Starting Chemo May 2008

OK now for an update for what is going on with me physically. This coming Wednesday it will be 8 weeks since last Taxotere/Cytoxan infusion. I still have very mild neuropathy in my left foot. My right arm still gets that weird sensation like it did after surgery (5/2) but no swelling in it. Sometimes I don't even notice it. It does seem to be getting better but I think the rads have something to do with it still hanging around.

Hair, oh give me a head of hair, long flaxin waxing. First hair to make a come back was of coarse my unwanted facial hair. I am now doing my daily morning plucking. Still have ALL my eyelashes. Waiting for fall-out. Maybe I WILL be one of the lucky ones. As for my eyebrows, they did thin out, a few bare spots but they are now filling in with new growth. I had read some where here on the boards that the eyelashes or eyebrows can fall out a few times before hanging around so I am waiting to see what happens with me.

When I first shaved my head I shaved it down to 1/8 of an inch. It was all very light. I kept a lot of that fuzz through out this whole ordeal. It is now about a ¼ of an inch and very dark around the sides and back. The top is sparser and has more white or grey. Does anyone know, is the top the last to grow?

Rads - 21 down and 13 to go including the boosts. I am now red under arm at SNB area, incision site and nipple area. It is also starting to feel slightly sore. Not really sore but I know its there. I love my rad techs. They make it feel less like being on an assembly line as rock had put it. We joke around a lot and I've made Dan blush a few times. When they leave the room I get to stare at the ceiling and the fish that decorate the tiles. I can say I actually look forward to my treatments and joking around with them every day. Edited to say I forgot to mention that every day around 3:00 I get dog a$$ tired. I try to take a nap but cannot fall asleep.

I know I will have fun with them this week. I think it is on Tuesday that our school is having pajama day. You wear your PJ's to work. I go straight from work to my treatments. I'm NOT going to change. I can imagine the conversations we'll be having that day when I show up in my PJ's and robe.

Hubby just woke up, time to do the breakfast thing.

Karin, Cris, rock, Eddie, Roxi, Otter, Noelle (and anybody I missed)---

I just want to say how much I look forward to coming here every day and seeing the unconditional support, the love, the caring for each other, the advice--I love you all and hope we can get together when we all are done and on with the next chapter.

I just wanted to say,

Thanks.  Very much.  You brighten ALL my days.

Love,

Sue 

Ellenoire.

You mentioned deodorant at one time. What would you recommend? I haven't had to use any since March, weird, but I think things are starting to get back to normal. Hot flashes and perspiring, lovely combination. 

Karin, it's been hard for my husband and I. He's not as intimate as in the past. He's afraid he'll hurt my foob with the implant. I think the hair thing freaks him out too.  This too will pass. 

Chris, no herceptin this week, just starting my rads tomorrow. Wish me luck ladies.

P.S., I'm working on the group map. It'll be fun to see us all geographically.

Love to all, Mary 

Mary ask them about ingredients that make them say that.

I imagine it is about the ingredients in typical products.

My deodorants have alcohol, witch hazel and essential oils in them and that is it.

I use one of those rock crystal deodorants... but now that chemo is over I actually do not need it at all. I have read that these are safe for rads.

Edit.....I just did a little research and yes, I was right. The issue is the aluminum in most anti perspirants and deodorants.

Oh dear, intimacy is such a complicated thing.

Yes Karin, you're right. I'm to steer clear of deodorant. I haven't had to use deodorant in sometime but wanted an alternative for my daughter. Her pediatrician told her not to use deodorant for a few months and she's freaking out. We had a scare with swollen lymphnodes. She really perspires and has had a problem with odor. In fact, we have to buy her the men's deodorant/antiperspirant. I've always heard that we shouldn't use anything at all but thought I would look into natural deodorants.

Eddie, I wish I had answers to your questions. Hopefully someone will. I too, love football. I was suppose to be at the Packer game tonight but had my hubby take his friend. I'll save my energy for the Bears game in November. Ah yes, football in Wisconsin in November. Burrr! Hope you love Holmgren as much as we did. 

Tom's of Maine is the deodorant, the crystal one Noelle mentioned is okay too,  Both are approved for rads, according to my techs and doctor.

Gotta go to bed, up early tomorrow for work.

Hope everyone has a good Monday. 

Hello ladies! Just got back a bit ago from visiting family. First time I have been to my mom's since november! We had a family reunion on saturday at ash cave here in Ohio. Not nearly as many people this year. Funny part.... all us sickies were there though lol. I kept telling them we all showed up looking for sympathy and all we had was each other to complain too. It was still nice. Wore me out too. On the way back I got my salad bar!!! I have been dreaming of this salad bar since the day I was banned from having them till after chemo. I got it cleared with my onc, and man it was good. Got back to my mom's house and she has 9 kittens all around 6 weeks old. My very fav kitty age. I sat and loved on everyone of them I could catch. They have about 19 cats all together and all but the kittens are feral. I even had one of the big feral cats come up to me at one point and actually begged to be petted. I was worried it was gonna tear me up when it first walked up to me. But it headbutted me to see what I would do, so I scratched it with my good arm just in case and it ended up in my lap purring up a storm. Mom said this one had just decided this week it wanted to have human contact. If the rest only knew how much I love kitties and would scratch them till my fingers fell off LOL.

