Mom diagnosed and wondering about my own risks

Concerneddaughter85

Hi, just joined this beautiful community as my mom was recently diagnosed with IDC and I'm trying to find information and a place where I can understand a bit better the implications for my mom and myself now that she has been diagnosed with BC stage IIB.

She lives in Colombia (65) and I live in Estonia (35), but as soon as she was diagnosed I jumped into a plane to be by her side. She has a lumpectomy planned for the 19th of October, plus sentinel lymph node extraction, and is on anastrozole at the moment.

Just looking to be informed and hopefully be a voice for me and my mom through this process that is just starting, my main concern at this point is I can't delay much longer my stay here without affecting my residence, but still understand this is my priority and want to be here as much as possible, the idea of it just adds an extra layer of worry to all the thoughts passing now through my head.

My biggest concern at this point is what should I do to take care of myself, I do the regular visit to the gynecologist every year but am wondering what other things I could do to be safe or at least ahead of the game.

Keep strong and together, this place you have built here is just beautiful 😍

AliceBastable

Have both of you had genetic testing? It's good to have done, but it's actually a pretty small percentage of people who have a genetic connection driving their cancer. My mother and paternal aunt had breast cancer, as did I. My father had kidney cancer, as did I. My maternal grandmother had endometrial/uterine cancer, as did I. I had genetic testing, and not one connection was found. So get tested, but don't assume you're destined to get cancer someday unless you have the specific mutations that show that possibility.

exbrnxgrl

Alice offers good advice. Only about 15% of breast cancers have a known genetic connection and well over 30 genes are now included in test panels. This is well beyond BRCA 1& 2. Both my mother and sister had uterine cancers and my paternal grandmother had bc. We are also Ashkenazi Jews which increases our chances of a BRCA mutation. I have had all available genetic tests and… nothing . So although genetic testing may ease your mind, the reality is that with what is currently known, the great majority of breast cancer cases are not familial. Take care

AMG2

I'm so sorry for what you're both going through, concerneddaughter. I have my own daughter, and two sons, all of whom I was also concerned for. As Alice indicated, genetic testing, if it is available, is a good place to start. I just got a panel done, and 36/36 assessed genes all came back completely normal. That doesn't mean mine is not genetic, just that if it is, the gene for it is not yet known. For me, I've felt from the beginning for a number of reasons that it was environmental - zero history in my family is the primary reason. The women on both sides of my family die at over 100 years of age, and we almost all die of Alzheimer's or some form of dementia (my mother excepted: she had Alzheimer's, but died of covid).

Given that I think mine seems likely to be more environmentally than genetically caused, I have cautioned my own children to get screened early due to us having shared the same environment for the last 20+ years.

On the other hand, if there were strong evidence that it were genetic, I would caution them to to exactly the same thing because half their genes come from me.

Bottom line on what I would advise you to do: get genetic testing, or have your mother do that first - blood gets drawn from me every week, so I just had more taken one week for the testing - and then no matter what, let your own physicians know your mother has had breast cancer, and start getting screenings as soon as that history makes it advisable, and try as best you can to get screened every year after that.

Hang in there, and take care of each other. My own daughter has been an enormous support for me during this time, and I feel what she has done and continues to do for me is a debt I can never, ever repay, and it is a burden I never, ever would have asked her to bear. She just does what she does because she's a good human being. It deeply humbles me. I'm sure your own mother feels the same about you.

bcincolorado

My daughter was told by her doctor they would start doing screening mamos on her earlier than most simply because her mom had cancer. She is 40 now and started hers when she was 32.

Concerneddaughter85

Thank you so much all for your comments and warm wishes, I really appreciate all of you taking the time to give me further insights into the options available, I was researching on the genetic mutation exam and trying to find the best way to act... It is very enlightening to hear and understand from your experiences, I guess once the lumpectomy next week with the results of her pathology we will have more information to look at a proactive plan for me.

At this current moment, I'm focusing on helping her and spending time with her, as here we need to travel from her city to the main city to be able to get on-time treatment. Let's stay strong together! Thank you so much

WC3

Concerneddaughter:

Here in the U.S. you would qualify to be followed at a high risk clinic. The one my sister goes to does yearly mammograms, ultrasounds and MRIs. Breast MRIs may be more likely to spot breast cancer in younger women or women with dense breasts than mammograms and ultrasounds.

msphil

hello sweetie I haven t been here much later as I use too cause my youngest sister has been going thru cancer treatment for a little known cancer since February. Lifting her and Inspiring her as I am Praise God a 27 yr Survivor of breast cancer. So hear is my little bout my journey. I was 42 when I found my lump in shower as my fiance then now husband were planning our 2nd marriages the man I prayed for. Give worked in medical my adult life first in O R as tech then city clinic where had my own office in peds. Called fiance then went to work and then things moved pretty fast. Got call few days after biopsy from a doc friend who asked are u alone and I dropped to knees I knew then. IDC stage2 0/3 nodes 3 mo chemo before and after L mast then got married and then 7wks rads and 5 yrs on tamoxifen hormonal treatment. Your mom can come here and read that she is not alone in this. Ive been here since 2007 I believe to Inspire. Hope and Positivity with Faith got me thru.

KBL

My daughter decided to have genetic testing, even though my brother with breast cancer and I with Stage IV tested negative. I was sure hers would also come back negative. It didn’t. I didn’t think of my husband’s side of the family. She came back with the Chek2 gene, which means my husband has it as well. I’ve told his sister she might want to get tested. Their mom died of lung cancer and didn’t smoke. She had never been tested