reconstruction or not ?????

I really do not think you need any more surgery.  There are side effects to consider and why do that to yourself?  We need to focus more on what is inside a person and ot what is on the outside.  I would recommed no surgery, get a prosthesis, pop that in and go out!  That's what I do and I am totally happy with that. 

  Jesus looks on the heart and we need to do that tool!

  Sandy

Pamela, I looked around my area for stores that sold breast prostheses and mastectomy bras.  Some were retail stores that catered to women with cancer; others were orthopedic supply places that happened to have someone trained in fitting breast forms and bras.

I stopped at one of the retail stores specializing in things for BC patients.  The salesperson told me up-front that they were an authorized supplier for my insurance company and they would file all the insurance forms.  So, when I finally went there to be fitted for a breast form and mast bra, all I had to do was show them my insurance card and I.D.--just like at the doctor's office.

I paid cash for what they calculated would be the difference between my insurance allowance and the cost of what I was buying.  (Some forms and bras cost more than the allowance.)  A few weeks later, I received a claims statement from my insurance and a final bill from the store for the remaining amount due (the 20% co-pay).

Some women buy mast bras and forms on-line.  I don't know how that works with insurance coverage.

otter 

femme,

I had bilateral w/ free tram flap and 3 weeks later it failed. That was in May 2007. I had a very hard time at first, especially the idea of having undergone such a horrific surgery that didn't work. But I was sure I ddn't want to undergo more surgery and frankly had lost confidence in the plastic surgery process. I would say I went through a pretty long period of mourning for my breasts and still have those moments but they aren't as frequent. I think its important to allow yourself that period. I am comfortable with my prostheses and look good wearing them. They aren't saggy like my real breasts were! I am exercising alot and have a flat stomach due to the tram and its kind of interesting seeing the muscles on my chest develop, if a little weird. One thing that has helped me is realizing that there is a lot of suffering in the world. Everyone endures loss in their lives and if you can adjust and enjoy the good things you've been given rather than focusing on the bad you will be happier in life. All in all I don't feel like not having breasts is one of the worst things that can happen. I just decided I wasn't going to let that ruin the time I do have. Also after enduring the surgeries and the period of healing I am just grateful to feel healthy. I hope this helps a little. 

Jennifer 

Jennifer, I can't begin to tell you how much your post helps.  I would like to be above it all; able to say "no big deal."  I am working towards a modified version of this goal.  Perhaps it is not such a big deal, but as i am passing through the acceptance of the loss of my breasts, I am having a difficult time. I think too, that when doctors make huge mistakes that impact on our health, it  is very demoralizing.  Your noting that not having breasts is not the worst thing in the world and that there are much worse things that can happen, sits right with me

Are there any other words of wisdom that I can pull out and use to help navigate the trauma and sadness I feel? There are so many wise woman here, from all walks of life,  I have a sense that our cumulative strength - religious, secular, humanistic, can be very helpful.

I hope I do not sound selfish. I know I am so lucky to have survived all this. It would be so great if this thread could be an emotionally intelligent resource for getting over the bumps of not having our own "bumps."

femme 

I also appreciate this site. I am having bilateral mastectomies on Wednesday (Dec. 10th) after having an unsuccessful lumpectomy in November. These are tough decisions and I have been experiencing anticipatory grief over the loss of my breasts. I think it's good to mourn--I am not my breasts, I focus on other attributes, I will make the best of things. BUT I am losing what I have always considered the most attractive part of my body and it makes me sad. Last week I went to the plastic surgeon and concluded more surgery and the possible complications outlined on this thread were not for me. Today I went with my daughter to the Breast Prosthesis shop and it helped immensely. I am having custom radiant impression forms made and we picked out the color and cast my nipple so they can use that when they make them. The selection of ready made forms are also excellent. Things have come along way with breast forms and I know that will help my adjustment. My husband and I also did a tasteful "photo-shoot" the other night as a farewell ritual--that was bittersweet--but also fun and healing as well. Blessings to all on this journey... 

Sara

Hi again, Viv--

I had to chuckle at this statement:  "I had a unilateral mast in march with no recon. Like many others here I could not fathom undergoing more surgery immediately, especially one that I knew very little about."

What's ironic is that I might have considered having recon ... that is, until I learned more about it!  My breast surgeon (a surgical onco) referred me to a breast recon specialist, just so I could find out what the options might be in my case.  After looking at drawings of how the various recon surgeries were done, watching a video, and seeing the post-surgery photos in the surgeon's album, ... my dh turned several shades of green, and I said,  "Thanks, but no thanks!".  I asked my surgeon to leave me with a nice, smooth, flat scar on my left side, and she did.

The same was true of a colleague of mine.  Ten years ago, when she was dx'd with a fairly large tumor and was facing a mastectomy, she quickly decided to have recon.  A couple of years later, she developed another primary on the other side.  Her response was totally different that time:  No way was she having recon again.  She said if she had known what was involved and what the recovery would be like, she would never have chosen recon after her first surgery.

To each her own, though.  I'm happy with my new, $$$ mast bras and official foob.  I'm even happier with my $9 soft cotton bra from KMart and the fiberfill puffy/comfy I got for free from the local American Cancer Society Office.  I just slip that puffy in there every morning and go on my way.

I was checking it out just last night, and if I didn't know which side was which, I couldn't tell by feeling it or looking.

otter 

I have to tell you that I feel very liberated being boobless.  I choose to go without prost.  I do have some that I could wear if I found a top I really loved but it needed boobs.  But I find shopping in the petit section helpful.  I look for tops with no darts.  If I wear a lower neckline I use camies underneath.  Vests and sweaters are good too if you are self conscious.  Personally, I don't think many people even notice. I think people are more likely to notice big boobs rather than no or tiny boobs.

