Starting Chemo May 2008
Comments
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rock, if you get to the bottom of that rope, there will be a knot. You just can't see it yet. It'll be there. Okay, if the knot somehow came untied, you still don't have to worry, 'cause we'll all be standing underneath, ready to catch you.
Yeah, I know. A lot of good it does for me to sit here, spouting platitudes, while you're there, feeling blue and disconnected. I loved your Christmas card, with that foldy star in there. I'm glad you felt connected with us.
Wasn't it Kerry, who said this was like an alien abduction? Or, maybe it's a parallel universe that we're in. And now that we've (mostly) finished BC treatment, we're trying to merge back into that other universe but we're finding out things aren't the same ... or maybe we're not the same.
I think it would be hard to manage a move to the other side of the world (almost), even if it wasn't coming right at the end of BC treatment. You half-decorated your tree? You're doing so much better than I did. My poor little tree is still in the basement, under its plastic cover. We'll be on the road so much during the holidays, decorating a tree seemed pointless. Some day I'd like to spend Christmas at our house, rather than at everyone else's or in-between.
Who will be accompanying you to your colonoscopy? You need a driver, I think. Did you accept your friend's offer? I hope so. And I hope yours is as uneventful as mine was.
We'll help you eat the ham. I think I saw a couple of offers (above) to provide cookies.
Hi to everybody, and big hugs...
otter
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MMMMMMMM honeybaked haaaaaaammmmmmmmm.Bring it on babe!
Rock~ if it helps any. Our little tree is only 2 feet tall and is fiberoptic. It has a teeny angel on the top, a pic of my son and your star you made for me. That's it. I didn't even put up 1/2 of my normal decor this year. I just didn't have it in me. Of course now that it is only 2 days away, I wish I had forced myself into putting up more. There is always next year. I'm having a hard time feeling christmassy this year. Normally its because lack of funds and not being able to buy what I want for friends and family. But this year, I am focused on my next herceptin treatment the monday afterwards. I don't measure time anymore by days or weeks but by when my next treatment is. So my dearest rock, on cmas eve, we can all raise our marshmellow sticks together and show our stars apon thars. Wrap your arms around yourself and hug tight, that is from me. Just know that my thoughts will be with you and all my other ladies in here.
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Rock,
Did you see the movie, Christmas with the Krunks? As hokey as it was, when you mentioned ham I thought of it...it's a great story and you should rent it. We can all watch it with you. Please come to Wisconsin for Christmas. All of you should come. I'm tackling a 26 lb turkey. Hope my oven is big enough. Good luck today. Herceptin tomorrow, baking for the girls tonight.
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Rock--You can come to KY for Christmas, if you can put up with all the grandkids! DD & I are fixing dinner at her house and you are more than welcome to come share it with us! I will be fixing breakfast Christmas morning-our traditional chipped beef and gravy, with all the fixin's. DD will make the biscuits because that is one thing that I can't make--unless you want to use them for a baseball game!
No tree here this year. It is setting upstairs, decorated and all I have to do is bring it downstairs and plug it in! The only decorations I have up is all my Christmas cards. Have done very little shopping and spending very little. Forget WalMart-doing mine at the Dollar Store and the Dollar Tree! Talk about cheap! (Insurance company gets most of our money and our COBRA just went up another $80.00 per month-due Jan.1.)
I think rads onc wanted me to start putting the aloe gel on to get in the habit. None before the treatment. Needless to say, I haven't done it yet!
Better head to the shower-tatoos at 2! Big Hugs to ALL!
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Alot of us seem to be in the same zone....I think this year has sapped so much mental and physical energy out of us that we don't have anything left for Christmas and the holidays. But who says we need lots of presents and a tree in the corner to feel the love of our friends and family, plus all the cyber hugs I'm sending your way !
Rock a special Angel hug being sent for you, I hope things look brighter soon! I'm glad you have someone to go with you to your colonoscopy, you will sail thru with good results!
. Thanks for all the cards I've recieved, I feel like a kid everytime the mailman comes...is there anythng in there for me ? ! I hope mine reach you soon, it might take a bit longer from the back woods here !
Gracie good luck with the tatoos , barely felt mine and they are hardly noticable. For cream i just used a glaxol water based cream, unscented. And they told me as long as i applied it an hour before that was fine.
