MOJO Without Matrimony!

Options
1…1718202223

Comments

  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited September 2008

    Pepper....you GO girl! Nothing wrong with fun...goes hand-in-hand with being bad. :D

    Marin, that's another problem....dbf moved into his mom's house to help care for her, well more-so the house and yard work she couldn't do. It was that or have her sell his childhood home and have her go to assisted living. (I beleive he plans to buy the house and stay in it, but sure doesn't want to force her out). 

    Secondly,,,my son is not on his own yet, and the way our place is set up (stupid), to leave his bedroom he has to go up some stairs and go through mine. So....I don't stay at bf's house and when he stays at mine we sleep in sweats.

    So, even though we see each other a few times a week, our privacy consists of times when my son goes to visit his dad overnight, or when he's at work. As you can imagine, mojo is never spontaneous, or even based on our moods most of the time. It's not ideal, and I'm sure it causes some strain on both our parts, but I guess we've just gotten used to it.

    ANYWAY... I hope it can work out. As I had said, his heavy weekend drinking used to be a problem, and I had my foot half out the door anyway. But...I realized in the past few weeks, or more, that he's cut way back, and actually been pretty responsible. I'm going to hang on, and see if this is a phase or a continuing trend. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but it's hard not to. Like I told him not long ago, he'd be the perfect boyfriend if he didn't feel the need to get "incoherent" each weekend. Maybe that statement had an impact on him? *crossing fingers*

    Victoria! The booblets are so exciting. You sound so happy and I'm thrilled for you!  As far as your other comments...WOW...it's like you tore a page out of my book.......... I actually need to think about it and come back. Most of my life has been spent either dating guys sweet guys that I like, but there's no chemistry, or guys that are totally wrong for me but make me want to stay in bed 24/7. Hmmm...then there's the other option for me. I date someone totally appropriate and am attracted to them, but it doesn't last beyond three months because I get bored when the "honeymoon phase" is over.

    I have no clue what to tell you. Maybe someone normal can chime in? LOL  I do know that right now I have a nice mixture of a really good-hearted, honest guy who respects me, mixed with just a TEENY bit of bad because he's an emotional musician. I still get bored sometimes and long for the excitement we had at the beginning. And I still wonder if I'm maybe just not relationship material. But then again...I HATE dating and especially first dates, so go figure. I guess there's a very small window of time when I'm happy. Undecided

    If I end up able to make any sense of it all I'll let you know. Please do the same for me...Maybe you just need to find yourself a "blend" too? lol  Glad you're feeling better.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2008

    OMG, Victoria....I'm in love with you! Does that count? Seriously, girl, as Lori says, you sound very happy with your decisions and they sure do sound like all the right ones! I'm wondering if you've ever read any of Beth's posts (BethNY) about her recon and gorgeous boobs? That chick totally has it going on and, I swear, has made me so excited about reconstruction that I thought about what my decisions would be if/when faced with more surgery myself and i think that I could embrace a bilateral & reconstruction if it becomes warranted. Anyway, it sounds like you already know where you're going and that's so cool! And yeah, Mr. Hitachi is great during dry spells, but there is absolutely NOTHING like a real, hard-bodied man (or woman) to rub skin with.

    Now before I blabber a bit on the issue of being "in love" and good boys vs. bad boys, I would like to suggest to Ms. Lori that she and her Music Man get more creative. Girrrrrrl, when was the last time you dipped into any erotica? Or read Cosmo, for that matter? C'mon now....you all can do it oh-so-hot-like in the bathroom (over the vanity, the hamper, just standing up, in the tub/shower....wherever!)! Turn on the fan, place some loud music, flush the toilet constantly....but screw your brains out! Then of course there's doing it in your car (in a darkened parking lot or off the side of the road) or in a train or airplane or bar or restaurant (even if its just mutual hand jobs under the table). I say do what you can to keep it alive and WILD!!!!

