first chemo done

Well Im home from NC.  And today is the first chemo, I have read the board several times, I drank all my water yesterday (64 oz) and took the decedron. Not to bad side effects.  I self med with xanax and went to sleep okay.  Took that one plus the other 2 meds this morning in prep for the chemo.

Taking a bath soon, decide whether to eat something or not.

Bittersweet visit to my parents, I needed it, but I had a crying breakdown an average of once a day, not always known to my parents, but they saw a couple.  It was hard to say good bye because I cant up but wonder if it will be my last time seeing my parents...............somber thoughts, but ones Im entitled to, I push them away then, but keep them from coming. 

 Infusion is 10:00am on Monday. Kind of scared but ready, lets get this thing done , then the surgery, then radio.

So many of us today.

take care,

Love u all, I will be praying all today to cover across the USA!

Barb 

Good Morning,

So sorry to hear about nonperforming doctors Debbie, go kick them in the buttttttt.  You should know everything.  Maybe you can befriend someone, go start crying, that worked for me, tell them you are going crazy not knowing what is coming next and when things are going to start happening.  My breast surgeon was the one that orchestrated all my initial appointments, Now however my Oncologist is the boss.  Call one of them and asking nicely DEMAND to tell them to tell you what your plan is.  Sorry guess I woke up angry today, It is only 7:15 here and I have been thinking about cancer in bed for the past hour.

It is a beautiful day here, I have about 8 doves eating the food underneath my bird feeder and the finches, about 10, are all over my finch feeder.  I wish I could stay home and just watch them but I leave for chemo at 8:45am.  I still have my hai,r but not a lot of it, I will probably shave it tomorrow, seems like I keep pushing this off, but, I can still get away with wearing it, it is just thin, without blotchy marks as of yet.

My 19 year old Son is back at college after about a 6 hour drive last night.  He is dreading finals in a week and hated to leave.  We also hated to see him go.  My daughter, the 16.5 year old, went to a friends house to make ginger bread houses and talk about cute guys.  My husband and I looked at each other and realized how much our life has changed.  We would love to have the house filled with grandchildren and kids, like you Debbie.  We are 50 and 51 and feel so old right now.  Six months ago we felt much younger.  Hopefully that feeling will come back in six more months. 

Jill. you are young to have cancer, 43.  Don't let them mess around with you just because of your age.  You have a daughter I thought that was around 13?  How old are your kids? Chemo brain, I forgot.  How are they dealing with this whole thing?

Stay strong everyone and I hope everyone is doing well!  Kristi

Hello, Ladies and a good evening to all.

I am surprised to hear from all of you doing the chemo thing, but encouraged at the same time.  

Deb - Great to hear from you.  Thrilled that the water (as aggravating as it can be) is reaping some benefits for you.  Rick deserves a gold star for making you stick with it.    You can tell him I said that.    

Barb - Welcome back !  I am assuming you already had your treatment by the time you get this.  Remember, we will be here for moral support.  You can complain, commiserate or ask questions all you want.   Sounds like the time with your parents was emotional, which is understandable.  However, one thing I learned is that the only upside to treatment is that it gives time for YOU.   Take it that way and focus on getting better.   There is light for all of us at the end of this.  In regard to your gutsy statement regarding pot - you actually may be ahead of your time on this or just knew this intuitively.  I have read some things on the medicinal value of pot for those going through chemotherapy.   In fact, there was a forum on this board on this topic.   Some states even have legalized it for that purpose (although I don't know which ones).    It makes logical sense (the scientist in me coming out), if you think about it - causes relaxation, induces appetite and controls nausea (and no, I am not making a bad joke).     That said, you should probably ask your doc if any of the meds they give you are counter indicated.  You would be surprised at what what things could affect what.   For example, I can't eat grapefruit with the Xanax I take (no kidding) and I never would have thought of that... and I LOVE grapefruit.   But, do what you need to in order to get through treatment !   

