MOJO Without Matrimony!

Options
1…1719212223

Comments

  • jdash
    jdash Member Posts: 754
    edited August 2008

    well chicas i have been keeping up with everyone but havent had much time at all to post 

    things with nick have been good and sex just keeps getting better and better   and the good part is that it gets easier to orgasm as time goes on since all my tx and surgeries ended  i have been buying the sexiest outfits and nick is loving all of them -  with a tan everything looks better  Wink  if you cant sun yourself try a spray tan  they are amazing! i have this beauty supply store on the corner of my office in manhattan and besides beauty supplies they sell stockings and sexy loungerie   I bought a blk fishnet stocking outfit  -he loved that one and last weekend was a white lace stocking with a white lace garter belt and crotchless g string -  now that was a big hit too! and wearing these outfits make me feel real sexy   give it a try! and its fun to figure out the next outfit ;... 

    marin  so happy for you that things have worked out so well with 'P'  he sounds like  the perfect guy for you

    have a great weekend all

    julia 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited August 2008

    Ladies I can finally "join your group".  I actually have my mojo back!! I met a wonderful man about 6 weeks ago through a dating website.  He is everything I have ever wanted in a man...it only took 48 yrs!  Well...Marin...I have always read your posts..and let me tell you...you have inspired me!! I am having some of the best sex of my life with this guy!! It's incredible! I think the combo of feeling good about myself again..reconstruction and all..and him telling me how much he adores me and complimenting me from my hair down to my pedicure..helps too!

    One little thing I am worried about now that things are going so GREAT...I am having a hysterectomy this week...I am so worried about losing my sex drive..and the drugs that I will have to go on afterwards also taking my MOJO away!  Any help you guys can give me...I would soooo appreciate it!  Right now I am on tamoxifin..and I know that will change after the surgery.

    Thanks ladies!  I love this thread!!

    Lisa

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Lisa,

    Having the best SEX ever is way HOT!!! I'm so happy that MOJO is alive and well. I don't have any answers for the sex drive after the hysterectomy but talk to your doctor if you notice any changes right away. They might have some suggestions to keep it alive.

    As for me I'm still very single and LOVING it. I have been asked out on a few dates but have decided that I have way too much going on and want to remain single. I'm so glad that everyne seems to be doing some great Mojo-ing and more importantly having great emotional-mojo-ing!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Hi Lisa,

    I had a hysterectomy in April of 07, I NEVER lost my sex drive from that or the Arimidex/tamoxifen....

    and the rest of you ladies-

    Im still having wonderful mojo with David...he will be coming for an over night visit Tuesday evening and attended a retirement party with me for one of my co-workers on Wensday...This is REALLY bad to say but I havent shown him off to many of my friends of family. He will also be coming of an end of the season bbq that some friends are giving so will meet tons of them then.

    Its kind of strange that I havent had the desire to flaunt him around, but I find myself wanted to be extremely selfish with our time together...I think that will probably smooth out once he gets moved here though.

    Well, work calls so gotta run.

    Jule

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Well, chicas, it is so satisfying to hear of your various exploits and/or places that you're at with regard to mojo-ing. As we all know, the word "mojo" refers to something elemental, a certain spirit, and this can be found and developed in so many ways. So more power and mojo to each & every one of us!

    I had a completely delightful weekend with P. as we stayed with his friend's relatives in Baltimore. We were given a wonderful bedroom on the 3rd floor of this gorgeous old, renovated house and had a tiny balcony with a beautiful view of the city. Since the temp was warm and the AC not working well on the 3rd floor, our nights were hot in both meanings of the word, but I actually liked the warm, sweaty authentic atmosphere (Surprised). The only thing that interrupted the romantic tone of the weekend were several comments from P's friend regarding the Russian chick he'd hooked up with. This friend had traveled with P to Russia and was making an attempt to tease us about the "other woman." It wasn't funny at all and I made it clear that I don't want to hear about that you-know-what again. Seriously. I think that P. hopes I will eventually come around and give my blessing to his carrying a torch for the b****, so I do hope she never decides to visit because he'll see how blessed he feels when I make my final exit. Hopefully, it will never come to that but, in the meantime, I don't want to hear a single, effing word about the chick....NOT ONE.

    Anyway, the weekend was fabulous and the sex even moreso. I miss him already, but plan a sleepover for Wednesday night if we can coordinate it.

    HAPPY MOJO-ING, MY FRIENDS!!!