    Okaay, ahem, about love ("She said 'love, Lord above, now you're tryin' to trick me in love"!). I guess that I've found that in committed relationships with traditional men who happen to also be "good boys" the spark is quite low and eventually pretty much dies. And with the wicked boys, its all about the sex, but I end up feeling sh**ty or dissatisfied one way or another, so that's no good either. So recently I've been seeking out men who have it all wrapped up in a nice (hard) package and, after a few near successes that ended up duds, I think I've finally hit pay dirt. First time in my life it'll be, if this is the case. But the key for me, this time, is that I don't spend any time conjecturing or fantasizing about a future or creating a legal bond and settling down with the man. I'm looking to embrace life and have great adventures with him....and he's looking for exactly the same. Now he might look real preppy (oh, he does!) and he's a very industrious lad and makes good money with which he is relatively frugal. He even, I'm embarassed to admit to my left-wing, liberal friends, votes freakin' Republican. He's responsible and a good citizen. Having said that though, as you all know, I wouldn't be caught dead with a guy who couldn't f**k like the devil himself and give head like a porn star Tongue out  ! So there it is.....for me, it's all about carpe diem....and carpe dique (sound it out, chicas) !!! It seems to me (and please all weigh in on this) that girls who are being BAD, BAD, BAD need to do it with boys who are BAD-BUT-GOOD, BAD! Am I right or what, y'all?

    ~Marin

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited September 2008

    OMG Victoria lol...I also forgot to say, I don't have any toys because I was always afraid my kids would hear them OR I'll get into a car crash and someone might go through my stuff and find them...so you hiding it when you live alone, not so weird. LOL (I'm thinking now I may get something and just tell my boyfriend if something happens to me he has to come in and sneak it out). LMAO  I know, that may seem kind of strange too, considering I'm far from prudish, but I'm the "baby sister" in the family.

    Marin...the truth is, I'd do it in the bathroom, garage, laundry room....woods out behind my house, whatever and pretty much whenever with him.  But.....we just got through that dry spell, so we'll see. We hadn't been back together that long before that whole thing started.  And seeing that we were "just friends" for three years before that, and he always wanted to get back together, and I didn't...well it's just made the whole thing a bit odd. Like everything is kind of reversed right now.

    Maybe he's holding back subconciously? I'm wondering if there's some resentment. He did tell me once that after we broke up he thought of nothing for two months beyond what he did wrong, and basically didn't feel alive for longer than that.

    I do have one thought though...sometimes, I think he puts me on a pedestal, (because of things he's said) and that he seems a little TOO respectful. Ya know...like he's afraid to get "too dirty" with me or something. Or maybe we just have different sex drives.  In which case, I guess we're back to some medicinal help. I've tried to talk to him about his fantasies...maybe I should bring that up again now that things are getting back to "normal". 

    Well wow...that all just came pouring out in one stream of thought. lol  Seriously though, he's very sweet to me, he's about to start his dream job, and the partying is slowing down...if that doesn't turn things around I guess nothing will.

    I'm sorry girls...I feel like I'm just dumping all my stuff and sounding really self-centered. I hope you can forgive me. I just have never been in this situation (feeling physically deprived in a relationship) and it feels very strange to me. I also don't feel comfortable talking to the people in my life about it because, even though I know he loves me, I also feel embarrassed and rejected.  I feel like there's really no solution, but yet I keep hoping that if I talk about it, something helpful will come out of it.

    Let me ask you all something...do you think that four years of me being indifferent towards our relationship could be a part of the problem? I did date other people during our three year friendship, and he supposedly did not. That info actually comes from the wife of his best friend. He claims he has no resentments towards me and that he always figured "right people, wrong time". Just basically was waiting for me to come to the same conclusion. But what do you think....could all that be a factor? I can't really compare to the year we dated a few years back because I had two teenagers living at home and my life was so hectic, I really didn't have time for a relationship...so I didn't spend much time with him back then.

