MOJO Without Matrimony!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Nope Marin, no one has lost interest in sex!!!!!! or hearing how things are going for you and P...

    For me-David and I are doing wonderfully....

    I know Pepper is in Los Vegas....I cant remember whats up with everyone but I know they are around....

    Ive just been swamp busy with work and then on the weekends driving to Davids....I will be SOOOOOOO happy when he gets moved here!!!!!!

    Happy Mojo-ing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Jule

  • jdash
    jdash Member Posts: 754
    edited August 2008

    marin  i loveeeeeee your new picture-  and the blonde hair!

    i have to put a recent picture of me up if i ever get one :)  i have a pretty long ponytail already

    2 years .............    and dont stop posting   we love living thru you  xoxox

    julia

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Awwww....thanks on the pic, but I'm aiming for a better one yet. This one is just a crop of me, mid-sentence, at a dinner party last week. I'd love to see an updated one of you, Julia, especially with a ponytail! I think that mine is long enough now for a French braid and plan to try one soon. Isn't hair just amazing and so much fun?!

    So I've been posting about a few recent escapades (eg., giving P.a BJ in the water while he laid on a float) over on our "mother MOJO board" under Moving Beyond... It's a little more active over there, ya know? But I want to keep up the activity here too...have y'all noticed that this thread has been deemed a "sticky"? Tami PM'd me to let me know, so obviously we're doing something right, huh?!

    ~Marin

  • jdash
    jdash Member Posts: 754
    edited August 2008

    i am stumped! whats a sticky???

  • AnnNYC
    AnnNYC Member Posts: 4,484
    edited August 2008

    jdash -- I think a sticky is a thread that stays "pinned" to the top of the forum list, regardless of when the last new post was.

    At least, in cyber-bulletin board terms...

    In other contexts, let's see, a "sticky" conjures up all kinds of mojo-related possibilities... Innocent

  • Jaybird627
    Jaybird627 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited August 2008
    I love reading about everyone else's sex life because I just don't have one. Cry
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    A sticky means we rate!!! And yes, it stays at the top.

    ~Marin

  • irishdreama
    irishdreama Member Posts: 938
    edited August 2008
    I'm with you Jaybird Frown
  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited August 2008

    Marin...I just love love LOVE your updates, enthusiasm and knowledge. Please, don't ever stop posting. Also, I think your pic is gorgeous!

    I've been away from the boards just because I've been crazy busy!  Sadly, I don't have much in the way of mojo stories. The pathetic thing is, I have a boyfriend and still don't have any good stories. I know he loves me, but I don't know what to do when our sex drives are miles apart...it just may not work out. Which really bums me out, but I suppose if we work out our other teeny probs we can do something about it. We have a ton of fun together and laugh a lot...in all other areas.

    Pepper, I hope you're having a blast in Vegas and that your lymphedema is not acting up. I was so sorry to hear you're having to deal with that.

    Has anyone heard from Rose?

    Hugs to everyone else!

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Hello ladies,

    Vegas was great!!! We did some gambling, shopping, eating and went to see Phantom of the Opera. We had a blast. My friend who has NEVER gambled just keep winning money at the Double Dollar slot machines. I think I may have created a "gambling monster".

    My SLE is better and I have to take a Lupus test today, being Hispanic, I'm in a high risk category for the desease. I'm sure that it will come back negative just like the last one 2 years ago.

    Nice to see everyone is doing well and that our thread has been "sticked"

    But now it is back to the real world and work again. Well gotta go catch some bad guys now...

    Have a great day ladies and I will check back in soon.....

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Hey Pepper, its great to see you back! I'm glad that you had such fun in Vegas and I hope you feel relaxed and energized from it!

    I don't get your reference to SLE along with a mention of possible lupus....I thought that SLE was lupus..? Undecided Either way, I hope that you don't have it because, as you know, it can sure put a damper on things.