Kristi - You know, your "angry" (your word) advice to Debbie was dead on.   You are right.  We don't get anywhere by being overly nice in this game.   I hope your treatment went well today.  Thinking about you here.  BTW, we have another thing in common in that my bird feeders are one of my greatest joys.  I lovingly fill them and watch my birds for hours.   (Notice they are MY birds).    Anyway - yes, I am "young" to have had cancer at 43.  I have found that alarm bells go off all over the place when you are under 50 and have breast cancer.   Turns out my aunt had breast cancer at the exact same age I am now 23 years ago in almost identical fashion (small aggressive tumor).    That one really rung their bell.    I am happy to say that I am negative for the BRCA1&2 gene mutation.  They did not even hesitate to test for that as evidently two women a generation apart both under 50 with breast cancer is a major signal.   However, I have this really eerie feeling there is another gene in there somewhere that is still unknown that contributed somehow as my and my aunt's case were too similar for coincidence.   However, my aunt is doing great to this day !   So, I view that as a positive sign.

As for my kids - my daughter is 14 (going on 30) and my son is 11.   They are doing relatively well.  I learned pretty early in this that they will respond to my actions as much as anything on this.   If I act all sad and freaked out, for example, they will be too (so I try not to do that).    You can tell they are scared.  But, they see me doing my best to keep focused on the end game and keep moving forward and that helps them.  Believe it or not, one of the best things that happened was when my husband brought in my son to the treatment center during my last chemo because he had an early release day at school.    He said it was not at all like he expected - chairs (not hospital beds), TVs - even snacks !    I think that demystified it a little for him.   My daughter has the harder time of the two (I think she took me losing my hair worse than I did).    But, even she has come around to a certain level of "acceptance" and is very helpful on post chemo days.   (I do worry about the possible genetic link for her though - the genetic counselor says she has to start mammograms at 33 - ten years younger than my diagnosis).    Anyway, I can't complain.  They are great kids !  Thanks for asking.

Jerri - The emergency room ?!   Hmmm.. What's going on ?  

Jill

Hi Jill,

Sounds like you really have Strong young-ins. The Hair thing might bother them for a bit but I think it has to do with their age. My question is your Son going to have the Mammograms as well??

I was in the Hospital because I was dehydrated and so Constipated. I tried everything. I was so miserable. I think the Pain Meds I take for the bone pain is my catch 22 but I have to have them. I'm allergic to ALL Nsaids. I got the Neulatsta shot on Friday and I just wished the Bone Pain would let up some. Hopefully in a day or two.

Anyway ALL have a Wondeful Day!

Jerri

Jerri -

Doesn't sound good at all.   Are the docs taking care of you ?  There are other non NSAID pain relievers.  Have they given you any of these ?    As for constipation, what have you done for that?   Several of the women on this site have had big issues with that one.    I hope you are doing better today.   That darn Neulasta shot really gets me as well.    Bone pains are terrible.

As for your question about my son.   Believe it or not, my breast cancer means he may have a little elevated risk of prostate cancer - or so the genetic counselor tells me.  There appears to be some correlation with these two.   One of the things I left out of the above story was that my Dad's prostate cancer at a relatively young age (58) also "dictated" that the genetic testing was warranted because evidently breast and prostate cancer are in the same family (my aunt with the breast cancer is his sister).    And, by the way, it is a myth that the gene mutation can only come on Mom's side.  It is actually passed on the X chromosome that is common to men and women and can come from either parent as women have an X chromosome from each parent.  (Bet you didn't expect the genetic lesson - sorry if it is boring, but I find it interesting). 

Of course, for men, they can get screened for prostate cancer with a simple blood test (PSA), but still whine like crazy when they get the "finger" test.    Wonder how they would react if they got body parts smashed in a vice and x-rayed (somehow I don't think a woman came up with the mammogram diagnostic).   

Well... I go in tomorrow to get my buzz on.   Ready to take my decadron tonight !    Hope everyone is weathering the storm well !

Jill

Jerri -

OK.. Now I am a bit confused.  Acetaminophen (i.e. Tylenol) is not an NSAID. (Ibuprophen, Aspirin and Naproxen are).  See below:  

Acetaminophen (Tylenol, aspirin-free Excedrin): Hundreds of over-the-counter medications contain this non-NSAID pain reliever, an alternative for people who are allergic to aspirin or who worry about the risks of nonsteroidal anti-inflammatories (NSAIDs). 

Vicodin, which is a combination of Hydrocodone (a narcotic) and Acetaminophen (abbreviated as APAP) in a very strong pain reliever that is not an NSAID.   Percoset is a combination of Oxycodone (narcotic) and APAP is also a strong pain reliever.   The drug you mention (tramadol) is an opioid.   

