, my fingers started peeling about 2 1/2 weeks after my first treatment. Just a few days before TX2. Now TX2 is 7 days ago and the skin all the way down my fingers is peeling and so is the palm of my right hand. I have a few fingernails that hurt today too so I cut all of them very short. I've just been keeping Eucerine Original Cream on my hands. It doesn't keep them from peeling, but they do look better with lotion on them.
Alyssa, I hope everything goes well today and you're healed up enough for treatment. Let us know.
Cat, you could send a big bowl of that chicken and dumplings my way. That sounds really good!
Actually, this treatment, NOTHING tastes good. Just water. It's making it very hard to want to eat. I take a bite of something and it's like chewing a glob of Crisco. So gross. Then with that nasty taste in the back of my throat. Maybe I'll lose a couple of pounds.
Sue, my tongue got real raw last time but this time it just feels raw on the tip and sides. Mostly my tongue feels coated. I'm using Biotene and salt water, but it just feels the same.
I'm just waiting for more normal to return. Should be in a day or so. I hope!!
-
Elaine, welcome to the crap club. I hope each Tx doesn't keep getting worse than the one before. I'll never make all 6 Txs. I'm finding that if I'm not feeling good this Tx, I'm a lot happier in bed. I've spent a lot of time there this past week.
-
The chemo has made my skin drier than normal.
You need to find a lotion that does NOT contain mineral oil or petroleum as an ingredient. Mineral oil just coats your skin, it does not get into the deep layers where it needs to be. So it may make your skin feel soft, but it is just lying on the top. Look for botanical BASED lotions, not mineral oil or petroleum based products with botanicals in them.
Think about it...if you put vaseline on your skin and get into the shower, what does the water do...rolls off. Because you have coated your skin...so nothing can get in to hydrate the deep layers.
My husband used to have palma psoriasis and the doctor recommend the usual steroids and the Eucerine cream...nothing worked, his hands cracked and bled all the time. Until we found products that didn't contain mineral oil. Plus we got off soaps.
There are products out there that don't use petroleum...you just have to find them. The reason that 95% of the products on the market use petroleum...it is cheap! It is the same thing you put in your car, just refined seven times!!!!!!
I know my skin is drier than before as I couldn't use my night cream very often as it is highly concentrated and my skin tended to be on the oily side. Now I'm using my night cream every night and I'm using my eye cream on my lips too...because they are also drier than usual.
Make sure to eat your Omega 3's too!!!!!!! That helps from the inside out!
-
Firni and Elaine......sending big hugs your way......get the rest you need.
-
Hi Divas, I've been taking it easy the past week and just caught up on the posts. We are a bunch of bald headed, emotional charged, itchy, pissed off group! I love you guys! I didn't know the meaning of fatigue until my tx#2. I was TIRED. I felt drained after talking on the phone! and it pissed me off because like all of you I'm a natural born multi-tasker, who just wasted her Christmas vacation laying on the couch! My onc said the fatigue will get worse with each tx, ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!! I hate being a patient. HATE IT!
Bold, we all need to melt down and I truly believe that you don't get it unless you live. I wish I could go back to all of those breast ca pts and do it over.
Mombos, I had tremendous bone pain tx#1 from the nuelasta, it took me by surprise and it took me out for a few days. I asked my onc. if I could use Ibuprofen just for a few days and it made a world of difference, I hardly noticed the pain! Now if I could only figure a way to get out of the fatigue!
Have a good night Divas!
Cinda
-
Hey Caroline, Awesome avitar. You look mahvelous dahling!
Categories
- All Categories
- 679 Advocacy and Fund-Raising
- 289 Advocacy
- 68 I've Donated to Breastcancer.org in honor of....
- Test
- 322 Walks, Runs and Fundraising Events for Breastcancer.org
- 5.6K Community Connections
- 282 Middle Age 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 53 Australians and New Zealanders Affected by Breast Cancer
- 208 Black Women or Men With Breast Cancer
- 684 Canadians Affected by Breast Cancer
- 1.5K Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
- 455 Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets
- 260 High Risk of Recurrence or Second Breast Cancer
- 22 International, Non-English Speakers With Breast Cancer
- 16 Latinas/Hispanics With Breast Cancer
- 189 LGBTQA+ With Breast Cancer
- 152 May Their Memory Live On
- 85 Member Matchup & Virtual Support Meetups
- 375 Members by Location
- 291 Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 177 Singles With Breast Cancer
- 869 Young With Breast Cancer
- 50.4K Connecting With Others Who Have a Similar Diagnosis
- 204 Breast Cancer with Another Diagnosis or Comorbidity
- 4K DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)
- 79 DCIS plus HER2-positive Microinvasion
- 529 Genetic Testing
- 2.2K HER2+ (Positive) Breast Cancer
- 1.5K IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer)
- 3.4K IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)
- 1.5K ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)
- 999 Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis
- 652 LCIS (Lobular Carcinoma In Situ)
- 193 Less Common Types of Breast Cancer
- 252 Male Breast Cancer
- 86 Mixed Type Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned
- 189 Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care
- 488 Second or Third Breast Cancer
- 1.2K Stage I Breast Cancer
- 313 Stage II Breast Cancer
- 3.8K Stage III Breast Cancer
- 2.5K Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
- 13.1K Day-to-Day Matters
- 132 All things COVID-19 or coronavirus
- 87 BCO Free-Cycle: Give or Trade Items Related to Breast Cancer
- 5.9K Clinical Trials, Research News, Podcasts, and Study Results
- 86 Coping with Holidays, Special Days and Anniversaries
- 828 Employment, Insurance, and Other Financial Issues
- 101 Family and Family Planning Matters
- Family Issues for Those Who Have Breast Cancer
- 26 Furry friends
- 1.8K Humor and Games
- 1.6K Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts
- 706 Recipe Swap for Healthy Living
- 704 Recommend Your Resources
- 171 Sex & Relationship Matters
- 9 The Political Corner
- 874 Working on Your Fitness
- 4.5K Moving On & Finding Inspiration After Breast Cancer
- 394 Bonded by Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Life After Breast Cancer
- 806 Prayers and Spiritual Support
- 285 Who or What Inspires You?
- 28.7K Not Diagnosed But Concerned
- 1K Benign Breast Conditions
- 2.3K High Risk for Breast Cancer
- 18K Not Diagnosed But Worried
- 7.4K Waiting for Test Results
- 603 Site News and Announcements
- 560 Comments, Suggestions, Feature Requests
- 39 Mod Announcements, Breastcancer.org News, Blog Entries, Podcasts
- 4 Survey, Interview and Participant Requests: Need your Help!
- 61.9K Tests, Treatments & Side Effects
- 586 Alternative Medicine
- 255 Bone Health and Bone Loss
- 11.4K Breast Reconstruction
- 7.9K Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 2.7K Complementary and Holistic Medicine and Treatment
- 775 Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results
- 7.8K Hormonal Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 50 Immunotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 7.4K Just Diagnosed
- 1.4K Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy
- 5.2K Lymphedema
- 3.6K Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment
- 591 Pain
- 3.9K Radiation Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 8.4K Surgery - Before, During, and After
- 109 Welcome to Breastcancer.org
- 98 Acknowledging and honoring our Community
- 11 Info & Resources for New Patients & Members From the Team