Starting Chemo May 2008

GO Cris!!!!!!!! I'm waving my arms at you from the other side. Let me know if you want me to dive in and pull you thru tomorrow!!

Randie~ this is one thing I wish they hadn't done when I had mine. They asked before I went into surgery if I wanted pain balls. I said yes..... They are literally a ball that hangs from your neck and constantly drips pain meds into you... kinda like a picc line. They are SUPPOSED to be turned on when you get out of surgery... mine however were not. They forgot to turn them on. When they did turn them on, to be honest I felt no difference. I had 2 of them going and they weighed about 5-10 pounds total and hurt my neck. So if you remember ask about them before you go under and see if you can take a look at one to see if thats what you want to use. I put my poor mom thru pulling them out after I got home.

Good luck sweetie, we will all be pulling for you!

Pain balls.....a pretty picture this does not make.

Seriously though...I've never heard of these. 

LOL Randie...Sam's logic just makes me think how wonderful a mom you must be that he even considers donation as an option OR how what you are doing benefits another.  Get tons of rest (ok..in a hospital this is negotiable) and I'll be thinking of you.

Cris, my swimming togs are at the ready.

RanD, all Jens talk about pain meds reminded me. I had a lot of pain and the pain meds made me super barfy. They had to super dose me with morphine on top of the percs and lots of...( oh god, chemo brain) that high end anti nausea med we all took during A/C. I barfed all over my bed more than once until they worked this out. Ondansitron- that's the name of the anti nausea med. 

.. oh and then there was the time just after surgery when I fell asleep eating toast... good thing my friend was there to laugh at me.... and wake me up.  BF and a local BFF thought it would be fun to take pics of me with funny things piled on me while I was passed out, thankfully they chose not to go ahead with that prank. 

 Night y'all. I gotta get some sleep. 

 xoN

 P.S.

Siouxie- how was the trip??Karin? where u at?

Gracie, you strong and silent? 

Mary- you mean your MUGA score dropped? How many Herceptin tx have you had? 

CRIS!!  In true Barry Manilow showman style:  "Looks like we made it!"  **

Woo-hooooooooooooooooooo!  I am so very happy for you. After getting swatted with virtually every bloomin' delay, side effect, infection, and medical strangeness known to womankind . . . here you are.  I am so happy.

**Okay, so the words don't otherwise work at all unless maybe you substitute "chemo" for "love" but a) you get the idea and b) hey! these images are from the parts of Central Park that I walk through all the time!.

****

Painballs, falling asleep eating toast, boob donations, boobless horseman and other costume ideas... it's 4:35 am and I'm smiling. Which beats sweating my head off any day.

Rock, I'm not understanding the S Africa thing..are you going intercontinental? I'm with you on the sleep deprivation: I am officially fecked. I haven't slept since last Friday..a few little 'slips' into dreamland but with rude awakenings. The nuclear meltdowns are unbelievable. The SEs are cumulative, yes?   I've been sick (and relatively silent) for 5 days which is a big shock. Normally by day 5 I'm at the top of the mountain, ready to come skipping down but all day today I have been lying here with my glass-shards gut and my every-15-minutes sharts.

You know, I peed myself reading about the sharts and serious squirts, but who me??? THAT would never happen to MOI!. Well, happen it has....

What's everyone thinking about tamoxifen et al? My hub and I have been talking it through. Does anyone have the stats on increased survival if we do these therapies? I am SERIOUSLY weighing up the second-rate lifestyle V survival thing in all my sleepless hours. I don't mind losing my right breast ( or left one, depending on which report you read...) but I DO mind losing my piss-taking sense of humor.  Help me out here girls, I need your collective wisdom. 

RanD, it's Friday here tomorrow...is it the same there? I'm thinking of you girl. You will be great! 

Cris-thinking of you today as you finish chemo!  Looking forward to your pics!

First taxotere yesterday-pretty uneventful.  No Emend this time around-said I shouldn't need it as the nausea isn't as bad--yeah right.  It hit around 9pm last night and DH said I was making weird noises in my fitful sleep, like I was going to be sick.  Up early this morning, still nauseous.  Steroids are the pits too!  Just 3 more to go and I am done!  I hate taking pills.  Even took an extra Xanax last night hoping it would counteract the steroids (onc told me to).  Still tossed and turned all night.  I already see a nap in my future!

