Starting Chemo May 2008

Gracie, pride wenteth before my fall! I thought the Tax was a piece of cake after the FEC and then....The pain came from the neulasta AND from the Tax. Broken bones below the waist, plus my wrists, mid-spine and hands. My teeth were the most interesting..it felt as though they were expanding from the inside and trying to get bigger. Shite, I can tell you! I put up with it during the day (and my family put up with me) but I took the ibup at night. Watch out for acid-glass-shard-gut too. I have a drug which suppresses acid for that, but the most relief I've had has come from a teaspoon of slippery elm powder (in water) before I go to bed. (And I'm not a witch or a hippy   ). Look forward! It is so c-o-o-l to be done.

Rock, I bought a $3 waffle-weave blanket from the op-shop (KING SIZE!) and put that on the bed last night, along with a super-light-weight dacron coverlet and only had TWO melts! I woke up today feeling as though I had slept.

Jennie, have you had both pits done? Or 'just' 11 out of one pit? Je concurr! Prevention is everything! I saw some sleeves on the net that looked a bit goth..I'm going for those, if I can remember to go get measured somewhere. I get really distressed when I read about other girls who have to wrap THEIR WHOLE BODY.  WTF!!!!??? Survivors??? I think not.

I had a Antitoot (like an Antichrist) experience yesterday and then a Supertoot. I thought my house was ok....ish.. until a friend came round with his son. Now, I know his wife has a thing for hoarding so I never worry about his visits. But yesterday I could see him very discreetly stealing looks around my living area. Then..you know how you focus a camera on something?? My domestic vision came into focus. Oh the horror. Have I really been THAT off the job? Admittedly, the fridge-pulled-out made it look worse. (I was cleaning behind it.) (Don't look alarmed, girls, the repair man was coming). But wow! what a neglected bomb-site. Sad, sad antitoot.

By 6pm last night it was restored to its former, albeit relative, glory and a chicken lasagne had been cooked for the troops.

RanD!  clap-clap-clap   RanD!    clap-clap-clap    RanD!    clap-clap-clap   RanD! 

Linda/Kerry~ I got a total of 11 nodes out. But the way mine has been going the therapist thinks that I won't have a problem with it or that it may go away all together. I am all for that. The whole thought of it freaks me out to no end. Either way I am trying to learn how to do it by myself just in case. I've seen pics of full blown LD and I never want to get to that point if I can help it.

sleeves: I got measured for one this past week. If my insurance pays for it I am going to get the one that comes up to the top of your shoulder and has the strap that goes across the chest. I think I will be able to get one off the shelf instead of custom fit... hopefully.

nodes: just one pit, one is bad enough. The surgery site is right in the crook of my armpit and my bra edge tends to fall right on top of it. I need to find something that works in that area.

Linda~ please don't wait till you have a problem to get it looked at. At least meet with them once get some baseline dimensions so you can keep a check on it at home. And they can tell you how to do the at home massage on days you might need it. I have some video links myself I need to watch and work on my technique.

waffle weave blankie: OHHHH I have one of these too and I LOVE IT! Darn things stretch after a few years of love though.

Spent the day out running amuck. Ran into walmart and picked up a few decorations for outside. My son is driving us nuts wanting to put up the stuff. Me... I'm a cmas decorator. I want one of those houses that light up the block. Bad side to that is that the neighbors keep catching up to me because our house looked good. I'd rather that happen then look around and not see any lights for the holidays. I still love to drive around, listen to cmas music and looks at the lights. Oops got sidetracked..... anyway got a HUGE spider web for the front of the house that lights up. That is good enough for halloween. I found a display in the garden center of spring bulbs that the proceeds went to SGK foundation. I got me a few of those to plant. I also got to meet a fellow baldy for the first time in real life. I noticed her and just walked up and asked how she was feeling today. She also had just finished up her chemo recently. It was a nice day out. The air is crisp, the gas was 50 cents cheaper and the sun was shining ahhhhhhhhhhh :O)

If I hadn't done something horrible to my eye (don't ask me what, because I have no idea, but it feels as though i may have gouged it with a protractor), I'd type more but for now, suffice it to say that i love this batch of posts.  people are running, moving fridges, looking ahead to big xmas yard extravaganzas, hitting the farmers market . . . the ordinary stuff of life. nice to be reminded that it is not all insomnia, bone aches and hot flashes!