    ~Marin

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited August 2008

    Hey girls! Sounds like everyone is doing great. So happy to hear that!

     Marin, P's friend just showed a SERIOUS lack of class and manners. UGH What did P think about him bringing the biatch up?

    Well...first of all I'll report that I brought up the lack of mojo thing with dbf AGAIN. He finally convinced me that it wasn't me at all, but just the fact that he's between jobs and having car probs etc...so his body just isn't functioning as it normally would because he's so stressed. We ended up having a nice long convo and came up with a compromise. He'll be having some medicinal help until things are back to "normal" in his life. Pleeeaase pray for a job to come along, I don't know how long I can take it. LOL  The poor guy spends more time trying to get a job than most people do working. :(  Stupid economy.....

    That all said, I desperately need some brutally honest opinions. I'll try to make this short.

    I have been friends with my old bf for 15 years.  We dated off and on for 10 and have been friends ONLY for the last 5. I met my current bf a little over 4 years ago. So...here's the thing...I still hang out with "ex" rarely (we do bday dinners, the state fair each year etc.), and this greatly bothers current. I TOTALLY understand him being a bit insecure about it and jealous, but should I really give up a good friend, someone who's like a brother to me, and always been there for me?

    I am always honest with dbf about it each time, and he always gets very mad, but after complaining for a minute, he tries to act like he's not.  Anyway, my sister said to me the other day that if the situation were reversed I would not put up with it, therefore I'm living a double standard. I personally hope I wouldn't want him to give up old friends (but would not put up with new ones acquired since our relationship started).

    So ladies...what do you honestly think? Am I being selfish? I can take it.....

    (Lori) http://www.myspace.com/mnwilder
    Dx 8/2007, IDC, 1cm, Stage II, Grade 2, 1/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Lori...Has your current guy met your ex-bf? If not, maybe that would help. Also, if you gave him more details about what you guys do together, maybe he'll feel less threatened. I'm not sure I'd actually cut off an old bf/now-friend guy, but I'd feel as you do- conflicted. I would try to be sensitive to current bf's feelings though, because I'd be jealous of a female friend until I met her and reassured myself that she is no threat.

    As for "medicinal help" I just saw an ad on TV for the "new" Cialis ( http://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/news/20080111/fda-oks-once-daily-cialis ), so I say GO FOR IT!!!

    And, as for P's friend's comments, P was very apologetic to me and said he'll be talking to him about future mentions of the biatch. We're going to Florida with him in a few weeks and I'm hoping not to have a repeat of that discussion. For my part, I totally don't want to know she exists...at all. And, as I said, if she ever comes into view, I'm TOTALLY GONE FOR GOOD!

    ~Marin

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Lori,

    I agree, have your current bf meet your old bf, turned friend. My best friend happens to be male and when I first got together with my then hubby, my hubby at first was jealous. I took them both to dinner and a good time was had by all, when each realized that I could love them both in different ways, the jelaousy went away and they in turn became friends.

    Male friendships are important and for the record: women and men can be friends without the sexual tension. Being honest with your bf is important but if he is trying to control who shall be in your life then I think you need to have a serious talk with him and let him know which way your wind blows.

    Sounds like your ex-bf has always been there for you and supported you - do you really want to give that up, that is the question you have to ask yourself.  Sorry, I don't mean to sound rough but the question has to be asked: How much do you value his friendship? And what would it be like without that friendship?

     Pepper

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Lori,

    I have been in that exact situation...it can be a rough one but my choice was to keep the friendship and if the man in my life at that time didnt like it then he had to figure away to deal with it. I know that sounds harsh but being EXPECTED to give up a friendship that has stood beside me thru thick & thick is not my idea of someone loving or supporting me.

    It turned out well in the end even though I was a hard a$$ about it with the man in my life at that time....I ALWAYS, ALWAYS invited him to join ex-bf and I in everything that we did together and over time he finally realized that they were both actually looking for the same thing in regards to me and became friends.

    Good luck-it can be a long haul to get to that peace between the two of them but it CAN be done!!!!!

    Keep us posted on how its going.

    Jule

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • nosurrender
    nosurrender Member Posts: 2,019
    edited August 2008

    So Marin I am posting!

    Marin has been giving me advice- THANK GOD.

    I am having a hard time with men in general. I had one that was too whiny to deal with. He is the one who pointed to my crotch and asked me if  "everything was OK down there" - a normal question huh? He then proceeded to ask me if I "froze my eggs and put them someplace." Where the hell do you begin with that one?