My doc gives me the Vicodin for pain, which knocks me on my butt but does work.   Do you have issues with Narcotics as well ?  If so, could Tylenol work for you to at least give you some relief ?   Is there concern about liver issues with you ?   (Both NSAIDs and APAP can have liver issues associated with them). 

Sorry to ask so many nosy questions, but you got me intrigued with your last post, and I am feeling for your pain here !   (Yes... once a scientist.. always a scientist....)

Jill  

Ladies, the bone pain from the neulasta shot and constipation are two things I haven't had a problem with.....I take the Claritan (well it's generic store brand type) the day before, the day of and the day after that shot and haven't had a bone pain yet.....as for the constipation, I take a couple of large swigs of Mylanta every nite...Think it has something to do with the magnesium in it? (Jill you're the scientist, figger this one out!)

7 days from last treatment and I just now have energy, go figger......there has to be a way to get energy quicker.......and Jill I am going to try the yogurt next time.......I haven't had alot of nausea but figure it can't hurt with the stomach and eating.....

And jeez had no idea your head got this cold!

Luv bunches

Deb

Jill do me a favor-Go Rest Your Brain Please!!! Wow I'm not that sharp these days.

I will talk at you all tom. I'm cutting off the Long Hair tom. to get ready. I don't want long hair dropping all over and then the Pups pick it up. YUK!

Jerri

Jill and Jerri - Man do you guys sound like a such of scientists...My brain is to wiped to figure any of this out.  You know I am from California one of the approved pot smoking states for chemo treatment.  And no I have not tried it but it might do me good because I have no appetite. 

Chemo was on Monday with NO DECADRON.  I must say I kind of missed the high.  I am now just hanging out in the valley until the big chemo blast which I expect tomorrow night, if it is the same as last time.  I am a bit more sick to my stomach so I have taken the anti throw up pills.

 And as usual I am constipated but tonight I am taking my Dr. Strolz, natural herb, that worked better than the stuff my doctor prescribed (he said go for it).  I also thought you were not suppose to have yogurt.  A volunteer from the cancer society told me not to.  I wish we really new the truth.

I still have not shaved my head, I am having a really hard time with that. I have short hair so the only thing that as been happening is that it has gotten thinner and thinner.  I am now however starting to get a little bald spot in the back so it will have to happen in the next couple of days, I am scared to be bald.

Good night from the west coast or good morning to the east.  Kristi

Good morning all !

Weirdly I am less wired this morning despite taking my decadron last night.  Go figure.  But, will tone down the sciene talk.   (Just got on a roll).

Anyway, Kristi - I know going off the decadron was worrying you.   Did you at least sleep better ?  I am assuming the anti-throw up pills are Emend.  Those darn expensive pills are a God send.   Hope they work for you.  Sounds like you got a plan for that blasted constipation this time.   I can't figure out the yogurt thing either.   When it shows up in the National Cancer Institute web site, you would thing there would be some consistency.  Sheesh....   You know, if I could get a prescription for the pot, I probably would try it with the chemo.  What the hell.  What do you have to lose.  Ohio (not surprisingly) is not as "progressive" as California on this matter.    I would not even have a clue as to where to get it these days.  No drug dealers on speed dial.   Go figure. 

Good luck with the wall.  For me, that is always the hardest part.  As you may have been able to tell, I am a somewhat (ahem) high energy individual (surprise, surprise).  So the "wall" always feels like a extreme drop for me - although it gives you all a needed break !    In any case, let us know how you are doing.

For both you and Deb - Don't minimize your feelings on the hair thing.   That is HARD.  For me, it was a lot more symbolic than just dealing with hair.   So, do what you have to when you want to.  But, while I don't like being bald, it does get better.  You will reach a certain level of acceptance that will turn out to be another milestone when all is said and done.   But, for now, mourn your hair.    It is OK.

I gotta go in myself in about 30 minutes.  Will sleep it off this afternoon.  Take care, ladies. 

Jill

Jill will be praying you don't hit that wall.........and as for the hair, think I will feel better once it is all gone, just looks so bad now......