I had a good day and plan to have another good one tomorrow (hopefully one that includes a long overdue walk). Spoke to my little sister on the phone tonight; it felt so good to laugh.

xoxoxo 

waffle weave blanket, hmmmmmmmmm...

I am doing the "run for the cure" walk / run thingy here tomorrow. Linda, you would kick my ass

( I considered asking you to come over here to do it with me, but I forgot to verbalise/ type that thought until it was too late) My BF is doing it with me. I told him I wanted to but if I did it alone I would likely hit some waaay too happy pink wearing 'lady' with my shovel when she called me a survivor. 

When my body stops aching, my scalp is no longer visible through my hair and I lose this nasty 10 lbs then I might call myself a survivor. 

 I plan to wear black tomorrow, which is easy because I always wear black. 

Chemooo to Gracie and Cris...no more se's for you! 

 I never knew anything about LD and flying. I am flying this week, should I be worried?

I still have a little swelling in the lymph area and cannot feel my armpit( creepy.. I shaved tonight for the first time and cannot feel the blade on my skin) but my arm has never really been swollen. 

Bed. glad to see many of you on facebook. Gracie, come and find us! 

  xoN

Dammit!   I was just examining my eyebrow stubble, to see how much it had grown in the two hours since I last examined it, and discovered that I'm still losing eyelashes.  They used to be merely sparse; now, they're sparse with big gaps in between.  When did that happen -- and more importantly, when will it stop??  (No need to answer, I'm just venting.)

Jen, grace and running have absolutely nothing to do with one another.  Or they do, but in an inverse way.  You wouldn't believe the number of times I've come back from a run dripping blood, having tripped over nothing.  I once managed to fall and mangle my knee while standing still (long story).  A lot of my running friends have similar stories.  I sometimes wonder: is there something about running that makes people clumsy?  Or do we become runners because we're too clumsy to be good at any sport that involves eye-hand (or eye-foot) coordination?  Whatever.  You clearly have what it takes to be an excellent runner.

Noelle, can't wait to hear your race report.  And you've got me thinking: one of the events that's on my list of "races I want to do before I hang up my running shoes" is the "Around the Bay 30K"  right in your neck of the woods.  I was hoping to do it this year, in fact, but this cancer shite got in the way.  Maybe 2009 can be the year.  I hear Hamilton, ON is lovely in March.  (KIDDING . . . about Hamilton in March, not about doing the race.)

Randie, hope you're resting up and being coddled by others.

Linda

Ladies,

Boy did I fall behind....Chris love your picture and congrats on completing CHEMO!!!!!

Sue, hope your relaxing on a couch somewhere, thinking of you, hope all is well. 

Trying to set-up a face book but they never send an email to confirm my account. Now my email is taken. I'll be looking for you all once they send the confirmation to me.

Noelle, you asked about how many treatments of herceptin I had before my numbers dropped. I had 4 with taxol and so far two on its own. The muga scan last week indicated the drop. I'm scheduled for another treatment in two weeks and another muga right after that to see if I can continue.  

Linda, I'm with you darlin, I have three lashes on one eye and maybe four on the other. My eyebrows are coming in though and my hair is about a 1/4 inch salt and pepper.

I had 14 nodes out and also have no feeling in the pit. Girls in my group that are a few years out tell me that most of their feeling came back. I'm really swollen and have been measured to keep track of my arm dimension. I'm 1/3 done with rads and get checked every week.

I admire you girls that have the strength to run. These rads put me in bed so early.

Raining here, going shopping.

Mary 

hey all,

still in the hospital, going home tomorrow.  so far, so good, a bit of pain, just hard to reach forward, but i am up and walking. no frozen shoulders here!

more tomorrow, will lurk and read since typing is hard.

randie

okay, tv really sucks here, I wnt my FoodTV!!!!! Big Fat Greek Wedding is on, hoping that Bridezilla will be in next,'

Will do Facebook when I get home,

ths food here is really good, amazing actually!

pian is managable, drains are a freakin nightmare, my left side is barely draining, but they won;t remove until friday, FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK  right side feels better than the left, maybe its just more numb.  Been taking my vicodin every 3 hours and actually sleeping that whole time at night.  Love the night nurses, they will not wake me for vitals if i am sleeping, yeah team!