Overall I feel normal at this point. Wish I had all my energy back and the hurty/tingly fingers and toes are a pain, but this too shall pass. Not that I want to add to my treatment, but it feels odd for the "rad"ical ladies to move on and me not being with you. I so want to understand what you all are going thru, but the best I can do is lend you my ear when you need it.

Happy Late Birthday Kerry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was out of town and that's my excuse and I am sticking to it LOL

DEO~I have also used the crystal rock before as deo. I haven't felt like I needed much deo since this has started. Normally I am a put it on twice a day girl cause it wears out on me. Not so much now. Think I will give the rock another go and see how it works for me now. Would love to not have to use any at all, and just smell purdy all the time naturally.

Ladies~ I hope all of you had a wonderful weekend. I sure missed all of you. I had withdrawls out in the woods LOL

Jen and Linda, sounds like a wonderful time for the both of you. Thanks too for all your deodorant tips. I'm gonna check it out. Do I have to buy it at a health foods store? 

Oh y, chemo brain, I guess I am on for herceptin this Wednesday. It;ll be a full day, from chemo to rads. Lucky me!!!

Mary 

Noelle--I love that line about things 'natural'..."yes, but so is gasoline"!  LOL!!  I've been on a crusade against High Fructose Corn Syrup, and my youngest dd called the other day and told me she actually saw a commercial for HFCS, touting the benefits and how 'natural' it is.  Now I'll have a comeback!

I've been using the Crystal deodorant, but also use Burt's Bees Herbal Deodorant, too.  What do you think of Burt's Bees products?  I live in rural east Tennessee, and their products are usually the easiest to find, though some stores are starting to carry Alba products, as well.  Next trip into 'the city' I'll pick up some Badger Sleep Balm, cause I definitely have sleep issues.

Great day to everyone!

Sherri

Hi to everyone-- 

Linda, you asked about Tamoxifen or AI's.  I started on Arimidex in late June, exactly 3 wks after my last Taxotere/Cytoxan treatment.   That means I've been on Arimidex (...wait while otter checks her iCal...) for almost 13 weeks.  My onco said 6 to 8 wks was plenty long enough to know what the SE's would be, except for the bone-thinning of course.  My SE's from Arimidex have been mild to nonexistent.  (My scalp hair is growing back at a snail's pace, but it's thick, so I'm not quite ready to blame Arimidex for the slow growth rate.)

Kristy & Roxi, I saw Tom's of Maine deodorant somewhere really familiar--maybe at a Rite-Aid pharmacy?  Or maybe it was even at the grocery store where I shop most often (Winn-Dixie, which is a southern chain of course).  I don't ever shop at heath food stores (I know, I'm bad), so Noelle is right--Tom's of Maine must be fairly common.

We are on our boat again.  dh is up on deck, washing the boat with some magic stuff that's supposed to make everything all shiny.  My job yesterday was to figure out how to fix the wooden blinds in one of the windows.  The tilt rod (or whatever) broke because the tilt gear gizmo was jammed.  I don't know all the proper mechanical terms, but I managed to explain it all to a window blinds guy via emails and he talked me through a landing ... no I mean we got the broken gizmo out and now the blinds work by hand.  I think the window blinds guy will send us a gizmo if I write back.

I wish y'all could be here.  I don't know if we would all fit on this boat, but it would be close.  There's lots of party room, and a real kitchen (oops--galley), and a "saloon" (small living room), two "cabins" for sleeping, two "heads", a covered deck with deck chairs in back ("aft") and a canvas-covered "flybridge" on top.  I am still kind of scared of it, it's so big.  I took a "power boating" course last fall, and I have the graduation certificate, so I'm supposed to be qualified to handle a boat like this, but ... I'm sure glad it's my dh that handles it in all the scary places.

I've never been very good at risk-taking (let me amend that to say voluntary risk-taking), but I think BC has made me even more cautious than I used to be.  I am easily intimidated by complicated things, and I give up (or panic) fairly quickly.  Curse words just slip out of my mouth when things start to go wrong.  Can I please blame all that on delayed chemo-brain?  One of the first capabilities lost by people with Alzheimer's disease is "executive function," which I've seen defined as "concentration, decision making, and higher-order problem solving".  I wonder if that's true for chemo-brain, too.  (Never mind that study saying there is no such thing as chemo-brain...)

Boy, it's sure a good thing I'm retired...

