Starting Chemo May 2008
Comments
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Jen, Thanks for putting up those photos...thanks so much for doing it on steroid mode as you made them LARGE. First off, anything I can do to help Karin laugh or any of the rest of you crack up or even get Otter thinking about what to do after rads (I say draw on a tatto of your choice) is fine by me. Secondly, I am not really naked....look closely...but it looks like that, right? Have you all seen those bc fundraising calendars? That was the look I was going for and it worked....NOT. Still, it was fun. I was feeling pretty subdued all day yesterday as last day of chemooooo and it helped perk me up. Thanks for the attention...I am feeling somewhat numb today and you all cheered me. I send many hugs to all who are struggling with issues. Karin, I know what you mean about not saying things aloud as they may come true. May the worries you have soon find a place where they are dissipating. Love you.
I am wearing a softie today for the first time. While not the foob I will be getting soon, it was part of a tee-shirt camisole I got after my mast and I wanted to see how it would go over. Each time I look down, it is lopsided but I am even more lopsided without so maybe I'll give it a try tonight.
Kristy-- I am also 47; bigger tumor -- 2.7; no nodes --took three and have her 2 pos but also estrogen pos like you and pro post not like you...no one said anything about radiation cause I had a mastectomy...did you have a lumpectomy? Is that why some of you fall into that gray area? Inquiring minds want to know. I love sports bras but am tired of the straps hanging around my neck all the time. I want to get back to a real bra then chop off my other timebomb...talk about schizophrenic and yes, I had to use spell check for that. I feel so numb today. Relieved, but numb. Also, lots of tingling in my foot so keeping it on frozen peas. Love you all. Let's leave those BIG photos up for a short while -- until the gang can see then take them off as I don't want Rock's "friends" to go crazy with them. Just kidding. Love you all. Talk to you soon.
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Hi Ladies,
Have been away for awhile, congrats to those who have made it over to the other side, Sable and Eddie and any one else i missed. Great Pics !!
My last Taxotere kinda sucked the wind out of me, good thing it my last as i don't know if i could of done another ! Not painfull just no energy and usual side effects just seemed to hang on forever.
Just got back from my rad simulation and tattoos. Piece of cake , after driving for 4 hours the appt. amounted to about 1hr . We made it an overnight, and had a nice dinner out and even indulged in a few cocktails
I got to check out the place i will be staying, it should be fine it has a small kitchenette , separate bedroom and a pull out couch for when family visits. Close to the hospital and right across from a small mall with everything i should need. So my next little adventure begins next Sunday when i will drive there and rads start on the Mon the 15th. I hope to be home for Thanksgiving (Canadian) mid October. So this next week will be busy with getting me and the family organized.Hope everyone is doing well and you all have a restful weekend !
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My last day of Rads I already know I am going in there with red dots all over. My head tech loves to play with his blue sharpie. Why did they tattoo me if every day he likes to brighten them up with his sharpie? I would have made sure not to wash them off. Anyway I plan on giving him a red sharpie at completion and tell him to connect the dots since he loves to draw on me. Not sure yet what the dot connecting will reveal. Still thinking on that one. That I will not take photos of so I am still thinking of a photo shoot to share with all of you. Come on, throw some ideas out there.
Enjoy the day, Karin
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Jen,
Not sure what your up to with your photo thingy. Do you want my bald avatar also? If so will email.
Enjoy the day, Karin: I did. Was it just me or the Ativin?
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Otter, here is a link or two to a really big selection of Sports type bras with lots of A cup options.
http://www.titlenine.com/jump.jsp?itemType=CATEGORY&itemID=674 -
Hey,
I'm still catching up with all the posts, but dd is coming home from practice and will be HUNGRY!! If I don't post something now, I probably won't.
So thanks for all the support about the decision. I am feeling pretty comfortable with it and Otter, I agree, if my tumor had been any bigger or any nodes involved, I might have felt differently. But I think those little cells will be running from the CC just as well.
And Rock, I like October 2 much, much, much better also!!
Karin - So glad you're sounding better.
Like I said still, catching up...