Ya want some inspiration, go check out the thread "I need a huge favor" and look at the pic of my Granddaughter Belle.......she got a Breast Cancer Awareness Bracelet for her birthday and the pic is priceless..........

And you should know, breathing is about illegal in Ohio!!!!!!!!! LOL

luv

Deb

Hi all,

Im on the third day now, day one being the actualy chemo day, which was Monday, went back in yesterday for the nulasta shot, hydration and aloxi.  I met two wonderful women on the first Monday, they were both there for their 3 treatments, 6 total I believe, also met a wonderful little old man, Phil, 83, and he is in remission from Myxoma.  He had been treated 12 years ago and comes back for blood work etc, still has a port in.  

And I feel good, nothing really much to complain about, a few headaches, a few muscle aches, no sickness, so Im so happy.

Those women talked about the Look Good, Feel Good source too, and my local hospital has meeting for it, so Im going to schedule for that next group, they said you get lots of free makeup and shown how to do everything.  So the two women, one wore hats, the other said she wasnt ready to face the hair loss in public, her job etc, and she looked so cute in her wig and makeup and had I not seen her having chemo, I wouldnt have guessed she was wearing a wig, she got hers from tlcdirect.org just like me.  And the woman who went the hat route, she was very cute too, I would say they were both in their early 40's, one spoke of having a 12 year old and 10 years old.  So who knows, cancer is impervious to age.

Well my sister is over, and Im going to take advantage of feeling good and give the glory to God and to all the people here who Ive taken every bit of any bit of information and advice and stocked up on everything possible and so far have beat the side effects..........this time.

Its snowing out and starting the day after I got back from NC it been snowing off and on, we have about 6 inches.  Heres my town, Cedarburg WI.  http://www.cedarburg.org/ 

If you followed the elections at all there was a meeting right in my town in the beginning after McCain picked Palin, she was there too.  Not the way I voted but still exciting to have someone in town.

take care and I will be back on later probably

Barb 

Hi Deb,

Any bleeding or rough spots? My heels bother me but mine have so much dried up dead skin on them that I have to use this pediegg on them. You don't have cracks or anything? I know some have mentioned some tingling in their feet and hands with Chemo. I would check with your Doctor. Does it hurt to walk???

Jerri

Good evening everyone!

Monday we had our first snow- not a lot, but it looked so pretty. Everything seemed so peaceful and quiet. It only lasted a day, and I didn't have to leave the house in the morning, which was even nicer:).

Saw my gyn this week- was told that the type of tumor I have makes me more susceptable to ovarian and colon ca. He said not to be surprised if my medical onc requests my ovaries be removed once my treatments are finished. Oh joy...

Finally am scheduled for my first chemo- Dec 10th. I'm happy it's scheduled, but on the other hand scared to death. One of those - lets get started already- but then again let's not...delay was the drug trial. Research nurse was off since Friday afternoon, and was just signing me up today. They had to wait for my brain scan results. That must have been ok, since she went ahead and registered me. The med will be delivered next Tuesday, which is the earliest. It really makes me nervous waiting so long after surgery, but my doc said I will be fine. I'm sure I will be but it sure is nervewracking. How many of those nasty little cells are floating around by now? I don't even want to think about it.

So, now I should be ready to be hairless for Christmas instead of my birthday. Ho Ho Ho...what kind of wigs does everyone have? I'm going to get one Monday, and don't want to look any dorkier than I need to. LOL

Hope you are doing ok Jill. What is your background? Do you care to share? I'm a nurse, haven't done patient care in years, and then it was orthopedics. Have done informatics for the past 11 years, and insurance pre-auths and Case Management/QA before that.

It sounds like everyone else is hanging in there. Continue sending those positive thoughts. I'll be needing them in another week!!!

 Debbie

Hi all,

I go for treatment #5 out of 12 today.  I am going to try it alone today.  I am in a pissy mood and really just want to go and do what I want to do... organize some bills, write some thank you notes.  Anyway, just feeling bitchy today.  :-)  About the time I feel better I go in for another one.  My hair has been gone about a week and a half and still getting use to the wig at work.

For your heels... have you tried Udderly Smooth cream?  You can get it at Walgreens.  My Dad has Stage 4 RCC and his chemo causes horrible blisters on his heels.  This cream helps.  Also B6 is suppose to help but I would ask your Onc before taking anything.

Cristl