    He also thought I was "extreme" getting a bilat and why on earth did I go that far??? I told him they were trying to kill me.

    Suffice to say, constant whining about his ex-wife and questions like THAT made him history.

    So there was chap #2. We are friends, he knows I had some kind of cancer but is vague on the details. He came over for dinner a couple of weeks ago and when sitting on the couch watching the Jet game he decided to make his move- snuggle- by putting his head on my chest- my recon, hard as a rock, nippless boobage, that is being completely overhauled in September chest.

    I froze. Then got him the hell off my chest and we proceeded to watch the rest of the game like two people sitting on a bench waiting for a bus. I highly doubt I will be seeing him again.

    So my mojo mavens who I read with stunned amazement every day- how do you do it? How do you tell someone, "I will have a hamburger, medium rare, and by the way I don't have nipples?"

    Sign me Charlotte, because Marin is my Samantha and Beth is my Carrie!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Hi G-aka-Charlotte

    Its not an easy thing to do thats for sure!!!!!!

    I didnt know if I could tell David, but we didnt start being sexual for awhile after meeting so I had time to frame things in my mind a little....although I only had a lumpetomy so really have nothing but scars, the rads tattoos, one tanner boob than the other and minor mood swings since my hysterectomy to explain......

    We were driving home from dinner one evening when I decided to tell him, it was hard but it was ok.......I felt that he had the right to know that I'm potentially a walking time bomb even though Im NED for the time being. If you've been reading here then you probably know that we have fallen head over heels in love and are planning a future together and the mojo is absolutely WONDERFUL....but it is still hard for me to talk to him about my bc journey....

    The thing I know for SURE, BEYOND A DOUBT is that "if" the bc shows back up I will NEVER have to walk that path alone again....he will always be right there next to me.

    Hang with us girlfriend.....we'll will help you get that mojo going again Smile

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Glad you got rid of guy #1 - LOSERVILLE ALL THE WAY! What an asshole!

    Guy #2 seems a little presumptuous to be grabbing the "girls" for just being your friend.Curb kickin time for #2.

    I might say something like, I want my hamburger well-done and not talking on my plate, I don't have nipples but I have the best damn boob job that will rival Pam Anderson. You got to have humor when dealing with men.

    But Seriously, It's never easy to tell someone that you are sexually interested in that you have a recon but honesty is the best policy. You don't want to fall for someone and then have them bail out because they can't handle the "no nipple" thing.

    I say tell them when you feel the time is right, be straight forward and see where that takes you. Some men may surprise the hell out of you and not see that as an obstacle to getting to know you better.

    I'm glad that you joined our little group and on your next visit you have to resite our motto:

    BE BAD - BE VERY BAD! 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Hey girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl!!! So glad to see you've come out of lurkdom to join us here! I promise that you'll be mojo-ing before long....someone who looks as hot as YOU can't help but get found!

    I say hide the nippleless-ness until you feel ready to talk about it. Sometimes I find myself worrying like crazy over how I'm going to handle an issue and it never comes up. Like maybe you'll date a few and decide they're not worth it. What if you'd met them, put out your hand and said "Hi, I'm g and I have false boobs and no nipples." What a waste of inside info, ya know?

    A day at a time, girl, and sometimes it's a minute at a time. Take it slow.....but TAKE IT!

    As for my own mojo update, P. will be staying over tonight and I'm psyched, as I always am when I'm seeing him. We're on a mission to discover every possible means of pleasuring one another and ourselves....no holds barred! I'm doing things I never thought of and if I had, would have thought too far out. And it just gets better and better. I DOES pay to be adventurous, my chicas Wink!

    ~Marin

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • shadi
    shadi Member Posts: 1
    edited August 2008

    Hi, nice to read your posting. My website is on Shaadi. Anybody can find his/her perfect soul mate there.very nice

     Thank uuu

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited August 2008

    Nice to "meet" you nosurrender. Marin gives fab advice, so you're in good company.

    Just dropped by to say...the mojo in my life as alive and kickin' again! WOOOHOOO!!! I have the BIGGEST smile on my face today. I'm so relieved!

