Help Us Please!

Dear Kaloni,

I think this would be a good and appropriate thread since I believe most of us do suffer from the conditions you describe. I don't take anything for mine, but probably should.

Do other women on the boards recommend something?

Thanks,

Annie

I was so depressed at one point that my ps told me he was concerned with how I looked.  My sister stopped by and I broke down in tears.  I have been taking Prozac for about amonth now and still I have my crying moments.  Cancer so sucks that you can't help but be depressed.  The unknown, the brokeness that it causes.  The reck it makes of your body.  I hate it!

Good Morning Ladies.....

I have found that this journey is filled with anxiety or a fear of the unknown.  My doctor prescribed Xanax and I use in on the days of my surgeries, bloodwork and I used one yesterday on the day of chemo.  It really helps to calm my nerves and relax me a bit. 

I don't take it everyday, just the days that I need to calm down.  I would encourage you to ask your doctor for a prescription of some sort to help you on your tough days.

dear kloni i did get a rx for xanax . and i do not ususally take it only if i feel anxiety and it helps your dr should prescdribe this for you if you ask for something to help you you do not have to suffer. hope this will help you just knowing i have it in the cabinet helps me if that makes any sense.

dear frightened123 i am glad you are feeling better. i have found that i take this cancer thing one minute at a time my nurse practioner told me this and i  finally have been able to apply this in my daily life. i wish the same for you.

Hey, all - I posted in the other thread - I didn't realize this was here!

I know that some of you also have PTSD, and I've been thinking that I've been doing pretty well. I am a week from my first annual mammo, and I haven't been doing badly. Talked to my therapist about being prepared, DH is going with me. A few anxious dreams, but really, not that far from normal for any woman less than a year past diagnosis.

Now, I live in Michigan and it's snowing tonight. This was not a surprise. I even like snow. So I'm leaving the office, and walking very carefully, because it was slippery. And I fell. Hard. Swore. Picked myself up, walked the rest of the way to the car. Drove to the library. Realized when I went to check out that my cards were all messed up, apologized to the lady behind the desk, she offered to replace the card, and suddenly, I just could not deal! I said, I'm so sorry, I'll put them back. Hands started shaking. She said no, that's fine, I'll do it.

Went out to truck, and I was instantly back at tumor board, trying to talk to a doctor who wasn't listening to me, who just wanted me to shut up and agree with what she was saying. So I decided to go work out, since I was right by my gym, and physical activity is calming. Oh, wrong, I was in my head, and my heart was racing before I even got a good sweat worked up, and I kept saying to myself, you don't want to be here, and trying to change the subject, when finally, I said to myself, what is going on. And I said - you lost control. Scary, isn't it?

Wow. Took one slip on ice. I have always been a strong woman, could do anything, heck, did do anything. Suddenly I am vulnerable and fragile, and I don't like it.

Being able to post about this is why I wanted us to have this board - I want to recover from this part of my illness as well.

Thank you all for being here and "listening" to me. I'll be back.

Leaf - thanks for the post especially. I am trying cognitive, and am hoping that I can do this without drugs.

The reason that I went from just being anxious to PTSD was that, in my eyes, my medical team was not dependable, and they were the people I needed protecting from, rather than they're being people it was safe to be vulnerable with.

I found out after my surgery that they had forgotten to order several pre-op tests, everybody expected some one else to do it. I had multiple infections, but no one wanted to take responsibility for ordering antibiotics, etc, etc. I've changed oncs and will never have a mammogram done where I had it done before, nor will I ever take pre-op sedation again. I even changed my primary care physician - she didn't recommend a second opinion because her husband is a big shot at the breast center I went to, and she didn't tell me. Nor did she try to expedite my studies. She did, however, offer me, a recovering alcoholic, drugs with high addictive potential.

Karen,

Don't worry about student loans for nursing school.  Most nursing programs give full scholarships because of all the money given due to the nursing shortage.  Check that out with the nursing schools for which you are interested in applying.  You can also check out Johnson and Johnson. They have been doing a big push for nursing education.

Good luck!

Regards,

Jo Ann Klein, RN

Do most of you who have PTSD (or something like that) have it due to cancer treatment, or a pre-existing situation?

Hi Carpediemocc!  I think I had it as a child, but I didn't know either. Spent some 25 years in therapy, but the therapist didn't want to deal with it, and I was grateful for what I got in therapy.  (That must be a record  of some sort for a slow learner!) I have a new therapist now, who diagnosed me with something like PTSD 3 years ago.

I know some people have had horrible experiences with their doctors.

Thank you for sharing that you had pre-existing issues before you got bc.  For me, I think it was somewhat magnified by my increased body issues as I get older.

Has  the increased Ativan dosage helped you?

Ah-ha!  So that's the way it commonly goes.  Thanks so much, Sue!

I agree.  Although my breast issues are not my most concerning medical problem, it sure helps to understand my reactions to some of these tests.  I've been in therapy a total of ummm about 30 years (incluiding 27 years with a therapist who would not deal with my  trauma issues), and I  learned from 2 posts above that I am not as alone as I thought.

My late friend (age 59) died last month of stage IV pancreatic cancer.  She was obviously traumatized, but never wanted any help with it, and took all the details with her to her grave.  I don't think she could relate very well with me and other people.  But it was only the last 2 weeks of her life (when she was nonverbal) that I found how messed up she was. (I had known her for more than 15 years.)