In my mind, I did not see the point of having fake, unfeeling lumps surgically implanted to fill out a shirt.  It was not important to me.  And I have had some slight feeling return over the months.  I have put the question out there to recon girls about whether or not they have any feeling after mast with implants but no one has ever responded.

I hope you recon girls out there do not take my position as being judgmental of your personal decision to have the surgery.  I understand that others would not be comfortable going the route I have chosen.  I simply want those making the decision to know that you can be perfectly happy without recon. 

Thank you for saying that, prettyinpink! That's how I've been feeling in making my decision, and I'm happy to hear that you still feel like that post-surgery. I go in a week from today for my surgery, so next week I'll be breast free, and hopefully will feel as liberated as you feel.

Dear Femme,

Sorry it has taken me so long to reply, have been dealing with the flu and not on to much lately.

Honestly - I am not quite sure HOW I came to mental grips with all of this,  except to say that I HAD HAD ENOUGH, in 2 years I had had 4 big surgeries, many-many biopsies, tests, treatments, etc,etc. 

It took me a year to finally decide on the bilat W/No recon, last yer when I started leaning towards mastectomy, I was actually very seriously considering recon. But much study and talk helped me to come to the choice of no recon, and with the healing issues I have had on the rads side, I most certienly made the right choice.

Was I worried and scared about my "new look", would my husband (of only 2 yrs ) still love and want me, oh I was worried for awhile.  But his endless support and my endless need to be healthy, out weighed having BOOBS.

I have always been quite a judgemental person of myself -to fat, to skinny, hair is bad -what ever. Well now, as often as I can I just look in the mirror - and see something nice about me!

As far as the cloths thing - IT is trial and error -  I wear my prosthesis, and sometimes I don't.  I have found I have had to make a few adjustments, but not many. I agree with the dartless/seamless tops as much as possible - easy to wear those tops with and without foobs.

I am not kidding myself in thinking that everyday  will be a perfect day,  I have looked and missed -but only for a second - because the reality of being alive and happy is bigger.

Femme as with anything  - try your best not to concentrate on what you "DON'T" have concentrate on what you do - 

my  motto so to speak is - if the boobs are no more -then work on the ASSATUDE

Good wishes to you all.

XOXOXOXOXOXO -Cathi

femme, I also live in an area that does not have a Nordstrom's, so that's why I went to one of the small, cancer-specialty botiques.   All the larger department stores around here cater to 18-year-old college coeds.  I asked once at Dillard's about mastectomy bras, and the clerk looked at me like I had two heads (instead of one boob).

That said, I did notice one day when shopping at the local (small) JC Penney, that there was a stack of small catalogs there for Jodee "Post-Mastectomy fashions."  I took a catalog and looked through it, and it looks pretty thorough.  I also signed up on the JC Penney website for future mailings about Jodee.  Jodee sells some nice-looking bras, a few breast forms, and some swimwear. 

Apparently, the larger JC Penney stores do have "certified fitters" that have been trained to fit mastectomy patients.  I assume those larger stores might also have Jodee products available on-site, but I don't know for sure.  I  haven't bought anything from them, but if there's a large JC Penney near you, you might call them to see if they do prosthesis fittings.

otter

Hi Pamela,

Making a decision is the first step,  and recon or not is a personal choice. Of coarse making a decision does not lesson the fear of the process sometimes, I was scared right until the minute they put me under the anestesia, not scared about my choice, just scared of surgery in general. 

It's a hard time of year to be facing surgery, but on the other hand with the holidays at our door step it may be a good thing to keep your mind busy.

Just plan on taking it easy for a few weeks,  NO LIFTING,  its not a cake walk but if you follow DR's orders and don't push yourself and over due it you will bounce back and be up and about before you realize. 

Wishing you a speedy and uneventful surgery and recovery...

XOXOXOXOXOXO - Cathi

Hi Pamela,

  if you go to the top of this thread (or any thread) On the right you can click 'Add to my Favorite Topics'   Then under your  My Home...You will have better luck keeping track of it.

 Its Neat we will both be having Surgery on the 29th : )

Pam

This is a great thread.  Thanks to everyone for sharing your stories.

Hi Pamela / All,

My insurance Blue Cross Blue Shiled, paid 100% for 4 bras and the prosthesis that fit in those, I have a great feeling and comfy bra (my favorite ) that is ABC brand,  I have 2 by JODEE, just slightly less comfy, but I like those alot as they have lace between the cups that gives a Cami appearance under a lower cut top.  I have also started the process for Radiant Impressions (form fitting) you can wear those in your own bra,  but because they are cast/molded, I have to wait until March (6/mo after surgery) to insure my swelling and concavedness is at it's least. 

I have told several other ladies here on the boards, I really don't wear the prosthesis all that much, so far (2/months today) I have been very comfortable with my new me. 

You can google up Radiant Impressions, if my insurance was not paying I most likely would not incure that expense.

I have to tell you, it is kind of funny, I work from home, sometimes I will wear them if I go out in the day,  and I will be sitting here (just like now) and look on my desk, and there lay my "girls" my hubby came home one day and came into my office and said "hon can yeah put your boobs back where they belong"  what if one of your clients stops in.

Some people misplace there glasses - I misplace my boobs.

My breast surgeon never pressured me to reconstruct, although she did insist I visit a plastic surgeon so I had that knowledge as well, for that I am greatful. My surgeons assistant however was totally amazed I was not going to reconstruct,  almost to the point of being annoying, he even looked at my husband one day and said "your ok with this"

DUH  -YEAH I LOVE HER!!!!