Starting Chemo May 2008

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  • SherriM
    SherriM Member Posts: 179
    edited September 2008

    OH dear.  Just read my post from this morning, and thought--questions from my onc's app't yesterday?  I wonder what those were? 

    Otter, whoever did that study that said chemobrain was not a real phenomenon should have included me in their study.

    Sherri

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  • rock
    rock Member Posts: 1,486
    edited September 2008

    Kerry.

    Stage IV?  I do not know how you are processing this. Because I feel like I have been punched in the gut.  I am trying not to panic. I am as confident as I ever get that this is just a mistake or a misunderstanding BUT! this prospect makes me feel sick and sweaty.  I'm not a church-y type. But what's going through my mind is please please please please please please god let kerry not be stage iv.

    Cris & Eddie & Sue? Chemo seems to have whaled (wailed? waled?) away harder on you two than on many of us.  How are you holding up? I mean it... how are you feeling?

    And Eddie -- I had to read your post 3 times before I realized you were not referring to a metaphorical fall down the mountain.  Gosh, but I am glad you are with us still.  I do look forward to staring you straight in the eye and being able to tell you that.  life is long, sisters. And we will see each other.

    Karin -- old news, I know. But I think it is cool that you are considering helping out your friend re: the radiation/ultrasound question.  If you decide to do that, you have the pride in knowing that you have helped in some way hundreds, maybe thousands of women that you will never even meet. That has got to feel good...  You are so very cool. Kind, and cool.

    Lastly -- yesterday I learned that a 30 year old guy I know (we shared good friends and spent holidays together for the last 2-3 years...including a xmas party on a houseboat parked on the Bronx River) had an epileptic seizure and broke his neck.  Any loss of life is, well, a loss. But O was a particularly special guy.  Did a lot of social justice work in Latin America and had started a Fair Trade business manufacturing school uniforms. I am so glad I knew him. I am so very sorry he died.

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  • kerry_lamb
    kerry_lamb Member Posts: 778
    edited September 2008

    Hey Rock! Your last post was happy, and then I knocked you off your perch! I had the metaphorical fall down the mountain, but I've had all (dexed-up) night to process it. A few cells outside one lymph node, with clear margins, no signs anywhere else in my body and 16 weeks of dating the Chief Poisoner do not a Stage IV make.

    I'll be sent off for PET scan in Melbourne, hopefully when my hub and I are on our celebration junket there late November, so I guess I'll know then. Get this: Tasmania has owned a PET scanner for about 18 months but the state government has been involved in a snap and snarl about whether or not it goes into the Hobart public hospital or into a private one. Meanwhile, patients fly interstate..IF they're able to travel. Gr-r-r-r.

    The big news is I start my diet/exercise battle (bigger than BC!!) today (after I get off the couch) . I don't care how tired I am..I don't care how beautiful the champagne is that Drew has made..I DO NOT want a re-run of this year.

    Rock, I'm sorry for your friend's death. I struggle to get my head around the loss of young people. It really does comes down to this: The way he died is irrelevant. The way he lived is everything. Starting the Fair Trade biz...WOW. Makes us think, doesn't it...?

    I had a amazing boy in my tutor group at school five years ago. He impacted on EVERYONE he interacted with. No-one doubted he would be College Captain (BIG). But he left to what he loved: building. When he was 18, he knocked off work one day, boarded the light plane with three others to fly across a little strip of water home. The plane took off and immediately crashed into the sea, killing all on board. I have a photocopy of the last words he ever wrote (at a camp the weekend before he died): Live life, and Love. Love life, and LIVE. When I make my big fat (50th birthday) gold ring, I'm having it engraved with those words to remind me why we are really here. 

    I too really feel for those of ya'll who are struggling financially. We were devastated last Nov when my hub was made redundant (by J&J!!) but there was the (unknown-at-the-time) benefit of the redundancy payout we paid out the credit cards and paid all our rates in advance and fixed up the house a bit. All that gave us some breathing space for this year when my teaching hours were unexpectedly reduced and the medical out-of-pockets rolled in. There was no way we could have survived otherwise. And Drew started his new job (with no-questions asked carer's leave) on the day of my mastectomy!