    Things are rolling along with P., y'all, and I'm wondering when in this relationship I'll start thinking about something other than sex..? NEVER, I HOPE!!!!! Tongue out  

    ~Marin

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Hi Marin,

    SLE is Secondary Lyhpodema and Lupus is totally different but sometimes they call it by the same initials - not sure why. I am showing all the signs of Lupus right now and so they want to take some more blood to see if I have it.  I hope it comes back negative!!!

    Sounds like you and P are getting along really well. So let us in on what kind of man he is: work, hobbies, etc. inquiring minds want to know.

  • victorious
    victorious Member Posts: 88
    edited August 2008

    Howdy to All.

     First of all, I want to address this to Marin.  Ms. Marin, you are doinbg such an amzaing service to all of us here on this board.  Thank you for the time and energy you put into helping us all be healthy, happy and whole beings.

     So - now - I just called Babeland! and ordered my a Hitachi Magic Wand and Gee Whiz, some Babeland Lube and a DVD called Instaiable!!  I could not believe I was doing it!@!  But that little brown package is on its way.  Hopefully by the time it arrives my ribs won't hurt to much to play.

     I have another question for anyone.  Does anyone know of good resources for career change ideas?  I am 59 (60 in December) and have worked toooooooooooooooo hard all my life for too little money.  I want to work not so hard and make a lot of money!  Or at least a reasonable amopunt of money.  Then I will have time to play and do and teach yoga.  And maybe even do things I never thought possible for me because I work too darn much.  I work in horticulture and it is one of the worst paid professions in the USA and probably world!! And you work farmers hours and it ne er freakin' ends!  It is not nearly so wonderful and glamorous as people think.  I hear all the time "gee, what a wonderful porfession to work in.  Nature and everything surrounding you".  Yes, well - on a very rare day.  When it is not too hot or not too cold or not to wet.   I do not have anay kind of degree but am more than capable.  So, I thought the other day when I was stung 2 times by bees and got poison ivy and then dehydrated because it was 100 (I did drink a lot of h2O)  that it is time to:  DO EVERYTHINfG DIFFERENT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Then I thought, so I wonder what kind of thing I could go learn in about - hmmmmm - maybe a weekend! and then be paid lots per hour or charge plenty per hour or something.  Then I thought, well gee, who better to query than my single BC pals. I know that some of you must be feeling sort of the same ..... and  what the hell.  I have nothing to lose by putting the question out there.

     Perhaps I should or will start another topic.  First, I'll see what I hear back from this and then decide if that is the best thing for all concerned.

     Hugs - we all nedd 'em!

    Victoria

  • WildRose
    WildRose Member Posts: 244
    edited August 2008

    Oh, so much to catch up on! I made the move to my new home 2200 miles east and south of my old one, and now only 400 miles from the dbf instead of 2000. He's still a little flakey but I went up to see him on Sunday (came home monday morning) and it was reasonably OK. He really didn't think I'd drive all that way after driving 36 hours to get here the week before, so I surprised him. It took us about an hour (and a couple of beers) to finally get comfortable with each other; his discomfort made it hard for me, after driving six hours. Well, it wasn't a "hot time." I was a little disappointed. I really thought he'd be much happier to see me than he seemed to be.He didn't even hug me when I first got there--I had to initiate the first hug, but he did initiate the first kiss, so I guess we're even there!

    But he was OK with the missing boob and the Sinead O'Conner haircut. Well, I've been advised to drop him, and heaven knows we've broken up more than once. I don't know where this will go but beginning Friday I'm going to be up to my eyeballs in meetings and orientation, then the start of the semester. I told him that now it was his turn to come and visit me, so the ball is in his court. We'll see if he'll get over whatever that was that kept him distant, or if we're just going to be friends. 

  • WildRose
    WildRose Member Posts: 244
    edited August 2008

    Victoria -- my sister, at 43, has decided to take up accounting. She's sick of blue-collar work on the assembly line for peanuts.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    OMG, y'all, I'm so happy to see everyone back here! I thought you were all MIA and I've been haunting our other MOJO board. But I really do think that we might be a bit more adventurous over here and certainly have a few unique issues to mull over.