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Eddie,
The BIG dilemma with my diagnosis is that while the sentinel node was negative they found a positive intramammary node. Not a lot of people have intramammary nodes (I had a mastectomy) and it is VERY rare to have a positive intramammary node and a negative sentinel node- usually they are both positive if the intramammary node is positive. There is no way to know if the intramammary node was draining to the removed sentinel node- it could have been draining to another lymph node and I declined the axillary dissection. My onc wanted the axillary dissection and my breast surgeon did not think I should do it - I got a third opinion and declined the surgery to proceed to chemo without another surgery and another 4-6 weeks of healing. The third opinion was another breast surgeon who specializes in breast cancer risk assessment- and they all agreed my BIGGEST risk was cells that escaped through the lymph system and chemo was the best way to address the primary risk. So basically they consider my node positive even though it was not an axillary node and there is just so little research and so little known with the intrammary nodes- they felt like the combination of that node and the aggressiveness of my tumor- that it was best to do the rads. He even said he feels it is a small subset of mastectomy patients who should consider rads but that he felt my case met the criteria. I know I could find other opinions but I was also thinking I met the criteria based on some recent studies etc and I had prayed for direction and also peace with my decision and I have those at this point. Hopefully it is all overkill- hopefully the surgery was the cure- but it becomes an odds game and I went through chemo on the chance that I had escapee cells so rads is on the chance that something survived in the lymph system - but they felt I would lower my recurrence risk which is very high with her2+ abd that there was a survival benefit with my factors.
I told the rad onc and my onc I feel like its all a crap shoot and Im just trying to make the best shot I can!
Kristy
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Sue -- You with your early redness. Cris, "neuropathy, so soon?" Kristy "here's a rare intrammammary node that's positive" == gosh, but I wish you women weren't so darned "special."
Karin -- thank you for the bra suggestions. I like the idea of a 3 pack a LOT. Also the idea of "connect the dots" or perhaps, "Name that constellation" on the last day of rads. Rads, rads, ideas for rads. I'm thinking something "radical" or something suggesting our "radiant" personalities.
Otter -- Your trials remind me of my bra woes post-surgery. I took a shower and then tried to pull a sports bra on over my damp skin and GOT STUCK.
Jen -- You are a very kind person. I'm glad the woman had you around when she needed comforting.
Noelle and anybody else with some progress on the eyebrow front: Imagine me laying on my stomach with my chin resting on my hands swinging my legs back and forth asking, "Tell me the story about how the eyebrows grow back! Please....." (I have taken to wearing BRIGHT GREEN eyeshadow. I"m not sure why but I just like it. Kind of like a homeopathic approach to looking like a freakazoid -- I'm trying to embrace the look, make it my own!)
Eddie, Sue, Mary, Grace, Noelle. Angels, Adrienne, Everyone: It is obnoxious of me, but once again the posts of the last few days make me feel extremely fortunate to have met such a ridiculously warm, thoughtful, funny, creative, intelligent, insightful, SANE, and supportive group of women. The breast cancer, frankly, seems secondary -- just the thing that happened to bring us together.
I enjoy reading youse guyses posts tonight even though I'm too tired to comment meaningfully. Going to bed happy. Thank you.
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I'm going to go back and read but I need to get my thoughts out first......
We watched StandUp2Cancer tonight. It was hard not to be emotional, for me. What gets me...the kids. The little ones. The innocent ones with cancer.
My son was in his room watching a movie and came out to see the last 10-15 minutes of StandUp... He broke down. He is 8, he is my baby, he is everything. Apparently, I am HIS everything. We cried together, we talked. His summer has been poopoo thanks to my tx. It just broke my heart. It finally came out for him. He cried so hard, while he held on tight to me. It wasn't anything bad he saw on StandUp....it was almost like he could let it go. My little guy...well he is MY everything. I just let him cry..we both cried together. Maybe we lose sight of how it impacts these kids...even our spouses or significant others. Damn this sucks.
So tomorrow, we have this mission of finding a thank you card for my Onc. It is important that my son thank him for doing his part to save my life. Damn...I love my son.