    Thanks for letting me bend your ears. It felt really good just to get it all out and kind of let my thoughts flow without editing. I promise I won't whine any more after this.

    And Marin you are SO right! Hit the nail on the head there. We need guys who are good-bad. Carpe dique...lol...lol...LMAO! I can't quit laughing!

    Love you guys....

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2008

    Lori....WHEW! But I absolutely get what you mean and have been in "complicated" relationships like that before....ones where you just don't feel quite in sync and wonder what you can do to make communication flow better. As far as encouraging the release of some of each of your inhibitions, my experience has been that with respecful guys, telling them to discuss their fantasies or "talk dirty" if they'd like to doesn't do the trick at all. BUT when I tell him my own fantasies (and I don't mean imagining being ravished by a Johnny Depp-type pirate!) and use a few naughty euphenisms, it tends to open up the floodgates. Also, by taking the lead in initiating the hanky-panky (in a coquettish way, of course, if that makes you more comfortable), you let him know that you think he's hot and he should feel free to respond. These are just a few ideas anyway (though I really like YOUR idea of doing it in the woods behind your house...that's hot!).

    And I also forgot to addree the hiding of Mr. Hitachi by us single chicas....and I DO THAT TOO! Not the actual vibe (well, it's a "massager", after all, ya know?!), but definitely the Gee Whiz and all of the other sundry toys and DVDs I've accumulated (geez, now that I think about it, I'm collecting quite a few "props" Surprised). I think also about my dying and my prudish, good-girl sisters coming in and finding the dildo, not to mention the blindfold and related objects! Whoa Embarassed !!!! Oh well, I guess I won't care at that point, right? 

    ~Marin  Kiss

      

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited September 2008

    Marin...I just realized that those woods are full of poisin ivy! LOL

    Maybe your sisters would surprise you and steal your dvd collection...it's always those quiet ones. Wink 

    I love your idea though, rather than ask him to open up about his fantasies, I think I'll share mine. Maybe then he won't think of me as such a "good girl". bwahaha  Thanks for your advice hon.

     Have a fabulous weekend everyone! BBBVD (be baaaaaaaaaad, be very bad)!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • victorious
    victorious Member Posts: 88
    edited September 2008

    Hey All,

    Just a quick note this evening to say HI!  I hope to get the last two drains out tomorrow.  They are driving me nuts!  But fortunately the pain has diminished pretty much from the surgery and the expanders.  I go for my first fill next Tuesday. 

    I spent some time looking aroundon Plenty O' Fish and I am going to get up my courage and begin my bio.  Not quite sure what to do about a photograph.  I am not going to dye my hair any more so my old photos will not be honest and right now it is still toooooooooooooo short.  Wig?  Maybe - but it willonly be a few more weeks before my hiar is long enough. It has come back in the most amazing black and white kinda way.   Not just salt and pepper but black and white.  Strangers say "wow your hair is really cool - how did you do it"  It was expensive is my reply.

     XOXO

    Victoria 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2008

    Victoria....If you can think of a way to wear a hat that doesn't scream "CANCER PATIENT," I'd say to try that. Maybe one of those wide-brimmed sailor hats that some people are wearing? Or wear a beret askance and don a cute apron and hold a palette. Yeah, I guess that's pretty weird, huh? Ugh, how about a few extensions strategically placed throughout what you already have? Alternatively, you can just post the old pics if everything but the hair looks like you and then, if you get to really writing with someone (or in your profile?), mention that you've cut your hair and have "streaks" now. Once they actually meet you, the hair won't matter, at least if they're worth anything, it won't.