    My honey got hired by a very good company yesterday, and not only that, when he got home from taking care of his paperwork with them, he had two more letters of interest for other jobs he had applied for. *happy happy happy dance*

    This is thrilling for SO many reasons, but mainly, because last night was like Christmas for me at my house. LOL I was getting soooo crabby and sad. I can't say there was anything exciting enough to share (no food play or making home movies lol), but it was just so nice to have his eyes smiling into mine again...to feel those gorgeous lips during one of his AMAZING kisses. *sigh* So, I guess it was all psychological for him. There was always that niggling idea in the back of my mind that it might be me..or "us".

    Tomorrow night his band has a gig at the place they played last March, the night we got back together, so I'm really looking foward to that. Well...if my Amercian Idols concert (yes I'm a geek) is over by then, and I can get from Minneapolis to Saint Paul in time. But, if I can pull that off.... I'm guessing I'll only miss one set,...I'm thinking another "package" for me. hehe.

    Have a great long weekend everyone!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited August 2008

    Oh my...I was offline for a couple of days, and I almost forgot why I've been wanting to get back to this thread!

    I want to thank all you girls SO much for your opinions on the problem I posted the other day.. Now I don't feel so guilty. I sure don't want to give up my friend, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't being selfish. I want to make it clear that my bf doesn't expect or ask me not to be friends with my ex. I asked him straight out if he would want me to lose a friend just because we were in a relationship, and he couldn't say yes. He basically says he has a hard time thinking of him as my "friend" and not as "someone I used to sleep with". He tries so very hard not to show that it bothers him. But, I've known him long enough to read his moods. And I can see the hurt in his eyes.

    I did think about introducing them, but the thought of that scares the crap outta me....so I guess I have to analyze that one. As much as the ex and I have discussed that "our time" has passed and that we hurt each other too much to be in a relationship again. I'm not sure he (the ex) could handle witnessing me being with someone else. You know how it is...sometimes it's painful to watch a former love even hold hands with someone else, or use a term of endearment they used to use with you...even if you don't want that person back.

    Anyway, thank you all SO much again for your input. I have some friends and family who were making me feel badly about the whole thing, and like I was expecting too much from my bf. I've never been really great at sacrificing much for the men in my life, so I really needed to know what you all thought.

    Hugs!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LisaSDCA
    LisaSDCA Member Posts: 2,230
    edited August 2008

    "...to feel those gorgeous lips during one of his AMAZING kisses."

    uhm, yeah, that's exciting enough to share! So very happy for you. It's been a long dry spell and you deserve plenty of passion now!

    Lisa

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • nosurrender
    nosurrender Member Posts: 2,019
    edited August 2008

    WOW~ You guys sound like you have it going on!

    Thanks  SO SO much Pepper, Jule, Miss Loli and Marin/Samantha!

    Nothing new has happened here-  I have pretty much avoided both number one and number two-

    They both bring new meaning to the phrase, " I thought I found my Knight in shining armor- turns out he was a fool in aluminum foil!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LorenaB
    LorenaB Member Posts: 937
    edited September 2008

    FINALLY!  Two months post-surgery, after hurt and disappointment and being afraid that my dbf (? - is he still? I don't know) would never find me attractive again -- we finally reconnected.  We were both without our kids, we went out for dinner, sat close and watched a movie together at my place, and found our way to the bedroom afterward.  (After I said to him that I wouldn't pressure him about staying the night -- he has major sleep issues.)  It was very very nice -- IMO human contact is infinitely preferable to other types of stimulation, which satisfy a physical need but leave me cold otherwise.  There was definitely a sort of distance between us -- he's still uncomfortable with my "new" body and I didn't take the bra off to show my scars.  On my side, after being so disappointed with him my feelings aren't quite the same.  But still, it was very good, the during and the snuggle time afterward.  He also gave me some earrings that he got me when he was on vacation in DC with his girls last week -- honestly, knowing that he was thinking of me while he was away was almost as nice as the sex!  I'm such a goofball.

    So I'm back on the mojo train, at least for now.  I am much more comfortable with myself and my potential to be attractive to the opposite sex now that I have some hair again (I posted some pics on the HAIR HAIR HAIR thread on the chemo board if anyone is interested).  It's funny, I'm missing a breast now (recon will happen next spring) but that doesn't bother me nearly as much as the baldness did.  It was HORRIBLE being bald.

    I hope you ladies are enjoying your long weekends.  Marin, you are an inspiration!