    Never an ordinary day have I lived.....

    XXXKerry 

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  • rock
    rock Member Posts: 1,486
    edited September 2008

    I forgot to add that no matter what happens to you, Kerry, or any of us, we will DEAL.  (I know it didn't sound like I was in a dealing kind of place but I was and I am.)

     xo 

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  • ewesterman
    ewesterman Member Posts: 417
    edited September 2008

    Wow. Lots of postings. Kerry, go girl on the diet and exercise. I have started my program as well. It feels good to move and not get winded. Rock, so sorry, too, about your friend's death. Sounds like an amazing fellow. Kerry, what I know about stages of cancer is that they are just numbers. I have two friends in stage 4 who have been doing very well, thank you very much, for many years. Don't sweat the numbers unless they tell you to sweat the numbers then we'll all sweat together.

    Did I tell you my dear mom told me, last week, that she lost all of her friends because of me? Yup. She said they tell her she should have come to take care of me and since I didn't "let" her come, her friends dropped her. Remember, this is the same mom who said she'd commit suicide if I died of cancer so no great surprises. She's a trip. I am lucky to have her healthy and thinking I know, especially as many of you and many of our other friends have lost parents, but I'm telling you she is a trip and coming here to Seattle on Sunday afternoon for two weeks. Surprised Hope you all have a crisp and lovely weekend.

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  • lewing
    lewing Member Posts: 1,288
    edited September 2008

    Kerry, I was stunned to read your post about seeing "stage IV" in your chart.  Stunned, and sick, and also really, really puzzled.  It reads like a mistake: as you say, nothing in your case indicates stage IV.  And your course of treatment doesn't indicate stage IV, either.  And it's hard to imagine that your drs would "forget" to tell you about a distant metastasis.  I hope all this gets cleared up, and soon! 

    What really rankles is that this coincides with your big, exciting last treatment, so that instead of feeling relieved and celebrating a little and battening down the hatches for the last round of nasty Taxotere SEs, you're being forced to worry.

    Rock, I am so very sorry about your friend.  He sounds like a terrific person who made a difference during his life.  (I write that, meaning it as words of comfort, but knowing that sometimes, especially when the loss is raw, it only makes the heart rebel at death's unfairness.  Sorry.)

    Eddie, your mom does indeed sound like a trip.  Two weeks??  Happy holidays!

    Linda

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  • ellenoire
    ellenoire Member Posts: 674
    edited September 2008

    Morning all.

    I am off to work --- will catch up later. 

    N

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  • Jeano77
    Jeano77 Member Posts: 237
    edited September 2008

    Kerry - Congrats to you on the last chemo and welcome to the other side!  This is a time to be happy you are finished and I am sorry that it is clouded with digesting new information.  I am completely with Eddie on this - stages are numbers - I also know folks that were stage 4 doing VERY well.   

    Rock -  Sorry to hear the news about your friend,  He sounds like an incredible man who made an significant impact in such a short life.  So sorry.

    Eddie - That is sooooo not fair that you Mom would have told you either of those things, but it seems that you rolling with it okay.  Is it possible that she has a bit of a dramatic flair that you are accustomed to?  Hoping you have a wonderful two weeks together. 

    Noelle - I have been running anywhere from 3 - 4.5 miles each day.  I have had little bone pain over the past two weeks (30 days out from chemo now), but still fighting the neuropathy in the feet.  They are numb and tingling when I get up, when I run, basically all of the time.  Note that I am not training very hard.  I am doing easy 8-9 minute miles (with breaks if needed) to try to keep my fatigue to a minimum, which has been bad lately.  I ran a 5k two years back in 18:40, I hope to break 26 minutes tomorrow. 

    Enjoy the weekend all!

    Jean

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  • SherriM
    SherriM Member Posts: 179
    edited September 2008

    Rock--I'm so sorry about the loss of your friend.  Death just so sucks, and especially such a young, senseless and unexpected death.