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Eddie - we are all examples of how each situation is so different. I'm one of those gray area's that said no to rad's. Yes, I had to meet with the rad onc, got told I was in the gray area. Had a long, and appreciated explanation of my situation. After 3 weeks of self contemplation...I decided no rads. As the days go by...I am glad I made that decision. I just am. IF I have a recurrance....it is still an option. But I am confident...that won't happen!! It just WON'T. IF it does...at least rads are still an option....they aren't if I've done them already.
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Adrienne -- I don't even know what to say. Powerful stuff. (And what a lucky little guy.)
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no time to go back and read. I am off to the festival after my ds barfed all over the house ( long kinda funny story for later, he is ok now) Have a great day.
Chemoooo.
N
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Adrienne-I started to watch the Stand Up To Cancer--got through the first 10 minutes, then turned the channel-I just couldn't handle it emotionally. Yesterday was one of those days that if someone stubbed their toe, I would cry. Then to top it all off, my 7 year old granddaughter called me later (She lives 3 hours away with my ex-SIL, so I don;t get to see her but a few times a year), anyway, she asked me if I still had cancer, I told her that the doctors were still giving me medicine, but I would be just fine after it was all done. She told me that she had a present for me, a snow globe. She had gotten it from her girl scout leader--told her (the leader) that her Nana had cancer and that I liked snow globes and she wanted one for me. She made the comment that a lot of people have cancer and it made her sad. Then, she told me that I was her angel. I cried like a baby when I got off the phone. I really hate the thought of my grandchildren worrying about me. I think this is one of the hardest parts of this cancer crap--my babies wondering if their Nana is going to be okay. No child should have to deal with this, in any way, shape or form. I'm not just fighting for my life, I am fighting for them, so I can be an active part of their life--for many, many years!
Have a little more energy-going to go to some yard sales with DD. 15 miles of yard sales today!
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Adrienne,
Thanks for sharing. It's something I think about all the time, how my kids and hubby are handling this emotionally? I haven't seen any of them cry for me and I think they learned that from mwa. I always told them they need to be strong and not let others see your emotions. I couldn't be more wrong. It's so good for the soul and healing process. What an amazing son you have.
As for my rads decision, my node had minimal invasion (1mm, thank you God) so its to find any cells that chemo left behind and zap 'em good!
Angels, glad you found a place to call home for your rads.
Gracie, hug those little buggers. Grandma will be just fine. I hope to have grandchildren one day, and I KNOW I"LL BE HERE FOR THEM! Just like you will be.
I'm off to find borage oil and brewers yeast! Hair beware.
Have a great day, all!
How about...Totally Rad?
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Friend is on the way over. I'll be brief. Prob shouldn't respond at all.
I know I sound like a broken record but people? I was one of those little kids whose parent had a bout with breast cancer. (and my dad nearly died when I was 8) [Mom got cancer at 39; her own mother had died a few months before she was diagnosed. Me and my 4 sibs ranged in age from < 1 to 16]. Frankly, I think it is an incredible gift that my parents unknowingly gave me. They showed me by their example that it is possible to weather really hard news with strength, grace, and humor.
I cannot know what it is like to be the mom or gramma with cancer. But I can say with a fair amount of confidence that you women are no doubt giving your kids the same gift that my parents and my gramma (and my 6 aunts and uncles who also developed cancer < 50) gave me -- your warmth, your humor, your strength even during this tough time. Your kids are incredibly lucky.
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Adrienne - We watched StandUp also. I thought it was really well done. What an awesome, awesome connection with your son you have! My 9 y.o. dd watched with me, but she, like her father, tends to keep things in. I bawled at one point when the survivors were talking about their stories. I know this has affected her, but she does not like to talk about it. However, she hugs me frequently for no apparent reason (right). We were also very affected by the children's stories.
Kristy - Don't you hate being the one to make these decisions? I didn't realize until last Thursday really how fluid the field of oncology is. It's much closer to psychology than not!
Gracie - Again, powerful little people. Wow.
