mom is 80 2nd breast cancer

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maggie101
maggie101 Member Posts: 14
edited June 2014 in Second or Third Breast Cancer

I don't know if I'm in the right place - let me know if I'm not.

My 80 y.o. mom had 2cm idc left breast 7/12 nodes + lumpectomy chemo rad. in 2002 - this board helped me alot. now it looks like she has lobular ca in the right breast. it's large - 6cm and the surgeon felt an enlarged node. biopsy next fri. surgeon said if it came back neg. she would have us do it again b/c she's almost positive it cancer.

Mom went thru chemo & rad like a trooper - but in the 6 yrs since, she has aged a great deal and she can't remember anything. a neurologist said it's not alzheimers - i'm convinced it's permanent chemo brain.

I've done lots of reading and have guided mom through all the treatment. she looks to me for advice on what to do. of course her onc. will tell her to do chemo and rad. but at her age, and seeing what it did to her - I don't feel confident to help her make this decision. the surgeon tells us if biopsy is positive she'll recommend mastectomy. but after that, then what? I don't want my mom to waste time feeling awful for something that will do what? prolong the inevitable? but if we don't seek further treatment and it spreads would it be because we didn't do more....? or would it happen anyway? what are the statistics?

 Does any of this make any sense?

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  • cp418
    cp418 Member Posts: 7,079
    edited October 2008

    Maggie - These are very difficult questions to be discussed with your oncologist.  It sounds like the mastectomy is a feasible plan.  The pathology of the tumor is also a consideration but I sense like you putting a person of this age through chemo again is way too much.  Maybe she would do well on a AI medication if receptor positive.  Regarding the radiation if she has the mastectomy maybe this treatment can be avoided.  If this were my parent I would feel quality of life and comfort would be the highest priorities.  Discuss the surgery as first step and then  take each day one at a time.  Best wishes Joann

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  • maggie101
    maggie101 Member Posts: 14
    edited October 2008

    Joann, thanks for the reply. What is an AI medication? Is it one of those hormone receptor medications? Mom's first bc was ductal and was negative for all that - so I never read up on that subject, but from what I understand lobular is usually positive. guess we just have to wait for the biopsy results. unfortunately, we don't care much for mom's onc. we tried to get her to switch to someone else in the beginning, but she resisted.  Quality of life is the highest priority, as since the last cancer she has changed so much, aged so much and because she gets confused, that in turn makes her anxious. I just want to try to keep this as easy as possible for her. Do you know of any good books on AIs and lobular? I'm having trouble finding good info on lobular cancer. Thanks again, Maggie

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  • daisydaughter
    daisydaughter Member Posts: 7
    edited October 2008

    hi maggie101. The most important thing to me is her quality of life. My mom has suffered such changes in her mental clarity, due to the pain killers, the chemo, and the pain itself. On good days, she's full of fun, on bad days, she's frustrated and very confused. She and my dad will make the decisions as to how far to go with treatment, and I will support whatever they decide.  For many years, even before bc, my mom has made it clear to me that she does not want to prolong her life if there is undue suffering. We just keep the lines of communication open, and we pray alot. I worry that I won't know what to say or do, but then I just have to trust God to guide me.

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  • cp418
    cp418 Member Posts: 7,079
    edited October 2008

    Hi Maggie - If you go to the home page on this site you will find every topic regarding breast cancer covered.  http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/

    If you start with this page you can click on the title of the particular breast cancer and it will link to another more detailed description.  Lots of topics with additional links.

    AI is the abbreviation for Aromatase Inhibitor medication to block hormones in post menopause women.  The 3 drugs are: Femara, Arimidex and Aromasin (my spelling may not be correct).  It is important to take calcium and Vitamin D supplements as these drugs may aggrevate bone loss.

    The pathology and hormone status when identified will determine if AI can be given.  Make sure your onc answers all your questions to your satisfaction.  Just keep posting your questions as there so many ladies here who can help with personal experience or reseach that they have already done.  Best wishes Joann

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  • maggie101
    maggie101 Member Posts: 14
    edited October 2008

    Joann - thanks so much. my experience with this site from when mom first had ca in 2002 was so great - this is the first thing I turned to when we go the bad news again.  So I haven't done any reading yet.  Thanks for the guidance. and believe me, somewhere on this board, I'll be back! You women are amazing!

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  • maggie101
    maggie101 Member Posts: 14
    edited October 2008

    daisydaughter - I feel like I know what you mean - mom gets so confused and anxious now. i feel as if she asks my opinion and if i tell her not to have treatment she'll take it as me saying "it's all over" - but that's not what I mean. I think she'll have the mast. and that's it. and she'll probably have several more great years with her grandkids. I don't want to see her go through chemo again - she doesn't remember what it was like (that's probably a good thing), but the rest of us do. I don't even want to see her do rad again. It really is about quality of life - but she worries so much that I feel like she has spent the last 6 years since her first cancer just waiting for it to come back. that's no way to live. She's actually in decent shape for her age, but has said to me - I'm tired, I just want to die and get it over with. Sometimes she's joking sometimes not. you're right about keeping the lines of communication going - and we do - and we will. thanks for listening! maggie

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