    Lauren

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2008

    OMG, Lauren, you are ABSOLUTELY STUNNING!!!!! And I'm not even talking about your hair which is amazing! When I was 4 months post-chemo, I had about half of your length and was still holding tight to the wig. Seriously, girl, you definitely have it goin' on! And congrats on hooking up with your guy again. Of course, getting used to the changes take time, but I know it will become so much easier (and hotter!) as you go along.

    My own weekend was beyond fabulous, my friends. I never thought that I could ever feel this way about a man again and, truly, have not felt so crazy about someone since I was 19 years old. Right before the weekend, we actually got into a conversation about the Russian chick and P. told me that he was in the process of trying to communicate with her about his feelings for me and his decision to pursue our relationship. Apparently, she wasn't taking the news well and had given him some sort of ultimatum. The bottom line, my chicas, is that he really, really wants ME...and JUST ME! Damn, I feel lucky and so very, very happy Laughing! Oh yeah, and the sex this weekend was absolutlely mind-blowing!!! I truly had no idea that my body had so many triggers and so many ways to experience such intense sensual pleasure!

     And g.....you gotta get going on number THREE if one & two were disappointments. You know what they say about the third time.....

    ~Marin

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited September 2008

    Thanks Lisa, you're sweet! I really was having a hard time with the *ahem* dry spell. It seemed unbelievably long. I agree with Lauren. I'll take care of things myself if I must, but it's not even close to the "real deal".  How are you feeling since your hysterectomy? Things still moving along well with the new guy? I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

    Lauren, I'm so very happy you've made a step forward with your guy. There are bound to be some uncomfortable moments as you get reaqquainted. If anyone understands impatience it's me...I'm praying for you guys that with time, communication will increase and things will be even better than before.

    g....aluminum foil? LOLOL too funny! Yep, third time's a charm. You're in my thoughts.

    Marin, WOW! Things just keep betting better and better. I'm soooo happy for you. Sounds like P is equally crazy about you! Bye bye russian distractor. lol  Now that's she's on her way out I guess we don't have to call her b**ch any more. ;-)

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2008

    Well, Lori, let's not get carried away with kindness...I don't feel THAT secure quite yet Wink!

    ~Marin

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LorenaB
    LorenaB Member Posts: 937
    edited September 2008

    Aw, thanks, Marin! I think I'll feel more attractive after I get rid of the 10+ lbs I've put on since my dx -- but I certainly look and feel much better than I did a couple of months ago.  As for things with my guy improving with time -- we shall see.  I don't have much optimism in terms of us having a future together at the moment, but as things get back to normal (or as people on these boards say, the "new normal") maybe that will change.  For now, as long as he's not being a jerk, I"m comfortable with the status quo.  It may be weeks or months before we have another night alone together without kids so I'm just going to keep my expectations low and maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised.

    Be happy everyone! :-)

    Lauren

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited September 2008

    Ok Mar....back to the B word then. hehe

    Lauren, you're very realistic, and keeping your expectations low is very intelligent and mature...much better than how I'd be handling it. I try to adhere to the "if it's meant to be" way of thinking...but I struggle with it still. So from this side I'm praying for a happy ending for the two of you. (If that's what you want of course). I'm sure part of that will depend on if you can get past your feelings of disappointment towards him. Egads, relationships can be so complicated, and so much work. I think you're so honest/in touch with yourself that you will end up happy and centered no matter the outcome. And I forgot to mention...the pics of you and your hair are beautiful.

    Hugs my girls!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited September 2008

    Oh shoot..another p.s...do I always have to post twice in a row? LOL

    I forgot to report.......

    The Idols concert in Mpls. Sunday night with my gf's was a blast!

    Afterwards, I got to St.Paul for dbf's gig, and only missed the first of three sets. I have to say they played soooo well!  But...to get back on topic, by the time all the equipment got packed up, took his stuff to their practice space, came home and devoured sandwiches it was 5am! My alarm for work goes off at 9...needless to say, I had to skip the mojo. 8 hours of LOUD music, and just a few drinks to give me a headache made me just really happy to hug my pillow.

    So...no Christmas "package" for me, but we had some nice time together between the show and crashing...so it was a really nice night anyway.

    Thanks for all your good wishes.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2008

    Lori...How often do you get to see your guy? Does he live out of town? I'm just wondering about your opportunities for mojo....