    Well, the brain cell on which my question from the onc's visit resides fired after a good night's sleep, so here goes.   I will be seeing the radiation onc next Tuesday and hopefully starting rads the followng week.  From what I've gathered from most of the threads on the subject, hormone therapy starts after rads for most people.  Is that true, or just my imagination?  He gave me a script and samples for Arimadex, and I wasn't expecting it, so wasn't prepared to ask my gazillion questions about it.  I thought I wouldn't be starting (if I decide to do hormone therapy at all) till after rads.  And quite frankly, right now I'm still feeling puny from chemo and can't face putting another drug in my body till I'm over the last ones!!  

    So, those of you who have recently started rads, have you started hormone therapy too?

    Thanks, and everyone have a great weekend!!

    Sherri

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  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited September 2008

    Who here is tired of painting in eyebrows and faking in eyelashes? Yell out NOSEHAIRS if you are with me!

    Heading out today for the garlic festival. I will have free kisses for each of you when I get home LOL

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  • drcrisc
    drcrisc Member Posts: 836
    edited September 2008

    Rock - So, so sorry about your friend.  It is so hard to lose someone.

    Kerry - I agree - I don't see how you can be Stage IV.  That just doesn't make sense to me either given your other stats.  However, I am not a medical doctor.  But I would definitely question that.

    Eddie - I, too, have a mom that takes things that are about ME and makes them about HER.  That's what that comment sounded like to me.  But your bc is about you.  Just keep repeating that mantra for two weeks...

    Sorry I'm not responding to everyone - barely had time to read/catch up.  DD and I are off again this weekend to Visalia for her first fall competition.  Be bac later tomorrow!!

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  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited September 2008

    Home from the garlic fest.. who wants their kiss first????

    Saw something there that really bugged me. There was a "nutritional drink" being sold by one group. I am standing there looking around and I noticed a soy drink with a big ole pink ribbon on the side. I asked the girl why they were aiming that towards bc women. She tried to sell me a can of it saying that it was good nutrition for bc patients. I tried to tell her that they needed to be careful because some bc women cannot have the soy products. She flat out told me that it was made by scientists that knew what they were doing and the doctors do not, and it was the good part of the soy plant not the bad part that was used. Now I was told very little or no soy at all because of being er+ and the body thinks it is estrogen blah blah. The lady got very defensive over the whole deal. I took the pamplets and such just to make her happy and left it at that. yikes, I hope they don't sell it to the wrong person.

    Rock~ I'm so sorry about your friend.

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  • lewing
    lewing Member Posts: 1,288
    edited September 2008

    NOSEHAIRS!!!

    Other than the eyebrow/lash thing, and the chemopausal/tamoxifenal hot flashes, dry eyes are my longest-lingering chemo SE.  Are others experiencing that as well?  Oh, and my thumbnails still hurt.  Not all the time, the way they did during chemo, but if I try to use them (f'rinstance, to pry open the $#%&! lid on a spice container) -- ouch! 

    No neuropathy, though, for which I'm really, really grateful.

    Noelle, on your workout question . . . I don't notice any increased stiffness.  But I haven't been doing any real workouts, just easy running at the same 8-9 minute pace as Jean (hey, Jean, if we were closer, we could run together - I'm too slow to run with my regular training partner these days!!).  Plus, when I'm running a lot, I just kind of take it for granted that I'll be at least a little sore and stiff much of the time.  I take the fact that I'm noticing my hamstrings again as a sign that life is returning to normal.  

    (And Jean - wow!  That's a smokin' fast 5K time for a master.  Wow!  My best is 19:20, also two years ago.  I doubt I'll get close to that again.  Good luck this weekend, I'm betting you surprise yourself and break 26 easily.)

    Linda 

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  • rock
    rock Member Posts: 1,486
    edited September 2008

    Random things . . .

    Kristy -- what do you think it's gonna be like sans ovaries? Do you the menopausal symptoms will be even more intense?  I'm managing them okay, but the hot flashes and the disrupted sleep are getting a bit old.