    ~Marin

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2008

    Update here....I have a miserable cold and though P. usually stays at my place on Wednesdays (in celebration of "hump day," ya know), I'm hiding under my blankets sneezing my head off. We just hung up and I so wanted to tell him to come over, but i need to recover. Sigh. I've pretty much stashed Mr. Hitachi for now because he's been so inadequate (comparatively). P. and I have been exploring every single inch of one another and testing out every way of touching and stroking and I'm learning something amazing about my own responses. Before him, I thought that there was one type of orgasm...a big one that made my head explode and then disappeared, followed sometimes by some smaller ripples. They were definitely fabulous and I had no complaints. However, new sensations abound and I've been having both head & nether-region explosions as well as other "events" that I can only describe as giant waves. They start around my knees/upper shins & calves and flow powerfully up through my whole torso and seem to take particular hold around my neck and shoulders. Oh, and my face feels flushed. Does anyone else gets these types of orgasms? I'm also having what i can only guess are definite G-spot Os, but I haven't had enough to describe how they differ from the others. And finally (warning again, y'all, this isn't for the shy or straight-laced reader!), we've done some very exciting back-door play- as in mainly finger stuff (oh yes, she did say that! Surprised). All I can say is that it adds alot of power to what is already totally explosive and hot! So, to be continued, chicas....Until then, HAPPY MOJO-ING!!!!!

    ~Marin

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited September 2008

    Marin...I've only had one kind of O. BUT,  you're giving me some ideas!  lol I think my bf wants to go "there" but is too chicken....he's hinted.  I have little experience, but they say we have SO many nerve ending on the area surrounding the "back door". I'm a little nervous, but then again, taboo excites me too. It's that rebellious streak. ;-)  I have a favor to ask...I was looking for that link with the free porn (it was like a spin-off of youtube) because I wanted to e-mail dbf something, but I can't find it. Would you mind pm-ing me with that info again? Thank you so much! I hope you're feeling better.

    Victoria, did you get the drains out? Please let us know how it's going online. I salute you for taking the plunge. You have more guts than you give yourself credit for.

    Hopefully everyone else is just too busy being bad to be here lately.

    Honey has a gig out of town again this weekend (which means privacy and a hotel room woohooo) and I celebrate my one year cancer-free anniversary Saturday. Right after my nephew's football game we're heading out. He (bf) also starts his new job on Monday. Trying not to get my hopes up, but wish me luck. I plan on celebrating a LOT! lol

    I was just reminded of something tonight though. One time, an old bf put a blindfold on me and ran a feather all over my body. Do ya'll have any idea how soft and wonderful a feather feels? I'm going to look for one asap. I think I need to take the bull by the horn (no pun intended). bwahaha

    Hugs honey's!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jaybird627
    Jaybird627 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited September 2008

    It's xtube.com.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited September 2008

    Thanks Jay! Guess I'm not the only one who looked. Wink  I like the fact that it's amateur vids. Hence some sleaze isn't making money by exploiting poor confused drugged-up little girls. (At my age anything under 25 is a little girl). lol

    How are you doing lately...mojo or otherwise? Anything new?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jaybird627
    Jaybird627 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited September 2008

    Yep, I check it our fairly regularly as it helps when I'm alone (which is more often than not).

    I did get together with an old friend in NY this past wek which was absolutely wonderful. Not so much the sex part (of course it was good) but I like him a lot and we talked for hours and I stayed at his place which was nice (despite the city noises wafting up 20+ floors) and at my home no one stays overnight because of my daughter so laying next to a man for a few hours, one who doesn't snore, was most excellent. Sex in the city I guess!

    Then the other night my local young man came over. I was too tired (jet lagged) to be of any good but he did take care of me which was very nice. That rarely happens and I did feel a bit guilty about taking and not giving but I got over it.

    So I'd say that when I can relax or when I'm away from home my mojo is just fine. Now I need to work on getting laid when I'm on my work layovers. In the mean time there's always xtube!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jaybird627
    Jaybird627 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited September 2008
    p.s. Congrats on being one-year cancer free, Lori! Smile
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2008

    Hi my MOJO-Mamas! Sorry I wasn't here to answer the porn site question, but I see that Jay stepped in. Xtube is good as is YouPorn, so check out both.