My room mate is freakin 86 and has visitors and phone calls from 730 on, piss on her! Plus, she's on Lasix and gets up every hour and has a nurse visit evry 2 all night long, which means the lights come on.  I manage to pull my covers over my face and sleep.  I have my movies (just finished 7th heaven, next Eli Stone), so that keeps me occupied.

this feels like chemo brain stream of consciousness....lol...will write/ramble more later...

thanks for being there guys! ran

Randie, Randie, Randie: so good to hear from you!!  Your ability to sleep through all that is truly amazing.  And the food is good, you say?  Wow, that's even more amazing!

I just knew you were going to love those drains, lol.  (Are they stripping the bejeezus out of the one that isn't draining?)

Thinking of you,

Linda

there's not much coming out of it since the lymph nodes were left on the left...lol...they expect less.

as far as the food, lunch was steak and baked potato, veggies, chicken soup and raspberry cheesecake, I feel my ass growing already! seriously good instituional food here!

biggest pain, having to pee into that freaking pee hat and not get the gown in the toilet, yup already happened last night.

Since this is a teaching hospital, I have 2 nurses, the real one and the student, who is creeping me out by asking me repeatedly if I want a bath, LEAVE ME ALONE!  He is trying to be helpful, but he is a hoverer and I hate hovering.  Oh well, he leaves at 3, or in my new time telling manner, he is one vicodine from going home.....

what a great looking group we are!

could be worse... could look like prunes instead of apples LOL

She has risen!!!  Welcome back Ran! You are pretty chirpy considering the sleep deprivation ,and good to see  an expletive or two appropriately placed. Maybe an appropriately placed dong on the head for your neighbor as well. When I was I hospital last time (emphasize LAST time !!) there was a guy across the corridor who couldn't talk so he TAPPED!!! On ANYTHING!! I think everyone on that floor conspired to kill him, including myself.

 The BEST thing about this modern 'empowered patient' approach to health care is that we can look the irritating nurse in the eye and say "The decision about bathing will be made by ME and ME alone!" (You can add, "So feck off!" and then blame it on the drugs..)  Having said that..I wouldn't be a nurse for quids. I am sure WE are all perfect patients but boy..that guy with the tapping....

I don't know about you, but in a totally bizarre way I kind of enjoyed the flat-chestedness thing. Maybe I was just in shock. I didn't enjoy having one BIG boob and...nothing...but I decided really small boobs would be cool. So that's my plan for May next year: incy-wincy ones and I'll be buying my bras in the supermarket instead of in the 'Maximum Support' section of the specialist corsetry shops. Sigh.  Take care, girl. You are a champ.

Ellenoire! Way good on the run! Was is a sea of pink? Was that ok? is this your first BC run? Did you feel really aggressive while your were running because of the bc thing?    Feck..I'm sounding like route53  lol!  XX 

brushed my teeth who hooooo feelng human again

i was a little surporsed at the apple look, guess I just expected it to look more healed, less swollen.  I asked the surgeon if he could make the sutures in the shape of lightening bolts so the scar woudl look awesome, he said no, but the cute resident said he would work on it for future patients, sii I am making my mark in the bc world....lol

my 6 yo ds came yesterday and had to peek at the dressings, then he was fine and asked for my leftover juices from lunch and dinner....so far dh and kids seem to be okay with it.  Again, it goes back to my attitude right?  And thanks to all of you, that is doing better by the minute.

Kerry, loveyour countyr, spent 3 weeks in Manly 15 yeard ago and loved the view, people and food.

BTW, lost another pound of water weight today, yes, it does go away!!!!

Noelle~ I grabbed up a bottle of biotene to take with my tamoxifin. The tamox makes your hair thin so I figure maybe this will counteract that.

It took me about 10 pics to try and get just one that showed hair... wasn't totally happy with that one at least it showed something lol