    Stiffness.  I'm not exercising, just walking a lot like I usually do but man oh man, I am stiff! My legs are quite sore and today, my back is aching.  I'm wondering if this is my bone marrow production coming back to life or something....

    Rainy day, here. I'm going to take a nap and then try to clean my bedroom. Piles of clothes and books do not exactly communicate "I'm in the mood for romance..."

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  • ellenoire
    ellenoire Member Posts: 674
    edited September 2008

    Romance?? what? Rocko did I miss something?

     I am off again to an outdoor Pizza oven party, then to TO for dinner with an old friend( who ironically knew Paul Newman RIP) and then dancing at the goth/ retro club

     kisses to all garlic or not. 

    N

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  • kerry_lamb
    kerry_lamb Member Posts: 778
    edited September 2008

    Romance, Rock? Have yu got a litle something on your mind......?

    I'ts 5.30 here in Tascrazier and I've had a good 'rest' overnight, if not the sleep-of-the-dead I need! I have relaxed about the staging (simply can't be stage V..(the typing said iV)..and am feeling great. What a bloody difference it makes to know there's not  another one of these 3-weekly marathons to get through. I had the neulasta shot yesterday and no symptoms yet but I guess that makes sense..they will come but I don't give a feck! I'm more concerned about only drinking alcohol 3 times a year! I've had some doosies of nuclear-reaction flushing (complete with new broken capillaries) but I'm booked in to get them lasered in December..oh yes! It's all about me, me me! I can't believe this happy headspace I am in..but I am cyber-ly detecting that this is not the case with some of you girls.....'Noire? Hope your days and nights get better..sleep deprivation and money-irritations do not a happy chemo-queen make.

    Eddie, your clan sounds a bit like mine. That fall, followed the ski down and all the rest that's followed is pretty much in line with how we do things. My Dad is 76 and roams around Aus all winter. He travels with a cool caravan and they do a lot of house-sitting. He tries to stick to the coast because he wants to swim and run on the beach every day. He had a shocking farming accident when he was about 52 and should have lost his right arm. Nup. Better than ever!

    The mother thing is a really interesting one. Mine died (of lung & brain tumors after battling mouth cancer for years) about 7 years ago. I have this feeling like I dreamt our relationship. She was a VERY difficult woman and yes, did that blaming/health competition thing ALL MY LIFE. She was an alcoholic and made my Dad's life so hard, but she blamed ME (loudly and daily) for 'ruining their relationship'. 

    Despite all that shite, I learned a thing or two about tenacity from her. She even died with her eyes half open (.."defiant to the end" was how my Dad described it.) Good luck with the visit..I hope it doesn't unhinge you after the GREAT progress you are making.XX

    I have to learn to post pics here because I stared in disbelief at my reflection last night. LESS eyelashes but WTF????? I have a REAL 5 o'clock shadow over the left half of my head! Patch??No... Spot?? No....what do you call a half-head post-chemo hair growth???    XXKerry

    PS I've just previewed..it's another dexessay ..sigh..and I'm not done yet. I feel I might give that Route guy a good talking to. I'm over his ' We got our drains out today and we are resting comfortably, I do appreciate the support we get from you'  posts.......

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  • KristyAnn
    KristyAnn Member Posts: 793
    edited September 2008

    NOSEHAIRS but I must confess I kind of quit painting on the eyebrows as soon as they were coming back!

    Rock, Chemo moved me from perimenopase to post menopause- onc nurse said the arimidex (I think) might make some of the menopausal symptoms come back but I havent had a tough time with them- a few hot flashes during chemo was it.

    Sorry to hear about your friend.

    I called my insurance company and Nordstrom is not one of their providers so I guess I have to chek into other places for prosthesis when all the rads are finished.

    Kristy 

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  • Roxi65229
    Roxi65229 Member Posts: 462
    edited September 2008

    NOSEHAIRS!!!! Sherri, I'm not a candidate for hormone therapy so no help from me, sorry...

    Rock, so sorry to hear about your friend. Thinking of you...