Rock--Barry Manilow fan here!  I'm supposed to start tamoxifen after rads, DH isn't too sure--we were watching House the other night and they mentioned heart/respiratory failure as an adverse reaction and he looked at me as said "THAT's what they are going to give you?"  Me thinks that it kind of scared him.  He is very protective.

Hope that everyone has a great Thursday!

Okay, I am going to try again really fast before I get heavy into work. Ramblings a coming so skip if you aren't ready.

Roxi and Kristy and others considering Halloween: I think we should get together and have one of us dress as a breast. Then two of us who are still baldies (okay, that means nearly all of us) could put a leash on the person dressed as a breast and go as two men walking abreast. Oh my, this reminds me, Kerry, that the sense of humor does return.

We have all had times when we feel funnier than others, but once the sting and sorrow and pain of the idea of just taking care of yourself 24/7 for the next chemo zap goes away, I am finding my sense of humor returning. It all goes back to figuring out the new normal, Kerry, and I DO think we ought to weigh out drugs vs. not drugs vs surgeries etc., etc., but know that as human beings, we are so fecking (isn't that the way you spell it?) resilliant that we find ourselves again and go on.

Cris, WOO HOO again. We are waiting or diving in to help. We want to hear how it went and see that pole dance if you're doing one.

RanD, your son is adorable. As far as surgery and pain go, I have a very different read on it. I had a different experience at my mastectomy. They gave me some kind of pain medication in my IV bag and I was there over night, but went home early the next morning. I only had one breast removed (wish it was both at this point) but I never had to take anything more than tylenol or ibuprofen. I used ice a lot, a lot those first several days. Also, this is counterintuitive but the best advice my surgeon gave me was to get those arms (in my case, one arm) up above my head ASAP after surgery. Your body will want to "protect" your new "injury" but it is imperative to get that range of motion going as soon as you can -- even if it means hurting a bit. My surgeon sent her nurse the day after and had me stand up against the wall and creep my arm up above my head as far as I could go -- even though it hurt. My surgeon said it was better to hurt a little than to continue to "protect" as those first few days are key in terms of range of motion. In your case, it will be different as you are losing more nodes, but please, please ask your surgeon or the nurse about how to get yourself into movement as soon as possible. As far as pain meds, you know your tolerance and don't be a hero. Take what you need, but know that not everyone needs that and that the ice really helped me more than the meds.

Roc, I sent you a song on your Facebook for good times and for bad. I am so sorry you've been feeling down, but I am behind so I am hoping you are feeling better now. As far as the sleeping meds go, do what you need to do. We are all in a place of what I think they call "periodic depression." Though some of us are finishing chemo (only three more for some and YES, steroid suck, suck suck!) or going through rads or dealing with herceptin infusions, or even just dealing with waiting for those NOSEHAIRS and eyebrows and stuff, we are dancing in limbo...we had a battle plan...we got through and now we are on to next steps. It is NORMAL to feel down as Karin did or Roc or any of us, but we will bove through this stage as well then come out the other end stronger, wiser and maybe ready to appreciate the world even more than we did before.

Kristy and Otter -- love, love,love finally seeing what you both look like. You are lovely women.

Karin, hope your fever is long gone.

Okay, on to manky. In our family, our younger son called his thumb (which he loved to suck), his manky. If he lost a dessert privilege, he inevitably would come back with a line like this -- "I don't care if I don't get dessert, Mommy, because I've got my manky and it tastes like vanilla so I don't NEED dessert." So, I hear a different meaning for manky and I'm not sure I can buy in on that one yet.

That's it for now. Managing my mom, my boys, my still-angry husband and the high holidays are doing me in...thank goodness for work. Ciao lovely women.

Thanks Eddie, that was like getting one of those free neck-rubs when you are out shopping..what a treat!

I actually slept last night and feel a bit stunned today..I'm LOVING that, compared to the other feeling.  My gut is still very taxo-teary and sharty but my poor chemo-cat (Christina the Astonishing) has got that full-on spring shedding fur-ball problem going on and is waiting not very patiently for the Cat-Lax to start up some sharts. Sigh..what a household we are here. 