Noelle - Hope it goes well today and can't wait to hear the vomit story...lol...
We are going to a birthday party, so I better go shower!! BBL
Mary - Totally Rad? Hmmmm...a good contender!!
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Cristine, I hate making the decisions- at least on rads the docs agreed. When I declined the axillary dissection I had my two docs in complete disagreement and they left it up to me.
Today has been great so I took advantage and made a ton of homemade biscuits- put them in disposable foil pans and into the freexer- one pan for each week of rads so we can still have our homemade biscuits one day a week for going to school breakfast. I also made my little ones lemon squares- the two youngest - boys- LOVE lemon like mom- they were impressed! I told them that was one of my first recipes in my Snoopy cookbook when I was a kid!
My youngest is also 8 and he hugs and kisses on me all the time- he came home one day and said- My friend told me if something hurts more than a week it is cancer- is that true? It completely brooke my heart! I HATE what this has done to them but Im trying to make the best of it like Rock mentions. I heard my 12 year old tell his lttle brother that his biggest fear is having a parent die. My kids have lost 3 of 4 grandparents in the last 18 months and the one still living had a stroke during that time- sometimes I just want to scream that we have had enough for a while.
Kristy
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Biscuits and lemon squares? I'd better not let my daughter read this, or she's going to be heading down to Texas to live with Kristy.
To add to the discussion of how our cancer is affecting our kids . . . my daughter (15) has been so matter-of-fact about the whole thing that it freaks me out a little bit. (Who knows - maybe the fact that I've generally been pretty matter-of-fact about the whole thing is freaking her out a little bit.) We went down to Toledo to visit my parents today, and ended up all of us going across the street to visit their neighbors, who knew me as a kid and have been asking about me. As we were leaving the neighbors' house, the woman told my daughter, "take good care of your mom." Which made me realize that she does take good care of me, mainly by showing her affection in a very unteenage way - holding my hand or putting her arm around me when we walk, leaning against me, hugging me, etc. She's always been a physically affectionate kid, but I think she's become more so since my dx.
Now, if only I could get her to "take good care of me" by washing the damn dishes without a reminder, a.k.a. nagging!
On to the topic of sports bras . . . for me, the problem is my chemo port. Getting the things on and off is only slightly more of a struggle than it was pre-surgery, but I can't keep them from rubbing against - and irritating - my port bump. For a while I was taping gauze over the thing before I ran. Then the freaking tape started irritiating my skin. The only solution has been to go braless (when I run . . . I do OK with regular bras and a poofy, or mastectomy bras and my boob-in-a-box which, by the way, my daughter finds hysterically funny). It's more comfortable than I ever would have thought (I'm a large A, small
and, with a loose shirt, less noticeable than I would have feared (or so I tell myself).I ran in a 5K race this morning, and while it was the slowest 5K I've run in a long, long time, it felt great to be lacing up my racing shoes again. I held the same pace the whole way (my mile splits only varied by 3 seconds - you other runners know how hard that is!), which makes me think I may have learned a little about patience and pacing myself over the last eight months.
(((((all of you)))))
Linda
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Hey women,
Catching up ...catching up. Weepy and rough day for me...of course, the third day after that fabulous steroid high from the last taxol. I feel emotionally numb. I am relieved and I am extremely teary. I went out on my bike alone today and only rode about 6 miles which is more than I've ridden in ages, but I felt so weak. DUH. I just came off my 8th DD chemo. 1-800-stupid. The best part is I ran into the one person I could just be in tears with and I knew she'd be okay with it. What a rough day. On the kid front...Linda, my 15-year-old son is like your daughter though not as affectionate, but very, very matter-of-fact. My little guy is the one I worry most about in terms of how this is impacting him. He takes it all on and comforts me sometimes more than my dh who is under "a lot of pressure" dealing with all of this. Blah, blah, blah. I loved hearing about all of your days today. Love you guys. Best part of my day, btw, was when I was sitting on the bench in front of Puget Sound today with my son's teacher -- the one who was okay with me tearing up and weeping, several very naked people rode by on their bicycles. It was lovely as they were painted up beautifully. The teacher had never seen this group but they do tend to be out and about in Seattle from time to time. It lifted my spirits....you all would have enjoyed how pretty they were all painted. Some women were covered in paint while others just had paint on their breasts and other more private areas. Men had "bracelets" and "footlets..." It was all very festive. Anyway, in a pretty emotionally confusing day, it was a very bright spot. I know part of this is lack of decent sleep for three nights running. Tonight will be better. Sleep well dear women. BTW, thanks for sharing about the nodes and the rads and all of that information. I find it fascinating that we are all learning so much. In the end, we know we've all been "overtreated" and if that means keeping this away until we are all grandparents and/or lovely women full of wisdom, I am there. Keep hugging those little ones and I will too and let's keep watching the teens and for those of you who do not have kids, know that you are very connected to the kidworld as YOU wish to be connected. My older one is downstairs coughing and I am less worried as all I have now is herceptin in two weeks then once every three....got my chemo nurse some scotch the other day. That went over even better than sweets. Night.
