My mom is at her appointment right now.

anonymous_852456

Please pray and keep fingers crossed for a good outcome. Thank you all for the comfort and advice.

Janet_111

our prayers are with you and your mom .

Best wishes and hugs.

anonymous_852456

God Bless you Janet. Thank you. I really needed the hugs.

Tiger98

Praying for good news! Sending wishes and hugs!

anonymous_852456

Yay! A miracle! God is good and so are all of you! You all are in my daily prayers, even those I head butted with.

Size of a grain of rice! Radiologist wants mom back in 6 months- he said he would've done biopsy if he wasn't certain it was dense/fiber like tissue. 9 days of utter complete hell. I'm so happy I'm laughing and sobbing at the same time.

Beesie

Glad that the results were good.

But no, it's not a miracle. Not even remotely a miracle. The result is great news, but the result is what was most likely. It's what every one of us were telling you, which is that most callbacks turn out just fine, and the odds of an advanced/metastatic cancer diagnosis (which is what you feared) were tiny tiny tiny - too small to be so anxious about. The "utter complete hell" you've gone through over the past nine days was not because of the callback, it was self-inflicted. The callback was a low risk situation but your mind put you through hell. I'm sorry about that, and I hope you can figure out how you can manage your anxiety when you face these types of situations again in the future - because in life, these types of situations happen to all of us, and with increasing frequency as we get older.

Just going for perspective again here. There are people on this site, some who have been offering you support, who really could use miracles. Unfortunately they are not likely to get them.

Now go off and celebrate with your mother.

Janet_111

Dear anonymous_852456 , I am very happy for you 😊 😊😊. Celebrate with your mom . Please don’t forget about us in your prayers . I am still waiting for my biopsy result.

duchess78

Beesie thanks for posting this. This had nothing to do with luck. It was a callback. Happens all the time. Most of us on here have been diagnosed with cancer (myself included, TNBC, DCIS, and ER +). Luck had nothing to do with that either. Not sure why this is upsetting me so much. I have a broken ankle because my bones are so bad after chemo, hysterectomy, and hormone blockers. Is this just luck? I guess most of us on here just have bad luck? Sorry, having a bad day I guess. Needed a minute to vent.

exbrnxgrl

I am so glad that things turned out well! Please take beesie’s post to heart. There was no luck nor miracles involved. Everything you told us pointed to this favorable outcome while nothing pointed to the worst case scenario you kept dwelling on, nothing. Gaining some perspective and help with your tendency to catastrophize will be a gift to yourself and help you decrease over the top stress which is very bad for your health. Take care

Beesie

duchess, I am sorry that had such a hard time with treatment and the after-effects of treatment. You have every right to vent. Have you found the "Steam Room" thread yet? It's a great place to vent

Shortly after I joined this site, when someone new was frantic about something that seemed minor to most of us, someone very wise pointed out that "the worst thing someone has ever gone through is the worst thing they've ever gone through". For those of us with a breast cancer diagnosis, it puts into perspective the fear that someone might have the first time they face a callback or a biopsy. We may have experienced worse, but if they never have, their fear is understandable. So we should never think "my situation is worse than your situation so you shouldn't be so scared". If this is the worst thing they've experienced, of course they are scared! I try to remember this when I post in the Not Diagnosed Forum.

But just as I think that we (those of us who will stay on this site for a while because we have cancer or on-going problems) need to have perspective and need to be considerate of those posting in the Not Diagnosed Forum, I also think that the people who come here for advice and support also need to have perspective. That was the point of my post here, and my previous post to anonymous in another thread. I understand that someone facing a callback or biopsy will be scared - uncertainty and the unknown is always scary, especially when the outcome could be something as serious as a cancer diagnosis. But while expressing their fears and asking for advice and support, these new posters should remember that most of the audience they are posting to are people who have been diagnosed with breast cancer, some with metastatic breast cancer. We are living what some of these new posters describe to be their worst nightmare. But for us, it's just the reality of our lives, and it can be painful to see our situations described with such horror.

So I think we need perspective and respect and consideration on both sides.

TB90

Perspective comes with experience. Newbies have little experience with this as do 80% of women. Their innocence and “ignorance” is expected. BCO women know wayyyyy more than they should and I am so grateful for their incredible contributions to those who need it. I benefited enormously. Having said that, there is a need to support women through extreme anxiety about their and their loved ones health. Anxiety is an illness, not a self inflicted situation meant to irritate others. It’s not a weakness nor a fault. If newbies seem inconsiderate due to their self interest, perhaps there should be forums just for them. I worry how many get scared off, never to return. Newbies have not yet acquired political correctness and neither have the rest of us when it comes to a multitude of other issues. I am so glad that we are not experts in all illnesses or issues. When we lose patience and tolerance, let others do it.

I haven’t been here for a long time. New health issues brought me back. But I am not here for support this time. Just needed to check in on other familiar names. The tone on the forums seems different. We had so many groups based on surgery dates, radiotherapy. Expertise is valuable, but support and kindness is too. Wishing the best available to all

moth

The monthly chemo, surgery & rads threads are all still there! BCO is also trying out zoom etc. I don't think the tone has really changed much since I joined up in 2017.

TB90

Thanks for correcting me.

Jetcat

I’d like to add one other thought that may be relevant. Those of us who have close relatives with breast or ovarian cancer can get the impression that we have a target on our backs. So, when what seems like a fairly minor scare to someone else happens to us, we instantly think the worst. If we’ve experienced a loved one’s battle with advanced cancer, we know more than we should as well. I lost my sister to a rare form of cancer (not genetic) and my mom to ovarian cancer. My sister’s daughters (my nieces) are convinced that it’s inevitable for them despite the fact that they tested negative for BRCA and other genetic mutations. They are smart women but they have the PTSD that unfortunately is part of the cancer word. Luckily they are proactive about screening, etc. just a thought that no one really knows the entire story behind what seems like irrational fear

Beesie

Jetcat, I agree. That is not the situation here, but regardless, there are many reasons why people instantly fear the worst, and there are many people who struggle with health anxiety. I think most of us who frequent the "Not Diagnosed" forums understand and appreciate that, and try to carefully frame our responses.

Having said that, I would hope that even someone with extreme fear or anxiety would not want to say something that is hurtful / painful / inappropriate to other people, especially people who are providing them with advice and support. Especially people who are dealing with the very health issues that are so frightening to this individual. I would want to be gently told if I ever did that.

I didn't think it would be controversial to say that "I think we need perspective and respect and consideration on both sides." To TB90's comments, I'll add 'kindness' to that list.

Jetcat

Beesie- your ability to provide factual information in a clear, distilled and compassionate manner has been a godsend to me and I’m sure many 1000’s of others.

And yes, courtesy and respectis important for everyone of course!