    Jeam, good luck on your race tomorrow. That's awesome. Wish I had the energy.

    Kerry, I agree with everyone. I would ask for more explanations, just doesn'y seem righto

    Eddie, good luck and enjoy the next few weeks with your mom. Hope it goes well for you. 

    Ellenoire, I just heard aboit Paul Newman. I loved him. 

    Sable, where was your garlicfest, sounds amazing. I love garlic.

    Rock, me too in experiencing post menopause. Not too bad with the se's.

    To all my friends, off to bed, exhausted....

    Christine, good luck at the competition. My oldest was a big time cheerleader. I loved the competitions.

    Mary 

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  • ranD
    ranD Member Posts: 373
    edited September 2008

    Whew, that was a lot to catch up on!  I hav been hiding out for the last week and now can come out and play!

    SOrry about the friends, Rock, congrats Kerry, hey and all to anyone else I missed.

    Big updates.  met with the surgeon last week and both of the boobies will be gone next Friday.  He is reclassifying me as a Stage 1 after the chemo, so no rads, YEAH!  He will be removing th bottom 7 or 8 lymph nodes just to be safe.  He didn' t think node biopsy would be accurate after the chemo, so he would rather be safe and remove the lower ones that tested positive before. Oh and I can get the ovaries out, it will just have to later in the year as soon as I recover from Fri. surgery.

    So, right now, I am angsting over the surgery that almost all of you have been thru. It seems a little bit daunting, but after chemo, what the hell, right? Now, I need to get my supplies lined up.

    Went to Costco today and loaded the freezer up so I don;t have to eat grilled animal every night, lol, that is dh's idea of home cooking.  I want my veggies and chicken pot pie and non BBQ items.

    WEll, I gotta run and will write more later, randie

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  • kerry_lamb
    kerry_lamb Member Posts: 778
    edited September 2008

    RanD, that is BIG.  So many good wishes for you for Friday. And you are so right..after chemo, this is practically nothing. The most important thing is to keep those shoulders moving..follow your instincts..you will know how much to do and when..remember: you only heal once!

    Don't angst! You've done the hardest thing already. XXX Kerry 

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  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited September 2008

    Randie~ it'll be easier than what you are expecting. Get yourself a fanny pack to put your drains into. It makes it so much easier to get around that way. I even slept with mine on. Get lots of movies and big fluffy pillows for the bed for when you don't feel like moving around. And make sure you take the senekot pills they give you. I didn't for the first few days, wish I had. Good luck daulink!

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  • lewing
    lewing Member Posts: 1,288
    edited September 2008

    Hmmmm . . . "fanny pack" takes on new meaning, thanks to Kerry!

    Good luck with the surgery, Randie.  If you haven't already looked over the "surgery" topic, you'll find some good threads there with helpful hints.  Getting into and out of bed is always a big challenge.  A lot of women sleep in recliners for a while; I made do with lots and lots of pillows.

    Linda

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  • rock
    rock Member Posts: 1,486
    edited September 2008

    Thanks for the good wishes.  

    Randie -- I have no experience with masectomies but maybe I can help you out with some movie recommendations.  Do you like to watch movies? Any particular kind? (I'm a huge fan of documentaries, my self.  Last night I watched "Young at Heart" about a group of octagenarians who perform songs by the Ramones, the Talking Heads, James Brown.)

    Run, Jean, Run! 

    ******

    No romance.  But having a bed covered in books and laundry kind of forecloses the possibility, ergo my cleaning effort. I'm resuming cleaning today, I hope. I invited people over on Thursday to watch the debate with me. Partly because I'd like to get to know them better, partly to make me clean my apartment.

    Question: What works on getting ground-in dirt spots out of synthetic rugs/carpets? There are two places I want to treat; the alternative is to turn the whole rug around so that the spots are under a piece of furniture. Or to keep the lighting really dim...

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  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited September 2008

    Just stopping by so you don't worry about me again. Have had a low fever all weekend, 99.2 back and forth to 100.7. As for my tiredness, feels like the flu or bronchitis but don't have their symptoms. Don't know whats causing the fever. See Rad onco tomorrow.