    I hope that your cancerversary was great, Lori, and that you got soundly laid! I hear ya on the blindfold and feather. You should also try some very, very soft paintbrushes like the ones you buy in an art supply store. A silk scarf and a very soft piece of leather (like a thin strap, a leather riding crop or one of those whips with multiple strings) and you've got one session of extreme, hot sensation! You can add some food too (drizzle maple syrup, honey or chocolate or strawberry syrup into his navel or toes or over, ahem, other body parts and then lick it off) and make it a full-blown fest!

    Now, as for the "back-door" business, I will say this....for many women (this one included), large objects are just not fun and, in fact, pretty undesireable. This goes for the obvious "large object." Having said that though, I will absolutely confirm that there are definitely a bunch of very sensitive nerve endings there and stimulating them feels amazing! To that end (pun intended) and for those interested, I recommend a small butt plug or the use of the a finger or two. Anything you use should be very well-lubed, as should the whole area. It is best during a point of high excitement for both partners too. You might find, as I have, that it's a terrific addition to your sex play and very pleasureable. When you are the recipient and he is inside of you (the "regular" way), it feels amazing to him too because he can feel the pressure of his finger or whatever on his "member" and that pressure as well as the forbidden/taboo nature of the act adds immensely to his excitement. And, believe me, it doesn't hurt yours either! Oh, and if you DO decide to try this little trick, also take it really slowly (like only one finger and hardly even in) at first. Also, the way to let it feel really nice is to sort of push out against the pressure of the finger or object (almost like when you are going to the bathroom). OK, enough of Sex 101 for now....

    Jay, you sound like you're doing quite okay in the "gettin' some" department....Two different guys in recent weeks ain't nothin' to sneeze at, my chica!

    ~Marin

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jaybird627
    Jaybird627 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited September 2008

    I'm not into the butt stuff myself, but my NY friend is which surprised me. (it had been years since we'd been together and he's older and wiser now I suppose)  I was rather lame in my 'attempts' due to being jet-lagged and a bit intoxicated (more tired though) so I told him that next time I'd bring along a vibrator and/or my beads! (never used the beads - bought them for a long ago relationship but we never tried them out). I'm more than willing to give in that area but receiving really doesn't do anything for me.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2008

    Hmmmmm....I'm not sure that being into the "butt stuff" indicates age and wisdom (since it seems that its mostly the "kids" who are way into it), but for me it took a conscious decision to lose a huge hang-up that I had about my entire backside. As far as I was concerned, I'd rather just operate as though it just didn't exist. Now I'm pretty glad it does (though it could use alot more toning Wink....ugh).

    I'm pretty curious about the beads, Jay, but they do look kind of scary, don't they?

    ~Marin

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jaybird627
    Jaybird627 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited September 2008

    As for the beads, Marin, they're quite small like the size of a pea? (they're in a box somewhere and I don't recall their exact size...)

    This guy is 34 (almost 35) and years ago when we'd had sex he didn't try that with me (he did this past time) and he didn't ask me to do it to him (but did this time) so I guess he's just changed sexually somewhat (as we all do?) over the years.

    As for it mostly being the kids that are into it, almost every guy I've dated (read had sex with) has indicated a want to do it with me and all of them had tried it at least once before with another woman. Up until a few years ago (pre-BC) I'd mostly dated guys my age or older (I'm now 48) and so far none of the younger (20-something) guys I've dated have mentioned it.

    I'm quite 'vanilla' and while I can and do like 'different' things for the most part I just like to come orally (the only way I can) and then have intercourse, preferrably in the missionary position but if the guy is smallish then it's gotta be doggy style for me to feel anything. Surprised

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2008

    Well nothin' wrong with "vanilla," for sure! It's my favorite....well, maybe French vanilla? OTOH, I DO like lots of variety.....hmmmmmm.....guess I'm not so vanilla after all  Tongue out!

