Let’s gripe!

finallyoverit

It’s been one of those days and I’m in the “this stage iv stuff sucks” frame of mind. I’m tired of all of the bloodwork; I’m tired of the monthly Zoladex shots; I’m tired of the constant fatigue; I’m tired of living in 6-month segments in between scans; I’m sick and tired of worrying that while I feel good now, when is it going to change?

😡😡 grrr.. tomorrow I’ll be fine, but I’m grouchy tonight. Anyone else in the “I’m sick of this crap” boat tonight?

KBL

Finallyoverit, I totally get it. I’m sorry you’re having a tough day. You are in my thoughts, and I hope tomorrow is better. I’m also feeling good this last month and am trying to stay in the moment. It’s not easy. We know cancer is going to come knocking harder when we have progression. Sending hugs.

Pirate_Girl

Yes ! I’m in the boat with you (I used to row so I appreciate any boat metaphors). I retired last fall, but between pandemic crap and MBC treatments not working, I haven’t enjoyed the retirement I was planning/hoping for. Right before Covid hit 2+ years ago, my beau and I had planned to take the trans-Canadia train from Toronto to Vancouver, but Covid stopped that and now I don’t know if I can plan anything for 6 months from now because of MBC and scans and doctors and not being sure how I’ll feel, etc. And I spent an hour on the phone today with OPM (in charge of federal retirement) trying to find out why I haven’t received an annuity payment that I’m entitled to because I have MBC - the OPM person had never heard of the form I had filed - I kept having to explain I’m dying. Oh joy. So yes, I’m sick of this crap, too

finallyoverit

Thanks, ladies. It definitely helps to know I’m not alone. Only my stage iv sisters would understand. Wishing everyone a peaceful and symptom free weekend.

Anonymous

I had my annual review this week and it was.... depressing. At least Im close to my line manager so I can speak my mind and I went off about how I was completely done with the UK, the government, government stuff related to our work, the CEO, the CTO, my lack of job definition and why I put under "goals for the next year" return to the US. No one at work, other than HR, knows of the cancer, he just knows I had surgery last fall. The last five months have been a total haul of surgery, recovery, rads, appointments, drug change, and Lynparza is giving me gastro issues right now so I alternate between nausea/D and sometimes a hangover type headache if I haven't had enough water. Its like gastro hot flashes!

March was one long tiresome slog. I never got sick or had to take pills Before, and now it feels like thats all I do!