Roxi good luck with your herceptin tomorrow!
Well i survived the Spa Party, the girls had a great time, got some great pics with there faces all covered up with masks and cucumbers ! I'm getting excited about my boys coming home in a couple days, just worried about their drive. It takes 8 hours were they are coming from over mountain passes in the snow. I will make them phone every couple hours so i know where they are.It's ok they are used to it....they know i'm a worry wort.
I have a few more things to do down town....then the wrapping begins, not looking forward to that.
Hope everyone has a great day !
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Heather, I got your card today. I just love the picture! You have a beautiful family.
Tatoos weren't too bad. Only a couple of them really hurt, like getting a shot. Having a nice looking male tech didn't hurt either! So, I start next Monday, the 29th and if all goes as planned, last treatment will be Feb. 16! It feels so good to see a brighter light at the end of the tunnel. Still have mammogram on Wed, but they are just doing the right breast.
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Rock,
I'm sorry you feel so disconnected. Here is a picture of your star on my tree. I love you.
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And if it makes you feel better, honey, eat the whole ham.
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Rock - you are welcome in Minnesota as well, we have a honey baked ham on order! I hope you are able to do a spontaneous gathering . . . which on occasion, can be the most fun! Sending positive thoughts through all of your testing!
Jen - You have the coolest doctors, that story made me smile thinking of all of the kind folks that are out there.
I had lunch today with a good friend that was dx last November. Her news is what prompted me to go get another mammogram (over a year) and here I am. Ironically, we went through the same system, same doctors / nurses, have the same onc, etc. She helped me through some terribly difficult days and introduced me to this site and all of you!! It made my day and my month to see her and simply catch up. Huge day brightener.
Hugs to all! Jean
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Hey Rock, I will be in NYC the day after Christmas. Let me know if you'd like to meet up -- we could go have a drink so you can wash down all that ham! PM me if you're going to be around....
Lauren
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My "Rock Star" will go on my tree next year. This year...well it is just to the left of my computer monitor. Always in my sight.
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I am too tired to say much. I'll read more of the last 2 days later.
Rock, if you feel like hopping a last min flight to Buffalo, I'll come get ya and u can look at my falling over tree...and I think I have some ground beef in the freezer, it'cook up faster than a ham!... (kidding.. but it sounded funny)
More later ladies.
Love to all.
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LOL! just read back on all of todays back and forth AFTER I wrote my blog..
http://noellesbloggybits.blogspot.com/
I got cards from Karin and Otter today... Roxi, yours arrived...
Love you all.
N
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Today has been a nice day; I was a bit hungover from the visitors we had last night, but it was sunny and still and I felt really healthy as I drove about town doing errands and visiting before we leave to go interstate tomorrow. I'm washing all the bedding (we have house-sitters coming for a week) and I even cleaned the ute. (I think you call them pick-ups??) I'm not fully recovered though..I haven't put the mats back in, and I haven't 'armoralled' the dash etc. (Trust me, neither job will get done.) I've had lovely cards from my best girls and (despite there being no physical evidence of it) am feeling a bit Christmassy. I bought each of my 5 nieces a Pandora bracelet (sadly, no charms) because I figure this will be the last time I have the money to buy for them. They are great girls...will post pics on facebook when I finally take some. Well, after a still and sunny day we have a fat storm brewing. The sky is black and there is serious ant activity in the driveway. Yesterday I saw a yellow-tailed black cockatoo in town; they are NEVER in town and only come in to feed when the weather is rough in the mountains where they live. Never mind..in Australia ALL rain is good rain
Rock?? Rock?? Test results?? I was right there with you. XX Will post tomorrow and then will be computer-free for a week. Love you all. XX -
Today is my last 1/2 day at work and then I am off until next Tuesday!
Rock, you can come to Texas too- we have a ham and lots of fudge!
Kristy
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I am heading to the "up periscope" but then again, you guys knew that because we are all about to squeeze in the same subway car together. (Do you mind if I swing by the bodega first and get a watch battery replaced?)
Thank you for the love, sisters, and the offers of porches, ham, fudge and support! (Lorena, I'm not sure where I'll be on the 26th yet. But if Im in the City, lets try to orchestrate a post-ham drinky-poo!)
MRI: Came back fine aside from something that is probably just a leftover from the surgery.