    Rocky Road anyone?

    ~Marin

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited September 2008

    Thanks for the cancerversary wishes Jay and Marin! I had a super fun weekend!

    The mojo was so-so..but it was actually my fault this time.... A friend drove an hour to come hang out with me and celebrate, and we had such a blast dancing and laughing. I ended up offering up the extra bed in our hotel room. I didn't want her driving home in the middle of the night after a few beers. Anyway, we only had time for a morning "quickie" after she left and before check-out.

    Although I'm pretty much game any time, I have to admit, I'm not much of a morning person. I feel a bit numb until I've been awake a bit. Anyone else have this problem?

    On the other subjects... I looove ice cream and I'm happy for ANY flavor.  But I rarely have a craving that only vanilla can satisfy. lol  Not that vanilla can't be enjoyable and even delicous at times, but if I ate vanilla every time, I'd be bored to tears. However Jay...I could never call anyone who has beads "vanilla". Wink That's definitely Rocky Road!  It sounds like you're having quite a hot time!

    I've dated both younger and older men since my divorce, and I'd say the ones who've brought up "butt-play" the most have been the older. I thought maybe they just felt the need to experiment after so many years of the same thing? I may be way off though, and it could be just the guys I've dated..since it's not a huge number I don't want to draw conclusions.

    Like you all, I know I'm not interested in large objects or much penetration. The whole subject used to really freak me out, and I didn't even want to be touched in that area... but I find myself a bit curious. So, I'm sure I'll bring it up this weekend. Dbf has mentioned it a couple of times when he's had a few, so I don't think I'll have to twist his arm. I don't think he's interested in having his tushy touched...which is more than okay with me....I know...double standard. I guess I'll ask, just to be fair.

    Marin, thanks for the sex 101. I used to read cosmo a lot, but you always give me new ideas.

    Hope everyone is having a good week!

    .

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2008

    Lori....Check out some of the discussions on anal sex over on iVillage.... http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlimproveyou and also the question that I posted on the "Taboo" board over there: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rltaboos&msg=8480.1&x=y - check out all of the interesting responses. For me though, the bottom line (yes, pun intended Wink) is that I'm very, very small everywhere, including there, and P. is very, very BIG there, so it totally wouldn't work. In fact, I'm sure it wouldn't work for me with any man at all. I'm not even sure that I want it to because I just love all of the "regular" stuff so much. I have, however, found that anal "play" is both exciting and pleasurable. It just makes me feel naughty and like I'm being sort of outrageous, you know? But to each her own, as I always say!

    In other news, I'm being considered as "Community Leader" on the "Sexual Health" board over there on iVillage. Cooooool, huh? I'm all about healthy sex!  But not to worry, my chicas..you will always be my first love  Kiss Besides, maybe they'll decide I'm not "healthy" enough, huh?

    ~Marin

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited September 2008

    Oh Marin...how cool!! You'll definitely make a good leader. I know so many here look to you for support and advice.

    Thanks for the link. I'll look at it, as I may learn something, but like you, I'm not interested in actual anal sex. That's just not me.....Just allowing somebody to touch me there would be plenty taboo for me. A plug (like you mentioned), or the tip of a pinky is one thing, but I'm not into something that would hurt in the least. Nothing against those who might enjoy it though...everyone has their own "things".

    Have a great weekend everyone!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • victorious
    victorious Member Posts: 88
    edited September 2008

    Mari,

    Congrats on that new 'position'! 

    I just came back from visitng friends in West-By-God and I had a nice time exce]t for freaking over a small lump I found in my cancer side just before I left and what seem to be a staph infection.  I was put on antibiotics just before I left.  So I was pretty tired the whole time - but got to rest a lot.  I liked the town my friends relocated to - but let me tell you - the pickings are really slim down there in the mountains of W. Virginny.  I asked a couple of women artists I met and they said, "you have to bring one with you if you move here!!".  Funny.