Hugs to everybody who needs one, and also to everyone who wants to store a hug in case of trouble in the future... 

otter 

Draw backs of knowing your rad onco outside of the center. He asked me if I would be a guinea pig for him. Something about using an ultra sound to find the cavity left from tumor removal for the boosts. He already has my exact markings from the CT and computer that is what he WILL use for MY boosts. There are 2 women that are too big to fit into the CT machine. He is planning on using the ultra sound on them. I guess he wants to see how close the ultra sounds marks the spot compared to the CT and computer. Anyway it is something to that effect. I told him I'd do it because the ultra sound will not do any harm to my body. He just better do it quick before my boob starts to ache otherwise he's not getting near it.

Good evening ladies!  Love the map!  Just noticed that Eddie needs to be added to Washington.  Is there a way to make it bigger so that we can read the names better?  Maybe its just my eyes.  I have a 24" monitor and have to squint to read the names. 

Fammy...welcome!

Kerry - Happy Belated Birthday!

Deoderant - throughout treatment, if I remembered through chemo brain, I used Arm & Hammer Essentials...Aluminum and Paraben Free.  I actually like it.  No obnoxious perfume.  In fact several of my nurses over time commented on how nice I smelled (I hope they weren't feeding me a line...lol)

Linda - I have started on Arimidex.  I'm (let me count)...twelve days in and have no problem so far.  That excludes the ridiculous packaging that you can't get in to take your damn medicine to save your FREAKING life.  Seriously, so far so good but it hasn't been that long.  Chemo induced early onset to menopause so Tamoxifen was taken off the table as an option.  That was fine with me.

I went out for the very first time without a head covering yesterday.  My DH was so proud of me.  We headed out to Costco and it was totally packed!  I forgot I was bald and just enjoyed, as I always do (damn I love that store).  Anywho, I have a good amount of growth on my head.  You can still see my shiny head but really there is alot of hair.  Both dark and light.  I can't tell if the light is blonde or gray.  I'm praying for blonde.  Please, Please, Please!  Haven't I been through enough??

But what is up with the eyebrows and eyelashes?  My eyebrows have continued their departure and I finally lost the last of them this week.  Hair on head grows while I lose the rest of my face.  Now..yes, it was traumatic losing my hair but somehow you didn't look "sick" with eyebrows.  Now I have hair coming in but no eyebrows and I look like I have cancer. *sigh*  This too shall pass but darnit I want to GET past it.  I am, however, totally pleased with no armpit hair and shaving my legs every 3 weeks or so.

I feel fabulous!  I am filling up my time with learning how to crochet, learning Photoshop for my website project, learning how to BUILD a website, and just generally trying to enjoy life.  I want to learn to make chemo caps because the colder months are coming and frankly I was cold this summer with my bald head.  I am going to donate them to my Onc's office in hopes that some ladies can use them at home.  Nothing obnoxious but nice enough to keep heads warm.  My website is www.projectbreastcancer.org .  I haven't gotten anywhere as I'm learning HOW to but the idea came from when I was first diagnosed and how worried I was about my family and how I thought they needed as much support as I did.  So now I'm scrambling to make it a reality with no knowledge whatsoever  .  I'll get there.

I hope everyone is feeling good and keeping their heads up!

Hugs to you all....~Adrienne

Well Rock...I just gotta know where you grew up.  My oldest daughter is at Offutt AFB near Omaha, NE for the next 3 years with her DH.  They are Navy at an AFB and Nebraska of all places.  This morning, she found a cricket in her shoe....only after she had already put her foot in it!  Oh my!  No OFfutt..ok, sad sad sad sence of humor.  But true story none the less.  She now acknowledges she'll have to shake out her shoes before she puts them on. 

Hey girls. I wrote two long posts in the past two days and forgot to press 'submit' after 'preview'. So I sooked till today. Actually, I had a little cry when I saw the map. It made it all so real..being connected to the earth like that. I have a tiny collection of those old-school school maps, and I'm going to use one of the 'world' ones to show where you all are. I see Tasmania has been relocated too. Clever!! (It will make visiting the US easier.. and cheaper!)

I think the worst is ahead for my lashes and brows. The lashes stay in the direction they are brushed (mascared, encouraged, manipulated) I think this is a bad sign. Top ones..50%, bottom ones 25%. Brows...much paler looking, but I can see black dots (new hairs trying to grow). Legs..s-m-o-o-o-o-t-h, Mound of Venus: VERY tidy. Head: baby fluff all over and ONE hair left from the buzz-cut. It's my lucky hair. I'm checking out a new wig this week because we are in spring here and I cannot imagine wearing my current Jackie O-looking thing in our 30 - 40 degree summer. (Not in Tas which gets to about 30, but in Victoria where my family lives).

I'm feeling VERY fine about my last poisoning on Friday. (Have I mentioned it once or twice??) My husband is the marathon runner falling over the line..I have to take special care of him atm..To use his words, it's been a big year. It stated with me going to ICU in Jan with 2 hours to live, and that was BEFORE cancer. So, yeah..he's right.

I just so cannot wait to finneginbeginagin!!! XXXKerry