    Randie hoping for a smooth surgery for you and a speedy recovery.

    Rock LOVE the new Avatar. You look like a Vogue model. Sorry to hear about your friend.

    To all others don't have time to read all and catch up. Need to go lye back down on the recliner. Thinking of you all.

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  • MsKarin
    MsKarin Member Posts: 647
    edited September 2008

    Rock - While typing my first message I see you changed Avatar again. Liked the first one better. Thats where you looked like a Vogue model. Although artistically I like this one too.

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  • rock
    rock Member Posts: 1,486
    edited September 2008

    Karin -- fever, eh? And tired out? It sounds like the recliner is the place to be. But it would be nice to know why you're feverish...  Take good care of yourself.  I wish I could be there to make you some tea and plump your pillows.

    Vogue model? That's it, it's going back up. I'm trying to work with the baldness. Now that I have TATTOOS (or "tats"), I think a harder look is called for. :o)  (Jen -- I swiped your emoticon, is that okay? I have always liked the "o".  makes me smile everytime.)

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  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited September 2008

    swipe away dearie. Here have another for later use :O)

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  • Roxi65229
    Roxi65229 Member Posts: 462
    edited September 2008

    RanD, listen to your body. You'll know when to say enuff and just stay immobile. I did sleep in the recliner and loved it. I had my hubby pull me out every morning. The hardest was the late night potty breaks. And make sure and take your stool softener like Jen said. I waited until I needed it and boy was I sorry I did that. Also, take your pain meds. That's what they're there for. Like Linda said, check out the other threads, lots of useful info.

    Rock, love the avatar...you creative one. 

    Karin, hope you feel better soon. Great day for the couch and footbal..

    Love to all, Mary

    P.S. Map soon, I promise. I need better art so I'm scouting around.  

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  • kerry_lamb
    kerry_lamb Member Posts: 778
    edited September 2008

    Rock, before I met Big Jimmy Dancer I used to be he queen of handy hints...not sure I remember much now..A tour of my house will confirm my decline.

    I still have one stepson (23) who rings me up with questions such as, "You know the grimy residue you get on jeans, just above the pocket..how do you get that out?"  I seem to remember synthetic rugs being a dream (as are wool, actually). I use a little dish of soapy mixture (with wool-mix in it) and work it into the stain with taxotere fingertips. Don't get it real wet..Have paper towel handy, although the BEST thing is a slightly damp towel. Choose one from your bed..Then cover the wet area and then firmly tip-toe up and down on it until it's dry. Start at the edges if you can..that way you avoid causing a circle..a kind of bath-ring. Repeat if necessary. The problem with cleaning like this is you may make the rest of the rug look super manky! Have a large piece of furniture ready in case..

    Bloody hell..it's 5.20am here and I'm giving dex-fuelled home hints.

    Karin, I worry about that temp..(flash-backs to pneumonia-days). Get it checked out..might need a little IV full of antibiotics.

    RanD, I found a way of struggling upright which made me use my abs..or what USED to be my abs. It was cool..but I foolishly gave up that method when I 'came good'. sigh...

    5.25am, and chemo-cat and I are wondering if I'll get any sleep tonight.....

    XXX 

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  • Sable
    Sable Member Posts: 738
    edited September 2008

    Every body Pauses and stares at me
    I'm as bald as you can see
    I know just who to blame for this catastrophe!
    But my one wish on Christmas Eve is as plain as it can be!

    All I want for Christmas
    is a head of hair,
    is a head of hair,
    see my nice long hair!

    Gee, if I could only
    have a head of hair,
    then I could go
    without a ha-a-at
    It seems so long since I had hair,
    I used to have it as neat as a tack.
    Gosh oh gee, how happy I'd be,
    if I could only have it back!

    All I want for Christmas
    is a head of hair,
    is a head of hair,
    see my nice long hair!

    Gee, if I could only
    have a head of hair,
    then I could go
    without a ha-a-at!Tongue out

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