     So, I m a tad blue right now.  It all suddenly just seems like tooooooooo  much.  I see the oncolongist tomrorrow and the PS on Thursday and have a colonoscopy on Monday.  I feel like I just need to go somewhere and be totally pampered for about a month.  Sigh,.....

     I'll let you all know what the onc says about the lump.  And hopefully hte antibiotics will do the trick on the infection.

    Big Hugs,

    Victoria

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2008

    Oh Victoria....hang in there, sweetie! Try, if you can, to find a few ways to pamper yourself. Buy a juicy novel, some thick, gooey truffles, and maybe a cozy lounging outfit. Or take yourself out for a makeover at Sephora, a manicure or pedicure (or both), and a yummy steak or seafood dinner (don't forget some lovely wine, of course). Just some things to get you out of the "patient mode."  I know how you feel....just need a freakin' vacation from the steady stress of it all. But soon, hopefully, you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and have much reason to look forward to a wonderful post-BC future!

    Sending positive thoughts and vibes your way, chica....

    ~Marin

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2008

    Victoria,

    I agree, try to find someway to destress. You have a lot on your plate right now and take this one-day-at-a-time.

    We will all be anxious to find out how your appt goes. Please keep us posted.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited September 2008

    Victoria, thinking of you and sending positive vibes today for your appt. with PS. Hope your onc had good news for you yesterday as well. You really do deserve a break. Check in when you're up to it. Hugs!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2008

    Victoria,

    Just checking in to see how you are doing. Let us know what the latest news is.

    How is everyone else doing? I'm doing well and looking forward to some cool weather. Suppose to get a nice shower of rain tomorrow.....

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • victorious
    victorious Member Posts: 88
    edited October 2008

    Pepper, Marin, Miss Lolli and All ......Thanks soooooooooooooo much for sending your thoughts and positive vibes!  The infection is gone!  And the lumps.......this is kinda embarassing.. they are stitches under my skin!  All I know is that I felt these lumps that were like the proverbial l"pea" thing we are terrifired of, and they were near the incision and I was flippin.  The on was great.  He did not make me feel like an asshole at all.  Actually he said that anytime I feel anything that does not seem normal I am to come in.  That goes for ALL of you gal-friends!  Then I told the onc that I was tired a lot and had some pain and he may  switch hormone therapy drugs.  We'll see.

     One thing I have done.  I  made a pact withmyself that I will never pass a place where they make homemade ice cream without stopping for a cone. (and I have not had VANILLA yet!) I have done that 3 times so far!  Yum......

    Has anyone been to a spa???  Of course the econy sucks and I don't have very much cashola - but I turn the big 60 in Dec. and I would just love to go somewhere for a few days and be totally pampered. And I don't want vergetarian!  I want steak and potatoes and red wine for dinner.  Massages and yoga and seaweek wraps or whatever the hell it is they do.  Read me a bedtime story!  Send me a sexy guy!  I have been looking around and they are all so $$$$$$. 

     And let's see - I am contemplating the Mr. Nice Guy.  I may just tell him that I can offer him companionship, conversation, respect, love of a not-sexy nature, assistance if and when he needs it, blah blah .....but I cannot promise him sex.  I don't think I care if he gets it somewhere else - or that I get it somewhere else.  I am having a good time with Mr. Hitachi and his side-kick but really, practically, that is enough!  I've had a lot of sex in my life and those damn hormones that used to drive me are gone.  And so is my need to use sex as a way to "win" a man.  Life  is flying  by and living alone is OK but it is nice for me to have a companion too. Just someone to watch a movie with.  And people seem to be so busy with their own lives.  More so thatn when I was younger.  Maybe that is because at a younger age we all had more energy.  And I'm pretty energetic still! And I have to say, this Mr. Nice Guy I'm talking about is really the first and only man I can say that I totally trust and can count on.  He just does not turn me on.  The other night after a couple of glasses of wine with dinner HE cooked and low lights - he actually looked kinda cute. I dunno.  This is a big issue for me.  OBVIOUSLY!!!!!