     So Rose, what a freakin' courageous chica YOU ARE.....schlepping all the way across the dang country and just settlin' right on in! Not to mention skipping off to visit the boy toy on the weekend. Sweeeet! So, no matter what goes down with him (and especially if HE doesn't Surprised Wink), you are in new territory and, therefore, in an entirely new sea of fish. Ooooohhhhhh.....happy fishing, my girl! In the meantime, it's nose to the grindstone a bit to get the semester started...probably just as well as it will get you more balanced and anchored.

    Now, Victoria.....O-M-G, GIRRRRL! You are steppin' out and really taking a deliberate step towards self-care! You will absolutely LOVE Mr. Big and his Gee Whiz, not to mention the lube and the vid. Do let us know how Insatiable plays....I'm always looking for good porn! We just bought a DVD (at Cherry Pie, a nearby sex store) called Black Orchid. It looks hot, but will have to wait a few weeks since we're traveling this weekend and next (more on that later). Anyway, the way I see it, getting yourself these essential toys serves a number of purposes, but two primary ones come to mind. The vibrator and attachment: 1.) keeps your juices flowing and your tissues and plumbing, in general, in great working order. That's both healthy and keeps you sexually fit in the event that a new partner should enter your life. Which leads me to 2.) You are less likely to fall for any ole guy or settle for a loser just because he has the goods. Instead, YOU'LL have the goods back home in your night table drawer! So you can be selective and know that you can have sex anytime, but it takes a real, flesh 'n blood man to give you the whole enchilada....with sauce! Wink (That sounded too good NOT to write, but what I really mean is that it takes a real man to love you Kiss).

    So....what is P. like? Facts-wise, he's in some sort of management in the telecommunications field, having his BS in engineering  (um, I can't remember what specialty Undecided). He'd much rather be a traveler and a teacher and a lover and a friend, though. He loves fly fishing and cycling and does both with great enthusiasm. He is dedicated to staying fit and works out at the gym several times a week, doing cardio and lifting weights. He is a voracious, eclectic reader, a connoisseur of good, honest food, a sailor and a water skier, and a cat lover. He's a man of honor and virtue and tries to listen, understand and respect others and their perspectives. He's compassionate and nurturing. And, as you all have probably determined by now, he's phenomenally passionate and an amazing lover, attentive to every last detail and free & open to experimentation and adventure. So, y'all, I guess you could say that I totally dig him, huh? The wonderful thing, though, is that he totally digs ME too! Sigh..............

    Now that we've heard from Pepper, Victoria and Rose, where the hell is Lauren (Lorena)??!

    So P. and I are going to Asheville this weekend so that i can train in Zumba and get certified. The rest of the time, we get to play though and Asheville is a great town to explore. Also, of course, there's that king size bed in the hotel which will not go to waste! Then, next weekend, we've been invited to be guests in a house in Baltimore that was recently featured in This Old House magazine. It looks gorgeous...and th company promises to be fabulous as well!

    Wishing everyone a fantastic weekend.....and HAPPY MOJO-ING, however ya get it!

    ~Marin

  • LorenaB
    LorenaB Member Posts: 937
    edited August 2008

    Hey Marin and everyone, I am here, but with nothing to report on the mojo front.  The last time I had intimate contact (with a human that is Wink) was the night before my surgery in June.  The boyfriend and I are sort of taking a break.  I finally tracked him down a couple of weeks ago (he had been avoiding me by not answering the phone when I called, wasn't that mature of him?!?!) and I went over to his place after his kids were asleep.  I told him point blank that I didn't want our relationship to be over, but if that was what he wanted, he needed to tell me that and stop avoiding me.  He was finally honest with me -- he can't give me what I need right now.  He said that he felt bad about this considering what I've been going through, but he just can't be available now.  He wasn't rude or cold, he held my hand and kissed me, but he was very clear.  He is very wrapped up in family and work stuff this summer and really does not have any time at all.  SO I've taken a step back to give him his time and his space.  We talk occasionally and will probably see each other next week (he is travelling for work this week and with his girls over the weekend).  I haven't given up all hope for the future but I'm not feeling very optimistic.  I don't know whether he doesn't love me enough to be there for me, or if he just can't handle emotional intimacy and strong feelings and being needed -- and I may never know. 

    I am doing much better than I was when I didn't know what was going on.  I'm sad and disappointed but I'm not walking around with that crushed feeling in the pit of my stomach like I was all week when he was MIA.  But I miss him -- we talked almost every day for over a year, and he was like my anchor.  And physically, well, we do have amazing chemistry, and I miss his touch and his smell something awful.  And his kisses.... I hope that part of our relationship isn't over, even if there isn't much chance for a future together, we could still enjoy the physical and emotional connection.  I think he is still very freaked out by my mastectomy.  Of course I would be sensitive to this -- but I also want to show off my perfect cute C cup on the reduced side.  It's my silver lining in all this mess and I wantto share it with someone!

    Marin, you look great -- how long did it take you to grow all that lovely hair?  I'm so glad that things with P are wonderful.  I've never been to Asheville but I've always wanted to go -- that was one of the vacations that my exH and I always planned but never got around to.  

    WR, I'm glad you got to meet your guy in person -- now you have a concrete reality to think about and can make decisions from there.  I'm happy you're getting settled in a new home with a great job.  I have a good friend who is in academia and I know how complicated and stressful it can be.

    Victoria, what you are looking for sounds like what my exH always wanted ME to do -- get trained quick and make more $.  My point of view is that you should do something that you care about that makes you happy -- otherwise you'll be spending all your work time wishing you were somewhere else.  I have more to say on this topic but I have to go right now  -- gotta get my kid to camp, then to PT, then radiation, then work!  Catch you later!

    Lauren

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Morning ladies,

    Sounds like everyone has had a busy few weeks. Marin, my dear have a great time with P and let the MOJO-ING begin.

    Lauren, I'm sorry that your man is not emotionally available to you at the moment. You need to concentrate on getting better and healing your body. Maybe he will come around later but as Marin said, there are plenty of fish waiting to be caught by you.

    Rose - I would say you got ball but I'll say you have a VAGINA! Getting up and moving all the way across the country - my hats off to you - go get 'em at school.

    As for me, still no MOJO-ING and I'm perfectly happy with that. I just don't have the time in my life right now to spent on a relationship maybe later on down the line - who knows? Gotta get me a self-pleasure device on day.....

    HAPPY MOJO-ING TO YOU ALL! 

  • WildRose
    WildRose Member Posts: 244
    edited August 2008

    Thanks for the compliments...my Dad said on the phone the other day that I was so much like him that he could predict my actions. Thus he warned me not to try to drive to make up the day I missed by starting out on Friday instead of Thursday. My Dad is the kind of person that you just can't keep down, a bit of a Type-A overachiever. So if I'm brave, tough and amazing, it's all his fault! Wink

    Mojo with SO was gooood and I could use some more! Cool

    Marin seems to be having the best Mojo. You go, girl!

    Lauren, I'm with Pepper on this one. It may be that he's really busy or whatever, or it may be that he can't handle your treatment and surgery -- some people are funny like that. Not that he's mean or he's choosing to feel this way - maybe he just can't handle it emotionally. Of all the times my guy and I have fought and made up, he's still always been there and, in his own words, has always had my back. He has always been a "real" man in that way.

  • LorenaB
    LorenaB Member Posts: 937
    edited August 2008

    WR, why does it work that way?  You'd think that getting some mojo would leave us satisfied -- in my case it just leaves me wanting MORE! Wink

    So I talked to d(?)bf last night and he's going to come over on Wednesday.  And he sent me an email for the first time in weeks.  Don't worry, I haven't changed my expectations re: a future with him, but at least I've got some kisses and catching up to look forward to (mojo is a hope but probably not a reality at this point).

    I was at a bbq for a coworker who is leaving for grad school yesterday, and I chatted with a 20-something guy from work and learned that he recently broke up with his gf.  He is CUTE - red-haired and tall and really nice too.  Not that there is any possibility there, I'm about 15 years his senior (not to mention that I'm still in rads, missing a boob and just regrowing my hair from chemo), but it is nice that at least I'm noticing and thinking that way again..... I decided I should try to fix him up with my cousin.

    How's everyone else doing?

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    MOJO CHICAS!!! I'm sorry to have been MIA but I had yet another amazing weekend with this amazing man and have had no time to check in here. It sounds like everyone is busy and pursuing their mojo in a variety of ways. I sometimes think that its just too bad that our fears and inhibitions (and our men's) get in the way of enjoying mojo for its own sake, but I guess being human does mean accepting the entire specrum of feelings and experiences. Fortunately, though, there are not only lows but also many HIGHS and thinking about the good times to be had can often gets us through the slumps.So, I say, if you're in a slump or things are up in the air for you, grab a bite of fantasy (toys, dress-up, erotica) and groove on Wink!

    If I had to choose one word to describe my weekend in Asheville with P it would be CALIENTE! Oh yes, my girls, the man is becoming true master in the ways of the flesh and he has no hesitancy admitting that that is his intent. He does things to me that gives me the most powerful, deeply exquisite sensations and does them over & over, each time a little different and a little more thrilling....and then claims that HE is the one being pleasured! Give me a break, man! So, just in case, I'm on my own mission to discover all of the many ways there are to pleasure a man and, believe me, there are indeed so very many! Just the art of fellatio has taken on fascination for me and I'm practicing with energy and much creative thought. Yes, mi chicas queridas, I am very much enjoying this sweet, sweet man!

    I will also report that we have been visiting some sex shops and making a few purchases here & there. Plans are also in the making to co-author an erotic story or more...just for our own private enjoyment. And finally, as I mentioned, we're planning to film our own porn vid as well. How much fun will that be?  Surprised Wink Kiss

    I'm hoping for some reports from you, Lauren, and perhaps one soon from Rose (I know, start of semester...sigh....). And speaking of reports, where the F is Jule???! And you think that I'M having good mojo!!!

    ~Marin

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Jule just got back from 5-day (yes ladies 5-days) MOJO-INGCool....here is a little meal list that David and I enjoyed in those days...

    Breakfast-mojo

    mid-morn snack-mojo

    Lunch-mojo

    mid-afternoon snack-mojo

    Dinner-mojo

    and the after dinner deserts were never ending mojo Surprised!!!!!

    Need I go further???? Innocent

  • Yogi70
    Yogi70 Member Posts: 654
    edited August 2008

    HEEEEEEYYYYYYY!!!   You go Jule!!!

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    WELL GIDDY-UP JULES!!!!!  

    LIVING UP TO OUR MOTTO:....... BE BAD, BE VERY BAD!!!!!

    Your variety of MOJO-ING sounds delicious! 

  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited August 2008

    Holy buckets girls! You're putting the F in mojo! LOL  Good for you and wow your own porn? I'm jealous! Then again, if I saw myself like that I might stay permanantly dressed. hehe

    Just wanted to report in that I did have a talk with dbf. (Hopefully, I didn't post this already, my memory is shot as I've been so crazy-busy). Anyway, he told me that because he's between jobs he has ZERO sex drive right now. He said he feels totally emasculated and that men's egos are wrapped up in their job and ability to be the breadwinner. Well....I've never relied on anyone financially, but I guess I can see it. I went through that when I didn't have hair.