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Eddie, I hope you got a good night's sleep and are feeling better today.
I don't know which part of your post made me laugh harder: the naked cyclist part (really naked? all the way naked? as in, no padding for the ass and nether parts? if so, wow!) or the scotch for your chemo nurse. I love it! (The idea, I mean. Not scotch so much.)
Speaking of public nakedness, or near nakedness . . . one of the highlights of Labor Day weekend in Brooklyn was catching part of the West Indian American parade. It's kind of like Carnival in September (I guess it's too cold in NYC to do Carnival right in February): feathers and sequins and just the barest coverage of body parts one is expected/required to cover in public. I liked the fact that the paraders included women of all ages and shapes and sizes. I could almost imagine a contingent of asymmetrical women out there strutting their stuff. Wonder if that's ever been done??
Linda
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I will say a little this morning. My hands are very very sore this week and I am not sure why. I first noticed it after the swim workshop 3 weeks after chemo. Now, 7 weeks after chemo they hurt worse.
Most of what I do for work and play is pretty physical, and my body (no I am not surprised, just don't know what to do about it) is not recovering as fast as I am used to. My tri was a week ago and I was still sore going into the festival yesterday where I worked 12 hours on my feet.I am child free today, but the rain will keep me from much of a workout so I will lie about indoors recovering from the (thankfully) last festival of the season. My hands and hips being in pain makes life the hardest, but still nothing compared to chemo pain.
Eddie- I need to know more about the painted nakedy people( in my house my 9 year old ds often runs around saying "I'm NAKEDY!") Is this a weekly event? A one time thing? A parade of unfettered flesh or just a small group?
Linda! woohoo on the race. You will have to teach me how to keep a steady pace on a run. I suck at that. On the bike I can do that...
Eddie? You did a 6 mile ride this close to chemo? You are awesome!
Hugs to everyone who needs it after emotional days and cancer TV show watching. I spent the festival explaining to friends who I see rarely see why I cannot truly answer the questions " you are ok now?" ".. but they got it all right?" blah blah blah. I got the sad ( but I knew I would have to deal with this sometime soon) exp. of talking to old family friends about their daughter who has BC mets to the brain. She has been on my mind a lot, and frankly I have felt gulity about my cancer being so less serious than hers. She is so young I used to babysit her in highschool. Apparently she is still chipper while being on chemo for 2 years just to keep her alive. Even they were shocked when I told them my docs won't test anything at the end of chemo.
My hands hurt, I am off to the ibuprofen. I will tell the puke story later.
I am thinking about my tatoo ( for the back of my head b4 the hair is totally back in) and a photo shoot too.
chemooooo!
xoN
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interesting info about HFS and using Henna to calm irritation.
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This is what I love about this group, just posting whatever is going in our day/life, as if we were next door or in the grocery aisle. I love that!!
Eddie - Love the nekkid story. Sorry you were weepy, but so glad someone you trust was there for you.
Noelle - Ow. I really hope your hands feel better. I didn't complain about mine last week because the feet hurt more, but they have been bothering me, too. But with no more Taxotere it's getting better. But that was almost more bothersome than the feet because it hurt to do anything. Sending pain-free thoughts to you...
I actually cooked this weekend. More than one meal. And I may do it again tonight. Ha! Last night it was steak, mashed potatoes, steamed corn and salad. This morning I made chocolate chip pancakes for the girls (dh works a double shift on Sundays and leaves by 6:30 AM). They got to help and enjoyed it. We haven't done that for some months now. Wow. Not even weeks, but, yes, months. Tonight I'm making fettucine alfredo (okay, it's from Trader Joe's, but still better than most) with chicken and broccoli.
Oh, I almost forgot about my brush with death (or near decapitation) at the grocery store the other day. I was in the salad section and reached back in the case for something when the very large wooden sign that was perched (apparently not very securely) on top of the case just fell. On me. I was sort of in shock and of course there was not one store employee near by. So I walked over to the deli area and said, "That large sign just fell on me." Forms were filled out (they did at least offer ice) and I was told an insurance adjuster would call me yesterday (it happened Friday). Well, it's a good thing I wasn't more injured, because no one ever called! I was sore that day, but it seems to be okay now. It smacked me right above my right shoulder blade. Owie. Who knew that shopping could be so dangerous?
Now to do dishes (Linda, I hear you on the nagging thing about any chores!) and get ready for church.
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Hey all,
Whew, haven't been here for 2 days, lots of eading to catch up on.
So, Thursday is my last Taxol, CHEMOOOOOO, where are we going, friends? How about a nice cruise to Antarctica? Watch the penguins diving into the water, sipping something warm and alcoholic?????hmmmmmm...
randie
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Randie, wherever you go, don't go to the Gulf of Mexico on Thursday... But, wherever you decide to go, we'll be there with you!
otter
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hmm ibuprofen and sore muscle spray has not touched my sore hands. Hmmm.
Rock, I love the green eye shadow thing. When I had no brows for a few weeks I considered drawing them in back in other colours and shapes. Lightning bolts (yes HP I love you) barbed wire, purple ones to match my outfit (I almost did this for the mag photoshoot, but figured they would not get it)
N
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Randie,
I'm not going so have no official say on the destination, but can offer a suggestion as to the warm and alcoholic portion of your Thursday--coffee with Bailey's Irish Cream......I miss it so much! Never drank it very often but nothing alcoholic has passed these ruby lips since I was diagnosed. All of the anti-pain, anti-anxiety drugs have that caveat--no alcohol with this drug! And I can never help thinking of Karen Anne Quinlan--anybody remember her? She supposedly mixed barbiturates and alcohol in small amounts and won the unlucky lottery, was in a coma for years and years and finally died from it.......so, no alcohol with any drug for me. Not worth it. I am still having issues with bone pain and still taking pain meds for it. It hurts a surprising amount because I guess I didn't expect it to still be bothering me, but when I saw my onc on Thursday she said some women hurt for 2-3 months following Taxotere!!!!
Otter, are you far enough from the Gulf that you'll just get leftovers? (From Ike, I mean)... Batten down the hatches, woman!
Eddie, glad you got to see nekkid people, and glad it made you smile. That steroid crash is the worst, it made me cry all day every time. Especiallly bad is when loved ones say, it's just the drugs, as if you don't still have to feel all that painful emotion. It hurts just as much, even though "it's just the drugs." You are in my prayers for peace and feeling better soon. Hope it helps knowing it's the last time....
Noelle, sorry about your hands. I considered a tattoo for the back of my head too, but with my luck my hair would never grow there again, and there I would be..... 'cause I was thinking of one that said "cancer sucks!"..Hope your hands and feet and energy are better soon. Also, I will be looking forward to the puke story....
Cris, yeay for you on the cooking! My husband cooked a huge pot of gumbo day before yesterday and we have been eating the leftovers about twice a day, delicious! Don't assume you didn't really get hurt by the sign, either--sometimes neck and shoulder injuries don't show up right away! Call them again tomorrow and make sure that adjuster gets in touch with you! Who expects to get injured in the grocery store? Sorry, girl, but bring out the shovel if needed!
Linda, I can see us all, bald and assymetrical, instead of a high school marching band we could have chemo nurses and IV poles and syringes filled with neulasta.....
Anybody heard from rock?
Hope everyone has a great day.
Love,
Sue
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Hello everyone! I'm been away for a while, but it seems like only yesterday. I'm glad to see that most people are doing fairly well. I've read back a few pages, and will catch up on the rest later. I began rads 2 weeks after my last chemo and did fairly well. I had a lovely onesided tan until the boosts and then burned. I finished on Aug. 20 and that seems to have cleared up now and everything seems to be back to normal.
DH's kids came out to surprise him for his 60th birthday. It's a good thing he has a good heart since we also gave him a surprise birthday.
I went back to work on Aug. 25 and so far have made out pretty good. I was concerned about being tired, but it has only been a problem after school let out, so off to bed I go. I am wearing wigs to school, but they come off as soon as the kids leave. The rest of the time I go without anything. Most of my head is covered with a thin layer of hair, long enough to grab and pull. My natural color had been gray, but about half of it is coming in black - or at least very dark. Maybe I can save some money
and not have to color. I saw that someone else had mentioned a tattoo. I have decided to have the dancing breast cancer lady (I"m not sure what it is called, but it's a temp on bcmall.com) along with the words survivor done on my left wrist. After deciding that, my dd told me that a friend of hers had the ribbon with Gram under it on her wrist in memory of her grandmother who had recently died.
There are times that I still seem teary. This weekend has been one of them. I was checking out my dd's my space page and she had the ribbon in sparkles and the saying Someone I love is a Survivor. Everytime I look at her page, I tear up. She hasn't talked much about what was going on, and I had no idea how it had touched her.
All of you were a great help to me when we had to put our dashound to sleep and we have had to have another done this weekend. I guess we weren't paying close enough attention to what was going on with him. He developed diabetes and by the time we saw a problem, his kidneys and heart and begun to fail and he had gone blind. The blindness is what lead up to know that something was up. He had also lost 6 pounds - he only weighed 24. I feel so guilty about not seeing what was happening and although he never gave any indication, I fear that he was suffering.
I realize that this has been about me, and I don't mean for it to be, but I needed to talk to someone about all of this, and all of you have always been here for me. There is no way I can thank you enough. I don't check in as often as I did before, but you are always in my thoughts and in my heart.
Lee
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Linda,
yes...totally absolutely naked except for the paint. Look up critical mass in Seattle...it is this big bicycling group and some of them just go nude. Can't say much for the padding. Still very tired and sore and post-steroidy...thanks for the good wishes. Need them today. It is sunny and nice and I am just post-steroid tired. That's all. Sorry about the sore hands and the bash on the shoulder with the grocery sign (ouch!) and I am so excited for those finishing chemoo....maybe just randie this week finishing but others going along? Love you all. Talk to you soon. Noelle, yes, six miles but couldn't even make it up the hill to my house without walking my bike. Ciao.
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Nakkie people biking...... I think that should fall under the "positions men should not assume while nakkie". brave souls
Cris~ ouch! I'm surprised they did not call you. Hope your shoulder feels better.
Sue~ I haven't had any alcohol in about 8 years myself...this wednesday I am having a celebratory drink for being done with chemo. I'm sure all I will have to do is sniff the drink to pass out.
Eddie~ 6 miles the day after... you are my hero. Here I was feeling good about doing 4 loads of laundry LOL.
Tried to keep moving yesterday but just did not have it in me. I was wiped out and on the verge of tears all day. Thought it best to keep to my bedroom and attempt to watch a movie. Feel a tad better today except for very achy joints and fingernails. Been munching on everything passing by me trying to find something that I can taste. I can get a hint of taste occasionally on some foods but not often. At least I have crunch to fall back on.
Watched the bucket list today with hubs. Good movie, it hit him harder than it did me though.
Will work on the pics sometime this week when I regain most of my fingers... I keep stubbing them.
Peace and humptyness :O)
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