     Tomorrow I get my last "fill".  4 weeks from then I'll get the implants.  And then 6 months form that I can get nipple recon.  It has been a pain in the but (er...boob) but I am still glad I am doing it.  Sex or no sex I like looking at them and touching them even at the work in progress stage.

     So, how is everyone?????????????  Marin are you writing for iVillage yet??? 

    Love and Hugs to All

    Victoria

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited October 2008

    Victoria YAY! I'm so happy to hear the good news!!! I've been obsessively checking in and I was getting a bit worried about not hearing from you. Phew! Happy dance! I've actually heard of other's freaking out about bumps that were stitches, so don't worry about it. Better safe than sorry.

    I've never been to a spa. Maybe with the economy the way it is you can scout out a good deal. I'll keep my eyes and ears open.

    Re: Mr. Nice Guy, hopefully you're just not turned on by him in particular, not any guy you can trust and count on. (I guess we already had that discussion, and I empathize lol)  I wonder if he went elsewhere for sex if you would still have his companionship?  I guess if you don't care if he gets his "milk" elsewhere, that's not a good sign. I do have to say one thing though....that's what I thought after years of friendship with my ex ex bf. I was actually hoping he'd find someone else so he'd move on and I'd quit feeling guilty. Then, one night he was playing a charity gig..., some drunk girl jumped up on stage to dance, made a beeline straight towards him, and gave me such a stab of jealousy it almost  took my breath away! Seriously, for half a second I was ready to go snatch her bald (omg we would have matched)! lol It was something that simple that made me realize I felt more than friendship towards him. So, I'm not saying to force anything, but watch for signs. Maybe you're not at all interested, or maybe, deep down, you just think he'll always be around..... I dunno, I'm just glad you're happy with your current situation and not trying to force anything. We all know that never works for very long.

    Hope everyone can check in soon, I've been thinking abourt you all.

    Not much new here. The weather is getting very fall-like. Not looking forward to a Minnesota winter, but since I barely stepped out of the house last winter, I'll deal.

    Dbf is working a lot, a lot less distracted, and drinking a lot less. So just crossing my fingers and taking it week-to-week now. Things have been getting better and better. But I'm not holding my  breath. We'll see........

     Hugs girls!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited October 2008

    I was just wondering....where the heck have Jule, Lisa and nosurrender gone to? I do hope they're so busy being bad they just spaced us for a bit.

    So, on the subjet of mojo, this is what gets mine going, and I thought I'd share (probably won't do as much for any of you). lol  Honey finally got some of their vids posted on youtube, so this is his band. He's on the left....because of the lighting you really can't get a good look, but you can see his loooong gorgeous legs and the way his fingers are just smokin' that bass...I can seriously get lost just watching that particular talent. *sigh*  And yes, he's definitely ambidextrous. Wink

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNCdqSQaBUU

    I think they have many better songs, but the camera was just set, with no operator, so there's problems throughout the show with dancers bloking and funny people mugging the camera. lol I'm getting pretty good at the still shots, but I don't want to film the whole thing...then I can't dance and blab with everyone. lol

    PS..... I almost laughed out loud last weekend. The issue I was going to bring up just came about naturally, before I ever got to say a word. All I can say is wow! It's a very different sensation! Not to get too graphic, but if anyone ever wants to enourage your man to stimulate all three erogoneous zones "down there" at once, it was the longest O I've ever had! There sure are a lot of nerve endings around that "area"!  I was so happy I even added pancakes to the breakfast menu that day. LOL  If anyone has questions, just let me know, since I'm already a bit embarrassed about saying that much. Embarassed I obviously don't MIND giving TMI, but only if it's wanted, ya know?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited October 2008

    Oh..sorry..found a better one...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFsSlGkYRCU

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories