Hurry up…and wait

EminGA2018

Like everyone here..I'm learning A LOT about cancer…FAST. However, I'm realizing that my sense of urgency doesn't translate to how methodically this process needs to move along(weeks not days). There is a whole load of hurry up and wait as we go through each additional consult and scan . I have been wondering how everyone else is dealing with the waits.

If you have any special activities, meditations, prayers, mindfulness exercises or books; please share! I'm thinking this might be helpful for all newbies who find themselves here.

hugs and healing thoughts to all xxxx

tntnsd

Hi Emin

As you already knew, the WAIT at the beginning of diagnosis probably one of the hardest one has to be through with breast cancer. Even with good support system at home, some might found that dealing with constant worry while waiting I almost unbearable. For me, I found that trying to keep my hiking routine early in the morning helped, as I kept reminding me that is something within my control, I need the energy, health and clear mind as much as possible to face whatever result coming my way soon.

I learned my lesson not to read into too much what Dr Google offered. This site, read and ask people who had been through this , helped me tremendously. Meditation did not quite work for me, probably because I am kind of multi-tasking person.

I did pray for myself and all many many times. I am not too religious, but I do believe in praying, or doing good deeds.

I did ask my doctor to give me some sleeping pill, anti-anxiety to help me sleep through the night, I only had that just in case I needed, an I think I had those pills only handful of times.

I hope you are able to deal with the WAITING somewhat easier. Hugs and prayers to you and us who went, are through this

EminGA2018

I wanted to throw in a few things that have helped me during some moments of panic. It sounds simplistic but setting up a Pinterest board of feel good stories, puppies greeting their owners after work,etc that I watch anytime I need a break from reality for a while has helped. I also put together a motivational play list to workout to. Sometimes I snuggle with my 8&10 year olds in bed any time of day to watch cartoons. I also force us all out of the house for fresh air even when we’d rather wear pajamas all day. These things don’t necessarily stop the word cancer from playing on a loop in the back of my mind but they make me feel grateful that I’m here. Gratitude for my family, pets, house, this site keeps me going.

K-Gobby

Thank you both for posting. I am 60 and single and find that going on about my day and doing "the next indicated thing is best". I have my consult tomorrow at 4pm with my new oncologist/surgeon at the City of Hope Cancer Center. My pathology report says a 1, but that was from them and no other details mentioned, no lymph nodes were infected was said, but not the test that shows growth rate or est/pro numbers were listed. I have a long time friend who is also on this site and she read my pathology. I hoped she could see something i did not. Her husband had been a pathologist, so they two of them I know were a team in reading results. I made the decision being diagnosed 2 weeks ago, that I need to be informed and tell close friends and my sister what is going on. I trust my new PC doctor office and the center I am going to. All have been supportive to this new gal here. Once I get my plan of action late tomorrow, I will have the next round of acceptance to work through. I will have no peace with out acceptance. I will have crying with fear. I know that, but I will do my best to share these thoughts her and with my family.

On this site i can post what the centers plan is for me, to see how it stacks up with others. City of Hope in Duarte, California is known for cancer treatment. I was grateful I found a doctor there that was in my PPO plan. I know what my friends treatment has cost in Texas at the MD Anderson Center. Wow. I pray all of us can live and stay in the mangagable state during this time,

EminGA2018

K-Gobby,

Sending you many virtual hugs. I hope getting more information tomorrow gives you comfort. My second surgeon and his team made me feel so well-cared for in the two hour consult that I was on the verge of tears. It helps to mitigate some of the uncertainty and feel some sense of control restored. It sounds like you are going to a Cancer Center with a great reputation and I hope you experience the best care. please update us on how everything goes!

Xx

MEandJax

I know what you mean about hurry up and wait EminGA2018 and everyone.