    Anyway, I sure don't want to kick the guy when he's down, so I'm going to give it some time. I still think if he drank less that would take care of the problem, but again, I've told him I'm not happy with it, and it's up to him whether he wants to change. I refuse to give someone ultimatums and have them resent me. He did tell me last weekend (and has told me before) that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me...so I do feel obligated to tell him that with the way things are now, I would not be willing. That there are some things I am unhappy with, and can pretty much guarantee that, even though I love him, I'm not willing to deal with these things forever.

    Egads..I hope I'm doing the right thing. I swore I'd at least stick it out until fall, and I do love him.

    Thanks for listening girls. Try to check in between mojos. lol

    Hugs!

  • victorious
    victorious Member Posts: 88
    edited August 2008

    Whoa Baby! Jules! 

     Marin - this P fella sounds like it may turn out to be the real deal love deal for you.  He sounds GREAT!  I like your photo too.  I'll get one up in due time.

    Sorry to have been silent but I took a few days awy to think.  I went to meet friends in the Hudson Valley.  We camped and had a great time. 

     My hatichi has not arrived yet but I'll let you all know how "things" go!  In the meantime, I had my first orgasm since my diagnosis (January) last week.  I was my own lover, but Hey!  I was THRILLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that I, me and my were successful.  I have tried before but it just did not happen.  So this was  BIG deal.  I am so relieved to know that I can have an orgasm with out having nipples to help me get there.  Whew!

    I go for my reconstruction on Aug. 29.  Of course I am nervous.

    Everyone be well and be BAD!

    Victoria

  • kater
    kater Member Posts: 526
    edited August 2008

    i looked up estring,

    Do not use Estring if there is any chance that you have breast cancer or any other cancer stimulated by estrogen. You will also have to avoid Estring if it causes an allergic reaction.

    http://www.drugs.com/pdr/estring.html

  • kater
    kater Member Posts: 526
    edited August 2008

    *67 when you call from cell phone blocks your caller id

    call yourself and try it....

    a month ago someone mentioned that...

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Awwww, Victoria...CONGRATULATIONS on achieving the Big O all on your own! Just wait until Mr. Hitachi enters your world and you'll be having multiple Os, whenever you want, no problem! Laughing

    Kater, girl, where have YOU been?

    ~Marin

  • victorious
    victorious Member Posts: 88
    edited August 2008

    Kater,

    I have called my oncologist about the Estring and am awating a call-back, but in the meantime I found this from Dr. Susan Love.  I had extreme dryness and a lot of pain even with just putting my little finger into my va-jay-jay.  And the Estring has helped so I hope the Onc sticks with his opinion.

    Victoria

    Is the Estring safe? Could the estrogen get into my breast and increase my risk of a breast cancer recurrence? Are there other options I should try?

    Anything placed in the body that can be absorbed can affect the whole body, whether it is the Estring, Vagifem, or estrogen creams. The question is, how much absorption and might it be a potential problem?

    All of the research on the various vaginal remedies used to decrease vaginal dryness has been done on women who have not had breast cancer. These studies found that the estrogen creams appear to have a higher absorption than the Estring or Vagifem do. That's because both the Estring and Vagifem are very low-dose estrogen products. The amount of estrogen that is in the Estring and that would be absorbed into your body over 90 days is equivalent to the amount of estrogen you would get if you took a regular dose of estrogen for two days.

    We currently have no data on the use of these products in women who have had breast cancer. But because of the very low systemic absorption and because vaginal dryness and painful intercourse can be a real quality-of-life issue, oncologists have become more comfortable having women who have had breast cancer use either Vagifem or the Estring to relieve vaginal dryness.

    Vagifem is a tablet that sticks to the vaginal wall and delivers about the same amount of estrogen that an Estring does. After a week of daily use, it is used twice a week. The Estring is a ring inserted into the vagina that delivers interval small doses of estrogen. It can stay intact for up to three months.

    Some women also try one of the over-the-counter vaginal lubricants, such as Replens or Astroglide. Vitamin E oil is another option and may work for some women. But for most women with extreme vaginal dryness, the Estring is best.

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