    So where is everyone this week? I wonder what ever happened to Victoria? As you'll recall, she was waiting for her package from babeland or adam & eve with Mr. Hitachi, the lube and the video. Hmmmmmm......didn't I mention being reminded of Charlotte's (SATC) addiction to The Rabbit? Wink

    ~Marin

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2008

    hey ladies,

     I'm still here but have been very busy at work. I did have a great time with a young woman that I went on a date with. She is very HOT and I also went on a date with a nice gentleman, who is also very HOT.

    Not interested in anything long term but having some fun.....

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2008

    Alright then, Pepper! Having fun is certainly a worthwhile pursuit....and the more (and the hotter!) the merrier, right? And remember what they say about "all work and no play".....

    ~Marin

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • victorious
    victorious Member Posts: 88
    edited September 2008

    Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    It is Victoria here with 'booblets'!!!  You have not heard from me beczuse I was getting ready for surgery and then had surgery and then recovered from surgery (well, still recovering).  I went into the hospital last Friday, had the surgery, stayed 1 night in hospital, stayed with parents (oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!) . was rescued by my friend M (for male) who wants to be my bf (and I just do not want to kiss this fella and I wish to hell I did!!). So, M brought me back to where I currently call 'home' and stayed here and cooked for me and all,  took care of me and all of that wonderful stuff.  I hurt like hell, but now it is getting better - and he is not here any longer.  Left this AM.  I am now here with my dog (a female!).  Last night I looked at Mr. Hatachi and thought 'oh baby - oh baby - but then thought - my chest, my chest!  Tonight might be a different story. Mr. Hatachi is quite something!  And the attachment.  Well, it just makes me laugh actually.  Here is a little funny aside.  I live by myself, and I went around and found places to hide Mr. Hitachi and his blue-veined attachment so no one would stumble on them.  Now is that tooooooooo bizarre or what! 

     AS to the recon - so far I AM SO GLAD I DID IT!!!!!! Even with all the pain and the throwing up after the anesteshia and emptying the drains and,. and, and.  All I know is that I was in that hospital bed and I looked down .... and smiled.  It was like loking at "me" again, even thought I know these girls are not the real original models.  I was left with big scars after my bilateral mast.  Very uneven because of the tumor.,  A big dent in one side because they had to take muscle tissue to get clear margins.  My surgeonb left as much skin as he could on one side in case I wanted to have a recon and the other had a dent.  So, it was just very, very weird and pretty darn ugly to me.  I did not think I looked that bad in clothing. And I actually could focus on all the other parts of me that don't look so bad, but I did not like what cancer had done to me one bit.  So, this time, I said f--- y--- to cancer and reclaimed a pet of my body that was not perfect but certainly lovely - as all breasts are.  I am going to have nipple reconstruction and the whole deal.  And it is totally for me.  I get my first expansion fill on Sept. 16. (altho my pc did put in 100 cc's of saline in each side at the time of the surgery and that is what has puffed everything out and up).  I do not want or need to be big. I think about another 100 cc's in each side will do it. 

     I have decided to go on a kind of sabatical after the first of the year.  For about two montsh.  Just travel to see old friends that happen to live in warmer places.  And see where I end up.  And with who.  Just be totally open.  I can do that because my work is seasonal.  But let me tell you I pay for the opportruntiy.  And that is definately something I want to change.  I just heard about a woman who has written a book and teaches a worksiop entitled "Overcoming Underearning".  I am going to get the book and may go to her workshop. 

     Now, here is my current thinking and deliemma about mojo and attraction. It seems to me that the people I have found the most provocative have been very, very unavailable in some way shape or form.  And the nice guys (like my friend M) just do not even smell good to me.  You all know what I mean?????  I do not want to get involved with another Type A - Mr. Self-Absorbed Star.  But I don't seem to find the Type B Mr. Nice Guy all that appealing.  I feel as if I am between a rock and a hard place and do not know what to trust in terms of my own instincts.  When I listen to "women in love" speak about their relationshiops, it seems to me so often that in order for the chemistry to exist there has to be some kind of tension between he and she.  Am I correct in this idea?????  Any thoughts and/or wise words?  I am not old at 59 but certainly can look at other women I know and realize that time is ticking fast.  I do not need to be partnered to be "happy" but it would definately be an enhancement.  Mr. Hatachi is kinda difficult to snuggle with, if ya know what I mean.  Doesn't have much to say either.

    Love to All,

    Victoria

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • victorious
    victorious Member Posts: 88
    edited September 2008

    Lisa,

    What dating website turned up this wonderful surprise?????????  I hope it is still going full steam ahead!

    Victoria

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories