Waiting for resulting and on the verge of a true breakdown

920fall

I have pretty bad health anxiety, but this scare has completely put me over the edge. I'm already on the 6 month monitoring merry-go-round so I have constant anxiety about my breasts. But in the last two weeks, I found a lump, was sent for biopsy and the radiologist decided to biopsy a second area as well that was detected back in July (though just recommended for follow up at that time). I had the biopsy Monday and the radiologist told me she would call today with results. No call. I have called and was told the report is still pending. I did my best to hold it together until today believing I'd have some answers. But I am not in a good place. I've tried going for a run, popping some xanax, but I cannot get myself to together. I am really considering whether I should seek some emergency psychiatric care. I feel like I'm having a complete mental breakdown. This can't be a normal reaction

PiperKay

920Fall, every reaction is normal! This is scary stuff. Stick around a bit on this board today and you will see people come to your "emotional rescue." We've all been there. Distraction is good, though, so don't just sit with your eyes glued to the screen. I don't know where you are, but it's a gorgeous day here in Atlanta, and many good things are still out there. Take some deep breaths, nothing is going to happen immediately. But be kind to yourself, and don't think you're in any way abnormal for being scared out of your mind. As many others will say, waiting is the hardest part. Once you have solid information, you can make a plan - and that puts some control back in your hands.

So maybe go take another run - or slow down to a walk. We'll be here when you get back.

Anne

exbrnxgrl

920fall,

You mentioned that you have bad health anxiety. Are you being treated for that? While it is true that waiting for test results can be very anxiety provoking for most, if you truly feel that you may be having a psychiatric emergency, please contact a medical professional ASAP. Best to deal with it now, especially if you truly feel a break down is imminent.

If you are not being treated for bad health anxiety, please consider starting treatment. Many of us who have been dx’ed have done this and take meds as well, myself included.

You know yourself best. Although being stressed and anxious when faced with a potential bc diagnosis is completely normal, feeling as if you are truly about to have a mental/emotional breakdown, in the clinical sense, may call for additional help. Again, if you really feel that this is beyond the expected anxiety in such a situation, please contact your doctor. Take care.

moth

Have to ask - are you thinking of harming yourself or others? If yes, contact your emergency services or go to ER immediately.

If you're feeling unbearable anxiety unrelieved by your normal dose of xanax then contact the prescriber & see if there is something else they can offer you.

Please check in again

920fall

no. Not self harm. More like the desire to hug my knees and rock aimlessly alone. I don’t want to see or interact with anyone. I don’t feel like I can face whatever may come.

moth

Good, I'm glad you're not in danger of self harm.

It's ok. You don't have to be brave, you don't have to do anything, or to see anyone right now. Just keep breathing.

You'll deal with things as they come. The things are not here yet. Just breathe.

920fall

yes. It’s the control. I need to feel like I have some control. I am so worked up, every muscle is tight like I’m physically bracing myself.

ctmbsikia

Whether or not you believe: "Lord, help me to remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that you and I together can't handle"

I keep this on my fridge. I don't know, it's helps me, although there are days you feel totally out of control. This is what brings me back.

This forum is a good place, considering there are so many at Stage IV. There are many others too, we will be here for you. Best wishes on your results.

LillyIsHere

920fall, while you wait for biopsy results, I want to share with you couple things that I have learned. First, only 15% of biopsies are cancer. Second, what I have learned is that bad news travel fast and you would be getting a call as soon as they get results. Patients who don't have bad news are in waiting list. This may be a good sign since they didn't call you.

920fall

yes but it’s actually a delay with the pathology. The report was not received today. So the lab is the hold up.

LillyIsHere

Probably the lab is overwhelmed with after covid requests and they are giving priority on diagnoses that are cancer. I had the same experience with my thyroid biopsy, I had to call them a couple of times after I waited for a week and they told me the report wasn't ready. The nurse rushed only when I told her that I am a cancer patient and biopsies trigger anxiety in me. The results were benign . In other cases the same, the good results took forever while the breast cancer result came as fast as a lighting and as loud as a thunder.

Salamandra

I'm so sorry. Anxiety can be really tough.

Some people find that activating the mammalian diving reflex can help give some physical reset. It might be worth trying.

You can also send a message to your health care provider and let them know the xanax isn't working and ask if there's anything else they can do.

Do you have a friend who can come just sit with you and keep an eye on you?

Generally I think emergency psychiatric care is very tricky and should be avoided if you're not in immediate danger. But someone you trust can help be your second eyes for that.

There's no such thing as a normal reaction, you can only deal with where you are. Every minute you make it to the next minute is on the right track. It is bringing you closer to the medical and psychiatric care you need.

Hang in there!

Beaverntx

A delay in the pathology lab could be due to many things that have nothing to do with the results of your biopsy, such as a shortage of personnel for whatever reason. I fully understand putting the worst possible interpretation on the delay but urge you to listen to advice from others to seek help with your anxiety, it certainly cannot hurt and most likely will be very useful! Expecting the worst and planning how to deal with it is one thing but expecting the worst and having that stop you from functioning is crippling and could well benefit from help.

Please keep us updated.

Sunshine99

920fall, you're in a scary waiting room right now. If it helps, I've been diagnosed twice - both times I was called two days after the biopsy. And as was said above, NO reaction is abnormal. Please don't beat yourself up. We'll be here no matter what the outcome, OK?

(((hugs)))

Carol

920fall

update - thank you all for your support. Results came back this morning - benign. One lesion is a complex cyst. The second area is a papilloma - benign - but needs complete removal. I have a follow up visit to discuss options.

Sunshine99

Oh, 920, I'm so glad to hear about the benign results. I hope that the removal of the papilloma goes smoothly for you.

Carol

PiperKay

Hooray, 920fal!!

And thank you so much to all of you who continue to educate me, too, on mental health realities.

Now I'm off to get my flu shot.

Anne

exbrnxgrl

Great news