PET/CT: They're still looking 'em over. Hopefully I'll know something by the end of the week or early next.
And today, the Periscope. To be honest, the prep wasn't as horrible as it might have been. I was all set to have a day of whining but the cover of the NY Times was a story about famine in Zimbabwe and I realized that virtually ALL of my problems are first world problems.
Again, guys, thank you for the support. Life is so much easier with you all in it.
much love, rock
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*Sue -- I changed my signature to reflect the fedora love.
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rock, when you get home today, I wanted to mention something I heard the other day on our local radio station.
The reporter was interviewing a woman (a 2-time "BC survivor") who had founded a program called the "Butterfly Project." It's an outreach effort that involves teaching women in Alabama prisons about early detection of breast and cervical cancer, and transporting them to screening facilities. In the interview, they were even talking about a mobile screening facility--a van.
The "Butterfly Project" was sponsored by several agencies, including the AVON Foundation. To no one's surprise, women in the Alabama prison system were pretty much unaware of the current statistics on BC screening and detection and the services that were available. Even if they were aware, there probably hadn't been much they could do about it.
Here are a couple of websites from your area that mention the project:
http://www.storiesfromnewyork.com/gilbertcancer.htm http://journalism.nyu.edu/pubzone/livewire/health_science/gilbert_cancer/
I guess they may be from the same source. Here's a quote: "In Alabama, prison officials oversee The Butterfly Project: a program that educates incarcerated women in the two state prisons about the importance of early detection. The project received national media attention and was incorporated into a video that is now screened in women's correctional facilities across the country."
That's really all I know about the project. I don't even know if they're still doing it. However, as I was sitting in my car in my driveway, listening to the interview, I immediately thought of you and your area of research.
I am here in Oklahoma with my in-laws, listening to Christmas music and waiting for a sleet storm to arrive. We got here yesterday, and will stay until this weekend. Then, it's off to visit my parents, where it's about 20 degrees colder than in Oklahoma, and likely much snowier. I'll try to stay in touch--our Verizon broadband card seems to be working pretty well.
My 2-1/2 year old granddaughter wasn't the least bit put off by my short, curly hair. It took her about 3 minutes to figure out who I was; then I was shepherded back to her playroom to meet "Dora" and the rest of her toys.
Hugs to everybody...
otter
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Rock, you have no shortage of places to spend Christmas (really and virtually), but just so you know . . . you're welcome in Michigan, too. Or Toledo, for that matter, where we'll be on the big day itself for the mandatory Gathering of the Cousins and serving of the - you guessed it - honey-baked ham.
Kristy, I also had just a half day at work today. It makes for a nice holiday send-off.
Can you believe, it's SNOWING AGAIN here? I've been leaving my shovel at the ready, propped up against the door.
Linda
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Rock, you'll be at my brother's place (known as the Palace of Excess or the set from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation ) tomorrow for lunch. I THINK you will be able to cope with the (very funny) swearing and you will certainly be able to cope with my beautiful nieces aged 15 - 23.(who NEVER swear) It will be so fecking hot you will have to swim in his pool and lay gasping under the air-con. For 'dinner' we are having a barbeque at my other bro's place. More cry-laughing, stories (which my dad never knew....) etc. Both houses are on the edge of the super-dry bush, which smells so lovely I could cry. I will most definitely cry if we get a few spots of rain (as we do) because the smell is so evocative. I cannot imagine having a barrage of tests at this time of the year. What does Rock do??? She thinks of others. 'nuff said. I love you all so much, especially Rock and RanD this Christmas. XXXX And Noelle, who gave a whole new meaning to 'work'.XXX
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rock posted elsewhere and on her blog that her up-periscope session went well (no surprises).
otter
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Just checking in and "marking my spot" - the 2 days before Christmas are sooooo busy! I realized yesterday that I had virtually no stocking stuffers for the little one - aaaaaaahhhhh!!! Back to the stores...
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Happy Holidays Everyone!
Noelle, I could zoom down in about 1.5 hrs to give you a hand! Retail......crazy busy! I used to own a flower shop down here and would still be at work till 9-10pm this time of year! Hope you catch some R&R soon!
Jen......your Christmas gift story made me smile too and added that bit of "faith in mankind" to my day.
Otter......I'd like to trade you boat on the water for frozen ponds for a few days! Oh, luv the hair!