I found the lump (by feel) on 6/25/2021; saw my primary the next week, mammo/ultrasound/biopsy the same week; my primary is on the ball. I met with the Oncologist on 7/7/2021, then things slowed down. The cancer center has a breast health navigator who scheduled the surgeon on 7/14/2021 and the Radiation Oncologist 7/15/2021, and I finally got scheduled for an MRI 7/23/2021. The tumor board met on 7/16/2021; but they want to wait for the MRI results to determine a treatment plan. The board only meets on Fridays (my three doctors, the pathologist, and navigator) so another week ticks by. While I was reading, I learned about bone density concerns so my primary got me a DEXA scan set up on 7/20/2021. Unfortunately, I have Osteopenia, she said to walk more (weight bearing exercise) and take 1,200 mg calcium with vitamin D. I am already on 5,000 IU of vitamin D daily for my thyroidectomy (papillary cancer 2017) so I let my endocrinologist know also.

I pray often (not to take it away but to help me get through), I talk to friends and my sisters on the phone as often as I can. It seems that expressing myself and talking about this helps me get by. My beloved pets (Jax - standard poodle, Charilecat - tabby cat) are also a big help. Reading inspirational quotes also helps, as long as they are not to vague. I have a logical, somewhat technical brain and sometimes the flowery stuff goes over my head.

Thank you all for the 'sisterhood'.

AliceBastable

I found that mindLESSness worked for me - doing as many things as possible to distract myself, and carrying on with fun activities. In between tests and appointments, my spouse and I went on a lot of day trips to nice state parks, which is my preferred activity no matter what's going on in my life. We kept it up after the lumpectomy, and between more rounds of tests for a different cancer that was found, then a short vacation before surgery for that, more parks after surgery, and another short vacation before finally starting radiation. We've always done a lot of cheap travel, so we were all set to deliberately plan these distractions. It helped a lot at the time, and the best part is that looking back on that year, I remember the fun activities MUCH more than the dreary medical stuff.

Esther01

I have been there and remember that long wait. Keeping busy and distracted is a great help. I remember praying in the shower as the water fell on my breast, thanking God for touching and healing me, whether in my timing or in His. I took long walks deliberately clearing my mind and focusing on the flowers I walked past. When I couldn't sleep, I put on ocean waves on Youtube or an uplifting soundtrack to distract myself. Just when you think you can't wait a moment longer, all of a sudden your oncologists have the treatment plan ready, and it's... Go. I will be thinking of you and praying for you..

Love,

Esther

K-Gobby

Hi all, I forget to update as i go. I met with my doctor at City of Hope, and she pulled no punches. She sketched out breast cancers. Each one and where they come from and markers for each. Tumor size and Estrogen and Progesterone and all those stats. I wrote on my original post that i did not expect her to say mastectomy. But really, with tumor size and getting margins, not much breast left for me. Yikes! She gave me possibilities. First was an MRI that i completed Yesterday at 10am. I read up on how it works so i had no surprise. I donate platelets at the Red Cross so the needle for the IV was smaller. I do not sleep on my stomach, but 30 minutes facedown was still something i could do. I can do anything once, if I know i will not have to do it forever. I hope to get the results Monday or Tuesday by phone. See if another Ultrasound will be needed and then the path of action to remove the cancer. This Doctor is young, and her staff in her Pasadena office are kind and helpful. She listens, looks at me and hears what i said. In her review of our visit, she said exactly what was said. Not that i had made a final decision, but that i have heard what is suggested and agree on each step a test at a time. A medical oncologist will need to be found in my PPO network. I will call my Primary for suggestions.

For me it is staying busy with regular things. Clean the kitchen. Bake a loaf of bread. Talk to my sisters. Share and read on this site. Take walks. Drink lots and lots of water. Know that i do have cancer, but do not allow it to take over my mind. Prayers to God that he give me the courage to handle what comes and to take the hands of those around me to walk this journey.

TurboKitten88

I would agree that waiting is the hardest part. I reliaze now they are just doing their job and they do it every day and see others like us. Its like a waitress not getting stressed when it gets busy. She just keeps a steady pace. Waiting in between the scans and to start "doing something" was the worst. But once i started active treatment i do feel like it helped me to feel more at ease with the process. Now life after cancer.....thats another story lol