I'm also interested in the 'angry husband' thing. I can't fault Drew through this..I am stunned by him. But there is that bit of' active volcano' about him. We have talked a lot about IT the last two nights and how we are crawling to the finishing post. I am just gutted for you you girls who have to go for 40 million rads and all the other shite still. Will it ever fecking end....?  

Christine, despite my International -Standard whining, post chemo is the ONLY world worth being in! WELCOME!!!!

RanD..you will be right in my headspace over the next week. Get those arms/shoulders moving asap ..you've got a boy..that's going to mean climbing stuff, lugging bikes, casting flies, catching footballs, trying to restrain BIG dogs etc. No delicate cross-stitching and blusher-application in YOUR house! You are going to need those arms! XXX

Girls, I put a World Sunlight Map on my desktop so I have a better understanding of world times etc. I also put on there one of those notepad things, but I can't remember why exactly..

XXX 

Well..... 1 down 16 to go. I made it thru the first herceptin today. We were told before this it would be only 1/2 hr long and we'd be out the door...... wrong! I guess if I am there every 3 weeks it is a 90 minute ordeal. At least it isn't 3-4 hours long like the taxol was. I napped thru part of it cause of the benedryl and I feel pretty normal at the moment. I'm all for that. I keep waiting on se's to hit like all the other times. Talked to the onc about %'s today. About it coming back and junk. I guess with my exact diagnosis 80% of the women are cured and about the same live. Wish it was higher numbers but I'll take what I can get. I was hoping for in the 90's.

About 2 months back, I was in to get my neulasta shot and came across another lady sitting there. She was a week or so away from her surgery, she had chemo first like some of you. I sat and talked to her a bit and told her my experience with my mastectomy and how I felt that losing my hair was way worse than losing the boob etc. We went over several different things, I got my shot and wished her well as I went out the door. I was sitting there wiating to get hooked up today and I look over... there she sat. I just had to ask how her surgery went. It took her a moment to recognize me and she just lit up. She told me that my talk with her helped her out so much and when different things happened she would think back to our conversation. I told her there had been many times I thought of her also and had hoped all had went well for her. It really brightened my day to know just that little bit helped somebody else going thru the same thing. I believe that God put me in her path that day to ease her mind about what was coming. I didn't get to spend alot of time with her today, her wbc was low so she was coming back the next day. But I'm sure I will see her again in 3 weeks. She is on weekly taxol and me on 3 wk herceptin.

Oh lookie, my post is ALMOST as long as eddie's... I'm going to have to work on that more LOL <wink wink> :O) I'm off to have dinner then to pick up my prescrip of tamoxifin....yay another pill to take.  :OP    <---- new face for rock to swipe

Hi Ladies

I new at this chat.  I have completed 4 chemo & still have 2 to go. I then have 30 radium treatment so should take me into next year.  Lovely thought.  Not so positive today as I feel sick from chemo when I thought this was suppose to be my good week. Last week I had to have a pic line put in my upper arm. For some reason I feel really down about this. I feel like a constant patients when I only agreed to go bald and be a patient once every 3 weeks when I have chemo. The plastic skin they put over this is so itchy it is driving me mad, Have any of you found this happened to you.

I also have to go next friday 10th to have Tattoo for Radium.  Can any of you tell me anything about this. Like how many do the usually do and is it stars, crosses lines, does it hurt.

Today I feel like jumping off this rollercoaster but I know I wont.

Thanks.........Mini

Chemo-for-Christine-feck-off!!! Yeah!

Chemoooooo! Cris!!!

Siouxie! Glad you are around! 

Rock, I had a dream last night that we were talking on the phone.

 Eddie,  I often think about having the other breast gone too.

 Angels glad your time away is almost over

RanD, Will be thinkin' about you all day tomorrow. If you have not already,take pics of your bod with boobs, even if you only have one pic, it is a nice thing to have. Christina Ag did it, I did it, lots of people do it.  I hope you get Eddie's version of surgery and not mine, but I am glad you have us to let you in on all the things you might be up against... 

 I promised I would be in bed early 2 nite and it's already midnight. feck!