Linda........maybe we can call on the shovel brigade???? It's been snowing like crazy here too! Hope it calms down enough for all the to and fro we all have to do! Must say it is pretty tho until you got to dig your way out yet again.
Christine.........hope you got those stocking stuffed!
Sue.......hope air traffic control shoots down any aliens trying to abduct anyone!
Thanks everyone for being there!
Merry Christmas to All
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It is one minute before Christmas Eve Day. We just returned (okay, not just...it has been a few hours) from Victoria which was beautiful in the snow. The snow is amazing as it is so novel....I grew up in it in Denver, but now it's so unusual and since I don't have to shlep to work over the holidays, it is just pretty. A week ago tomorrow (okay, now, today) I had surgery. That was the easiest surgery ever. Easier than getting my tonsils out so long ago. Really.
Merry Christmas to each of you once more. Thanks for the cards and the fun this month but more than that, thanks for the wisdom, the laughter, the support, the snorting good times, the pole dance pictures etc. As you know, I can ramble. I'll stop. Merry Christmas to all of you and to all a good night.
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Eddie,
I, for one, love it when you ramble.
Sue
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Going to be a busy day here! Up early,(4am) thanks to hot flashes, DH just left to go duck hunting, so I am going to get the kids stockings put together. Then, have mammogram later this morning and finish up what grocery shopping needs to be done, so DD & I can start cooking this afternoon. Yesterday, took baby to his kidney specialist and did a bunch of last minute gift shopping-I am paying for it this morning-legs really achy. Hopefully pain meds will kick in and I will be able to get moving. I would really prefer to crawl back under the covers and stay there until Friday.
Here it is, Christmas Eve and I still don't have much Christmas spirit. Haven't heard from DS, so don't know when he will be here or if he will even be here at all. I'll be happy if he is just here for a day. I've learned to take whatever I can get. I am kinda down this morning, but trying to keep positive thoughts and pull myself out of this funk. Think I'm going to blame it on hormones, or lack of thereof.
Rock-you are in my thoughts (as all of you are). So glad that the colonoscopy went well. Thinking about RanD, praying that all is okay.
Eddie-happy that this last surgery was easier for you!
Wishing all of my 'sisters' a very Merry Christmas and want all of you to know how much you mean to me. Don't think I could have made it this far without each of you. You will forever hold a special place in my heart. Love you all so much and looking forward to May 2010 when we can share real hugs!
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Can you believe its Christmas Eve? Where did the time go? Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all of you. I am so grateful to have found you wonderful ladies. I can't imagine how I would have gotten through this journey without each and every one of you.
Eddie - Welcome home! Can you believe all of this snow? Its still snowing this morning.
Rock - I'm glad everything went well and that you can now put that "behind" you.
I hope you are able to enjoy your morning with your cup of coffee and the morning paper.Gracie - I'm with you on the spirit. I am trying. I have to for my little guy. Going to do some more baking today, watch the snow, have a fire going in the fireplace, wrap some gifts. I am determined to get some of the holiday spirit that so many seem to have.
Hugs to everyone one of you.
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Morning Ladies! Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all! I cannot begin to imagine this journey without all of you! I am very grateful to call you all friends - so compassionate, caring and funny.
Gracie - I had the funk as well. I was feeling too tired to be in the holiday spirit. I fired up some holiday music yesterday and that seemed to help a bit. Hoping you find some of that holiday spirit as well.
Snowing here again and it is a white wonderland.
Wishing you all a fantastic day! Love to all! Jean
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Happy Holidays ladies! Sitting here thinking about what to do for the day. My family all lives 2+ hours away and we will see them this weekend. Its rather dreary out.... been in the teens all week and sunny. Today it is 55 and raining. weird weather. We'll think of something to get into I'm sure.
I'm not good with the mushy stuff, but just know each and everyone of you has an extra special place in my heart. All my love, Jen
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Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Holidays to all of you!
I woke up this morning and I just laid there, thinking of you guys. Honest to God.
Jacki, it appears you and I are synchronizing our menopause symptoms. After 2 months of relief, they are back! I feel like a human string of Christmas lights *flash* *flash* *flash*.
Otter, thanks for the lead on the Butterfly Project! I can't wait to check it out!
A big hug to everyone and my heartfelt thanks.
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